Profil & Mamba Condoms

Profil 3-Pack —— $6.00
Mamba 3- Pack —— $6.00

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “We consume a shit-load of condoms every year.”
Hank: “You might even say we have a little condom fetish.”
Glenn: “We always bring our own condoms to all the play parties we attend. And there are always buckets full of our favorite rubbers available at our house when we are the hosts of a party.”
Hank: “We simply can’t get behind barebacking. I know a lot of guys are doing it these days, but Glenn and I stand firm.”
Glenn: “We play with a lot of people and there’s simply no way of knowing where they’ve all been or what they’ve all been doing. So the path of the least resistance is a love glove; plain and simple!”
Hank: “When you find a good condom; one that fits and that’s comfortable; well, it’s like wearing nothing at all.Profil is one such condom. It fits me perfectly, it’s super sheer and it has a nice reservoir tip; all the things I look for in a rubber.”
Glenn: “I second that! I like the Mamba style. It’s a lot like Profil, but it’s yellow.”
Hank: “Glenn likes yellow because he’s a piss queen.”
Glenn: “That’s not the only reason I like yellow. But yeah, he’s right about me bein a big piss queen.”
Hank: “These condoms are made in Sweden; they’re silky and pre-lubed. The contour is great too. It’s snug right under my dickhead.”
Glenn: “The O!Zone people are the exclusive American importer of these superior RFSU condoms.”
Hank: “Oh, and about the vegan thing. While I never thought much about this before; it does make sense. So here’s the deal, the Vegan Action Foundation certifies that no animal products of any kind were used in the manufacturing of these condoms nor were any animals used in product testing.”
Glenn: “Use these condoms and make yours a greener, cruelty-free fuck.”
Hank: “You can’t beat that with a stick. Buy some today!”

Okeido and Birds ‘N Bees vegan condoms

Okeido 3-Pack —— $6.00

I’m not one of those guys who throws a hissy fit over having to wear a condom when I fuck. I happen to think it’s a sign of respect to the lady I’m about to bone. She doesn’t always know where my johnson has been and I rarely know where her meatpie has been. So it just makes sense. I mean, the more of a big deal ya make about this simple health and safety thing the more of a douchebag you are. So fuckin get over it already.

Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to two of the amazing RFSU condoms. The first is Okeido. I don’t know what that mean, or even if it has a meaning. Maybe it’s Swedish for abbondanza. Ok, so here’s the deal. Okeido is a slightly larger sheath for us bigger boys — length 190 mm., width 53 mm. They’re silky to the touch, silicone-lubed, ultra-thin, have a fuller reservoir tip and they’re an ideal fit.

This Swedish company, RFSU (the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education), is known for their stringent quality testing as well as for their pleasure-enhancing designs. Here, here!

And here’s something I’ve never seen before. These rubbers are vegan! I suppose you’re gonna ask; what makes a condom vegan? Well, I’ll tell ya; the Vegan Action Foundation certifies that no animal products of any kind were used in the manufacturing of these condoms nor were any animals used in product testing. This makes them a bit pricier than your run of the mill condoms. But you’re not gonna get greener than this and they make for an integral component of a cruelty-free lifestyle! And that is totally my style.

Birds ‘N Bees 3- Pack —— $6.00

These babies, like their Okeido siblings, are also vegan. They’re silky to the touch, silicone-lubed, ultra-thin and have a reservoir tip.

The Birds ‘N Bees style is ribbed and bumped for added sensations. Mmmm, ribbed and bumped! I actually have a preference for a textured condom. But these are not quite as roomy as the Okeido — length 185 mm., width 52 mm. They’re not uncomfortable, mind you, just snug. These would be idea for the man with an average endowment.

Now all we have to do is get them to make a ribbed and bumped version of the larger condoms.

Despite the fact that these are vegan, they are still latex. So you folks out there with a latex sensitivity need to look elsewhere. And for god sake, guys, use a personal lube when you groovin’, especially when you’re wearing a glove. And make sure it’s water-based or silicone-based though. Oil-based lube and latex condoms do not mix.

These condoms are a luxury product for the Prophylactic Connoisseur. Go get ‘em!

Four Seasons Condoms

Four Seasons Nude Tin Pack $5.99

Hot damn! I just got me a whole package of exceptionally fine condoms from the folks at Fournudetin_big.jpg Seasons Condoms and Lube. I’d even go so far as to say these Four Seasons Nude (Latex) Condoms are the Rolls Royce of love-gloves; I like ’em that much.

For all you guys out there who whine about having to wear protection, because it cuts down on your sensitivity or cramps your style — GET OVER IT! These microfine and super sensitive condoms will astound you. They are so sheer you’ll hardly notice ya got one on. Get this, I could actually feel a breath on my willie while I was sportin’ one of this babies. And if you’re tryin’ to wrap your head around why someone would be breathing on my boner; well, you’d just better mind your own damned business.

You can buy these (and all their other condoms) online or look for them in finer stores everywhere. These particular condoms come with a handy pocket/purse tin that’ll keep your condoms safe and fresh. Now you’ll never have to leave home without one. Just remember — No Glove, No Love!


Simply put, I can’t heap enough praise on this amazing Australian company. (They also distribute in America.) Besides the load of fun, safe sex products they have to offer; these folks have a social conscience to boot! I am so impressed. Hurray for them!

Be sure to check out their oh so sexy website. You’re gonna absolutely love the wit and wisdom you’ll find there. You can tell these folks love what they do.