Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Magic Massager —12 Function, 3 Attachments —— $46.30

Joy
Can you believe it’s 2010 already? I’ve been a Review Crew member for two and a half years. And in that time I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to a load of great products, but also some not so great as well.

Today’s review falls squarely into the great product category. I want to tell you about the Magic Massager from Blush Novelties. This thing is phenomenal. It’s a mini-wand type of vibrator; it’s only about 8 inches long from tip to tail. It’s powered by 4 AA batteries (not included in the package).

One would expect a diminutive vibe like this to carry only 2 AA batteries, right? Well, maybe it’s the two extra batteries, but whatever it is this thing is the strongest vibrator, per inch, I have ever used. It rocks my world, baby!

It features a 12-mode vibration system with a LED control panel. Can ya stand it? I mean, come on; that’s freakin overkill, ain’t it? Honestly, the first time I had the Magic Massagerworking its …ahhh magic on my girly parts, I couldn’t honestly say I got beyond the first 5 modes before I got off TWICE! It’s that great. When I took the time to investigate all the modes, I was able to distinguish between all the vibration functions. There’s this one, #9 I think, that is totally crazy. It feels like the thing is running out of power and just when you think it’s gonna die it come roaring back to life. Loved it! And even when the Magic Massager is rockin out, it’s pretty quiet.

One thing to note, the user has to cycle through all of the modes to get to the one she likes the best. But there is an off button that stops the vibe altogether, which is much appreciated.

The Magic Massager comes with 3 soft and pliable attachments — a dome shape, a flat grooved shape and a beaded shape. The beaded shape is my favorite. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the package about what the attachments are made of. I am pretty sure it’s not silicone. I used a silicone-based lube with it and it appears to be fine. (Note to manufacturer: it’s always a good idea to include information on the materials used in producing the toy. This helps the consumer make an educated decision on if it is right for her/him.)

Besides the vibrating functions and the three attachments, this puppy is waterproof. And anyone who follows my reviews knows I’m all about bringing toys to the bath.

The battery compartment is a bitch to open. I struggled with it till I almost gave up. And you must sure to replace the little clear O-ring properly, or the vibe will not be waterproof.

This is a unisex toy. Boys as well as girls will really have a ball with this. You’ll be hard pressed to find a more powerful and versatile vibe at this low price. It comes in very nice, yet modest packaging. Get one today!

ELBOW GREASE Hot —— $4.75

Jack Cascade*
The promotional claim reads: ELBOW GREASE Hot Cream is of the same thick consistency as the Original formula but, it heats up! The Hot formula is a mineral oil-based, warming, thick cream lubricant. It stands beside its Original brother as the oldest warming cream formula on the market today. The warming agent in our formula is menthol.

For review purposes, the long-established Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Hot.

I want to know who the hell thought it’d be a good idea to promote the sensation of burning to a throbbing cock. Some sadist, perhaps? For most men out there, the thought of heat and burning anywhere near our precious penis is enough to shut down the erector set and make us want to put the toys away. The fact that the active ingredient to create the “warming” sensation in ELBOW GREASE Hot is menthol seems to be quite the misnomer.

Whatever brilliant mind came up with this marketing mistake needs to be shot at dawn. Whatever happened to menthol being associated with sensations of fresh and, I don’t know, cool? The real benefit of ELBOW GREASE Hot has yet to be marketed. However, I’m pretty proud that I was able to find some enjoyable uses for this stuff. First off, forget about using it to jack off or to fuck with.

The real titillation comes when you apply a liberal amount, rub in, wait a couple of minutes while the menthol works its magic. Ok, ok so it does work on your dick. But the second time I used ELBOW GREASE Hot lubricant, I slathered it on my balls and perineum, then waited a bit. Within minutes, an intense tingling, COOLING sensation (some may consider this a warming sensation) had my cock harder than before. However, I kept it off my shaft. Here’s the key to using this product: don’t be afraid to experiment.

The third time I used it on my nipples as I had on my balls. It was intense and also lovely. The real pleasure of this cream is coming up with new ways to apply it. Next I want to try it along the back of my neck or maybe on the inside of my wrists. The possibilities are endless and the potential to improve your orgasm is unlimited. In the right hands, ELBOW GREASE Hot can turn sex into a whole new experience. Get some today and have some fun!

*Read about Jack’s personal journey as a single man living a year without sex HERE! He hastens to add that masturbation is allowed and encouraged.

Love Connection —— $24.33

Joy
My partner, Dixie, and I each got a Doc Johnson toy to review.  Dixie posted her Wish-Bone Vibe review two weeks ago.  I got the equally cute, Love Connection to review.

This sweet little multi-speed vibe is actually two vibes in one.  There are two different silicone attachments that you screw on to the hard plastic base.  I’ve used other vibes that offered attachments, but I was disappointed to discover that I couldn’t count on the attachment staying in place during use.  The Love Connection is different.  The two attachments actually screw on to the handle, so there’s no chance the thing will come off when you’re using it.

But the best thing about this little wonder is that it’s waterproof.  There’s nothing that satisfies like a vibe in the bath.  There is a one touch fingertip control button on the base of the handle that allows you to cycle through the three speeds.  This is not a powerhouse vibe, but you wouldn’t expect it to be, being such a cute little thing.  But it gets the job done.

This would make the ideal vibe for travel.  It’s discreet, and it’s quiet.  The Love Connection runs on 2 AAA batteries.  Unfortunately, they are not included in the package.

Looking for a sweet little stocking stuffer for the naughty gal on your list?  You can’t go wrong with the Love Connection.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Wish-Bone Vibrator ——  $25.50

Dixie
I’m doing a solo review today.  My partner, Joy, is working on another review for later in this series.

I have something no nonsense to show you this time around.  It’s about as simple and straightforward as you can get.  It’s the Wish-Bone Vibrator.

I’ve used a lot of vibes in my day.  I think I own nearly two-dozen of them.  Some I’ve used a couple of times and that’s it; I never touch them again.  Others are favorites that I put to very good use frequently.  However, none of them look like the Wish-Bone.  So this little wonder gets high marks for it’s clever design.

Here’s how it works; you put your index finger (I prefer to use my middle finger) through the notch at the top of the vibe.  You finger tip lands on the single button that switches on the vibe and rotates it through its three speeds before coming to off.  That’s it; no bells, no whistles, just solid thoughtful design and construction.

It’s a perfect design.  I love to finger myself when I jill-off.  This extends my finger for effortless fingering.  It’s made of a hard plastic (phthalate-free) that excellently conducts the vibration.  It’s fabulous on my clit.  And if that isn’t enough, the thing is waterproof.  It’s so ideal; I now have the Wish-Bone permanently placed on the ledge of my tub.

And thank you, Doc Johnson, for including the first set of batteries.  That was mighty thoughtful of you.

Looking for a sweet little inexpensive stocking stuffer that will put a smile on a lady friend’s face.  Look no farther than the Wish-Bone.

We have yet another exquisite erotic art insertable from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the third product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  See the other HERE!

Mister Twister ——  $129.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn:  “WE’RE BACK!  Did you miss us?  We missed you.  Well actually, we missed the sex toys.  Being a Review Crew member has its perks.”
Hank:  “He’s in such a good mood because we got to review another toy that he can shove up his ass.  Glenn has the hungriest hole around.”
Glenn:  “I like to think of it as talented, not hungry.”
Hank:  “A rosebud by any other name…”
Glenn:  “Speaking of talented; a literary allusion and an asshole allusion all in one sentence.  You’re on a roll, my man!”
Hank:  “Ok, let’s get on with it.  What we have here is an art glass butt plug. Mister Twister is just one of the beautiful creations to be had when you visit XHale online.  Glenn and I are new to glass, but after this little encounter; there will surely be more glass toys to come.”
Glenn:  “This petite beauty is only 3 3/8” tall.  It has a very modest girth of not much more than an inch.  This is your starter butt plug model.  I’m like totally used to way bigger toys in my ass, but there is something about this stunning little number that makes it one of my favorites.  I feel all dressed up with this puppy pluggin my hole.  Maybe that’s because it’s art, baby.  All XHale art is individually handmade, which makes my insertable even more precious to me.  No one else in the world has exactly the same one as I.”
Hank:  “It sure is!  It also has this amazing blue and white swirl in the solid glass.  That’s why when Mister Twister joined our dildo and plug collection it was like a snowy dove trooping with crows.”
Glenn:  “There you go again!  Apparently you’ve got Romeo and Juliet on the brain.  But you’re right; Mister Twister is a jewel, that’s for sure.”
Hank:  “Because this is the highest quality glass, it will last a lifetime; ya just gotta treat it with care.”
Glenn:  “XHale helps you do that by providing a very sturdy black padded drawstring pouch to keep your insertable art safe from getting nicked or chipped.  But we think Mister Twister is so beautiful; when it’s not adorning my hole it is proudly placed on our mantle.”
Hank:  “And if you think that is gross, you don’t know squat about glass insertables.  You can clean this baby with simple soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher.”
Glenn:  “You can use any sort of lube you want to with a glass object like this.  And a little goes a very long way.  For someone unfamiliar with a butt plug, this will take some getting use to.  It’s hard as a rock.  But once you get the hang of it, it will be your material of choice from there on out.  I can wear Mister Twister for hours on end.  There’s no chafing; nothing like that.”
Hank:  “And you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
Glenn:  “Not all glass toys are made of the same quality glass.  But if you are considering a purchase, look for the name XHale.  You will not be disappointed.”
Hank:  “Glass, particularly stunning art glass like this, is gonna cost you.  But what thing of quality won’t?”
Glenn:  “If you know someone with an asshole and that person is very special; then Mister Twister is the ideal holiday gift for him or her.”

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaft are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

Onyé ——  $55.00

Jada:
I’m delighted to have this beautiful vibe to share with you.  It’s one of the Big Teaze elegant B-3 line called, Onyé!  I don’t know how to pronounce that, nor do I know what the word means.  But they could have called it anything and it would still be the very stylish discreet vibe it is.

Onyé has eight separate massage modes (3 speeds and 5 pulse patterns).  This little powerhouse is packed into a 4.5″ x 1.25” bullet made of gleaming black virgin ABS with a tasteful silicone band.  The non-slip grip silicone band is perfect for keeping lubed fingers from slipping.  All of this comes in sophisticated packaging including a satin-lined storage and brochure.  You can tell that a lot of thought went into this presentation.

It’s splash proof, not waterproof.  I wouldn’t use it in the bath, but it was fine in the shower.

The battery compartment is easy to open; thank you very much!  It runs on 3-AAA batteries (not included in the package).  Figuring out how the batteries are to be placed in the compartment was a bit of a puzzle till I noticed the tiny-tiny diagrams on the side of the compartment.  I really needed my reading glasses for that.

There is just the one button operation on the base of the vibe, which means you have to cycle through all of the modes to locate the sensation best suited to your mood, or to turn it off.  That might be aggravating to some, but it wasn’t an issue for me necessarily.

Onyé is not the most powerful vibe I own, but I don’t expect that in such a petite package.  It is, however, a go anywhere vibe that slips easily into my purse.  One never knows when one’s going to need a little…how should I say this; boost during the day.

This massager is not super quiet as are some of my silicone vibes.  But the hard plastic shell delivers more of the vibration then does the silicone vibes do.  Oddly enough, silicone seems to cushion the vibration.

I’m happy to recommend this beautiful toy as a gift to yourself or someone special.

Element ——  $64.99

Jack:
Since I’ve started to show an interest in my ass as a reservoir of amazing sexual pleasure, I’ve become increasingly focused on finding just the right toy for my butt play.  My partner, Karen, has loads of vibrating massagers, but none of them really interest me as an insertable.  They are fine for external stimulation, but I’ve been on the lookout for something I can call my own and that I can safely stuff in my ass.

Because I’m so new to this sort of play, I have some very specific requirements for the toy of my prostate-massaging dreams.  It has to be modestly sized, manly looking, something more plug-like then just a dildo and it has to vibrate.  Is that too much to ask?

So along comes the opportunity to test drive Element, a prostate massager from one of the most trusted names in sex toys, Tantus.  Curiously enough, I’ve seen pictures of this toy online.  And ya know what, I passed it up thinking it couldn’t possibly be the toy I was looking for.  For some reason, the photos I’ve seen of it make it look more menacing than it is.  Once I had it in my hands, however, I realized this might very well be what I’ve been searching for.

It’s not nearly as big as I imagined it would be from the pictures I saw.  It’s 100% silicone, which makes it soft and pliable.  It’s got a manly enough shape; it’s more of a plug, then it is a dildo.  And it sure enough vibrates.  So check, check, check and check!

Karen said she thought Element would be as an effective G-spot vibe as it is a P-spot vibe.  I suppose she’s right.  But for now, this baby is all mine.

I greased up Element and my near-virginal pucker with a wad of water-based lube.  (That’s the only kind of lube you can use with this, or any, silicone toy.  But you know that already, huh?)  I gingerly slipped the bulbous head into my ass.  Pretty easy going!  I stop to take some deep breaths, because Element is already working its magic.  The shaft is easy to insert too.  I’m kinda surprised.  Not that it’s particularly thick; it’s just that it’s easy. Element comes to rest with the base tight against my cheeks.  I’m lovin this big time, and I have yet to activate the vibe.

I wait a moment to let my hole adjust to its new friend.  Then I switch on the bullet vibe that is embedded in the toy’s base.  Wow, that’s nice!  It’s  not overpowering or anything, just a nice buzz.  My prostate is jumpin’ for joy though.  My dick is rock hard and drizzlin’ precum like crazy.  I jack myself to nearly cuming then let go of my cock.  I love this edge play; I can do this for a half hour easy. Element is amazingly comfortable in my ass.  I would have never guessed had I not tried it myself.

I finally pop my joy-juice all over my chest.  There’s more spunk then I usually produce.  I’m chalking that up to the prostate massage.  I love my Element!

If you’re a novice ass-diddler like me, and you think, like I thought, that this couldn’t be the ass toy you’ve been looking for; think again.  It’s only 4.5″ x 1″ for chrissake.  The bullet vibe runs on 3 watch batteries (LR44’s) and the first set is included in the package.  THANK YOU Tantus!

Because Element is 100% silicone clean up is easy with soap and water.  To sterilize, remove the bullet vibe, and drop it into a pot of boiling water for a minute or two.  Or you can just pop it in the dishwasher before you drift off for a well-deserved post-buggering nap.

Here’s a tip:  I couldn’t figure out how to remove the freakin bullet vibe.  The thing was stuck in the base of the toy like it was glued in there.  Dr Dick told me the secret of removing it.  Add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in.  Work it around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO!  The vibe pops out.

Element is not only a toy, but it’s also a means to prostate health.  Be sure to check it out.  I encourage you put one where the sun don’t shine.  You’ll thank me!

Doc Johnson Harmony Divine Yin ——  $49.99

Kevin

I’m happy to report that I had better luck with my toy then Jada did.

This here is the Harmony Divine Yin (black), which is exactly like the Yang (white), except for the color.  It is a multi-speed (3), waterproof vibe with a very stylish shape.  Despite having an interesting shape, there is nothing about it that suggests craftsmanship.  You can tell immediately that it is mass-produced.  There is also a disposable quality about it, which is too bad.  Because with a little more though behind this, the Harmony Divine Yin could have been something quite remarkable.

It is made of hard plastic.  I didn’t think I was going to take to the hardness, but I wound up liking it very much.  So I have no quarrel with the material used.

The batteries (2-AAA) are easy to install.  No batteries are included in the package, which sucks.  And the battery compartment is easily closed to create what they claim is a watertight fit.  I use it in the shower, but I won’t use it in the bath. I’d just as soon not ruin this by tempting the fates, if ya know what I mean.

Harmony Divine Yin is not very powerful, but I won’t kick it out of bed.  The nipple-like button turns it on and cycles through the three speeds. The hard plastic conducts the vibration better than say a jelly toy would; so there’s that.  It’s pretty quiet too.

The serious end of Harmony Divine Yin is sort of plug-shaped and is nearly 2 inches in diameter at its widest part.  In terms of this being used as a butt plug or a prostate stimulator, it isn’t for the novice butt pirate.  However, it’s a nice external stimulator for your taint (perineum) and balls.  Because it’s hard plastic, you can sit on it with the pointy end on your rosebud while you whack off.  It gives you a nice little buzz.  If you’re gonna use it internally; lube is a necessity.  Again, because it’s hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want.  This will make the tapered end easier to insert.  Not that it’s particularly difficult for those of us who know what we’re doing.

I liked doing my kegel exercises on the Harmony Divine Yin unyielding hardness.  If you’re up for it, the ridges in the middle of the toy will provide some extra stimulation during a thrusting motion. Once it’s inserted, it can be pretty much a hands-free toy.

Clean up is super easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

One final thing, I think this is a bit pricey for a simple straightforward hard plastic vibe, especially since it’s not all that powerful.  If it were $10 less, I’d say go for it; what do you have to lose?  But for just about $10 more you’d be able get yourself a very nice, powerful silicone vibe that will probably last much longer than the Harmony Divine Yin will.

Finally, Madora, has something fun from Big Teaze Toys to show you.

Super Flower Power: 2 Piece Bouquet —— $29.99

Home; batteries included (triple A), YES!  I love it when that happens.  Inside there’s a bonus Flower Power keychain, a mini version of the vibe that looks like a little daisy without the stem, this one even comes with bonus extra batteries (the little watch kind), EXCELLENT!

Home; batteries included (triple A), YES!  I love it when that happens.  Inside there’s a bonus Flower Power keychain, a mini version of the vibe that looks like a little daisy without the stem, this one even comes with bonus extra batteries (the little watch kind), EXCELLENT!

My first impression is that the vibrating part, the center of the flower, is a little hard for me.  At least for direct contact with my “flower”.  The center of the flower is hard plastic.  But I like the soft petals which spread the vibes out from its petals to yours.  It’s like a gentle labia massage, which is cool and rare in a vibrator.  These are especially nice if you use a little lube on the petals.

I’m starting to get used to the texture and hardness. I actually like it and like the strength of the vibe when I’m using it through my clothes, the barrier makes it not seem so hard and yet it’s still able to convey strong enough vibes right through to where they’re needed.  I was thinking it could be fun for when you want to tease your partner right through her clothes. Did I mention these toys are waterproof?

All in all it definitely did the trick but when I really start to get into it, either with the vibe or the little keychain, the soft petal ring pops right off the vibrator.  I either hafta kinda hold it on, or stop and put it back on, if I wanna keep playing with that part.  So that’s a bummer.

The keychain has been a godsend.  I’m on a trip right now and brought it with me and wasn’t concerned about security seeing it,  It just looks like a toy.  I ended up having cramps and everyone knows an orgasm is the best thing for cramps so I put it to use, you know, for medicinal purposes.

It’s small enough where it’s super discreet and even if you saw it your mind wouldn’t initially make the connection or the assumption that it’s a vibrator.  It isn’t exactly super quiet, so I wouldn’t want to bust it out in a public bathroom or anything, but it’s certainly convenient.  It’s only got one speed, and it’s pretty strong, again I prefer to use this one through my panties, because of it’s a hard texture.

In the end it made rainbows and smiley faces come out of me when I came, at least that’s what it felt like to me.  It’s not my first pick but it’s fun and I’d love to use it in a photo shoot sometime.