Sexercise ME

Sexerciseball (alone)    $79.00

Micka Butt Plug (package)    $169.00

Precious (package)        $169.00

Hey Sex Fans!

Ya know what I like?  I like it when someone has the balls to put novel back into novelty.   That’s what I like.  And boy-oh-boy have I discovered a truly novel novelty.

Allow me to introduce you to the Sexerciseball.  I mean really, who woulda thunk?  Apparently the good people at SexerciseMe (those wacky folks from down under) have the BALLS…literally and figuratively.

Anyone who has spent even a few hours in a gym in the past 10 years will immediately recognize sexerciseball.jpgthe Sexerciseball…well at least the big round ball part of it.  That’s right, it’s one of them blasted exercise thingies that your personal trainer makes you do crunches on and leg lifts with.

If you’ve actually been forced to use one of these muthers, ya know to tone your abs and tighten you ass, as I have.  Then you’ll appreciate the subversively clever re-purposing of this torture device into an apparatus of sheer pleasure.

My hat is off to the folks at SexerciseMe.  I was just thinking to myself, what kind of a feverishly demented mind conjure up a clever concept like this?  One thing for sure, the mind that was responsible for this wasn’t focused on his/her exercises, that’s for damned sure.

I wonder, was he/she sweating his/her tits off, workin’ her glutes or his abs when the ta-daa moment hit?  How deliciously perverse!  Regardless how it happened, we are all the happy beneficiaries.

So here’s the lowdown.  The Sexerciseball is an actual anti-burst 65cm exercise ball, just like the ones you find in the gym.  It even has decals on it demonstrating some of the swell exercises you can do with it.  But this particular ball has a secret compartment.  The compartment is cleverly disguised by a color-coded screw cap that will fool everyone into thinking you’ve finally gotten serious about fitness.  But the joke’s will be on them, don’t cha know!

Unscrew the cap and replace it with one of the four available vibrating sex toys and you got yourself a top shelf pleasure provider.  So that when you play, alone or with others, you’ll have that all-important “bounce that counts” that will add to the fun.

Dr Dick had the pleasure of testing two of the available vibrating sex toys — The Micka Butt Plug and Precious.  Not one to hog all the fun for myself, I decided to share my good fortune with a friend.  Brad is a personal trainer with a knockout body and a wicked sense of humor.  He took to the Sexerciseball like a pig to shit!

In fact, Brad was so eager to take the Micka Butt Plug for a ride, that he didn’t let me finish micka-with-package.jpgpointing out all the joys to be had.  Ok, I thought to myself, let’s do it his way.  I screwed the Micka Butt Plug attachment into the ball and stood back.  Brad’s muscled ass devoured the plug and he began to bounce and wiggle.

What Brad didn’t know was that the Mika vibrates and I held the wireless remote control in my hand.  While he was distracted grinding his ass cheeks into the ball, I hit the “on” button.  I though Brad was gonna go through the roof.  He let out a yelp and flew off the ball.  He tumbled to the floor, his gym shorts in a twist around his ankles.  It was hysterical.  I figured this was pay back time for all the torture he puts his clients through on regular exercise ball.

Once Brad knew the sucker vibrated he was ready for another go.  Only this time he held the remote control.  It was a sight to behold.  I just sat there in utter amazement as this hunky stud got his freak on.  He rotated through the 6 vibe and pulse modes and groaned with mounting lust.  Then shot a wad of spunk over his shoulder and on to the oriental carpet.  DAMN that was amazing!  But who’s gonna clean that up?

Precious was next.  There was no way I was gonna sit down on the 6×5 cock shaped dildo, because I didn’t have to and no one was gonna make me.  So there!

However, using one of the decal exercise diagrams on the ball as an example, I laid down on my precious-with-package-v2.jpgback with the ball between me and the wall.  I wrapped my legs around the ball, lifted the ball and positioned Precious so it landed on my taint (perineum) just behind my balls.  I flipped on the remote and worked the vibrator through its 6 different vibe/pulse modes.  Using my legs, I was able to roll the ball down and closer, then up and farther away.  I squeezed my legs together with Precious between my manly thighs and enjoyed the show.

I discovered that by doing this I was working my PC muscles, which is a bonus.  I figure, if you can get some health benefits with your diddle, it’s better than diddling without!

I tried several other positions before returning to the original, on my back, position for the big finish.  In no time at all I was to the point of no return, so I just let loose and had a heart-thumping orgasm.  Luckily, I had the good sense to put down a towel before I started so that I would spare my carpet another indignity.

One of the really great things about the Sexerciseball is that it’s so freakin versatile.  And two can play just as well as one.

Brad and I both enjoyed ourselves immeasurably.  He was certain he’d invest in a Sexerciseball for use with his “private” personal training clients.  I can see it all now!

newvibratoroffer.jpg

To wrap thing up I want to give you a heads-up on some important details.

  • If you decide to purchase one of these marvels, look for the package deals.  They are your best buy option.  The packages come with the insert of your choice and everything else (including the ball) that you’ll need.
  • Happily, your first ride is FREE!  A set of batteries is included when you buy a package deal.
  • I still suggest that you stock up on batteries, because you’re gonna need ‘em. You’re gonna have so much fun, you’ll need to replace the 5 AAA batteries regularly.  And here’s a tip:  don’t leave the battery pack in the vibrator insert between play sessions.  The batteries will go dead over night if you do.
  • Use only water-based lube in your play.
  • Be careful — things will get mighty slippery once you get the lube goin’.  If you lose your balance on the ball and one of the inserts is up your ass or in your pussy, you could get hurt.
  • Inserts are made of Thermal Plastic Rubber, which is odorless, hygienic and phthalate free.
  • The inserts are NOT immersible. But clean up is easy with soap and warm water.

Remember, the vibrating inserts can be used independently of the ball, which doubles their versatility.  Of course, the ball can be used as a stand-alone exercise ball too.  But who in the world would want to do that.  I mean, if your personal trainer isn’t forcing you to do it; why bother, right?  😉

Finally, you know how I always give extra points to products that are cleverly designed.  This Aussie invention gets those extra points for sure.  But I’m also gonna add even more points because they’ve gone out of their way to create a sex toy that you can hide in plain site.  And that, sex fans, makes my day.

ENJOY

Vergenza Mk. I


The Vergenza Mk. I $140.00

“I can’t believe you want me to stick this beautiful thing in my ass!” That’s my friend Ken talkin’ to me as he slowly removes the Vergenza Mk. I from its stylish velvet pouch and lazily rolls it around in his hands. “It is stunning, isn’t it? I say with equal admiration. “But hey, why shouldn’t your ass (or someone’s pussy) be treated to something this beautiful all the time?” Ken nods in agreement. “Yeah, that’s right; my ass deserves the best!”

Thus, I’m happy to report, a love affair was born.

vergenza01.jpg

Ken is, as we say here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the consummate B.O.B. (Big Old Bottom)! His hole is the center of his universe. Where other men are dick-centric; Ken is decidedly ass-centric. Not only does he know his way around his butt, but he has trained many others to savor the intense pleasure only butt play can produce. And Ken promises that one of his trainees, his sometime play partner Denise, will enjoy this beauty. So I knew at once that Ken would be the idea person to put the Vergenza Mk. I through its paces.

Before we get to far ahead of ourselves, I want to lay before you the vision that is the Vergenza Mk. I. It is composed of aircraft-quality spun aluminum — a safe, non-porous and sterile material. It is eight inches long and one and one-quarter inches wide. It weighs in at nearly a pound. (We will soon discover that this heft is gonna come in handy, but I digress.)

As you can see from the photo this beauty is a double header. Each end is sculpted into a different configuration and each end is insertable. The six consecutive orbs on the one end provide a delightfully bumpy ride to heaven. The opposite end is a shorter, sleekly tapered, smooth insert. You’ll also notice that each end not only functions as a dildo, but also as a plug. There is a difference, you know.

Notice the traditional notch and tapering that allows one’s sphincter to close around it and lock either end into place. That, sex fans, is what transforms a common dildo into a butt-plug. (Again, this little tidbit will cum into play when we hear back from Ken.)

For those unfamiliar with the concept of a metal insertable you are missing out. This high-grade aluminum is unbeatable in terms of smoothness and versatility. It’s nontoxic and it’s the easiest material to keep sanitary, because it’s nonporous. Unlike that other exceptionally versatile material, glass, aluminum will not break or shatter. And the Vergenza Mk. I is domestically manufactured, so you’ll never have to worry about where it came from, who made it, under what conditions, or the quality of the materials used. And considering the state of a lot of imported sex toys these days; that’s a huge relief.

Everyday cleanup is a snap with soap and water. To sterilize simply drop it into a pot of boiling water for a minute or two. Or if you’re completely fagged out by all your play, you can just pop the blasted thing in the dishwasher before you drift off to a well-deserved post-coital nap.

Now let’s get back to Ken and find out what kind of mischief he gotten into since he left my house with the Vergenza Mk. I tucked safely under his arm.

As I suspected Ken reserved the first ride for himself, no fool he! To kick things up a notch, Ken decided to chill the Vergenza Mk. I before he began his solo play. “There’s nothing like cold metal on hot hole to produce an earth-shaking orgasm.” He proudly proclaims. (I forgot to mention that a metal insertable can be warmed and chilled to create unique sensations beyond the feelings produced by the insertion itself.)

Apparently Ken had the time of his life, buggering himself senseless with one end of the Vergenza Mk. I and then the other. Ken really liked the heft of this wand the best. He said that besides the pleasure it induced as a dildo, it turned out to be the most amazing tool for toning his PC muscles, “Doin’ Kegels with this thing in your ass is quite a work out!” Ken knows what every power-bottom knows; taut and toned PC muscles keep his caboose from goin slack and saggy.

“I have a play party set up with Denise for tomorrow. So I’ll be able to introduce the Vergenza Mk. I to her pussy then. She’s going to be one happy camper!” Everyone here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice waited with bated breath for the following report to come in. And it did…in less then 36 hours. Ya gotta love a man who is so prompt with his reporting.v_mk1.jpg

“Denise got off on this thing big time! She loved the heft and density of the Vergenza Mk. I. She like the end with the bumps the best. The smooth end was nice and it seemed to stimulate her G-spot better than the bumpy end, but she couldn’t get enough of the bumps. She’s kind of a freak that way.” How does that old saying go? “Ribbed for her pleasure!” 😉

Ken went on to say that once Denise got off on vaginal stimulation a couple of times, he flipped her over for some of that promised backdoor action. Ken wants to remind everyone that going from pussy to ass pleasure is ok, but definitely not the reverse. “Never put anything that has been in an ass anywhere else, especially not in a vagina!”

Before the flip, Ken completely cleaned the Vergenza Mk. I with hand soap and lots of hot water. “This really warmed up our magic wand for my ass-ult on Denise’s butt. She completely loved the warm sensations. And this thing really held its heat for a long time. In the butt play department, Denise favored the tapered smooth end to the end with the bumps. She said this was the best butt-plug she ever experienced.” Denise agreed with Ken; the weight of the Vergenza Mk. I made for a challenging Kegel exerciser. This is another good reason why this toy is so great. It’s so damn versatile.”

My hat is off to this young toy manufacturing company. They have set a high standard for themselves (and others) and if the pedigree of the Vergenza Mk. I continues in future works of insertable art, we will all be the richer for it.

So the consensus is the Vergenza Mk. I is well worth its high-end price. Dramatic design, stunning craftsmanship and versatility make it a toy that you’ll be proud to own; and one that will last a lifetime.

ENJOY

SHARE by Fun Factory


SHARE by Fun Factory  — $124.00

Whoa sex fans, look what the folks at Fun Factory sent me!

What we have here is what they call SHARE. It’s big, it’s shareable and it is oh so purple (also comesshare.jpeg in black and pink). It is also pretty fuckin’ revolutionary, don’t cha know, but more about that in a minute.

Once I had this baby in my hands, I knew for certain that I would be hard pressed to review this device on my own. I’d have to find someone, configured slightly different than myself, if ya catch my drift. I simply don’t have the right parts to put this amazing apparatus through its paces and to review it properly.

When faced with a situation like this, I inevitably turn to my best gal pal, my #1 friend of the lesbian persuasion — Joy. Those who visit Dr Dick Sex Advice often probably already have heard me speak of Joy. For those of you who don’t visit here often, you’ve missed out. Ya see; Joy is my go-to person for all things vaginal. Not only does she have her very own pussy, she sure as hell knows her way around other pussies as well.

I rang her up the other day and told her she needed to rush right over. She wanted to know what was up. I told her it was toy review time. She said, “Ho hum! Another prostate stimulator?” I said, “No way, girlfriend, it’s a strapless strap-on!” I could practically hear her mind straining to wrap around that oxymoron. “Say what?” “You heard me. You gotta check this out; you’re not gonna believe your eyes.”

I happen to know that my pal, Joy, is a strap-on kinda dyke. Some lesbians aren’t, and I’m like totally OK with that. I also happen to know that Joy, bein’ the big gal she is, has had a hard time finding a comfortable strap-on harness that fits properly and does not bind or crimp. (I hear from a lot of women who like the idea of a strap-on, but find them too confining and uncomfortable.) Even when Joy found a relatively comfortable harness, it still cramped her style. She told me that she just figured that this was the price a chick paid for the pleasure of pluggin’ someone like a guy.

All the traditional difficulty and discomfort of a harness strap-on vanish with the truly revolutionary SHARE. I kid you not. Joy immediately realized this remarkable toy’s potential. Once she laid eyes on this purple wonder, she proclaimed with delight; “Damn, if this don’t give you all the privilege of a penis without devaluing a vagina.” Leave it to Joy to sum things up in a single sentence.

For those of you who have yet to figure this out, just by lookin at this marvel, SHARE is a wearable double dildo made of 100% medical-grade Silicone. This is surely a toy for two.

Check it out, the vagina ownin’ partner inserts the shorter, more bulbous end into her who-ha. The shape of this insertable part is sure to stimulate her G-spot, don’t cha know. But that’s not all; there is an upward curve to the protruding cock-end of this device that’ll sure enough wind up smack-dab on your clit once the bulbous insert is in place. But wait, there’s more!

Once the vagina owin’ partner has the bulbous end of SHARE properly situated in her pussy; she now has an ample 6+ inches of veiny cock to pretty much use as would any proud owner of a real schlong. And that, my friends, is about some of the best news I’ve heard in quite some time.

Kudos to the Fun Factory folks for coming up with this amazing design. I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that SHARE was invented by a woman or women. I just can’t see a man, even a cool, with it, female pleasin’ kinda dude puttin’ 2 and 2 together to make somethin’ this remarkable. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

Anyhow, back to Joy and her toy. Since I wasn’t about to hand over this treasure without something in return; I told Joy that I wanted a blow-by-blow description of her usage. She was to spare me none of the gory details. “It’s a deal!” She said as she sashayed out the door.

It was only a matter of hours till I received the first bulletin. Joy wanted to remind me to tell you that ya can only use water-based lube with a silicone toy like this. Good point! Silicone-based lubes will dissolve your silicone toys.

Next, she said that having the SHARE implanted in her pussy was like nothing else she’d ever experienced. She said there was no comparison to her strap-on. “With a traditional strap-on, you have something ON you — comfortable or not. With the SHARE, you have something IN you. And that makes all the difference in the world.” She continued; “I now understand why men swagger about when they parade around with a hardon. As I walked around with my big purple weenie swingin’ out in front of me, I could feel it rooted inside me. As it bounced it stimulated my G-spot and clit.”

share.jpg

She did say that the new sensations — the protruding cock and the fullness inside her took some getting used to. She said she discovered the SHARE really worked her PC muscles, which is an added and unanticipated benefit. She couldn’t wait to pound her GF and then flip-flop for a reciprocal pounding BY her. You go girls!

A couple days later, I got the entire low-down. Joy was full of superlatives — awesome, amazing, and cocky were some of the words she used. “The GF and I never felt so close. One thing though, while I had no problem inserting the “wearer’s” end in me; Barbara did. It’s a pretty hefty girth. But then again, she’s just a little thing!” “OK, thanks for sharing,” I responded. “Well you told me not to spare you the gory details, remember?” I had to chuckle.

Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your SHARE, or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended. Drop the item into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go again. Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up. That’s what’s so great about silicone. Undoubtedly, it costs a bit more, but it is sooo worth it.

One final word. Just in case some of you need this spelled out for you; the SHARE is the ideal toy for your average straight couple too. You don’t have to be queer to take delight in switching roles. And ladies, won’t your man be surprised when he climbs in bed, pulls back the covers to gaze upon your loveliness only to discover that you have a big purple (black or pink) cock protruding from your pussy.

Pegging your man’s ass, like the bitch he is, has never been so fun and easy. No straps! No harness! Simply insert your part in you and tap his booty till your heart’s content!

ENJOY

The Njoy Fun Wand

Name: Patti
Gender: female
Age: 38
Location: Washington DC
My best friends are getting married. They’re going to Canada to get hitched, because my friends are lesbians, and…well you know how we are here in the states about that. Anyhow, I’m looking for an unusual bridal gift…for two brides!

Yeah, I do know how we are here in the states! Maybe Canada will annex us one day.

c212.jpgWhat lesbian bride wouldn’t want one of these delightful toys? The Njoy Fun Wand (C212) is more than a sex toy. It has as many applications as a Swiss Army knife. (And you know how them lesbians love their Swiss Army knives! They never leave home without it.)  Boys will love this toy too; it’s not just for vaginal use, if ya catch my drift.

The lucky brides will be able to insert one end for amazing g-spot orgasms, or use the beaded end for anal ecstasy. Your friends will be able to practice their Kegel exercises with this thing too. In no time they will have vaginal muscles of steel. And when the dreaded lesbian bed death occurs, as you know it will, the Njoy Fun Wand can be used to apply pressure to knots in their back and shoulder muscles.

Since it is handcrafted from the highest-grade stainless steel, the Njoy Fun Wand will last a lifetime. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. It’s easy to clean with mild soap and water. Measures approximately 8″ in length, with the widest section measuring 1″ in diameter.

It has a hefty weight to it, and it will hold temperature — warm or cold — just in case your friends have a little kink to them.

The Dual Motion, Handheld Sex Machine

Name: Monster
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Location: Albuquerque
I’ve tried so many sex toys over the years only to find that most of them are shit. Do you know of any toys that are not just ridiculous novelties? I want something for the industrial strength toy user.

You betcha! Here’s one you can kick-start…well almost. But you will need a powerc367.jpg tool — The Dual Motion, Handheld Sex Machine.

This fucking machine is the smallest, handiest, most versatile handheld device and it’s affordable. Your can connect this Sex Machine to any Fleshlight or Vac-U-Lock dildo for exciting hands-free multi-speed solo sex. The device is lightweight, quiet, safe and feels fantastic.

It thrusts and it rotates! Its unique dual action reciprocation and optional rotation moves up to 300 revolutions per minute and has a 3″ linear thrust. It is powered by a cordless electric screwdriver or drill. (Not included.) It is easily disassembled for cleaning, storage and installation of upgrades, and is dishwasher safe.

The quality construction sets itself apart from other fucking machines, and it comes with a one-year manufacturer’s warranty against breakage, wear and tear. How does that sound, Monster? If you wear it out, they’ll replace the parts and put you in their hall of fame!

Supplied in an easy-to-assemble kit form, it comes with full instructions. It takes about 15 minutes to assemble. The plastic parts are all polycarbonate (what bullet-proof windows are made of) and the metal parts are all stainless steel.

Cyberskin Penis Extension

Name: Jeremy Taylor
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Bangor Maine
I have a problem with my penis size. I don’t think it’s long enough to give a woman pleasure. You keep saying there’s no help for us little guys. What are we supposed to do?

a989.jpgYou may have misunderstood my previous advice about cock enhancement devices, creams, pills and patches. That shit don’t work. But that’s not to say that you can’t augment what you have down there with a little creativity and the help of the Cyberskin Penis Extension (A989). Take a look at this, pup.

The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in dildos and cock extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (11⁄2″ or 3″) extension is much firmer. It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside, ya know like a real cock!

Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of this extension are designed to create a realistic effect as well. And it looks realistic… and feels more realistic.

There’s a trick to putting this extension on: You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the (11⁄2″ or 3″) extension. Then place it against the head of your hard dick, roll down the sleeve snugly around your cock, sealing your johnson inside the sleeve. A partial seal will form, helping the extension stay on during fucking.

Wearing this extension will add to both the length and thickness of the dong. It will of course reduce the sensation in your dick during fucking, but that’s not always a bad thing, especially for guys with a real short fuse. Besides, a lot of guys like the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the sleeve.