Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

ELBOW GREASE Hot —— $4.75

Jack Cascade*
The promotional claim reads: ELBOW GREASE Hot Cream is of the same thick consistency as the Original formula but, it heats up! The Hot formula is a mineral oil-based, warming, thick cream lubricant. It stands beside its Original brother as the oldest warming cream formula on the market today. The warming agent in our formula is menthol.

For review purposes, the long-established Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Hot.

I want to know who the hell thought it’d be a good idea to promote the sensation of burning to a throbbing cock. Some sadist, perhaps? For most men out there, the thought of heat and burning anywhere near our precious penis is enough to shut down the erector set and make us want to put the toys away. The fact that the active ingredient to create the “warming” sensation in ELBOW GREASE Hot is menthol seems to be quite the misnomer.

Whatever brilliant mind came up with this marketing mistake needs to be shot at dawn. Whatever happened to menthol being associated with sensations of fresh and, I don’t know, cool? The real benefit of ELBOW GREASE Hot has yet to be marketed. However, I’m pretty proud that I was able to find some enjoyable uses for this stuff. First off, forget about using it to jack off or to fuck with.

The real titillation comes when you apply a liberal amount, rub in, wait a couple of minutes while the menthol works its magic. Ok, ok so it does work on your dick. But the second time I used ELBOW GREASE Hot lubricant, I slathered it on my balls and perineum, then waited a bit. Within minutes, an intense tingling, COOLING sensation (some may consider this a warming sensation) had my cock harder than before. However, I kept it off my shaft. Here’s the key to using this product: don’t be afraid to experiment.

The third time I used it on my nipples as I had on my balls. It was intense and also lovely. The real pleasure of this cream is coming up with new ways to apply it. Next I want to try it along the back of my neck or maybe on the inside of my wrists. The possibilities are endless and the potential to improve your orgasm is unlimited. In the right hands, ELBOW GREASE Hot can turn sex into a whole new experience. Get some today and have some fun!

*Read about Jack’s personal journey as a single man living a year without sex HERE! He hastens to add that masturbation is allowed and encouraged.

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaft are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $39.95

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the other’s history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic Wand before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
Karen:  “Oh and here’s a tip.  You can turn any un-vibrating dildo or insertable into a vibrating one by just bringing the Hitachi in contact with it.  It’s like totally fantastic.”
Jack:  “Since we use the Wand for only external use, we don’t use lube with it.  We mistakenly did it once and it was a bitch to clean up and it makes the handle too freakin slippery.
Karen:  “If you’ve never tried one of these thing, you absolutely need to get one.  It makes the ideal gift for just about anyone.  Because you can use it very effectively on sore muscles.”

Doc Johnson Harmony Divine Yin ——  $49.99

Kevin

I’m happy to report that I had better luck with my toy then Jada did.

This here is the Harmony Divine Yin (black), which is exactly like the Yang (white), except for the color.  It is a multi-speed (3), waterproof vibe with a very stylish shape.  Despite having an interesting shape, there is nothing about it that suggests craftsmanship.  You can tell immediately that it is mass-produced.  There is also a disposable quality about it, which is too bad.  Because with a little more though behind this, the Harmony Divine Yin could have been something quite remarkable.

It is made of hard plastic.  I didn’t think I was going to take to the hardness, but I wound up liking it very much.  So I have no quarrel with the material used.

The batteries (2-AAA) are easy to install.  No batteries are included in the package, which sucks.  And the battery compartment is easily closed to create what they claim is a watertight fit.  I use it in the shower, but I won’t use it in the bath. I’d just as soon not ruin this by tempting the fates, if ya know what I mean.

Harmony Divine Yin is not very powerful, but I won’t kick it out of bed.  The nipple-like button turns it on and cycles through the three speeds. The hard plastic conducts the vibration better than say a jelly toy would; so there’s that.  It’s pretty quiet too.

The serious end of Harmony Divine Yin is sort of plug-shaped and is nearly 2 inches in diameter at its widest part.  In terms of this being used as a butt plug or a prostate stimulator, it isn’t for the novice butt pirate.  However, it’s a nice external stimulator for your taint (perineum) and balls.  Because it’s hard plastic, you can sit on it with the pointy end on your rosebud while you whack off.  It gives you a nice little buzz.  If you’re gonna use it internally; lube is a necessity.  Again, because it’s hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want.  This will make the tapered end easier to insert.  Not that it’s particularly difficult for those of us who know what we’re doing.

I liked doing my kegel exercises on the Harmony Divine Yin unyielding hardness.  If you’re up for it, the ridges in the middle of the toy will provide some extra stimulation during a thrusting motion. Once it’s inserted, it can be pretty much a hands-free toy.

Clean up is super easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

One final thing, I think this is a bit pricey for a simple straightforward hard plastic vibe, especially since it’s not all that powerful.  If it were $10 less, I’d say go for it; what do you have to lose?  But for just about $10 more you’d be able get yourself a very nice, powerful silicone vibe that will probably last much longer than the Harmony Divine Yin will.

Hey sex fans,

When they hand out the awards for outstanding design in adult products, and if the Dai-Dö No 6 isn’t at the top of the list, I will want to know why.

This puppy is nothing short of revolutionary.  And get this, Dai-Dö No 6 is just one of the amazing new designs from the good people at Big Teaze Toys.

I now turn this over to the couple that knows their Big Teaze Toys, Gina & Kevin.

Dai-Dö No 6 $58.99

Gina & Kevin

Gina:  “Dr Dick is right, Kevin and I are familiar with Big Teaze Toys.  We’ve already reviewed I Rub My Duckie and I Rub My Wormie.”
Kevin:  “We still play with our Big Teaze Toys in the bath.  They never grow old.”
Gina:  “Our previous reviews were of the playful side of Big Teaze Toys. Today we bring you their sophisticated side.  Have you ever seen anything like this before?  I hadn’t.  But I’m sure glad we lucked out and scored this review.”
Kevin:  “We’ve come to expect the unexpected from Big Teaze Toys.  Like the bath toys that are fun, functional and yet real conversation pieces, Dai-Dö No 6 is all that and more.  It has a distinctive teardrop shape that is stunningly elegant.  We have the ruby red one.  It’s fashioned from a superior grade aluminum alloy and stainless steel for a lifetime of pleasure.  This also means that Dai-Dö No 6 can be both chilled and warmed to suit your mood and add to the sensations.”
Gina:  “And pleasure you will have!  You see it weighs in at nearly 12oz, which is the secret to its hands-free pleasuring capacity.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  The bulb-shaped handle is ringed with black silicone that allows you to grip it easily, even with lubed fingers.  We used water-based lube so as not to damage the silicone band.”
Kevin:  “Dai-Dö No 6 is all about G-spot and P-spot pleasuring!  Once the teardrop end is inserted in either pussy or butt-hole the weighted handle does it’s magic.  Because of its unique shape you can even use Dai-Dö No 6 as either a butt plug or a pussy plug.”
Gina:  “And here’s the kicker; this is the most perfect implement I’ve ever used for doing Kegel exercises.  You simply can’t beat it!”
Kevin:  “Gina is right!  I can flex and tone my ass muscles as well as do my Kegels.”  It’s like weight training for my asshole…literally!”
Gina:  “The same is true for my vaginal muscles; it’s brilliant.  Don’t get us wrong; like I said a bit ago, this is a potent pleasure tool.  I elevate my pelvis on some pillows, insert Dai-Dö No 6, manually position it to make love to my G-spot, then rapidly flex my vaginal muscles to make Dai-Dö No 6 bounce.  My hands were free to roam my body from nipples to clit.”
Kevin:  “I did the same thing only through the backdoor.  I can’t get over how great the heft feels.  Just contracting my sphincter make the Dai-Dö No 6 dance.”
Gina:  “It’s the ideal toy for solo play, but it’s just as functional in couple play.”
Kevin:  “And because Dai-Dö No 6 is made of a nonporous material, it’s easily sterilized for sharing. Mild soap and water to clean; a 10% bleach solution, boiling or the dishwasher to disinfect.  Obviously it’s waterproof, but you’ve already figured that out, huh?”
Gina:  “Dai-Dö No 6 comes in chic, but not excessive packaging.  The Big Teaze Toys folks also include a sweet satin pouch for storage.  I’m in love with Dai-Dö No 6.  You will be too”
Kevin:  “Take it from me, guys (or gals even).  If you’re into training your butt for all the pleasure it can deliver, there’s no finer tool than the Dai-Dö No 6.  Get one today!

ENJOY!

We’re back with Part 2 of Jada’s show and tell of the Emotional Bliss massagers from the UK.

Did you some how miss last week’s presentation?  Not to worry!  Look for it HERE!

Chandra $49.95

Jada

This little lovely is the Chandra by Emotional Bliss.   Where last week’s offering, Femblossom, was a powerful, multi-speed handful; Chandra is a cute, discreet, single-speed vibe that you wear on your finger.  It’s so adorable and petite; at first I thought it was some kind of novelty item.  I soon discovered that the Chandra is decidedly not that.  This is a fully functional personal massager that has been shrunk down to the size of your thumb (2.75 X .75 in).  It is designed to direct stimulation directly to those yummy places on your body, like nipples, clit and labia.

When I masturbate, I use my fingers; as I assume most women do.  I’m not one for vaginal insertions when I pleasure myself.  But rather I concentrate on my clitoris.  The Chandra is absolutely perfect for this purpose.  You simply attach the massager to one of the three finger clips (each clip is a different size), and that’s it.  Since it’s rechargeable, there are no cords to fuss with.  I absolutely love it.

I can direct as much stimulation I like to the precise area I want.  The Chandra certainly can be used in conjunction with a dildo if that’s what you’re into, but it’s perfect on its own.

My husband loves the Chandra, not only what it does for me but what it does for him.  To be perfectly frank, I’m only orgasmic with clitoral stimulation.  So even in intercourse, I must stimulate myself.  Sometimes this can get tiring.  Introducing a regular sized vibe can be intrusive to the intimate moment.  But there’s nothing invasive with the Chandra.  You see, wherever my finger goes, so goes my Chandra.  I can easily move from my clit to my nipples, to my husband’s nipples and then to his scrotum, then back to my clit.  My orgasms are amazingly strong, yet effortless.  It’s like I now have a bionic finger.

The Chandra is surprisingly quiet for as powerful as it is.  You can immediately tell this is a quality vibe.  Like it’s big sister, the Femblossom, the Chandra is made of non-porous medical grade TPE plastic.  It also has the same antibacterial agent incorporated in it during the manufacturing process.

The Chandra come with:

• 3 Finger Clips
• AC Adapter
  
• Water-based lube sample
• Silicone-based lube sample
• Instruction Booklet

Like the Femblossom, cleaning the Chandra can be tricky.  All you basically need is mild soap and water, but you have to be very careful not to get water (or worse lube) in the recharging port.  Because the Chandra is so small, that can be a real challenge.  I used a piece of tape to cover the port while I cleaned it.

Oh and you’ll need to charge the vibe for 12 hours before your first use.

Again, my husband and I both wholeheartedly endorse Chandra.

ENJOY!

Name: Marcus
Gender: Male
Age: 47
Location: Southeast US
I am intrigued by nipple suction pumps, but cannot find much information about their effectiveness on guys. How long do your nipples stay enlarged? Is there any risk or danger in using one of these contraptions? Thanks for any help/direction you can give!

Nipple play is fun for both women and men.  There are several ways of enlarging one’s nipples.  There are low-tech suction devices, metal stretchers and the more high-tech vacuum devices.  All of these systems are very popular.  Have a look in My Stockroom for some examples.  Just search the site using the key word “nipple”.

Wireless Vibrating Nipple Clamps (D120) $32.00
Tit Tuggers (C656) $125.00
The Titilizer (A237) $16.50
10-Piece Cupping Set (B264) $57.00
Snake Bite Kit (A300) $8.00
Nipple Suction Device (B092) $18.00

If you are a casual tit-torturer your nipples will stay enlarged for a few hours.  If you are a hardcore tit-torturer you can completely and permanently alter the look of your nipples.  Is there a risk or is there danger?  Not unless you overdo it.

Lap Dancer Harness $44.95

Soft neoprene harness adjusts that wraps around your thigh and secures with Velcro.  It holds a soft silicone dildo. Get your dollar bills ready for your private dancer.

Jack & Karen

Jack:  “The Lap Dancer Harness reminds me of a neoprene brace one uses when he has a pulled muscle.  Only this one comes with a wicked twist.  There a dildo attached.”
Karen:  “You wrap this cuff around your thigh with the dong on the top of your leg and away ya go!”
Jack:  “Karen put on a little strip show for me and a couple of our swinger friends, Mark and Linda.  We were all cheering her on with wolf whistles and cat calls.”
Karen:  “As I got down to my thong, Linda decided to join me, which drove the men wild.  I was kissing Linda and tweaking her nipples through her red-lace nightie.”
Jack:  “The girls were getting into it so much with each other, I had to remind them of the Lap Dancer Harness.
Karen:  “I approached Jack and began to orally service the dong that was thrust out there waiting for me.  I then straddled his leg facing away from him and slipped the dong in my pussy.  While I rode Jack’s leg I reached out and pulled Linda closer till I could lick her wet snatch.
Jack:  “Mark decided to get into the act with some backdoor action on Linda.  And I had hold of Karen’s tits while she jerked me off.
Karen:  “A better lap dance was never given…or received!”
Jack:  “It’s amazing how something as simple as the Lap Dancer Harness can transform a ordinary encounter into something very special indeed.”
Karen:  “We all got off, literally and figuratively, on the whole stripper role play.  I’m thinking there are still other yet undiscovered ways to use this harness and dildo.  I may just have to strap it on my knee and sink it in Jack’s ass one of these fine days.
We love all our new Sportsheets toys.  Thanks Dr Dick!”

ENJOY!

Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs $18.95

Just lay the weighted straps over door, close it shut.  Turn any room into a playground for kinky bondage play!  Tease or please, control or be controlled –– now it’s easy!  Each thick nylon strap is connected to a detachable and adjustable velour-lined Velcro cuff.  You get 2 cuffs in a package.  Buy 2 pairs for total control!

Gina & Kevin

Gina:  “Kevin and I had a ball with this.”
Kevin:  “First off, we are both virgins to the bondage thing.”
Gina:  “I have to say I was more than a little intimidated by the concept of being restrained.  So I agreed to go first only when Kevin agreed to go next.”
Kevin:  “I was like totally up for that.  I even offered to go first.  Except Gina didn’t have a clue what to do once I was in the cuffs.”
Gina:  “I guess I need to watch more kinky porn, huh?”
Kevin:  “So here’s what ya do. Just loop the straps over the top of the door with these bars on the outside and the cuffs on the inside.  Then close the door.  What could be easier?”
Gina:  “I didn’t think the Velcro on the cuffs would be strong enough to secure me especially if I struggled against them.  I was oh so wrong.  I was like totally helpless.”
Kevin:  “I could see that Gina was really leery about doing this, so I wanted to make this first experience really enjoyable.  First, I had her face out with her back against the door.  This gave me access to her front.  I undid her bra and sucked on he nipples.  She loves when I do this.”
Gina:  “I do love it.  Strangely enough, I don’t ever recall experienced this while standing.  I’m always laying down when he plays with my nipples.  With my hands suspended above my head in the cuffs, I actually found myself buckling my knees and dangling my body weight from my wrists, which added a whole new dimension to the sensations in my breasts.”
Kevin:  “I then pulled down her panties, spread her thighs and held them tight.  (This is where a second set of these cuffs would have come in handy.) Then I proceeded to lick and nibble at her clit and pussy lips.  I gave her a mighty fine tongue fucking too.  I drove her fuckin crazy doin that.”
Gina:  “It’s true.  Suspended as I was and with his hands holding my legs, I really couldn’t escape his mouth.  I had to adjust to being helpless like this.  But once I let go, I was thrashing about with waves of orgasmic pleasure.  I wonder what the neighbors thought.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, she was totally out of control.  I was pretty worked up myself.  So I decided to throw her a fuck right then and there, up against the door.”
Gina:  “When he entered me I was able to lift my legs off the floor and wrap them around him.  And I did it all while being suspended by my wrists.  All this was totally new territory for me.”
Kevin:  “We had to wait for another day for me to get cuffed.  Gina was just too worn out by her time in the cuffs.”
Gina:  “When it was Kevin’s turn two days later, I decided to cuff him facing the door.  I added a silk scarf blindfold.  He was mine, all mine!”
Kevin:  “I was completely surprised by how Gina took to being a dominant top.  She apparently has a real sadistic streak that was just waiting to be released.”
Gina:  “He’s right, I became like this other person.  I loved telling him what to do — spread your legs — and things like that.
I went to work on his butt.  Teasing it at first with little scratches, but then I could see he wanted more.  So by-god I gave it to him.  Open handed slaps and even whacks with one of my hairbrushes make his cheeks glow crimson.”
Kevin:  “She was yankin on my nuts like crazy while she was tanning my ass.  I loved it.  I believe I’ve created a novice dominatrix.”
Gina:  “I know, who would have guessed I’d get into this as much as I did?  These little Door Jam Cuffs open a whole new world to me and us.  These will be a big part of our play together in the future.  And we definitely need that second pair for our feet.”

Name: Jimmy
Gender: male
Age: 32
Location: Little Rock
I’m really getting into my nipples lately. I have a snake bite kit that I’ve been using to lengthen my nips. Any other gadgets of this sort that you can recommend?

You betcha! Jimmy! Meet your new best friends, The Tit Tuggers (C656) These babies consist of a pair of erotic nickel plated breast and nipple torture devices specially designed to pinch and pull the tits. The Tit Tuggers are pleasurably painful and playful, and even though they pinch hard they feel good.

The Tit Tuggers work by first clamping the clothes-pin style pincher to the nipple. The clamper is fastened to a stem and together they measure a total length of 61⁄4”. The stem is threaded.

The curved metal arch of the Tit Tugger has an opening in the center for the stem to fit through and a wing nut on the outside hold it in place. The stem can be pulled through and tightened to pull the nipple out up to a total of 11⁄2”. Yowsa!

The Tit Tuggers are sold in pairs.