WhackSock

Sex Fans, The Dr Dick Review Crew has something totally wacky for ya today.  It’s a WhackSock!  Say WHAT?  You heard me; a WhackSock.  It’s a sock ya wear on your cock when ya wank. How fun is that?  I guess it’s intended to keep your spooge off the furniture, don’t’ cha know.

This week’s Review Crew:

  • Glenn & Hank

WhackSock 6 pack        $9.99

Glenn:  “I got this huge smile on my face today, because I had a flashback to when I was a kid.  I started masturbating when I was 11, but nothing came out till I was almost 13.  Before I was able to ejaculate I could cum multiple time in one session.  But once I started to shoot a wad when I wanked I could only cum once per session.  Actually, I only had to wait a few minutes before I could resume my diddling.”
Hank:  “I think they call that the ‘refactory period’.  It’s part of a male’s sexual response cycle.”
Glenn:  “Yeah, I know that!  So as I was saying, before Professor Bingo over here interrupted me, I was surprised as all get out when I shot my first spunk.  I thought I had injured myself.  Since I was totally unprepared for the eruption I had to do something with the evidence ASAP.  My mother would soon round the corner and come barging into my room.”
Hank:  “Did she bust you spankin’ the monkey?”
Glenn:  “Not that time, I’m happy to say!  It took some quick thinkin on my part.  But I label_low_20rez_1_-276x350discovered that ya could hide your boy juice in a dirty sock, and your old lady wouldn’t be the wiser.”
Hank:  “Damn, you’re clever!  I’d be willing to bet the just about every guy on the planet has dropped a load into a sock at one point or another.”
Glenn:  “Yeah, it’s probably something in our DNA, huh?  So anyway, that’s why I had to laugh when Dr Dick asked us to review the
WhackSock.  My masturbation-obsessed youth came flooding back to me.”
Hank:  “I know, I used to discard the socks I busted a nut in.  I was afraid my mom would find me out.  This, of course, backfired one day when my ever-vigilant mother uncovered a tangle of crusty socks in the trash.  It didn’t take her long to put two and two together.  This precipitated the big ‘sex talk’ with mommy that make my skin crawl.  I was also marched off to confession to tell the priest about my disgusting and sinful behavior.”
Glenn:  “I’ll bet the priest got off on that, huh?”
Hank:  “Probably!  I was a strappin’ young lad of over 6’ tall with ragin’ hormones and an unruly big dick.  I was hung over 8” when I was just 15. It was so embarrassing, because I used to pop wood at the drop of a hat.  I though having a big, precum drippon’ dick was a curse.”
Glenn:  “Glad you got over that, cuz I love your one-eyed monster.  But we digress!  Let’s get whacksockback to the WhackSock. It’s a specifically designed cottony sock made for male masturbation.  At least that’s what it says on the
WhackSock site.”
Hank:  “Yep, it’s basically a tubesox; no bigger than what a young kid might wear on his feet.  But it does stretch.”
Glenn:  “And that’s where the fun began for us.  Hank and I went to a costume party last month and our costumes consisted of a
WhackSock and nothing more.  Hank’s trouser snake was the life of the party, literally and figuratively.”
Hank:  “The stretchy cotton material could barely contain my johnson, so to speak.”
Glenn:  “And it was all over when he got a boner!  I loved it.  I got to tell everyone that I am the lucky man that gets to have that hog up my ass whenever I want it.  Tell me that didn’t make me the envy of all the queens at the party.”
Hank:  “When we got home from the party, we both blissfully beat off into our
WhackSock, just like god intended.”
Glenn:  “The
WhackSock makes the perfect gag gift.  Imagine how this little number will crack up the party.  And you know for certain that there will always be at least one dude in the crowd that will want to put it on his pecker, right then and there.  Or you could get a bunch of WhackSocks and have a WhackSock party.  All attendees must wear a WhackSock and nuttin’ else.  It’ll be a freakin’ orgy in no time at all.”
Hank:  “And it feels real good goin up and down my shaft.  It’s almost like having a lubed hand.  And your
WhackSock is like totally reusable.  It’s like having a form-fitting trick towel.”
Glenn:  “Be the first one on your block to own a pair (or 6) of these.”

ENJOY

Fleshlight, FleshJack

FleshJack Ice—— $69.95

So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good things come to those who wait”.

Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years.  And because of that I convinced myself I knewproduct_aajack_440.jpg everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?

Well, so much for baseless assumptions.

Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.

My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!

icejack_tommyd.jpgThe first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.

The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.

And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.

I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)

Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight!

When the end cap is sealed tightly, it’s a lot more difficult to plug in your pud…even with loads of lube and a major stiffy. I found that if I loosened the cap, just until I got situated, as it were; I could then tighten the cap to make for a swell little vacuum sensation. Very nice! I wonder if that was intended in the design, or simply is a happy accident?

By the way, you should only use a water-based lube with your Fleshlight. And clean up is a snap. A little soap and water will do the trick. Here’s a tip: once the insert is dry, dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch based body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.

sensationarea_optb.jpg

I always like to take my time with a new toy. Ya know, to get a sense of how the thing works and feels. This was particularly the way to go with the Fleshlight. Masturbating with one of these puppies has several advantages to your basic hand job. First, there is a delightful silkiness, and a tight consistent pressure on your cock throughout each stroke. In this regard — and despite the claims made by the Fleshlight marketing department — pluggin’ a Fleshlight is very different than pluggin’ any human orifice I know. But that’s not a bad thing, mind you. Consider the guy who is dealing with premature ejaculation, for example. I’m positive that if he used a Fleshlight to train himself to last longer, he’d have way more success than if he just used his hand. This is an ideal device to practice delaying one’s orgasm, which will make you a much better lover. And you can bank on that!

Remember I mentioned the heft of the Fleshlight? I want to get back to that now. Because the unit is heavier then other masturbators, one can actually fuck it, as well as have it fuck you. Here’s what I mean. If you’re lying on your back, and you’re using your hand (or hands) to pump the Fleshlight up and down your rod; it’s basically fuckin’ you, right? I discovered that if I tilted the Fleshlight a bit, up, down or to one side or another, I was able to stimulate different areas of my cock. Using a corkscrew motion was way wonderful too.

Now, if you stick the Fleshlight between your mattress and box spring, for example, then you can fuck it. I really got off on doing deep thrusts this way. And because of the ingenious bulbous head of the Superskin™ insert there’s no way I could injure myself on the hard plastic case with those deep hard manly thrusts. 😉

One final thing, ya’ll know I’m a real big advocate of partners masturbating together. There is just so much one can learn by watching a partner pleasure him/herself. The Fleshlight is the perfect male masturbator for this purpose. It’s playful and non-threatening, so it will be easier to get your partner to join in the fun and learn about your sexual response all at the same time.

ENJOY