Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples

Name: Tessa
Gender: Female
Age: 33
Location: Sherman Oaks
My husband and I are taking our first tentative steps into the world of kink. Unfortunately, we really don’t know what we’re doing. Are there any good guides out there for the novice kinkster?

I have just the thing for you and the hubby! Check it out — Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples.c404.jpg

This book is written for the fetishist, for their lovers and for anyone who wants to maximize a fetish or figure out if he/she has a fetish. It will help the budding fetishist “come out” about his/her kink, and find a community of like-minded folks.

This handy guide demystifies and breaks down the definition of a fetish, takes the time to explain why fetishes are alluring and what to do when one is curious about how to play with that fetish. The volume’s author, Violet Blue is the best…well besides dr dick, that is. She is frank, friendly and full of practical advice. There are even erotic short stories by Thomas Roche to tantalize and inspire.

Role-playing, Fetish Dressing, Cross Dressing, Human Animal Play and Medical Play are some of the topics covered in this informative and entertaining couple-centered guide.

Good luck

The Dual Motion, Handheld Sex Machine

Name: Monster
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Location: Albuquerque
I’ve tried so many sex toys over the years only to find that most of them are shit. Do you know of any toys that are not just ridiculous novelties? I want something for the industrial strength toy user.

You betcha! Here’s one you can kick-start…well almost. But you will need a powerc367.jpg tool — The Dual Motion, Handheld Sex Machine.

This fucking machine is the smallest, handiest, most versatile handheld device and it’s affordable. Your can connect this Sex Machine to any Fleshlight or Vac-U-Lock dildo for exciting hands-free multi-speed solo sex. The device is lightweight, quiet, safe and feels fantastic.

It thrusts and it rotates! Its unique dual action reciprocation and optional rotation moves up to 300 revolutions per minute and has a 3″ linear thrust. It is powered by a cordless electric screwdriver or drill. (Not included.) It is easily disassembled for cleaning, storage and installation of upgrades, and is dishwasher safe.

The quality construction sets itself apart from other fucking machines, and it comes with a one-year manufacturer’s warranty against breakage, wear and tear. How does that sound, Monster? If you wear it out, they’ll replace the parts and put you in their hall of fame!

Supplied in an easy-to-assemble kit form, it comes with full instructions. It takes about 15 minutes to assemble. The plastic parts are all polycarbonate (what bullet-proof windows are made of) and the metal parts are all stainless steel.

The Dragon Lady Mask

Name: Matti
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location: CTc008.jpg
The BF and I are looking forward to Halloween. I know, I know, we’re not even back to school yet. But hey, can a gal ever be too prepared? Our sorority has an annual masquerade party and I plan on wearing this totally hot red satin bustier. But I need something else. Where do I look for something naughty, but nice…something no one else will have?

Girl, why don’t we just start our Christmas shopping now? Holy cow, you are gettin way ahead of me. But never fear, I took a look in the Stockroom and found just the thing — The Dragon Lady Mask.

The Dragon Lady Mask is a hand-molded, hand-painted leather mask that extends out into playful points and swirls, with distinct red, black and white painted markings.

Designed to shape the contours of the face, this mask has an unearthly, yet realistic expression and decorative personality.

Good Luck

Latex Chaps with Side Stripes

Once again, I have the pleasure of introducing all you perverts and pervettes to some very appealing playthings. Thanks to my inquisitive correspondents and my very own, Dr Dick’s Stockroom, I’m able to bring you yet another installment of my ever so popular, Sex Toy Awareness feature.r099.jpg

Name: Terrance
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Location: Baltimore
I’m in the mood for something new, distinctive and fun. I’ve done the whole leather thing. But now, since everyone is doing it, it’s so trite. The new wave seems to be rubber. What do you think?

You are so right, Terrance darling. Leather is so last year. Latex, on the other hand is so very au currant! I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you are gay, Gay, GAY! Gayer even than Senator Craig in a public crapper. Who else but a real ‘mo would dare to set himself up as the arbiter of current fetish fashion? We’ll you’re in luck. Lookie here — Latex Chaps w/ Side Stripes.

These classic motorcycle-style chaps are made from the finest quality 40 gauge black rubber with 30 gauge latex colored trim. The snap front waistband and lace-up back allow for a custom fit.

Heavy-duty black zippers give the chaps strength to contain even a body builder’s thighs! (Mmmm, body builder thighs!) This body-flattering cut will lift, push out, and support the rear and show off your package. You do have a nice ass and big package, don’t you Terrance? For a hot night of playing in gear, these chaps always allow for easy access to your assets.

Choose stripes in Yellow, White or Red. The Classic Rubber Latex jockstrap is sold separately.

Rolling Head Cup Masturbator by Tenga

Hey sex Fans!

Dr Dick had the dubious pleasure of test-driving one of these babies earlier this week.  In short, this product is crap, of the first order.  Let me recount my torturous adventure to prove my point.

I have some basic standards by which I judge a sex toy.  First among them is; does the blasted thing do what it says it’s supposed to?  The Rolling Head Cup Masturbator ($22.99) arrived on my doorstep with absolutely no packaging, save the red plastic label that sealed the bottom of the unit.  I’m not a big fan of excessive packaging.  But hey, Tenga ought to have included some instructions on how to use this contraption.

Being the clever and resourceful guy I am, I decided to remove the label and look inside.  Still, I wasn’t sure what to do next.

  • Here’s a tip for all you sex toy designers out there.  When designing a toy to mimic or augment a sexual practice that us men folks have been doing just fine since time began with the two hands we were created with; you’d better come up with something that is equally intuitive or don’t fuckin’ bother.  OK?

Once I removed the red label I found a very soft perforated styrofoam base that was oozing something slippery.  To my great astonishment, the cup was already lubed up, as it were.  Rather than this being a thoughtful design ploy, I was put off by this.  I had no idea what kind of lube this was.  What if I was allergic to this type of lube, or it wasn’t my lube of choice?  Not a good idea, this!

I decided to look past the pre-lubed issue to figure out what I was supposed to do next.  Obviously, I was to insert my precious stiffy into this gooey mess, but how was I supposed to get past the styrofoam base?  There was, of course, a little hole, but there was also the styrofoam plug.  Was I supposed to remove the plug?  I did, but I don’t think I was supposed to.  I think I was supposed to push the plug into the unit with my dickhead.  Removing the plug, as I did, just added to the gooey mess.  This also destabilized the remaining soft styrofoam base, which began to sluff off from the rest of the insides.  This left no protection from the hard plastic edge of the unit.  Here I am 15 minutes into this ill-fated exercise and I have yet to even get my dick wet.  This was not going well.

  • A second tip for all you sex toy designers out there.  When designing a toy to put around a guy’s hardon, the one-size-fits-all concept is a real bad idea.  Or the product should be labeled accordingly.

Gummy mess aside, I was bound and determined to press forward.  And as it turned out, that’s precisely what I had to do.  I had to press and press and then press some more.  Anticipation turned to frustration, then aggravation.  If I hadn’t been wearing a cockring during this second-rate encounter, my willie would have surely gone to sleep from boredom.

Now my dick isn’t super sized or anything, but there was no way Mr Wonderful was just gonna fit inside this contraption.  Instead, I inserted my index finger to get a sense of the capacity of this puppy.  The textured jelly masturbation sleeve inside will only gonna accommodate a cock the girth of my finger, not much more.  DISAPPOINTED!

I never was able to find out if there was any benefit to the pleated band on the cup’s midriff that is supposed to allow the device to flex enough to move in circles, or bend side to side, or even up and down.  By the time I finally gave up, I had nothing to show for my efforts but a goopy mess.  The lube was now mixed with what I guessed was some kind of adhesive that was supposed to have held the soft perforated styrofoam base in place.  Which it did not do.

Finally, had this miserable thing actually worked, and I was able to stimulate myself to a jizz-filled happy ending, there would have been no way for me to clean this device for a second go.  So basically the unwary consumer would be paying thirty-plus bucks for a one-use wonder.

To sum up, what we have here is an over priced, ineffectual, ill-conceived, poorly designed rip off.

Cyberskin Penis Extension

Name: Jeremy Taylor
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Bangor Maine
I have a problem with my penis size. I don’t think it’s long enough to give a woman pleasure. You keep saying there’s no help for us little guys. What are we supposed to do?

a989.jpgYou may have misunderstood my previous advice about cock enhancement devices, creams, pills and patches. That shit don’t work. But that’s not to say that you can’t augment what you have down there with a little creativity and the help of the Cyberskin Penis Extension (A989). Take a look at this, pup.

The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in dildos and cock extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (11⁄2″ or 3″) extension is much firmer. It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside, ya know like a real cock!

Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of this extension are designed to create a realistic effect as well. And it looks realistic… and feels more realistic.

There’s a trick to putting this extension on: You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the (11⁄2″ or 3″) extension. Then place it against the head of your hard dick, roll down the sleeve snugly around your cock, sealing your johnson inside the sleeve. A partial seal will form, helping the extension stay on during fucking.

Wearing this extension will add to both the length and thickness of the dong. It will of course reduce the sensation in your dick during fucking, but that’s not always a bad thing, especially for guys with a real short fuse. Besides, a lot of guys like the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the sleeve.