The Heartbreaker by XHale Glass

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaftx351 are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

Awesome Blossom by Doc Johnson

Awesome Blossom —— $46.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “We have a beauty for you this week.  It’s called Awesome Blossom.”
Joy:  “We are like totally getting into glass insertables.  Six months ago we didn’t own a one.  Now we do though.”
Dixie:  “Yep, we are now the proud owners of three glass dildos.  And they are Sex_Toys_DJ029208spectacular.  There is something about glass that really turns my crank.”
Joy:  “Awesome Blossom is made of tempered glass.  If you treat it with respect, as you would any fine adult toy, this thing will last a lifetime.”
Dixie:  “Glass is so practical.  There are no batteries to run down; nothing to recharge.  It’s ready when you are.”
Joy:  “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap.  For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine.  You can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. However, if you’re gonna share your Awesome Blossom or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended.  Slip it into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go.  Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  And we’re all about sharing.”
Joy:  “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our gay-boy friends, that Awesome Blossom makes a wonderful ass play toy too.  You see it has a base on it that will keep it from popping into your pooper.  The base also lets us use it in our harness.  So there’s that!”
Dixie:  “You can either chill or warm this beauty.  And when it comes to lube; any lube will do.  Regardless what kind of lube you choose, just know that a little goes a very long way.”
Joy:  “In our rush to tell you all the features of glass, we have yet to describe Awesome Blossom.  Atop the spiraled, clear-green shaft there is a clear teardrop shaped head.  Inside the head is a three-dimensional image of a flower.  The flower is a kind of wildflower, I would guess.  The kind that blankets a meadow in the spring. It’s really sweet and lovely.”
Dixie:  “The shaft is just over 1″ in diameter.  The head is only a bit larger at about 1 1/4″ in diameter. The whole thing is just under 8” tall. There’s a bit of a curve to the shaft which make it perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.
Joy:  “We LOVE our awesome Awesome Blossom! We both highly recommend this toy.”
Dixie:  “There is only one drawback.  This beautiful, beautiful functional art piece does not come with a storage pouch.  What’s up with that?  It certainly deserves one.  We wrap ours in a towel to keep it safe when it’s not punishing our pussies.  You’ll want to do the same.”
Joy:  “This would make the ideal gift for someone special.”

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex, DVD

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex ——  $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right?  I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen:  “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack:  “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen:  “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”DVDVIVID1277
Jack:  “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time.  I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen:  “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack:  “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review.  It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen:  “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners.  International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing.  There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack:  “It is both super arousing and very informative.  This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal.  What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end?  Bummer.”
Karen:  “That is so true!  But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted.  For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack:  “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature.  I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it.  This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
Karen:  “I like how toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up to cock penetration.  I know from my own experiences with anal sex that foreplay is essential.”
Jack:  “I was also kind of surprised that there was little mention of the increased risks of sexually transmitted diseases with anal sex.  NO CONDOMS WERE USED IN THIS MOVIE!  What’s up with that?  Maybe they didn’t want to scare people who may be considering including anal in their monogamous couple sex.  There is a safer sex mini-feature included on the DVD, but I thought there could have been more in the feature itself.”
Karen:  “There’s also a featurette on anal hygiene, which I found informative.”
Jack:  “I really got off on the hot, hot, hot girl-on-girl bonus scene.  Finally a little strap-on action!”
Karen:  “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for women considering anal sex.  Guys who are interested in exploring their bottom need to look elsewhere.”

Rachel’s Neoprene Harness

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy:  “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie:  “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”jp229.jpg
Joy:  “I loves me my strap-ons!  I have quite a collection.  Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie:  “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy:  “It is that!  It is also reversible and machine washable.  I love that part.  I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie:  “It’s also fully adjustable.  It would have to be to fit both Joy and I.  We have such different body types.”
Joy:  “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner.  It’s inexpensive, yet practical.  You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this.  She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy:  “You go, Danna!!  Give it to him good.”
Dixie:  “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products.  We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy:  “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone.  See ya in the New Year.”

Lap Dancer Harness

Lap Dancer Harness $44.95

Soft neoprene harness adjusts that wraps around your thigh and secures with Velcro.  It holds a soft silicone dildo. Get your dollar bills ready for your private dancer.

Jack & Karen

Jack:  “The Lap Dancer Harness reminds me of a neoprene brace one uses when he has a pulled muscle.  Only this one comes with a wicked twist.  lap_dancer_thigh_harness.jpgThere a dildo attached.”
Karen:  “You wrap this cuff around your thigh with the dong on the top of your leg and away ya go!”
Jack:  “Karen put on a little strip show for me and a couple of our swinger friends, Mark and Linda.  We were all cheering her on with wolf whistles and cat calls.”
Karen:  “As I got down to my thong, Linda decided to join me, which drove the men wild.  I was kissing Linda and tweaking her nipples through her red-lace nightie.”
Jack:  “The girls were getting into it so much with each other, I had to remind them of the Lap Dancer Harness.
Karen:  “I approached Jack and began to orally service the dong that was thrust out there waiting for me.  I then straddled his leg facing away from him and slipped the dong in my pussy.  While I rode Jack’s leg I reached out and pulled Linda closer till I could lick her wet snatch.
Jack:  “Mark decided to get into the act with some backdoor action on Linda.  And I had hold of Karen’s tits while she jerked me off.
Karen:  “A better lap dance was never given…or received!”
Jack:  “It’s amazing how something as simple as the Lap Dancer Harness can transform a ordinary encounter into something very special indeed.”
Karen:  “We all got off, literally and figuratively, on the whole stripper role play.  I’m thinking there are still other yet undiscovered ways to use this harness and dildo.  I may just have to strap it on my knee and sink it in Jack’s ass one of these fine days.
We love all our new Sportsheets toys.  Thanks Dr Dick!”

ENJOY!

SHARE by Fun Factory


SHARE by Fun Factory  — $124.00

Whoa sex fans, look what the folks at Fun Factory sent me!

What we have here is what they call SHARE. It’s big, it’s shareable and it is oh so purple (also comesshare.jpeg in black and pink). It is also pretty fuckin’ revolutionary, don’t cha know, but more about that in a minute.

Once I had this baby in my hands, I knew for certain that I would be hard pressed to review this device on my own. I’d have to find someone, configured slightly different than myself, if ya catch my drift. I simply don’t have the right parts to put this amazing apparatus through its paces and to review it properly.

When faced with a situation like this, I inevitably turn to my best gal pal, my #1 friend of the lesbian persuasion — Joy. Those who visit Dr Dick Sex Advice often probably already have heard me speak of Joy. For those of you who don’t visit here often, you’ve missed out. Ya see; Joy is my go-to person for all things vaginal. Not only does she have her very own pussy, she sure as hell knows her way around other pussies as well.

I rang her up the other day and told her she needed to rush right over. She wanted to know what was up. I told her it was toy review time. She said, “Ho hum! Another prostate stimulator?” I said, “No way, girlfriend, it’s a strapless strap-on!” I could practically hear her mind straining to wrap around that oxymoron. “Say what?” “You heard me. You gotta check this out; you’re not gonna believe your eyes.”

I happen to know that my pal, Joy, is a strap-on kinda dyke. Some lesbians aren’t, and I’m like totally OK with that. I also happen to know that Joy, bein’ the big gal she is, has had a hard time finding a comfortable strap-on harness that fits properly and does not bind or crimp. (I hear from a lot of women who like the idea of a strap-on, but find them too confining and uncomfortable.) Even when Joy found a relatively comfortable harness, it still cramped her style. She told me that she just figured that this was the price a chick paid for the pleasure of pluggin’ someone like a guy.

All the traditional difficulty and discomfort of a harness strap-on vanish with the truly revolutionary SHARE. I kid you not. Joy immediately realized this remarkable toy’s potential. Once she laid eyes on this purple wonder, she proclaimed with delight; “Damn, if this don’t give you all the privilege of a penis without devaluing a vagina.” Leave it to Joy to sum things up in a single sentence.

For those of you who have yet to figure this out, just by lookin at this marvel, SHARE is a wearable double dildo made of 100% medical-grade Silicone. This is surely a toy for two.

Check it out, the vagina ownin’ partner inserts the shorter, more bulbous end into her who-ha. The shape of this insertable part is sure to stimulate her G-spot, don’t cha know. But that’s not all; there is an upward curve to the protruding cock-end of this device that’ll sure enough wind up smack-dab on your clit once the bulbous insert is in place. But wait, there’s more!

Once the vagina owin’ partner has the bulbous end of SHARE properly situated in her pussy; she now has an ample 6+ inches of veiny cock to pretty much use as would any proud owner of a real schlong. And that, my friends, is about some of the best news I’ve heard in quite some time.

Kudos to the Fun Factory folks for coming up with this amazing design. I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that SHARE was invented by a woman or women. I just can’t see a man, even a cool, with it, female pleasin’ kinda dude puttin’ 2 and 2 together to make somethin’ this remarkable. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

Anyhow, back to Joy and her toy. Since I wasn’t about to hand over this treasure without something in return; I told Joy that I wanted a blow-by-blow description of her usage. She was to spare me none of the gory details. “It’s a deal!” She said as she sashayed out the door.

It was only a matter of hours till I received the first bulletin. Joy wanted to remind me to tell you that ya can only use water-based lube with a silicone toy like this. Good point! Silicone-based lubes will dissolve your silicone toys.

Next, she said that having the SHARE implanted in her pussy was like nothing else she’d ever experienced. She said there was no comparison to her strap-on. “With a traditional strap-on, you have something ON you — comfortable or not. With the SHARE, you have something IN you. And that makes all the difference in the world.” She continued; “I now understand why men swagger about when they parade around with a hardon. As I walked around with my big purple weenie swingin’ out in front of me, I could feel it rooted inside me. As it bounced it stimulated my G-spot and clit.”

share.jpg

She did say that the new sensations — the protruding cock and the fullness inside her took some getting used to. She said she discovered the SHARE really worked her PC muscles, which is an added and unanticipated benefit. She couldn’t wait to pound her GF and then flip-flop for a reciprocal pounding BY her. You go girls!

A couple days later, I got the entire low-down. Joy was full of superlatives — awesome, amazing, and cocky were some of the words she used. “The GF and I never felt so close. One thing though, while I had no problem inserting the “wearer’s” end in me; Barbara did. It’s a pretty hefty girth. But then again, she’s just a little thing!” “OK, thanks for sharing,” I responded. “Well you told me not to spare you the gory details, remember?” I had to chuckle.

Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your SHARE, or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended. Drop the item into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go again. Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up. That’s what’s so great about silicone. Undoubtedly, it costs a bit more, but it is sooo worth it.

One final word. Just in case some of you need this spelled out for you; the SHARE is the ideal toy for your average straight couple too. You don’t have to be queer to take delight in switching roles. And ladies, won’t your man be surprised when he climbs in bed, pulls back the covers to gaze upon your loveliness only to discover that you have a big purple (black or pink) cock protruding from your pussy.

Pegging your man’s ass, like the bitch he is, has never been so fun and easy. No straps! No harness! Simply insert your part in you and tap his booty till your heart’s content!

ENJOY