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U Touch Down Silicone Vibe

U Touch Down Silicone Vibe —— $85.08

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’re back with another timely review. And like the last product we reviewed, we have another high-end silicone vibe for you today. Unlike the last product we reviewed, the U Touch Down is an insertable as opposed to a external vibe.”
Kevin: “I like insertables!”
Gina: “I know you do. I’m sure we’re going to get to that in a minute.”
Kevin: “Alright, before we tell you what we did with the U Touch Down, maybe we should describe it to you. Gina mentioned that it is made of silicone. I’ll add that it’s nonporous, nontoxic, and hypoallergenic silicone.  And the silicone covers the insertable end of the vibe, which only extends to the hard plastic handle. It’s also rechargeable. YAY! But sadly, it’s not waterproof. I can’t understand why Topco didn’t go the distance and make it waterproof. I mean, this is supposed to be a high-end vibe, right?”
Gina: “Yeah, I couldn’t get over that either. Oh well! The U Touch Down has five insertable inches with a modest 1.3″ girth. It’s designed as a G-spot massager, but works just as well as a P-spot massager. Just as long as you don’t insert it beyond the silicone head and neck. But I’ll bet you could have figured that out on your own, huh?”Touch Down
Kevin: “It’s ergonomically designed, it has a whopping 16 speeds and 9 functions of vibration and pulsation. The four button controller is in the handle. So far so good.”
Gina: “But because it’s not waterproof, it’s tricky to clean. All you can do is wipe it down with mild soap and warm water for everyday clean up. To sanitize, like before sharing this toy, wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Of course you can only use a water-based lube with the U Touch Down. A silicone-based lube would mar the finish.”
Kevin: “The shape of the U Touch Down is very familiar. It looks very much like the LELO MONA, as well as at least a dozen other such toys we’ve seen online. I really, really liked the universal charger, it’s a 110V, 220V and USB compatible magnetic charger rolled into one. Which pretty much covers all the bases, if ya ask me.”
Gina: “The control panel looks easy enough to operate, but looks, as we all know, can be very deceiving. After fully charging the unit (a red light blinks on the charger while it charges) I tried to turn it on. Nothing happened. None of the buttons lit up; it simply wouldn’t turn on. I dug out the instruction manual, but discovered it didn’t apply to this particular vibe. That was weird. The instructions kept talking about inserting batteries. FRUSTRATED!”
Kevin: “I dug around in the little charger box and found a little slip of paper that apparently was added to the packaging as an afterthought. This bit of paper diagnosed the problem. The vibe was on lock-down mode. WHAT?  Is that so it doesn’t turn on accidentally, or what? Once we figured that out we had more success operating the U Touch Down. The control panel is neither intuitive nor easy to operate, and it is just so damn finicky.”
Gina: “Ya know that paper insert Kevin just mentioned, it says you turn on the vibe by pressing the plus and minus buttons simultaneously. However, the instructions on the packaging say you press the up and down buttons simultaneously. Sheesh! As it turned out, the up and down buttons are the correct ones.”
Kevin: “The U Touch Down delivers moderate vibrations in all the speeds and modes. This suggests to me that this vibe is geared toward someone who is just starting out with vibration, or who likes a more gentle sensation. However, someone used to a more intense vibration will, I think, be disappointed. It is pretty quiet though.”
Gina: “Ya know what I liked? I thought the packaging was quite lovely and very distinctive. And it’s made up of all recyclable materials. Despite the many promising features of the U Touch Down, I was disappointed with it, so much so that I can’t bring myself to recommend it.”
Kevin: “I feel the same way. I wanted to like this vibe more—it’s attractive, nicely shaped, and rechargeable—than I was able to. I felt like Topco was really on to something here, but then they just drop the ball. And that’s too bad, especially since it is retailing for over $130 on some sites. Holy shit!”

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The Hooded Nun

Hooded Nun —— $120

Christa
This review is pretty reminiscent of how I got started in this gig.

I was recruited to the Dr Dick Review Crew back in October 2008 and posted my first review then following month. Back then Dr Dick had three beautiful silicone insertables that he needed reviewed and none of the other Review Crew members would touch them. Our mutual friend, Joy, suggested I step up. I couldn’t get over it. I wrote back then: “…you’re just gonna fork over three totally bitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free. And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.”

Ever since then I’ve been the go-to gal for all the freaky stuff that comes to us for review. Enter today’s product. Here we have the stunning Hooded Nun, a glass insertable from Fucking Sculptures. Can ya stand it? And I got it because it has the word “nun” in the name. SCORE!

hooded-nun

This thing is so fuckin’ rad. Mine is black; so black it has a metallic, silver sheen to it. But it also comes in four other colors and two other sizes. So you pretty much get to customize your nun to suit yourself. Mine is the medium size, about 12” long from head to toe, which is plenty big for me. And it’s hefty as shit. Mine weighs in at nearly 2lbs. That’s not a dildo, that’s a fucking weapon!

This is my first glass toy. It looks and feels much different from the glass toys I’m used to seeing in my local sex toy emporium. The Hooded Nun is handcrafted of soda lime glass. And because all their products are handcrafted, no two are exactly alike. This is nothing short of fucking art.

The Hooded Nun is the ideal G-spot massager. And if you ask my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex, he’ll tell you it’s deadly in his ass and on his prostate. Alex is like this total ass whore. I’m the first girlfriend he ever let finger his hole and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time! I created a monster. But now I get to lay into him with Reverend Muther ova here and he couldn’t be happier.

The Hooded Nun is banana shaped; smooth on it’s dorsal side and ribbed on its belly. Its tail is a stylized pussy-shaped handle that makes maneuvering this big thing into place effortless. It’s also fantastic for doing my kegel exercises. I like to think of it as a barbell for my PC muscles.

You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.

And if that weren’t enough, you can chill and warm glass for superior sensation play.

Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning couldn’t be easier. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, since Alex and I are sharing the Hooded Nun, we sanitize it after each use by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

The Hooded Nun came wrapped in a hemmed piece of reclaimed fabric with a ribbon sewn on to it. Inside the wrap there was also a card with care and use instructions. It’s a beautiful presentation and would make a stunning gift.

If you’ve never had a glass toy and you want to give this amazing material a try, you can’t do better than a Fucking Sculptures.

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Curvy by Toyfriend

Curvy by Toyfriend —— $60.00

Ken & Denise
Denise: “I was so looking forward to playing with Curvy. I love the whimsical shape. It looks like a tiny teetering tower of yellow bubbles. And I loved our colleague, Jada’s review of her Toyfriend toy. But in the end, I was disappointed.”
Ken: “I was disappointed too. But I think we should tell our audience about it anyway, because I believe that the toy’s manufacturer is really on to something and Curvy might just be the perfect vibe for someone who has different needs than us.”curvy-toyfriend-vibrating
Denise: “Exactly! The best thing about Curvy is its shape; it’s bumpy and bright. It’s about 6″ tall with an insertable length of about 4.75″. The next best thing is it’s covered in a delicious skin of 100% medical grade, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. The third best thing is it’s waterproof.”
Ken: “Now, with all that going for it; you may be asking yourself, why were we disappointed. Simply put, it lacks the power we’re used to even with other battery operated vibes.”
Denise: “Despite having five vibration patterns, it never seems to kick into high gear. It teases and tickles more than it titillates. And I suppose that’s fine for some gals, but it’s not so fine for me.”
Ken: “A single button on the bottom of the toy controls the vibrations. Press it once to start the vibrations. Pressing additional times will move it through its five vibration patterns. To turn it off, hold the button down for two seconds. ”
Denise: “I also have a feeling that the curvy design of the Curvy is intended for G-spot stimulation. Herein lies another problem for me; it has no handle to speak of. So holding on to it and directing it to hit my G-spot, particularly with lube on my fingers, is difficult at best. I also wish it were a little longer, because it doesn’t quite reach the spot for me. But I realize that every woman’s anatomy is unique. So what works for some, might not work for others.”
Ken: “Some of the power problems might have to do with the fact it is battery operated and its silicone coat is pretty thick.”
Denise: “Speaking of battery powered, I want to point out the thoughtfulness of the Toyfriend people. They include the first set of 2-AAA batteries already installed in the Curvy. Hurray for that! So all you have to do is discard the little round paper ‘pastie’ that covers the batteries in the battery compartment and you’re ready to go.”
Ken: “The battery compartment is easy to access. The base of the toy unscrews easily and it is as easy to make a watertight seal when you are closing it.”
Denise: “Because it’s both waterproof and made of silicone cleanup couldn’t be easier. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. After you wipe it down rinse in warm water and let it air dry.”
Ken: “Be sure you only use a water-based lube with a fine silicone-skinned toy like this. A silicone-based lube will mar the finish.”
Denise: “It also comes with a Lucite stand to keep it upright between uses.”
Ken: “Honestly, if it only had a bit more power, we would’ve had no reservations about this cutie.”
Denise: “I feel the same way. But maybe Curvy is ideal for a first time vibe buyer or someone who likes a milder vibration. It really is so adorable.”

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Colibri by Ladygasm

Ladygasm Colibri —— $64.95

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Yikes! It’s already April and this is only our first review of the year. We haven’t been sloughing off. You have to believe me!”
Kevin: “It’s true, we haven’t been sloughing off. We’ve been slinging our tits in the line of duty. All our friends who know we review sex toys are insanely jealous. They think; what could be more fun? They think; all you have to do is get naked and have a ball. But reviewing sex toys is hard work, damnit!”Colibri01
Gina: “Yeah, you tell ‘em! All that nakedness! All that writhing around in orgasmic ecstasy! It’s exhausting, I tell you.”
Kevin: “So they’re not buying any of this, are they? OK then. Moving right along. What we have here is the Ladygasm Colibri. It is a delightful palmful of powerful orgasmic delivering joy.”
Gina: “It is so petite, I can cup it in my hand. I can nestle it between my forefinger and ringer with my middle finger riding on top. And it is the perfect shape for loving my entire vulva and especially my clit. The unique curved shape with it’s flexible duckbill make it ideal for massaging my breasts, nipples, and neck.”
Kevin: “I know the Colibri is ergonomically designed for female genitals, but I discovered that it works just as well on a man’s body — nipples, taint (perineum), cock and balls.”
Gina: “The Colibri is made from 100% medical-grade, nonporous, nontoxic, and hypoallergenic silicone. And it’s waterproof and rechargeable. And because it’s waterproof, it’s so very easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine, but you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize it for sharing. You can only use a water-based lube with adorable thing. A silicone-based lube would mar the finish.”
Kevin: “This mighty mite has four speeds and seven vibration modes. The control panel is a simple four-button affair. The on and off buttons also cycle through the modes and the + and – buttons adjust the speed. It’s not super quiet, but it’s not loud either. It sounds like an electric shaver.”
Gina: “If I have one quarrel with the Colibri it’s with the recharging port. It is pretty finicky. There is a small plug in the handle of the vibe. This covers the recharge port and makes the unit waterproof. All fine and good, but the plug that recharges it, that goes into the port doesn’t make a secure connection. The first time I charged the thing I didn’t realize a red light in the handle would illuminate if it was charging. So when I when to use it for the first time there was no charge. DISAPPOINTED! So I had to start over. The second time I noticed the red light. But like I said the thing is so finicky that if I adjusted the vibe even a little bit while it was charging, the light would go off indicating the connection was interrupted. But the crazy thing is the red light also goes off when the unit is fully charged. Super confusing!”colobri2
Kevin: “I discovered there’s a hands-free way to use the Colibri too. I simply pop it in my underwear positioning it so that the duckbill nuzzled my nuts and the wider part between my legs against my taint. I loved it.”
Gina: “I watched Kevin do this and I followed suit. I slipped the Colibri in my panties with the duckbill on my clit and the wider part between my labia. Delightful!”
Kevin: “The Colibri comes in very understated, but very nice black box. The packaging is completely recyclable. And it comes with its own drawstring storage pouch.”
Gina: “The Colibri’s diminutive size makes it easy to carry with you wherever you go.”
Kevin: “Yes, we love the size, shape and its power. We think you will too.”

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The Corkscrew

Corkscrew —— $120

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Where does the time go? It’s been over six months since out last review. But this isn’t the first time such an extended hiatus has occurred. Probably when you don’t hear from us for a while it’s because we’re out on the road. When life gets crazy, as it seems to do more frequently lately, Joy and I just hop in our RV and hit the road till we soothe our souls. You’ve heard of dykes on bikes, right? Well we’re dykes in a camper.”
Joy: “A glorified camper, mind you! We used to have this battered old pickup with a pop-top. But now we travel in style. We always meet the nicest people on the road. And on several occasions we’ve even introduced some of our sisters to the latest in sex toys. We like to think of ourselves are roving ambassadors of pleasure.”
Dixie: “We travel light, but not stupid. We always bring a toy or six with us, because, despite our destination, we never leave our libidos at home.”

corkscrew-580x290

Joy: “Even though our RV has a lot of the comforts of home, we think it’s wise to bring at least one toy that don’t involve a motor. And this is where the Corkscrew from Fucking Sculptures comes in. It is made of exquisite soda-lime glass. Honestly, I don’t know a lot about the different kinds of glass other than the fact that this hard and sleek material makes for the ideal insertable.”
Dixie: “We are very fond of glass. In fact, the Corkscrew is our fifth such dildo. At the same time, it is unlike all the others. For one thing, all our other glass insertables we have are clear or with colored swirls in them. They are stunning, of course, but the Corkscrew stands out because it is densely colored; so dense that light won’t penetrate it, except at its tail. Ours is this deep forest green. And here’s a very cool thing about all the fucking art from Fucking Sculptures; you get to choose between five colors and three sizes. That means they well like make one just for you, to your specifications. How cool is that?”
Joy: “And, because each and every one of their sculptures is handcrafted, you can be sure that the insertable you choose will be unique. No one else in the world will have one exactly like yours. That’s art! That’s fucking art! And if you treat your sculpture with the respect it deserves, like you would any fine adult toy, this beauty will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is practical as well as stunning. There are no batteries to run down, nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are. And just think of the bonus feature of it being perfect for sensory play. The Corkscrew can be chilled or warmed. Its hardness holds the temperature beautifully. And unless you’ve tried this kind of play, you have no idea the pleasure it can bring.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning are a snap. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, if you plan to share your glass toy, and they should be shared, I recommend sanitizing it by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. We even ran ours through a dishwasher cycle for no fuss, no muss cleanup.”
Dixie: “The Corkscrew we have is about 7” long with an up curled tail. It weighs in at a hefty 11.5 ounces. I think it’s the ideal toy for helping me with my kegel exercises. The entire insertable is a delicious swirl with its head being about 1.5” in diameter. The curled tail makes it easy to position for intense G-spot stimulation.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our male friends that the Corkscrew makes a wonderful ass play toy too. Your P-spot will thank you. And you’ll never have to worry about it disappearing up your poop-chute; its tail will prevent that.”
Dixie: “You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.”
Joy: “Remember, the Corkscrew is art, so there’s no need to hide this beauty when it’s not in use. When we’re home it sits proudly on our mantle piece.”
Dixie: “Our Corkscrew came a lovely, hemmed piece of fabric with a ribbon sewn on to it, similar to a roll-up cloth that would contain paint brushes. The fabric is up-cycled or reclaimed material and hand sewn by the Fucking Sculptures team. Classy! There is no box. Inside the wrap there was also a card with care and use instructions.
Joy: “We LOVE our awesome Corkscrew! We both highly recommend this insertable and we think it would make an ideal gift for someone very special.”

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Coney by Toyfriend

Coney by Toyfriend —— $47.06

Jada
I’m back for yet another year of reviewing with the Dr Dick Review Crew. I joined this effort back in August of 2008 on a bit of a fluke. I never thought that I’d continue beyond my first review, which I did as a favor to Richard.

Over the years I’ve learned so much about the adult products industry. And it’s been quite an education, let me tell you. I’ve had the dubious pleasure of reviewing some remarkably crummy stuff, but I’ve also reviewed products that I continue to use year after year. I was even lucky enough to review one of The 10 Best Products of 2012. coney

Not too long ago a woman friend from work confided in me that she was considering buying a vibrator. It was to be her first sex toy. She was absolutely flabbergasted when I launched into my spiel about what to look for and what to avoid. I guess I forgot myself for a moment, because when I stopped blabbing I could see the astonishment in her face. “How do you know so much about this?” She asked. I wasn’t about to blow my cover, so I just shrugged my shoulders a bit and told her I read a lot of women’s magazines. Afterward, I felt a little sad that I couldn’t, or more likely wouldn’t, tell her about this review gig.

Anyway, this brings me to today product, a sweet and somewhat comical vibe from a new toy company called Toyfriend. It’s name is Coney.

Had I the presence of mind, when I was talking to my friend about what to look for in a vibrator, I would have said, “You ought to take a look at the Coney. It’s a really good beginner’s vibe.” It has a lot of the features that I think are important in a personal vibrator. Chiefly among them is it’s make of high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypo-allergenic silicone. Second, it’s waterproof. Third, it’s moderately priced.

So let’s take a closer look at Coney, shall we? The first thing I noticed was its whimsical shape. It has two long ears that are perfect for teasing and tickling your clit and nipples. When I first open the modest packaging I thought this has got to be some kind of gag novelty toy. The marketplace is flooded with such things. But once I put it through its paces I realized my first impression was wrong. There is nothing cheap or crummy about the Coney.

The vibe is battery operated. I generally prefer a vibe that is rechargeable, but I see where sometimes that’s not a practical option. The Toyfriend people thoughtfully included the first set of two AAA batteries with the toy. Thank you, Toyfriend. That little kindness sets you apart from just about all your other competitors.

The vibrations are of moderate strength; this is not going to knock your socks off. That’s why I call it a teaser and tickler. It’ll help get your motor started, so to speak.

The Coney looks like a stylized rabbit. I already mentioned the elongated ears. The surface of the vibe is silky smooth to the touch. The toy is well constructed; I would say it has to be since it is waterproof. The battery compartment is easy to get to and easy to unscrew. No wear and tear on tired or arthritic hands. It also comes with a Lucite stand to keep it upright between uses. It is so charming!coney-2

A single button on the bottom of the toy controls the vibrations. Press it once to start the vibrations. Pressing additional times will move it through its five vibration patterns. To turn it off, hold the button down for two seconds.

The beauty part of the Coney is you can sanitize it for sharing. That’s because it’s both waterproof and silicone. So to test the limits of what this toy could handle, I tried dropping it in a pot of boiling water for a minute. And I tested it in the dishwasher too. I just needed to make sure the battery compartment is screwed on tightly before hand. The Coney came through each test with flying colors. However, mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

I don’t have to remind you that you can only use a water-based lube with a fine silicone toy like this, do I? Good!

You can tell I really like my Coney; and I think you will too. I notice that ToyFriend has a full line of sweet vibes to choose from. Who knows, maybe another one will come my way one of these days. I sure hope so.