Clone-A-Willy Kit Glow in the Dark —— $44.95
Ken & Denise
Ken: “We didn’t exactly know what we were getting into with this Clone-A-Willy Kit. It promises a lifelike replica of my dick that would Glow in the Dark. I was game, at least initially.”
Denise: “Yeah, we thought it would be a fun little project full of laughs. Well that’s how it started out anyway.”
Ken: “Since I was the one being ‘molded’, the pressure was on me to maintain an erection under less than erotic …

Clone-A-Willy Kit Original —— $39.95
Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “What’s more fun than buying yourself a sex toy? Making your own, that’s what.”
Hank: “Glenn nearly wet himself when he caught sight of the Clone-A-Willy Kit. He can’t help it; he fancies himself a regular Martha Stewart. I swear this man can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
Glenn: “Awww, see how you are? Isn’t he sweet? It’s true though, I got an instant hardon thinking about cloning Hank’s willie.”
Hank: “At first I thought, damn, my hog ain’t gonna fit in …

Silicone Taffy Tickler Water G —— $25.19
Karen
I took the Silicone Taffy Tickler Water G from its packaging hoping against hope that the prickly surface of the toy would be soft and pliable. But my hopes were soon dashed. I wondered to myself; who designed this thing, the Marquis de Sade? And if the Taffy Tickler is really made of silicone as the package says, I’ll eat my hat. It doesn’t feel or smell like any of the other quality silicone toys I own.
The Taffy …

Candy Stick, Grape —— $ 70.00
Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “It’s been a while since we’ve had an opportunity to post a review for you guys.”
Joy: “Yep, it’s been two-plus months. But we have an excuse; we’ve been on the road. We sometimes get fed up with our day jobs and just say fuck it. We hop in our RV and hit the road. It does a person good to simply get up and go.”
Dixie: “But here’s the thing; despite our footloose wanderlust, …

BODY HEAT Self Warming Vibe —— $250.28
Jada
About 10 years ago, when I was still a sweet impressionable young thing, I briefly dated (2 times) this guy who drove this totally pimped out Hummer. I mean this thing was obscenely gauche. Besides being a outrageous monument to conspicuous consumption, it was also extremely loud and ridiculously uncomfortable. It was like riding in a tank. And I practically needed a stepladder to enter and exit the behemoth. I felt like I was getting in and out …

MONA Red —— $139
Angie
I’ve been watching for and reading about how many of my fellow Review Crew members have been enjoying their LELO toys. I don’t mind telling you that I have been more than a little envious of my friends, their toys and all the fun they’ve had. But now I finally have my very own LELO to tell you about.
This beautiful Pleasure Object is called MONA. And she is all LELO. By that I mean she comes in her own LELO signature packaging. …

Nipplettes Purple —— $20.45
Jack & Karen
Jack: “So here’s some fun for everyone.Nipplettes are cute vibrating tit clamps.”
Karen: “They are adjustable, although they never really clamp all that tightly. Which makes them great for beginners. They are easy to operate; a simple one push-button control turns them on and off. There’s just the one speed.”
Jack: “Nipplettes don’t have a very strong bullet vibe either. But I guess novice players wouldn’t want the vibration to be all that strong anyway, right?”
Karen: “Nipplettes look …

Rainbow – Strawberry —— $ 70.00
Madora
I’ve never been in love with an inanimate object before. In fact, I’ve honestly never really cared for vibrators all that much, my sensitive parts don’t often agree with them and in my previous experience they make poor substitutes for the real thing. This is so not so with my new PAPAYA Toy! First off I have to say the texture is amazing. Amazing! Soft, durable, wonderful silicone, 100% medical grade I might add. Hallelujah! The model I have is called …

Rechargeable Infrared Playpal —— $23.43
Jada
What we have here is a 7-inch, hard plastic, waterproof, rechargeable, dual-speed vibe. And if California Exotic, the manufacturer of the Rechargeable Infrared Playpal, had left it at that I’d have a sturdy basic vibe that I could recommend.
Unfortunately they decided to add some kind of cockamamie infrared heating element on the tip of the massager and they messed up the whole damn thing in the process.
Not only does the heating element not noticeably warm up, but in order to place it in the …

Titanmen Vibrations #3 Master —— $21.87
Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “First off; Hank and I are Titan Media’s biggest fans. You don’t know Titan Media? Get with it, fuckers! They’re about the best gay porn producers out there. Check it out. And a big shout out to our favorite Titan star, Tony Buff.”
Hank: “The reason Glenn said what he did about Titan Media is because today we have one of their signature toys to review. It’s called the Titanmen Vibrations #3 Master. …