U Touch Down Silicone Vibe

U Touch Down Silicone Vibe —— $85.08

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’re back with another timely review. And like the last product we reviewed, we have another high-end silicone vibe for you today. Unlike the last product we reviewed, the U Touch Down is an insertable as opposed to a external vibe.”
Kevin: “I like insertables!”
Gina: “I know you do. I’m sure we’re going to get to that in a minute.”
Kevin: “Alright, before we tell you what we did with the U Touch Down, maybe we should describe it to you. Gina mentioned that it is made of silicone. I’ll add that it’s nonporous, nontoxic, and hypoallergenic silicone.  And the silicone covers the insertable end of the vibe, which only extends to the hard plastic handle. It’s also rechargeable. YAY! But sadly, it’s not waterproof. I can’t understand why Topco didn’t go the distance and make it waterproof. I mean, this is supposed to be a high-end vibe, right?”
Gina: “Yeah, I couldn’t get over that either. Oh well! The U Touch Down has five insertable inches with a modest 1.3″ girth. It’s designed as a G-spot massager, but works just as well as a P-spot massager. Just as long as you don’t insert it beyond the silicone head and neck. But I’ll bet you could have figured that out on your own, huh?”Touch Down
Kevin: “It’s ergonomically designed, it has a whopping 16 speeds and 9 functions of vibration and pulsation. The four button controller is in the handle. So far so good.”
Gina: “But because it’s not waterproof, it’s tricky to clean. All you can do is wipe it down with mild soap and warm water for everyday clean up. To sanitize, like before sharing this toy, wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Of course you can only use a water-based lube with the U Touch Down. A silicone-based lube would mar the finish.”
Kevin: “The shape of the U Touch Down is very familiar. It looks very much like the LELO MONA, as well as at least a dozen other such toys we’ve seen online. I really, really liked the universal charger, it’s a 110V, 220V and USB compatible magnetic charger rolled into one. Which pretty much covers all the bases, if ya ask me.”
Gina: “The control panel looks easy enough to operate, but looks, as we all know, can be very deceiving. After fully charging the unit (a red light blinks on the charger while it charges) I tried to turn it on. Nothing happened. None of the buttons lit up; it simply wouldn’t turn on. I dug out the instruction manual, but discovered it didn’t apply to this particular vibe. That was weird. The instructions kept talking about inserting batteries. FRUSTRATED!”
Kevin: “I dug around in the little charger box and found a little slip of paper that apparently was added to the packaging as an afterthought. This bit of paper diagnosed the problem. The vibe was on lock-down mode. WHAT?  Is that so it doesn’t turn on accidentally, or what? Once we figured that out we had more success operating the U Touch Down. The control panel is neither intuitive nor easy to operate, and it is just so damn finicky.”
Gina: “Ya know that paper insert Kevin just mentioned, it says you turn on the vibe by pressing the plus and minus buttons simultaneously. However, the instructions on the packaging say you press the up and down buttons simultaneously. Sheesh! As it turned out, the up and down buttons are the correct ones.”
Kevin: “The U Touch Down delivers moderate vibrations in all the speeds and modes. This suggests to me that this vibe is geared toward someone who is just starting out with vibration, or who likes a more gentle sensation. However, someone used to a more intense vibration will, I think, be disappointed. It is pretty quiet though.”
Gina: “Ya know what I liked? I thought the packaging was quite lovely and very distinctive. And it’s made up of all recyclable materials. Despite the many promising features of the U Touch Down, I was disappointed with it, so much so that I can’t bring myself to recommend it.”
Kevin: “I feel the same way. I wanted to like this vibe more—it’s attractive, nicely shaped, and rechargeable—than I was able to. I felt like Topco was really on to something here, but then they just drop the ball. And that’s too bad, especially since it is retailing for over $130 on some sites. Holy shit!”

The Hooded Nun

Hooded Nun —— $120

Christa
This review is pretty reminiscent of how I got started in this gig.

I was recruited to the Dr Dick Review Crew back in October 2008 and posted my first review then following month. Back then Dr Dick had three beautiful silicone insertables that he needed reviewed and none of the other Review Crew members would touch them. Our mutual friend, Joy, suggested I step up. I couldn’t get over it. I wrote back then: “…you’re just gonna fork over three totally bitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free. And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.”

Ever since then I’ve been the go-to gal for all the freaky stuff that comes to us for review. Enter today’s product. Here we have the stunning Hooded Nun, a glass insertable from Fucking Sculptures. Can ya stand it? And I got it because it has the word “nun” in the name. SCORE!

hooded-nun

This thing is so fuckin’ rad. Mine is black; so black it has a metallic, silver sheen to it. But it also comes in four other colors and two other sizes. So you pretty much get to customize your nun to suit yourself. Mine is the medium size, about 12” long from head to toe, which is plenty big for me. And it’s hefty as shit. Mine weighs in at nearly 2lbs. That’s not a dildo, that’s a fucking weapon!

This is my first glass toy. It looks and feels much different from the glass toys I’m used to seeing in my local sex toy emporium. The Hooded Nun is handcrafted of soda lime glass. And because all their products are handcrafted, no two are exactly alike. This is nothing short of fucking art.

The Hooded Nun is the ideal G-spot massager. And if you ask my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex, he’ll tell you it’s deadly in his ass and on his prostate. Alex is like this total ass whore. I’m the first girlfriend he ever let finger his hole and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time! I created a monster. But now I get to lay into him with Reverend Muther ova here and he couldn’t be happier.

The Hooded Nun is banana shaped; smooth on it’s dorsal side and ribbed on its belly. Its tail is a stylized pussy-shaped handle that makes maneuvering this big thing into place effortless. It’s also fantastic for doing my kegel exercises. I like to think of it as a barbell for my PC muscles.

You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.

And if that weren’t enough, you can chill and warm glass for superior sensation play.

Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning couldn’t be easier. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, since Alex and I are sharing the Hooded Nun, we sanitize it after each use by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

The Hooded Nun came wrapped in a hemmed piece of reclaimed fabric with a ribbon sewn on to it. Inside the wrap there was also a card with care and use instructions. It’s a beautiful presentation and would make a stunning gift.

If you’ve never had a glass toy and you want to give this amazing material a try, you can’t do better than a Fucking Sculptures.

Tunnel Plug

Tunnel Plug — $44.95

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “’Wait a minute! Are you telling me someone’s gone and fiddled with one of the most basic sex toys ever? I hope to god they didn’t fuck it up.’ That was me on the telephone with Dr Dick when he asked if Chuck and I would be up for reviewing the revolutionary Tunnel Plug.”
Chuck: “I was like totally down with at least taking a look at it. But I was simply going on the other Perfect Fit Brand reviews posted here and I figured, how bad could it be? Besides, there are loads of different kinds of plugs out there.”
Mick: “Yeah, there is! But a plug’s a plug, right? And my thoughts were, well if it works why fix it? As fate would have it, all my worry was for nothing, because even though the Tunnel Plug is revolutionary, it still is very much a plug. It has all the features of the traditional design — the insertable part is a tapered cone or bulb shape, designed for easy insertion and giving you that all-filled-up feeling while it’s in place. The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum.”
Chuck: “Ok, so let’s tell everyone how the Tunnel Plug is different from every other butt plug we’ve ever see. Most of the butt plugs I’m familiar with are made of a solid material — glass, metal, wood, rubber, etc. You can’t have something really squishy, because you could never get it in your ass. The Tunnel Plug is firm, but flexible. It’s even got a little stretch to it. It’s made of a proprietary material called PFBlend. It stretches like TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber), but it is safe and durable like silicone.”
Mick: “The next obvious difference between this plug and all the rest is the center is hallow. I know, why didn’t someone think of this sooner? It is the perfect convenience. Instead of just plugging your hole, you can open it too. The tunnel hole goes right through the core of the Tunnel Plug. So once I had the Tunnel Plug in my ass, I inserted a slim vibrating dildo in the center of the plug and I was happy as a pig in shit!”
Chuck: “It’s also ideal for keeping your hole open for a quick douche. The hose or nozzle fits right in the hollow center. And think of all the enema play fun you can have. You can insert a finger too. And if you have a little penlight flashlight you can shine a light in the very place where the sun don’t shine. I did this while the Tunnel Plug was in Mick’s ass. I mean, I had never seen the inside of a guy’s hole before. It’s kinda breath-taking actually.”
Mick: “Not to be undone by Chuck’s creativity, I decided to make the Tunnel Plug part of my Halloween costume this year. I found this faux-fur foxtail (Try saying that three times fast.) at a costume store here in town. I fastened it to a wooden dowel from the hardware store and inserted the dowel into the hallow center of the Tunnel Plug. It looked fantastic, if I have to say so myself.”
Chuck: “We need to submit that costume suggestion to the DIY site!”
Mick: “The point is, the Tunnel Plug allows you to be creative in your anal play. I decided that some sensation play might be nice. A trickle of chilled (not ice cold) water through the hallow center was both startling and amazing. What a unique feeling. The fact that the plug gives you this filled up sensation while allowing you to add another sensation is like WOW!”
Chuck: “The Tunnel Plug comes in two sizes — (Small/Medium): 3″ total length, 2.75″ insertable length, 2″ in width, and 6.25″ in circumference and (Medium/Large): 3.5″ total length, 3″ insertable length, 2.5″ in width, and 8″ in circumference.”
Mick: “You can use any type of lube you want wit the Tunnel Plug. And clean up is a snap. Because the PFBlend material is nonporous, everyday cleanup with a mild soap and hot water is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your toys sanitizing is highly recommended. You can drop the Tunnel Plug in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, then let it air dry. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Chuck: “I can assure you, you’ve never seen anything quite like the Tunnel Plug; it’s the coolest innovation in butt plugs since…well fuckin’ EVAH!”
Mick: “Get one for yourself and give one as a gift. Remember, the holidays are just around the corner and there’s a little butt pirate in all of us.”

Vitality by Leaf

Vitality —— $104.63

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “After we read Jada’s review of Bloom, Kevin and I hoped we’d have an opportunity to review one the Leaf line of vibes.”
Kevin: “Gina and I are all about GREENING our sex life. We are trying to avoid anything that isn’t healthy for us or our planet. That’s why we were so excited when we got the Vitality to review. The Leaf line is as about as GREEN as green can be.”
Gina: “I suppose some might consider Vitality a rabbit-type vibe, and in a way they’d be right. But there’s nothing traditional about its design. It is a double-headed, dual-motored vibe that resembles a new shoot of a plant in spring. It’s even the same color of spring. Vitality is a unisex vibe that can be use by either women or men. You can use it vaginally for G-spot stimulation and/or anally for prostate massage. But my favorite is as a clit vibe!”
Kevin: “I couldn’t get over the versatility of the Vitality. But that’s just the beginning. The Vitality is made from medical grade silicone, which means it’s nonporous, nontoxic, hypoallergenic, as well as latex and phthalate-free. It is odorless and tasteless too. It is smooth and silky with a matte finish. We found that we needed a few drops of lube when using the Vitality because there can be a bit of a drag without. Of course, you can only use a water-based lube with this beauty. A silicone-based lube will mar the beautiful finish of the Vitality.”
Gina: “The Vitality is also rechargeable. It takes approximately 2 hours to fully charge. The charging port is on the opposite side of the bulbous base from the control buttons. There is a light under the port that indicates it is being charged. Speaking of the controls, there is one control button for each of the ears of the vibe. The buttons lights up when you activate them and you can operate each motor independently. There are only vibration settings. No pulsing patterns. To turn the vibrations on you simply press the button and hold it down until you get to your desired level of intensity. To turn it off you only have to hit the button once.”
Kevin: “The Vitality is super quite. Which really surprised me, because it’s powerful little vibe. But my favorite feature of the Vitality is it’s waterproof. I can bugger myself in the bath and/or shower. And because of it diminutive size, it has a total length of 5.5” and an insertable length of 3.25”, as well as it’s flexibility, it makes it an ideal toy for guys just learning to stimulate their prostate. One of the ears can be inserted, while the other massages his taint (perineum).”
Gina: “The waterproof feature makes the Vitality not only a joy to use in the bath or shower, as Kevin just said, but makes it so easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine, but you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol. The Vitality is too good not to share, and sharing is no problem because it can be sanitized using a 10% bleach solution. And just to prove to ourselves that the Vitality can stand up to a good sanitizing; we even swished it around in a pot of boiling water for a couple of minutes and put it through the gentle cycle of the dishwasher.”
Kevin: “Now a word about Leaf ’s signature packaging. Everything is biodegradable. The cardboard box is made of recycled paper. The look and feel is all GREEN. The box is fastened with a magnetically closing flap. Lift the flap, to open. Inside the box you will see a black packet, which contains the instruction manual presented in several languages. Below the user’s manual is a drawstring canvas bag containing the Vitality. The bag is thick and durable, excellent for storing and safe-keeping. Under the canvas bag is the unit’s recharger. Every aspect of the presentation proclaims that the designers and developers were serious about the environment. If only more adult companies were as environmentally conscious.”
Gina: “While we most often use the Vitality for our solo play, it is also outstanding for partnered play, particularly in the bath. And when it is inserted, it’s hands-free fun.”
Kevin: “We both think that you simply can’t beat the Vitality. Except maybe by one of the other fantastic designs from the Leaf collection.”
Gina: “And for those of you out there thinking to yourself; my, the Vitality is kind of pricy. All I have to say to you is THINK ABOUT IT! This vibe all quality, it will last. And rechargeable means no extra expense for batteries. Besides we’ve seen “luxury” toys out there that are more expensive than the Vitality with fewer of the high-end features of the Vitality. Finally, we think we all should be supporting and encouraging companies who are helping us GREEN our sex life. The Leaf line is on this cutting edge. Supporting them will help change the whole industry.”

Mimi by Blush Novelties

Mimi Pink —— $17.20

Christa

Just last month I posted a review of a fab new strap on by SpareParts. You can see that review HERE!

But what good is a harness if you don’t have a dong to use with it, right? Luckily, when I picked up the Joque to review, Dr Dick had this wonderful dildo from Blush Novelties to use with it. WIN/WIN!

So here’s my Mimi. Isn’t she terrific? She’s pink, but she also comes in two other colors. She is made from 100% high quality silicone, which as you probably know, is nonporous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. She’s not so big as to be frightening, just about 6.5” long x 1.25” thick, but, by god, she’ll get the job done. Just ask my sub butt-boy BF, Alex.

You’ll also notice that my Mimi is ribbed for his/her pleasure. Alex says that the sculptured waves and ridges make love to his ass lips. And he says that Mimi’s gentle curve is perfect for that prostate massage he craves. My pervert BF, Alex, is a connoisseur of all things anal. But the same can be said for G-spot stimulation. And I know this because when I’m not using this thing on Alex, I’m diddlin’ myself with it. So as you can see, it’s great to use with or without a strap on. You will find that the base makes it easy to grip if you aren’t using it with a harness.

Because we like to share our toys, it’s important that the toys we share be easily sanitized. This is where buying a quality silicone toy makes perfect sense. Cleanup, sanitization and sterilization couldn’t be easier. Simple soap and water is fine for everyday cleaning. Wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher. PERFECT!

You probably know this already, but it bears repeating; use only a water-based lube with this fine dong. A silicone-based lube will degrade the beautiful satin finish of sweet Mimi. And because of its beautiful finish, you’ll find that you won’t need gobs and gobs of lube either.

And look at the price! You simply can’t go wrong paying under $20 for a beautiful, high quality textured insertable. In fact, why not pick up a few, each in a different color.

Nexus Revo

Nexus Revo —— $199.99

Brad
Damn, it’s almost been a year since I posted my last review. I had to take a break from reviewing, because I guess I was getting burnt out. The toys offered to me didn’t spark any enthusiasm, so I simply declined the offers. I didn’t want to try to review something that didn’t at least pique my interest.

At any rate, when Dr Dick offered me the Nexus Revo to review I jumped on the opportunity. I’m a straight guy who really gets off on ass play. I make a point of saying I’m straight, because so many people assume if a guy is into his butt hole, he’s gotta be gay. Nonsense! Happily, the days of making that uninformed leap are over. More and more straight guys are discovering their prostate and living to tell the story.

Nexus is one of the companies that is making prostate massage a household word. I’ve turned a number of my clients, I’m a personal trainer, on to their very interesting line of massagers and stimulators.

The Nexus Revo is supposed to represent a REVOlution in prostate massage. And in a way it is, at least it was for me. I am very familiar with the vibrating massagers and the plugs that act as stimulators, but the Nexus Revo is different from all the others. The tip of the insertable end rotates. Very cool! There is also a vibrator in the end that stimulates the perineum too. The small nubs on this part of the toy are soft and pliable. While that’s not a new phenomenon, it is noteworthy.

Nexus is fond of calling the prostate the male G-spot, which makes me squirm. I hate P-spot too. Do we really need these euphemisms? Let’s put our big boy pants on and call it by its name — prostate. Maybe then the guys who don’t know where theirs is, or the pleasure it can deliver, will be prompted to look for it.

The Nexus Revo is the right size for newbies and advanced users alike, anyone can enjoy this toy. Hey, even women wanting to explore their G-spot will get off on this. The business parts of this insertable are made of 100% hypoallergenic, latex free, nonporous and phthalates free silicone. The other parts, the base, where the controller is and battery compartment, are made of plastic. And because this thing is silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with it. And all ass play requires lots of lube

The bumps and ridges of the Nexus Revo make for easy insertion. For all you butt hole novices out there, just insert one bump and ridge at a time. No need to try and insert it all at once. But once fully inserted your ass sphincter will close down on the final notch holding the toy in place. So it sort of acts like a butt plug, for the most part. This makes the Nexus Revo a hands-free stimulator, which I really like. Because I like to tug on my nuts and stroke my cock when my prostate is being pleasured. I liked using it best while lying down on my back or side. The base is pretty bulky, so sitting on it is uncomfortable.

The dual motors are strong and quiet. There’s a single button controller. A single push of that button starts the rotation, a second push gives you a pulse vibe pattern and a third push escalates the pattern and a final push of the button turns the thing off.

I liked the very unique and stylish packaging. Everything, except the little foam cushion at the bottom of the package is made of recyclable paper products. Thank you for being so conscientious, Nexus. There’s even a little black satin drawstring storage pouch included in the box. Very thoughtful.

So far so good.

Now my gripes.

The Nexus Revo is not waterproof. What where they thinking? Nexus could have easily gone the extra mine and made the battery compartment waterproof, but they didn’t. I simply don’t get that. This is a toy for your asshole, people! Those of us who love our holes want our insertable toys to be sanatizable. This one is decidedly not. I also like using my prostate toys in the shower and bath. There’s no way I can do that with this thing. Disappointed!

I also thought the battery compartment was poorly designed. I mean, not only is it not watertight, but it’s made of cheap plastic that I had to struggle with to close properly.

And why is there a battery compartment to begin with? This thing should be rechargeable. I mean battery-powered toys are so last decade. All you have to do is look around at the competition. There are GREEN companies out there that are producing 100% seamless silicone G-spot and P-spot toys that are completely waterproof and rechargeable and they are less expensive too.

What’s up with the one rotational speed option? I wanted to be able to kick it up at least one notch to get myself off when I was close. With the Nexus Revo I get close but there is just not enough stimulation to push me over the edge, if you know what I mean.

Hey Nexus, how can you ask your customers to shell out two hundred bucks for a battery-operated toy, with limited speed and vibration options that is not waterproof? Again, what are you thinking?

While I really liked a lot of the features of the Nexus Revo — the size, shape, versatility and especially the unique revolving head, I simply can’t recommend it. The pricing, for what you get, is all wrong.