Squirmy Touch-Me, Lavender $24.99
Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Squirmy Touch-Me.
Glenn: “Hey, ya wanna see my pink penis?”
Hank: “Actually, it’s lavender, dude; not pink.”
Glenn: “Oh, ok! Hey, ya wanna see my lavender penis?”
Hank: “Why are you always so wacky?”
Glenn: “Ahhh, because god made me that way? Besides, were talking about toys, aren’t we? That call for a little levity, right?” 😉
Hank: “Alright then, let’s have it your way. So Glenn, why don’t you show us your pretty new lavender penis.”
Glenn: “Maybe I will. Squirmy Touch-Me is 8 1/2 inch of vibrating cock. It even looks like a cock. And when I’m buggerin’ myself, or having someone else cornholein’ me; I like the weapon of ass-destruction to look like a cock, OK? I’m old fashioned that way. If you don’t like your toys to look like a wang; that’s fine with me. But I do; so there! And check this out; Squirmy Touch-Me has a flexible shaft that bends then holds its shape. I absolutely love it!”
Hank: “Squirmy Touch-Me has this very interesting articulated spine so that the vibrating tip reaches your prostate (or G-spot) each and every time. Then it does a little dance that’ll really put a smile on your face.”
Glenn: “It has the same Ultra-Gelle skin, as the product Angie showed you earlier. I like the feel of it in my hands, but even more so up my ass.”
Hank: “The same cleaning instructions that Angie gave you apply to the Squirmy Touch-Me, so I won’t repeat them. But I do want to emphasize the water-based lube precaution. You wouldn’t want to mess up this toy with a silicone-based or oil-based lube.”
Glenn: “It’s waterproof, which I really love. Rammin’ this baby home in the shower in the morning makes the perfect start to each and every day. Oh, and it two speeds — yummy and even more yummier.”
Hank: “We want to second what Angie said about the batteries. When we’re faced with a choice of toys of equal worth; one with batteries in the package and one without; we always choose the one with batteries. We want to support the companies who go the extra mile.”
Glenn: “Considering the price of this puppy, it’s a great starter vibrating dildo for anyone lookin for a little Jelle fun.”
ENJOY!