Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Magic Massager —12 Function, 3 Attachments —— $46.30

Joy
Can you believe it’s 2010 already? I’ve been a Review Crew member for two and a half years. And in that time I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to a load of great products, but also some not so great as well.

Today’s review falls squarely into the great product category. I want to tell you about the Magic Massager from Blush Novelties. This thing is phenomenal. It’s a mini-wand type of vibrator; it’s only about 8 inches long from tip to tail. It’s powered by 4 AA batteries (not included in the package).

One would expect a diminutive vibe like this to carry only 2 AA batteries, right? Well, maybe it’s the two extra batteries, but whatever it is this thing is the strongest vibrator, per inch, I have ever used. It rocks my world, baby!

It features a 12-mode vibration system with a LED control panel. Can ya stand it? I mean, come on; that’s freakin overkill, ain’t it? Honestly, the first time I had the Magic Massagerworking its …ahhh magic on my girly parts, I couldn’t honestly say I got beyond the first 5 modes before I got off TWICE! It’s that great. When I took the time to investigate all the modes, I was able to distinguish between all the vibration functions. There’s this one, #9 I think, that is totally crazy. It feels like the thing is running out of power and just when you think it’s gonna die it come roaring back to life. Loved it! And even when the Magic Massager is rockin out, it’s pretty quiet.

One thing to note, the user has to cycle through all of the modes to get to the one she likes the best. But there is an off button that stops the vibe altogether, which is much appreciated.

The Magic Massager comes with 3 soft and pliable attachments — a dome shape, a flat grooved shape and a beaded shape. The beaded shape is my favorite. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the package about what the attachments are made of. I am pretty sure it’s not silicone. I used a silicone-based lube with it and it appears to be fine. (Note to manufacturer: it’s always a good idea to include information on the materials used in producing the toy. This helps the consumer make an educated decision on if it is right for her/him.)

Besides the vibrating functions and the three attachments, this puppy is waterproof. And anyone who follows my reviews knows I’m all about bringing toys to the bath.

The battery compartment is a bitch to open. I struggled with it till I almost gave up. And you must sure to replace the little clear O-ring properly, or the vibe will not be waterproof.

This is a unisex toy. Boys as well as girls will really have a ball with this. You’ll be hard pressed to find a more powerful and versatile vibe at this low price. It comes in very nice, yet modest packaging. Get one today!

Eve’s Rabbit —— $43.00

Christa

Eve’s Rabbit is freakin wild! It is11 inches long; there’s not one single thing that’s sleek, stylish or girly about it. It weighs in at a hefty 1.5lbs, when loaded with the four AA batteries you need to power this behemoth. (The batteries are not included; so there’s that.) And damn, if this thing doesn’t do everything but mow the lawn. I mean Eve’s Rabbit is a serious industrial strength vibe.

When I want to get off in a hurry, I always choose a rabbit vibe. I need clit stimulation, or fugetaboutit! When I’m gettin my self off with just my hands, I always finger my cunt as I rub my clit. Eve’s Rabbit allows me to fuck myself and get the clit flutter action I desire all at the same time. And get this; there are 4 rotating speeds and 7 vibrating speeds and they work independent of one another, which is kinda cool. It also has a simple on/off switch that brings the thing to rest without having to cycle through all the speed options. I like that.

The control panel is pretty straight forward — on/off button; vibe pattern button and independent speed buttons for increasing and decreasing the speed. The insertable shaft is made of a translucent jelly type of material. In the past, I’ve tended to avoid jelly like materials because of phthalates. But the Eve’s Rabbit package says it’s phthalate free; latex free too. So I guess we’ll just have to trust them on that.

When this thing is chugin away; it’s none too quiet. But considering all that it is doing — rotating and vibrating — you can’t very well expect different. I know some women don’t care for a realistic looking dickhead on their insertables. If you are one such woman, this baby is not for you. For the rest of us who get off on the natural design of things Eve’s Rabbit will satisfy.

Eve’s Rabbit is not waterproof. I clean mine with a lint free cloth and mild soap and warm water.

Looking for a no-nonsense workhorse vibrator that will knock you socks off? Eve’s Rabbit is right for you. If you are looking for subtle, delicate and ladylike you’ll need to look elsewhere.

The Cone —— $129.00

Guess what, sex fans? I am the proud owner of my very own The Cone. And oh jeez, my life is never gonna be the same.

I am now the envy of all my friends — both the male and female variety — since the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived on my doorstep. (Actually the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived encased in a nondescript brown cardboard box, but you get the idea, right?)

I purposely left the shocking pink cone shaped object sitting nonchalantly on my desk for the past 10 days. Without fail it caught the eye of everyone who passed through Dr Dick’s office/salon/café/crash pad. “What the hell is that?” You’re kidding!” Really? “Get outta here!” “Oh My God, can I try it?” And so it went day after day.

I fond myself repeating the mantra — “It’s an innovative sex toy! – It’s pop art! – It’s my new BFF! — It’s three things in one!”

My hat is off to the developers of this unique unisex toy. You can tell right away that the folks who created this little wonder have a profound appreciation for sexual pleasure, as well as a joyful sense of playful fun. This kind of synergy can and apparently does turn the sex toy industry on its head. Bravo!

Ok, so what exactly is The Cone? Primarily, it is a hands-free battery-operated vibrator, don’t cha know. And that, sex fans, allows you to be pretty gal-darn creative in how you use the bugger. In fact, its unique design practically begs you to come up with clever new use or two every time you use it. I know of what I speak! I came up with one really good one. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

It has a sixteen-function 3000-rpm gold brush motor. It is both powerful and quiet. (Believe me, once you have at this thing, you will be making all the noise, not it.) It has a soft high-quality pink silicone skin. Its about seven inches in diameter at the base, five inches high, and weighs just over a pound. It has two push button controls. Simply put, there is nothing discreet about it, folks! Everything about it screams: “I’m here. I’m pink. Get used to it!

The Cone requires 3 “C” batteries. Unfortunately, the first set of batteries is not included in the package. I tell you this because I don’t want you to get all bummed out when you whip it out, for the first time, hoping to hop on for a ride only to discover you don’t have the proper batteries on hand.

Even though this isn’t an insertable device (That is, unless your hole looks like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.), you’ll want to use a good personal lube to keep The Cone’s silicone skin from chafing your naughty parts. Just make sure you use a non-silicone lube though, or you’ll ruin the blasted thing.

Like I said, The Cone has sixteen different vibrating programs — from mild to “Whoa Nelly! I suggest you take your time and cycle through the different vibe patterns to find the ones you like best. Here’s a tip: the on/off switch doubles as an ‘Instant Orgasm’ button, which revs the thing up to fever pitch in an instant. This is apparently for all those folks out there who are just too damned busy to cum like a normal person.

For the uninitiated, the pointy cone shape may be intimidating. But relax there’s no need to worry; The Cone’s peak is soft and spongy. It’s sorta the consistency of a very stiff dick. You can sit on this baby, lean on it, lie on it or plop it in your lap. You can use it alone, or with a partner. Just don’t be surprised if your partner tries to monopolize The Cone. If you have girl parts, The Cone is ideal for your pussy, clit and taint (perineum). If you have boy parts, The Cone is perfect for your cock, balls and taint. And everyone’s asshole will sing for joy when The Cone comes knockin’ at the back door.

The Cone’s silicone skin is nonporous, which means bacteria cannot penetrate it. That makes it a breeze to clean. Just wipe it down with a mild soap and warm water after each use. To sterilize — remove the silicone skin from the unit and swish it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Of course when you replace the skin, ya gotta realign it on the unit properly or you will not be able to find the operating buttons. But whatever you do, don’t immerse The Cone itself in water.

Ok, so The Cone is decidedly pricey. I’ll grant you that. But you know this thing is gonna last. And I’m a firm believer in buyin’ quality right from the get-go. In fact, if we consumers only patronized conscientious manufacturers of quality products, like The Cone; there’d be a lot less crap in the marketplace.

There are a couple or other interesting things I want to mention. First, every person — man, woman, whatever — who chatted me up about The Cone over the last 10 days said the same thing. “Does it come in other colors?” Now I know how trendy pink is these days, but for a lot of people it just won’t do. (It probably clashes with the flocked wallpaper in their dungeon.) I invite the manufacturer to consider what a hot button issue color is for most people. In fact, in many instances, it’s a deal breaker. If there were a skin color option, I suspect sales would double, or even triple.

Finally, to demonstrate the versatility of The Cone I want you to know that when I had a splitting headache the other day, I lay down and rested the base of my skull on the tip of The Cone. I put the vibe on gentle, and in no time at all, my headache was history.

The Cone is sure to be included in Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Hall of Fame.

ENJOY

Love Connection —— $24.33

Joy
My partner, Dixie, and I each got a Doc Johnson toy to review.  Dixie posted her Wish-Bone Vibe review two weeks ago.  I got the equally cute, Love Connection to review.

This sweet little multi-speed vibe is actually two vibes in one.  There are two different silicone attachments that you screw on to the hard plastic base.  I’ve used other vibes that offered attachments, but I was disappointed to discover that I couldn’t count on the attachment staying in place during use.  The Love Connection is different.  The two attachments actually screw on to the handle, so there’s no chance the thing will come off when you’re using it.

But the best thing about this little wonder is that it’s waterproof.  There’s nothing that satisfies like a vibe in the bath.  There is a one touch fingertip control button on the base of the handle that allows you to cycle through the three speeds.  This is not a powerhouse vibe, but you wouldn’t expect it to be, being such a cute little thing.  But it gets the job done.

This would make the ideal vibe for travel.  It’s discreet, and it’s quiet.  The Love Connection runs on 2 AAA batteries.  Unfortunately, they are not included in the package.

Looking for a sweet little stocking stuffer for the naughty gal on your list?  You can’t go wrong with the Love Connection.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Wish-Bone Vibrator ——  $25.50

Dixie
I’m doing a solo review today.  My partner, Joy, is working on another review for later in this series.

I have something no nonsense to show you this time around.  It’s about as simple and straightforward as you can get.  It’s the Wish-Bone Vibrator.

I’ve used a lot of vibes in my day.  I think I own nearly two-dozen of them.  Some I’ve used a couple of times and that’s it; I never touch them again.  Others are favorites that I put to very good use frequently.  However, none of them look like the Wish-Bone.  So this little wonder gets high marks for it’s clever design.

Here’s how it works; you put your index finger (I prefer to use my middle finger) through the notch at the top of the vibe.  You finger tip lands on the single button that switches on the vibe and rotates it through its three speeds before coming to off.  That’s it; no bells, no whistles, just solid thoughtful design and construction.

It’s a perfect design.  I love to finger myself when I jill-off.  This extends my finger for effortless fingering.  It’s made of a hard plastic (phthalate-free) that excellently conducts the vibration.  It’s fabulous on my clit.  And if that isn’t enough, the thing is waterproof.  It’s so ideal; I now have the Wish-Bone permanently placed on the ledge of my tub.

And thank you, Doc Johnson, for including the first set of batteries.  That was mighty thoughtful of you.

Looking for a sweet little inexpensive stocking stuffer that will put a smile on a lady friend’s face.  Look no farther than the Wish-Bone.

Neo Cockring by Vibratex ——  $24.99

Brad
So I was like totally hot for the Neo Cockring when I saw it in its stylish plexiglas storage case.  At 33 I’m just discovering the joys of wearing a cockring. I was telling some of my gay clients at the gym about getting my first cockring about a month ago.  They looked at me like I had just landed from outer space. OK, so I’m a late bloomer; sue me!

The Neo Cockring is a clear jelly sorta deal.  Although it’s not a jelly, it’s made of a phthalate-free elastomer.  This may not make a difference to you, but it sure does to me.  I don’t do anything that may contain phthalates.  I mean, why would I endanger my health if I don’t have to?

The thing that rocks, or is supposed to, is this cockring has a built-in vibe, and it has this tickler side to it.  And even though the vibe is a tiny thing; it has two activation choices. The first is a side button that remains “on” until depressed, and the second is a pressure sensitive pad behind the ticklers.  So my GF is like waiting for me to warp this thing around my johnson and show her what it’ll do to her clit.  I position the ring around my dick and balls with the vibe on the top of my cock with the tickle head pointing outward.  Are you following this?

I activate the vibe and…well I feel it, but it ain’t rockin my world; as I had hoped.  But ok, maybe the vibe is not for me but my GF.  Ahhh, not so fast!  She says she can feel it too, and she likes the way it turns itself on as it comes in contact with her clit, but there ain’t enough bang for her buck either.

Bummer, cuz this is such a great concept.  You can see the Vibratex people put some thought into this.  I mean, the thing is waterproof and all; comes with batteries as well as a replacement set.  I never saw another vibe like that.  But still the vibe is a little too limp, if ya know what I mean.

Sweet Pea —— $68.00

Denise

I have the pleasure of introducing you to a luscious little playmate, Sweet Pea, from a fantastic new company in British Columbia, Canada, Eros & Isis.  It’s such a rare find to discover a boutique adult products company.  I am so over the cookie-cutter, mass-produced stuff made of dubious materials that floods the marketplace.  How refreshing to discover a manufacturer with an environmental consciousness.  Long live Eros & Isis!

Sweet Pea is a petite, 3.5” x 2.5”, bulbous headed vibe made of 100% platinum silicone. It’s completely safe and non-toxic, which includes the natural mineral pigment embedded into the silicone to achieve the antique look of their toys.  It is meticulously sculpted, molded and cast by hand to appear as a turn of the century collectible.  It really is unique.  I haven’t seen its like anywhere else.

Sweet Pea features a removable one-speed bullet vibrator that can be replaced or upgraded to any bullet-style unit.  The bullet come packed with batteries, I’m happy to report.  So your first ride is on the house.  You can use Sweet Pea externally, but I prefer it as a pussy plug.  The sculpted base delivers delicious stimulation to my lips and clit.  And it is so soft and comfortable I can wear for an extended time. Very nice!

There’s a bit of a secret to removing bullet vibe from the base for cleanup or when you need to change the batteries.  Simply add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in.  Remember only water-based lube on a beautiful silicone toy like this. Work the lube around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO!  The vibe pops out.

Sweet Pea is just one of the gorgeous Eros & Isis toys and each is available in Gold, Silver, and Jade.  The silicone makes the toys easy to clean with soap and water.  But it also can be sterilized in boiling water or in the dishwasher; sans the vibe, of course.

The packaging is minimal, which is fine.  However, there is one thing I would suggest.  I really believe they need to add some kind of label to their packaging that touts they very special nature of their toys — handmade, nontoxic, 100% premium silicone, etc.  I know you can read about these things on their site and in their beautiful downloadable catalogue.  (Which you absolutely must download!)  But I don’t think that’s nearly enough.  For example, if I were to give Sweet Pea as a gift, I would want the packaging to tell the lucky person I’m giving it to all about the marvelous qualities of this special toy.

Looking for a unique gift for someone very special?  Take my advice and shop at Eros & Isis.

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaft are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $39.95

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the other’s history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic Wand before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
Karen:  “Oh and here’s a tip.  You can turn any un-vibrating dildo or insertable into a vibrating one by just bringing the Hitachi in contact with it.  It’s like totally fantastic.”
Jack:  “Since we use the Wand for only external use, we don’t use lube with it.  We mistakenly did it once and it was a bitch to clean up and it makes the handle too freakin slippery.
Karen:  “If you’ve never tried one of these thing, you absolutely need to get one.  It makes the ideal gift for just about anyone.  Because you can use it very effectively on sore muscles.”

Tsunami, Lavender  —— $59.99

Christa

Wow, Dr Dick, you called on me to review a normal toy this time.  What, you couldn’t find any freaky stuff for me?  How odd!

Just kidding.  I know I’m weird and all, but hey, I have my normal moments too.  And the Tsunami is perfect for when I’m being my other self, the small town girl from Indiana.

So here’s the 411 on this amazing little vibe.  It runs on 2 AA-batteries.  Unfortunately, none came in the package.  Hey you guys, some of us are starving students!  Toss us a bone here and include some freakin’ batteries in your package, why don’t cha?

Anyhow, this sweetie is 100% silicone, which is like the only material that I’ll let near my precious pussy.  I gotta have hypoallergenic or forget about it!  I also sometime share my toys with my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex.  He’s this total ass whore.  I’m the first chick he ever had play with his prostate.  Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time.  SHEESH!

You can share silicone toys because you can sterilize them.  I can swish the Tsunami in boiling water for that purpose. I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use.  But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too. Warm water and mild soap is what I use if I’m gonna keep the toy all to my self.

The wicked thing about the Tsunami is that it has 10 fuckin’ vibration modes.  That’s like crazy!  I never had a toy with so many different vibrations.  Luckily, it has an on/off button too, so you don’t have to run through all the modes to get to off.  Much appreciate that!

It’s waterproof too, which is a damn good thing, cuz I can flood the bed when I cum.  The BF thinks this is totally hot, so I like to give him a good show.  Oh, and the vibration is almost all in the curved little tip.  This is perfect for the whole G-spot stim thing.  That’s how I get so wet, BTW!

So do yourself a favor and get one of these for yourself, or your ass whore BF.  If you have one of them.