Power Stroker

COLT Power Stroker —— $16.02

Kevin
The masturbator I got is called the COLT Power Stroker. It’s a pint-sized thing that looks like a hand grenade. I’m serious! I mean what marketing genius came up with this concept? I just shook my head in disbelief.

Ok, I won’t hold the shape against it. To each his own, right? But I think I do have a legitimate quarrel with the size. It’s so small! It’s not even 5” tall. I’m not hung like a horse or anything, but common on! This means the only part of your dick that will get massaged with this thing is the tip.

The grenade shape does have one advantage; it’s easy to hold on to. The ridges on the shaft and the notch at the base make for a firm grip even with lubed hands.

The packaging says the Power Stroker is super tight, yet stretchy. Both of those claims are true, especially the super tight claim. Like I said, I have a normal sized dick, but the Power Stroker was difficult for me to invade…to continue the war metaphor.

The packaging also says that the Power Stroker is made of a NEW Futurotic Material. WHAT? Another marking ploy, I guess. I actually took the time to look this up online. Apparently this material contains latex and phthalates. Let’s face it; you can’t have something this soft and squishy without phthalates. So if you can’t do with out soft and squishy, then live with the consequences. But you should know that phthalates are a potential hazard to your reproductive health.

The Power Stroker didn’t have much of a chemical smell. It also came with it’s own little container of powder to dust it with after cleaning. This is a very thoughtful addition. Because if you don’t dust it with powder after cleaning the NEW Futurotic Material gets really tacky and can actually start to break down. This gets me to another point; don’t store this, or any jelly latex toy near another such toy. There will be a chemical reaction that will melt them both. Scary stuff, right?

As far as my jerkoff session with the Power Stroker goes; it was fine. I used water-based lube for easier insertion. But frankly I’m convinced my hand works better. I have all kinds of different strokes available to me with my hands. The Power Stroker, on the other hand, allows for only an up and down motion. Some guys get off on that alone, I prefer a little more variety when I’m spanking the monkey.

I’m ambivalent about recommending the Power Stroker. It does what it claims to do, so maybe that ought to be the last word.

This sex toy review sponsored by Adult Sex Toys: over 8,000 sex toys and adult toys to choose from.

Head Honcho

Sue Johanson Head Honcho —— $13.97

Jack
I’m up first today with the Head Honcho, a sex toy endorsed by sex educator and host of television’s Sex Talk With Sue Johanson. This thing is supposed to mimic a blowjob. Well, I’ve had my share of hummers and the Head Honcho doesn’t come close to a blowjob.

One thing I want to point out from the start. The Adult Sex Toys .com says that the Head Honcho is made of silicone. But it is not silicone. That’s gotta be a typo, because it is really made of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), or so says the packaging. Actually, when I first pulled it out of the box I thought for sure it was jelly latex. Hey, maybe there’s no difference between the two.

At any rate, this mystery material surely contain latex and phthalates; I looked it up online. And for me phthalates are a no no. That’s strike 1! It has a cloying chemical smell, which also kinda smells like cherry Kool-Aid. Ick! Dr Dick calls off gas. This was a boner killer let me tell ya. This is strike 2.

I decided to wash it to rid it of some of the smell. The bath helped, but then the Head Honcho got all sticky. I tried to dry it off with a towel, but that made matters worse. It got all linty and gross. This was strike 3. I was about to skip the whole damn thing when I called Dr Dick for advice. He told me to let it completely air dry then dust it with body powder or cornstarch. This was supposed to cut down on the stickiness. This intervention sorta saved the day.

With all that prep work behind me I finally settled down to some hot porn, some nice water based lube and the considerably less tacky Head Honcho. Because the masturbator is so soft and floppy, it was hard to plug my cock into the mouth-shaped aperture in the front of the toy. Besides that, the hole isn’t very big and I’m pretty hung, so there’s that. Strike 4!

Once I finally got it on my cock I could feel the suction chambers in the neck of the toy. That was kinda cool. But again something happened that killed my boner. There is no bottom or closed base to this thing. And before I knew it the lube I used in the Head Honcho to pave the way for my cock began to dribble out the base. Ok, so that was my fault, not the fault of the toy. But damn, that sure as hell wrecked the moment.

I did finally finish myself off this one time with the Head Honcho. It was a pretty ok nut. But considering the work I had to do just to squeeze one out, it hardly seems worth the effort.

I did the necessary clean up — soap and water, air dry, body powder — after I shot my load. Then I just put the Head Honcho back in the plastic bag it came in and hid it in the back of a drawer. I don’t see me using this ever again.

Bummer!

This sex toy review sponsored by Adult Sex Toys: over 8,000 sex toys and adult toys to choose from.

Cyberskin Pocket Pussy

Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99

Ken
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat.  Oh wait, he did!  What luck for us!

I generally jerk off a couple of times a day.  This amazes my partner, Denise.  She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know.  I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid.  Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.pocket-pussy-4-TOH25056

Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve.  Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother?  Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.

This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind.  This stuff rocks!  It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too.  They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.

The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you.  This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes.  But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.

When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me.  I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf.  Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing.  And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it.  The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.

I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin.  Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.

The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help.  However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother.  I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock.  I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that.  It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.

So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome.  Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.

Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied.  But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair.  I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.

So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out.  I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up.  This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned.  Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out.  Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.

Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry.  I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing.  DAMN!  After that, I decided to just let it air dry.

Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky.  I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.”  But what the fuck is “Renew”?  I looked on the Topco website and couldn’t find anything.  Luckily, Dr Dick told me a little secret.  Lightly dust with body powder or cornstarch to eliminate any stickiness.  Then you have to store it in a plastic bag to keep it fresh.

I loved the feel of the Cyberskin on my dick; I think you will too.  Fuckin it was a blast.  But I will save this toy for special jerk off occasions, because the cleanup is so labor and time intensive.

Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve

Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve —— $14.43

Carlos
I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11.  I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men.  It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.

I’m pretty much a manual masturbator.  I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself.  But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about.  Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve.  I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.

The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product.  It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to.  I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions.  And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.

When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing.  It’s VSI1turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it.  Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.

The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it.  And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect.  So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis.  I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin.  Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head.  It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock.  But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.

The other end of the Sidekick is closed.  That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice.  Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis.  This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles.  I loved it!

There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that.  Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all.  This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands.  I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing.  The other issue is the size.  It’s only 5.5” long.  Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.

You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean.  Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry.  I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky.  So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch.  Oh and you have to store it in a plastic bag, or something like that.  You don’t want it to get dirty or linty when it’s just lying around.

I really like my Sidekick.  It would make a great stocking stuffer for any guy, especially one who admits to pleasuring himself.

Sex In A Can by Fleshlight

There’s something brand-spankin new goin on at Fleshlight.   Here’s Brad to tell us all about it.

Sex In A Can:  Spread Eagle Brew —— $39.95

The Fleshlight company has been around for a lone time.  They make the legendary Fleshlight and Fleshjack.  I’m the proud owner of my very own Fleshlight; it is my go-to toy for spankin the monkey.  I never get tired of my Fleshlight and I wouldn’t give it up for the world.  That’s way I wanted to review their new product:  Sex In A Can.large_1759

I am of the mind that foolin’ around with or trying to improve on a great product, an icon even, will sure enough just fuck things up.  I just couldn’t see why the Fleshlight people were tempting fate by bring out Sex In A Can.  But I promised Dr Dick that I would set aside my preconceived ideas and approach this new product with an open mind.

Damn!  I’ll be the first to admit, I was totally off base in thinking the iconic Fleshlight couldn’t be improved upon.  Wait, improved is not the word I’m looking for, because Sex In A Can doesn’t really improve on the original design, it just gives the consumer yet another option.

Those of you familiar with Fleshlight will know that every customer can pretty much customize every aspect of the unit he wants to buy.  They have several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral”. The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. The insert comes in different colors, and there are several different internal contours for the insert itself.

Sex In A Can is basically just another option in terms of size and shape.  Here’s what I mean. Sex In A Can is shaped like a tallboy beer, instead of the traditional oversized Fleshlight shape.  It is lighter, more compact, less expensive, yet it has all the features of its big brothers.

There are three brand new “orifice” options — two different pussies (Mmmm, pussies!) and a mouth.  Three new insert contours too.  Everything else — including the patented Superskin insert remains the same. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a tallboy beer, has removable caps at both ends, as does the Fleshlight. The top cap covers the head of the insert and keeps it clean when your dick’s not in it.  The end cap can also be removed for easy cleaning.

Just like the Fleshlight, ya gotta loosen the end cap a bit before you attempt to stick in your dick.  Sex In A Can is a whole lot tighter than my stalwart Fleshlight.  In fact, bein the hefty-cock brother I am, it was a very tight squeeze.  I had to use a shitload of lube just to get me started. Oh, and by the way, you can only use water-based lube with all the Fleshlight Superskin products.  Here’s a tip:  you adjust the suction created inside Sex In A Can by either loosening or tightening the base cap.

Clean up is a super-easy. A little soap and water will do the trick.  But once the insert is dry, you have to dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch, or body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.

My Sex In A Can:  Spread Eagle Brew, came with the Pink Spread Lady orifice; (Mmmm, pussies!) mini vortex insert; the cleverly designed beer can case; and sample packet of lube.

I like to soak my Superskin insert in warm water before I begin my stroke session.  This makes the already flesh-like insert even more life-like. It’s totally awesome; it feels like the real thing.

One thing you should be aware of.  There’s an off-gas that come from Sex In A Can when you first open it.  This, I’m sorry to say, is an unfortunate by-product of manufacturing super soft rubbery things like the insert.  It’s kind of like the same smell you get with a new carpet.  Just let it air out for a while before you use it.  Or you can just go ahead and wash the whole blasted thing before ya use, like I did.  Which is a good practice for any new sex toy.

There’s no gettin around it,Sex In A Can is great.

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Beer Babe Vagina

Beer Babe Vagina Precious Pink                $20.94

Chuck

This here is the Beer Babe Vagina in what they call Precious Pink.  It also comes in, god help us, Raunchy Red.

I’m gay!  So right off the bat, the promotional pitch for this product didn’t appeal to me.  Seems to me Synergy SYN1700002_1Erotic is needlessly eliminating a whole bunch of potential queer customers with this approach, but that’s just me.  I do love a good masturbating sleeve.  So even if it looks like a cunt, I won’t hold that against it.  I mean once I get goin, I’m not gonna notice the configuration of the orifice.

The Beer Babe gets high marks for creativity.  I mean besides it looking like a bottle of beer, the copy on the label is a hoot.  “Superb Jackability” on the front.  And on the back:  “Prolonged use of this item may cause pleasure, stimulation and finally ejaculation!  Use of suitable water-based lubricants and appropriate visual ages is highly recommended.  Deposit Required!”

It says that it’s 9” fleshy inches.  But that’s simply not true.  The whole bottle is 9 inches. And no one’s dick, least of all mine, would fit in the bottle’s neck.  Besides, the “fleshy” insert is only 6 inches.  And while that might suit most guys; if you got anything over a 6 inch boner, the head of your dick is gonna get jammed up against the tapering neck of the bottle.  OUCH!

Vigorous thrusting, the kind I like, will also dislodge the fleshy insert from the hard plastic bottle.  This is frustrating in the extreme.

When I first took this thing from its packaging and opened the base to look inside, a wave of noxious fumes came from within.  WTF?  I mentioned this to Dr Dick and he said that’s called off-gas.  Which is a nasty by-product of manufacturing. I wasn’t about to stick my dick in there till I eliminated the smell. I soaked the entire unit, inside and out, in hot soapy water first, to rid it of the smell.

After only one attempt at squeezing one off with the Beer Babe ; I gave up.  Like I said, the insert kept separating from the bottle shaped holder.

Imagine if this company invested more money into making a better product, one that actually worked, lasted and manufactured it with materials that didn’t smell bad.  Like I said, I love a good masturbation sleeve.  I’d happily pay good money for a quality product.  In fact I have!  I am the proud owner of two Fleshlights.  Now there’s a good product!