Rod
OK I’ve really got to slow down on all these product reviews or I’m going to have to take a couple of days off work!

Now I LOVE to play with my nipples; I love others to play with them too. Hell I’ve even been known to stand close to the only other person on the elevator just to rub them against someone. (I’m very popular in my apartment building!)

I’ve always wanted to try some nipple clamps, but I never got around to purchasing a pair. Imagine my delight when I got this set of Weighted Nipple Clamps to review.

I took a look at the packaging. I scratched my head in disbelief as I looked at the buxom lady model on the insert. I can easily see how these Weighted Nipple Clamps would work on someone with her endowments. But as I looked south, to my own chest, I wondered how in the world were they going to work on me. And get this; they are advertised as “Fully Adjustable, Non-Tarnishing, Weighted Jewelry”. Jewelry, really? I mean, who considers these jewelry? I wonder what my mom would think if she got these for an anniversary present? OK, I suppose everyone has a different notion about what constitutes bodily ornaments.

At any rate, with just the slightest trepidation I shucked my shirt and began to fiddle with the Weighted Nipple Clamps to see how they worked. The clamps are metallic with plastic coatings on the clamp ends. The clamps have setscrews that allow you to adjust the tension of the clamp. The two clamps are connected by a chain and the weight is connected to the middle via another chain that hangs down about 6 inches.

I didn’t want to start off in too much pressure, so I adjusted the setscrews out quite a bit and attached the clams to my nipples while I was lying down on the bed. The pressure was very nice and I immediately started to get a rise a bit further south! Thinking that I’d like to add a bit of tug to the pressure, I slowly stood up and let the weight start to pull on my nipples.

Given that I am not as endowed in the nipple department as the full-figured female model on the package, the tension of the clamps on my nipples was quickly overcome by gravity and the weight pulled the clamps from my nips and the whole thing fell on my toe! OUCH! Did I mention the weight is not insignificant? So after hopping around for moment and using a couple of expletives that caused the cat to run from the room I decided to give it another go. I adjusted the setscrews for a tighter fit and reapplied the clamps. This time the weight held for a bit longer before the clips slipped off my nipples. I couldn’t seem to get the pressure right. If the Weighted Nipple Clamps was tight enough to support the weight then they were way too tight on my nipples. And if the clamps were pleasurably tight on my nipples; then look out feet!

I finally relented and decided on less clamping pressure and no weight and had a jolly good time with myself. Overall I think the Weighted Nipple Clamps are designed for the more advanced tit torturer. This would be a great toy for him/her. For me, a novice, I’m better off using them without the weight. But who knows, I may be able to work up to the advanced class in time. I’ll keep you posted.

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Rod
If looking at the packaging is supposed to tell you anything, you might guess the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit would be fun. Although, as a gay man, I would have preferred packaging that featured a well-hung and muscled guy to inspire me. But let’s not judge the book by its cover.

Getting the Restraint Kit set up is the first challenge, as you have to thread it under the mattress and through the headboard. But after you have it in place it’s easy to conceal the restraints by dropping them down next to the mattress to wait inconspicuously for your next play session. This insures that your maid, your mother-in-law or any other person that may traipse through your boudoir will never know about your dark kinky side.

The cuffs are made of a kind of rubber foam that actually feels quite nice against the skin. They are bound by sturdy material with Velcro for easy-off, easy-on access. My partner Eric volunteered to be “managed” first. I put the ankle and wrist cuffs on him and clipped him in. The first thing we noticed was that, even for the novice, these cuffs are easy to get out of. Then I discovered I needed to adjust the straps to really tighten the thing down. Once I did that I had Eric restrained quite nicely. I should have taken photos!

We then got down to business and I started a little feather-duster torture treatment on my spread-eagle partner and the squirming and straining began in earnest. OOPS! In no time, the flimsy construction of the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit began to show. The stitching holding the straps to the cuffs stated to tear as Erik writhed in tormented pleasure. At the end or our little session he was still restrained, but just barely. I am certain those cuffs won’t last for even one more session. That’s disappointing.

I should also mention the smell of the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit when it first comes out of the package. While not as bad as the Chains of Love Bondage Kit, it still had a strong petroleum smell. Trust me; this is not the sexy smell of leather. It’s more like the smell of gasoline on your shoes after you’ve filled the car.

Overall I’ll give the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit a rating of 5 out of a possible 10. It started out ok, but it’s not made to last beyond a couple of play sessions.

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Rod
Many years ago I had a boyfriend that liked to use my neckties to tie me to his metal bed frame and have his way with me. Ahhh fond memories of days gone by. So with this rather rousing recollection I was excited to try out the Fetish Fantasy Series – Chains of Love Bondage Kit. This kit comes with chained wrist restraints with adjustable cuffs; chained ankle restraints with adjustable cuffs; a leather love mask; 2 hot wax candles; and a leather whip.

From our point of view, the packaging leaves a great deal to be desired. While there was a pretty sexy guy on the front there was only a woman with him. We think the box should show other model alternatives — two guys, or two gals for instance. Or maybe there should be other packaging options that are more inclusive. We thought that just having the one male/female option was off-putting to a big segment of the perspective customer base; like us for example, a gay couple.

Anyway, the description promises that you can act out your darkest desires and take turns role-playing with your lover. That sounded like a plan so Eric and I hopped on the bed and poured out the contents of the box to get started.

The first thing we noticed about Chains of Love Bondage Kit is the smell. YUK! I was a chemist in a former life; and the first thing I thought of was not erotic foreplay, but the need to look for a hazmat bag to dispose of this stuff. It smelled as if someone had just varnished a room full of wood. And given the smell I can tell you it was not MY wood, because the offending odor was a real boner killer! Off gas, the chemical smell I just described, indicates toxicity.

But being the diligent (not to mention horny) couple that we are we persevered. I volunteered for the submissive role. And having in the past enjoyed being restrained I let Eric put me in both the wrist and ankle cuffs. They come with Velcro for quick release in case you forget your safe word or have to make an impromptu bathroom run. Unfortunately, we never had to worry about that. Once the cuffs were in place. I adjusted my weight a bit and in doing so I moved my legs slightly. The “chains” joining the ankle cuffs broke! When I reached down with my manacled hands to investigate this regrettable turn of events; the wrist restraints chain broke too. So much for the bondage concept! Did anyone at the factory bother to test this shit before sending it out to unsuspecting customers?

Additionally the “leather whip” looks like tassels from a little girl’s bicycle that were spray-painted black. This isn’t the least bit erotic; it is, however, a freakin joke. Actually the mask is OK and we did use the two “hot wax” candles during a storm so not all was lost. The rest of it we tossed in the trash to get the stench out of the house. Once we abandoned the Chains of Love Bondage Kit, we put on some porn and got on with the evening.

Eric and I thought it would be a lot less expensive and way more fun to just pick up some cotton rope from Homo Depot. That would have gotten me harder and hornier than this junk. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting raunchy, Folsom Street type fetish gear, because I know that stuff costs a lot of money. But I hoped we’d get something more than this. The Chains of Love Bondage Kit resembles a prize one would get from a gumball machine.

Sorry folks; don’t waste your time or your money. If you want something that will last, look to the review that our colleagues Ken and Denise did for Leather Wrist Restraints W/Red Hearts. There are also matching Ankle Restraints.

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Ken & Denise
Denise: “We scored big time with these fantastic Leather Wrist Restraints. These things are the real deal too.”
Ken: “Yeah, I was hoping we’d finally score some good kinky shit, because we were getting tired of reviewing the awful stuff that had been coming our way lately.”
Denise: “So true! But these beautiful black Leather Wrist Restraints with the playful red leather heart inlay design make up for recent disappointments.”
Ken: “Like Denise said; these are the real deal — sturdy black leather and metal studs and buckles. Very hot!”
Denise: “They are comfortable, because they are totally adjustable. There are 11 holes for the buckle. I have very small wrists and Ken has massive wrists and these Leather Wrist Restraints fit us both. They don’t have a lining, like some restraints I’ve seen, but the leather is soft and the edges are sealed and rounded so they don’t cut off my circulation when I’m wearing them.”
Ken: “They also work as ankle restraints for Denise, because she is so petite. But they aren’t big enough for my ankles. I wonder; do they make matching ankle restraints in a men’s size?”
Denise: “If you think you may enjoy a little role-play or power-play, these are the Leather Wrist Restraints for you. They are relatively inexpensive, but they are built to last.
Ken: “And it’s so easy to create a competent bondage scenario with these babies and some bondage rope. Think of an under the mattress or through the bedposts setup that will provide loads of fun for both the bottom and the top.”
Denise: “Treat your leather toys with care and they will last and last. We have this wonderful leather cleaner that is just perfect for maintaining and conditioning all our leather stuff.”

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Christa
They call this thing a Red Metallic Heart Bat, but it looks, feels and handles more like a riding crop. But whatever you call it, it is fuckin SWEET!

I brought the Red Metallic Heart Bat home the other day; pulled it out of the bag and I thought my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex , was gonna swoon. I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. He’s like this total ass whore. I was his first girlfriend to finger him and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time. So now I have a little something to smack his ass with when I’m pegging the livin’ daylights out of him.

A crop is not as painful as a paddle, but it still offers up a great sting. And if you smack the bare skin just right, besides getting a very satisfying snap, you get this adorable heart imprint. Nothing says love to your sub like a heart-shaped welt on his behind.

The Red Metallic Heart Bat is exceptionally stylish as well as being very practical. It’s 25.5” long; it has black plastic stitching up the length of the stem, which is topped off with the red leather heart. It has a leatherette handle with nice metal finishings.

I have to admit I got totally wet the first time I used this crop on Alex. I had him bend over the arm of the couch and drop his drawers. He, of course, obediently obliged me. I came up behind him and began to tickle his ass and balls with Red Metallic Heart Bat. He immediately got hard and started to ooze precum. I spread his legs farther apart and lubed up his hole. I had his favorite butt plug lubed and ready. As I placed it against his pucker and pressed it home, I brought down the crop with a snap. I swear; Alex didn’t know what hit him. He let out with an animal like sound; a kind of howl and a scream together, so I knew I hit my mark, both literally and figuratively.

Next came the strap on and the evening progressed like this till we were both completely satisfied and his cheeks were glowing.

There is nothing like playing with the Pain/Pleasure principle. If you haven’t tried it, you really ought to. I have a feeling there’s a latent dominatrix in a lot of the women out there. For an investment of under $25, you could make this happen in your life. GO FOR IT!

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Jack & Karen
Jack: “So here’s some fun for everyone.Nipplettes are cute vibrating tit clamps.”
Karen: “They are adjustable, although they never really clamp all that tightly. Which makes them great for beginners. They are easy to operate; a simple one push-button control turns them on and off. There’s just the one speed.”
Jack: “Nipplettes don’t have a very strong bullet vibe either. But I guess novice players wouldn’t want the vibration to be all that strong anyway, right?”
Karen: “Nipplettes look like clothes pins with the bullet vibe inside the top of the clamp. They are made of plastic with a rubber coating that makes them even less scary to play with.”
Jack: “They are battery operated, but not waterproof. The package says they are waterproof, but they are NOT. So be careful there. Karen mentioned they are adjustable; and they are. You adjust them by twisting a small plastic screw on the base of the clamp.”
Karen: “The vibe is relatively quiet, but they do have a tendency to rattle, which was a little annoying.”
Jack: “We found that Nipplettes can only be used while laying down. Since the clamping action isn’t very strong they tend to fall off if you’re standing of sitting. This was the really annoying part. I mean if you can’t move around while they’re on, what good are they?”
Karen: “Oh, and we happily discovered that Nipplettes are not just for your nipples. In fact, I think they are better suited to other parts of the body. I used them on my labia and clit and totally loved it. Jack used them on his foreskin and his testicles, and he like that a lot too.”
Jack: “Yeah, the best thing about the Nipplettes is that you can be so creative with them. You can use them on all your sensitive parts without fear that they will hurt you.”
Karen: “Remember these are for fun. If you’re looking for the kind of clamps that will make you squirm, you’ll need to look elsewhere.”
Jack: “Yeah, but strategically placing them on your cock or pussy will provide you with the kind of fun you couldn’t get from hardcore clamps. So there’s that.”

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Brad
I though to myself, so ok I know this isn’t a professional grade ball gag, but it could be fun. And I was right…at least the first couple of times me and the GF played around with the Pecker Ball Gag.

It has this soft, little penis shaped gag the size and shape of a Champagne cork. It’s not really a gag, because you actually bite down on it. So it’s more like for show than it is for serious. But we knew this is just for fun and it would be the perfect thing for beginners.

The “gag” stays in place by means of an adjustable leather strap, which is pretty sturdy, but not all that long. So if you have a big head like me, you won’t be the one wearing the gag.

So far so good, right?

Unfortunately there are these two other little straps on either side of the gag that that connects it to the sturdy neck strap and they are like totally fuckin lame. We used the Pecker Ball Gag exactly twice before one of the little straps broke rendering the entire thing useless. WTF? This just goes to show you that a toy is only as good as its weakest part.

Great idea, piss-poor execution, that is if you ask me. But what can you expect from something under $10?

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Glenn & Hank introduce us to Rachel’s Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs).

Hank:  “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”
Glenn:  “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed.  I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”
Hank:  “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”
Glenn:  “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed
Hank:  “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening.  In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn:  “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”
Hank:  “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”
Glenn:  “And it’s reasonably priced.”
Hank:  “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits.  We did!”
Glenn:  “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”
Hank:  “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”

So there ya have it, Sex Fans.  We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas.  Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

ENJOY

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit .

Glenn:  “Hank and I agree with Dixie.  We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging.  I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank:  “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better.  We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn:  “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank:  “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn:  “Absolutely!  But we all have to start somewhere.” 
Hank:  “Do you know a budding kinkster?  Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn:  “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”
Hank:  “Try the Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit today!”
Glenn:  “You sound just like the guys on the TV.”
Hank:  “All kidding aside, this is a great product that can be used by the amateur or the pro.”

Just lay the weighted straps over door, close it shut.  Turn any room into a playground for kinky bondage play!  Tease or please, control or be controlled –– now it’s easy!  Each thick nylon strap is connected to a detachable and adjustable velour-lined Velcro cuff.  You get 2 cuffs in a package.  Buy 2 pairs for total control!

Gina & Kevin

Gina:  “Kevin and I had a ball with this.”
Kevin:  “First off, we are both virgins to the bondage thing.”
Gina:  “I have to say I was more than a little intimidated by the concept of being restrained.  So I agreed to go first only when Kevin agreed to go next.”
Kevin:  “I was like totally up for that.  I even offered to go first.  Except Gina didn’t have a clue what to do once I was in the cuffs.”
Gina:  “I guess I need to watch more kinky porn, huh?”
Kevin:  “So here’s what ya do. Just loop the straps over the top of the door with these bars on the outside and the cuffs on the inside.  Then close the door.  What could be easier?”
Gina:  “I didn’t think the Velcro on the cuffs would be strong enough to secure me especially if I struggled against them.  I was oh so wrong.  I was like totally helpless.”
Kevin:  “I could see that Gina was really leery about doing this, so I wanted to make this first experience really enjoyable.  First, I had her face out with her back against the door.  This gave me access to her front.  I undid her bra and sucked on he nipples.  She loves when I do this.”
Gina:  “I do love it.  Strangely enough, I don’t ever recall experienced this while standing.  I’m always laying down when he plays with my nipples.  With my hands suspended above my head in the cuffs, I actually found myself buckling my knees and dangling my body weight from my wrists, which added a whole new dimension to the sensations in my breasts.”
Kevin:  “I then pulled down her panties, spread her thighs and held them tight.  (This is where a second set of these cuffs would have come in handy.) Then I proceeded to lick and nibble at her clit and pussy lips.  I gave her a mighty fine tongue fucking too.  I drove her fuckin crazy doin that.”
Gina:  “It’s true.  Suspended as I was and with his hands holding my legs, I really couldn’t escape his mouth.  I had to adjust to being helpless like this.  But once I let go, I was thrashing about with waves of orgasmic pleasure.  I wonder what the neighbors thought.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, she was totally out of control.  I was pretty worked up myself.  So I decided to throw her a fuck right then and there, up against the door.”
Gina:  “When he entered me I was able to lift my legs off the floor and wrap them around him.  And I did it all while being suspended by my wrists.  All this was totally new territory for me.”
Kevin:  “We had to wait for another day for me to get cuffed.  Gina was just too worn out by her time in the cuffs.”
Gina:  “When it was Kevin’s turn two days later, I decided to cuff him facing the door.  I added a silk scarf blindfold.  He was mine, all mine!”
Kevin:  “I was completely surprised by how Gina took to being a dominant top.  She apparently has a real sadistic streak that was just waiting to be released.”
Gina:  “He’s right, I became like this other person.  I loved telling him what to do — spread your legs — and things like that.
I went to work on his butt.  Teasing it at first with little scratches, but then I could see he wanted more.  So by-god I gave it to him.  Open handed slaps and even whacks with one of my hairbrushes make his cheeks glow crimson.”
Kevin:  “She was yankin on my nuts like crazy while she was tanning my ass.  I loved it.  I believe I’ve created a novice dominatrix.”
Gina:  “I know, who would have guessed I’d get into this as much as I did?  These little Door Jam Cuffs open a whole new world to me and us.  These will be a big part of our play together in the future.  And we definitely need that second pair for our feet.”