Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her

Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her, Luster Black $19.99

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “I love the design of the Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her.  It’s shiny, it’s sleek, and I even liked the hard plastic.  Sometimes I’m in the mood for something hard, if ya know what I mean.  Unfortunately, I can’t say much for its performance.”
Jack:  “It’s waterproof; you got to give it that.”
Karen:  “Yes, that’s what it says.  It’s also supposed to have a 5-speed vibrator that is controlled by a single button in the handle.  I installed 2 AAA batteries (I had to use my own, because no batteries were included in the package).
Nothing I did make the vibe go through its paces.  Pushing the button once got it going all right; nice vibration too.  Pushing it again stopped the blasted thing.  Pushing it a third time started it up again, but I couldn’t tell if it had changed speeds.  I kept pushing the button never getting the same results twice.  What, is this rocket science?”
Jack:  “I could see she was having a problem, so I asked if I could take a look at it.  I guess she was slightly more frustrated than I thought, because she flung the vibe in my direction.”
Karen:  “Yeah, sorry about that.  I don’t know why I let it get under my skin like that.  I can tell you I would have been hoppin’ mad had I actually plunked down good money for this thing only to find, when I got it home, that it didn’t perform as advertised.”
Jack:  “I guess there’s a lesson here for us all.  If you’re paying less then 20 bucks for a molded plastic toy you’re liable to be disappointed.  I mean, think about it.  Maybe the old adage; ‘you get what you pay for’ applies in this instance.”
Karen:  “We never even got around to testing it’s advertised waterproof capability.  Oh well…”
Jack:  “Moving right along.”