Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Get MAXXX —— $21.99

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Our package of Get MAXXX clearly states: ‘purest silicon (sic) lubricant, Made in Germany.’ So we weren’t the least bit confused as to what kind of lube this was.”
Chuck: “We thought Get MAXXX worked best during our stroke sessions. It lubricates without reducing sensation and that’s important when we have one of our marathon sessions.”
Mick: “Yeah, we try to see who can outlast the other. So this is the perfect lube for those edging contests.”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX is long lasting and remains slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy. I hate it when lubes get sticky! It’s completely hypoallergenic too. Ya gotta love that. I love the pump container.”
Mick: “Remember, silicone-based lubes and silicone toys don’t mix!”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX has no discernable taste and it’s odorless.”
Mick: “It has a surprisingly light consistency, but like I’ve already mentioned; it holds up really well when things get hot and heavy.”
Chuck: “This stuff is fantastic with our glass dildos. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Mick: “Get MAXXX is about as health-conscious a lube as you will find anywhere. It stands up great to water (think shower, hot tub, whatever). My skin actually feels better after I use this stuff. I love it.”
Chuck: “Back to the packaging; the pump top can be locked by twisting it while it’s in the up position. It also comes with a plastic top lock that covers the spout to keep the lube from accidentally leaking out all over the place. That’s a real thoughtful addition, I can tell ya. I’ve had the misfortune of having a lube bottle open all over my toy box once. I was fuckin mad as hell.”
Mick: “Get some Get MAXXX today; you’ll be glad you did.”

Dr.Love Silkening Lubricant —— $21.99

Ken & Denise
Ken: “This is sure enough a German product. You can tell by just looking at the package. The fine print comes in three languages; the primary one is German. I think they used a computer program for the translation into English.”
Denise: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Ken: “Nothing really. Just making a point about authenticity. This is the real deal. Oh and remember when we first looked at the package we weren’t able to tell what kind of lube it was?”
Denise: “Right! Nothing on the package says silicone-based. So we were a bit confused at first. The promotional materials that came with Dr.Love spelled it out, but there was nothing on the package that says so. And it’s important to know that sort of thing, because you wouldn’t want to use this lube with silicone toys. Maybe they just need to add a little stick-on label that says silicone-based. Just a thought.”
Ken: “Dr.Love is a lighter consistency than some of the other silicone-based lubes I’ve used. But it is thicker than your average water-based lube. It’s really silky to the touch and it has plenty of glide. You can tell it’s a quality lube, because you only need a little bit to make things slick as shit. And it’s a slick feeling, not a greasy feeling. There is a big difference, ya know.”
Denise: “There’s no significant smell or taste, which is very appealing to me. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Ken: “Dr.Love stands up to water very nicely, so it’s great to use in the shower. I love to squeeze one off in shower in the morning, so this a perfect lube for that. You’ll need soap and water for a thorough cleanup.”
Denise: “I thought it dried out a bit quicker than other silicone-based lubes we’ve tried especially when we do anal. But when I use it by myself for self-pleasuring, either with my hand or a toy, it last and lasts. I don’t understand why the discrepancy, but there ya have it.”
Ken: “We used Dr.Love in place of massage oil too and loved it. It feels great on our skin.”
Denise: “And I even used it on my hair as a conditioner; so there’s that. In fact, we went through our 3.4 fl.oz. container in less than a month. So you know we loved this stuff.”
Ken: “One last thing about the packaging. It has a nice pump-style squirt top. The promotional materials say: “Single hand use with drip free dispenser.” The single hand thing is a bit of a stretch, especially if your hand is slick with lube. But the drip-free claim is right on. It also comes with a little plastic doohickey that locks the pump in place so it can’t be pushed down accidentally. This is so important for travel or if you store your lube near your toys or clothing.”
Denise: “We both give Dr.Love high marks. Thanks Futuring International Ltd!

Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug —— $79.98

Dr Dick
Friends, are you tired of not having anything dazzling to wear on those special occasions when you want to look and feel your best? Ya know, like when you’re runnin’ the Hoover, taking out the trash (rubbish or BF), or pickin out something butch at Home Depot? Well dear readers, I have just the thing for you. Lookie here! It’s a Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, or butt plug if you prefer. This is no ordinary plug, no siree; it’s bejeweled! So it will dress up any outfit, or no outfit at all.

That’s right, sex fans, I’m wearing mine now! Because, like you, I want to have a smile on my face and a spring in my step when I face all of life’s tedious tasks like typing this review, laundering my unmentionables or cookin’ up a mess of grits for the church social. And the beauty part of this little stunner is that no one would ever guess I’m enjoying a butt-load of delicious pleasure unless they turned me upside down and discovered the authentic Swarovski crystal rockin out where the sun don’t shine.

My Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is a high quality, hand crafted ultra smooth Pyrex glass insertable manufactured by RubyGlass21 and customized by VirtuallyAdult. The plug features a petite spade-shaped head with a maximum diameter of no more than an inch. This sits gracefully atop an unusually long 2” stem that finally flares out to make the base, in which is embedded the sapphire-like crystal. The Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is about 5 inches tall and weighs in at approximately 6 ounces. I say the stem is unusually long, because most all the other plugs I’ve seen and/or used are squatter. Now that I’ve tried both, I tend to like the longer-stemmed plug even better than the shorter ones. And god knows I love the shorter ones a lot. I’m also thinkin that this lovely would rock out as a pussy plug too. Imagine the luscious G-spot massage you’d get with each and every step you take.

Everyone has a butthole and the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is an equal opportunity pleasure plug. That being said, I want to address the rest of my comments to my fellow prostate owners. You know how passionate I am about prostate health and prostate self-awareness, right? Well I am of the mind that every guy oughta own at least one butt plug and use it regularly. Beside the pleasure it delivers it has verifiable health benefits.

A plug will massage your P-spot and that’s a big part of a maintaining prostate health. And for us more senior men, and the heartbreak of enlarged prostate we so frequently suffer, butt plug therapy can help there too. I mean I’m all in favor of toys that have no other purpose than to dispense a good dose of the jollies. But if a fella can pleasure himself AND do himself some good health-wise…all at the same time; well that just about beats the pants off diddlin’ just for fun. Right?

Those of you who regularly follow our reviews will know that all the Dr Dick Review Crew loves us some glass toys. They’re gorgeous, of course, but that’s only the beginning. They are versatile too. You can warm and chill beautiful art glass toys, like the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, for added sensations. And you can use any kind of lube you want. You’ll only need little bit too, because glass gets real slick with just a dab of lube. The petite head on this baby will slip effortlessly into your bum and stay put for hours of glorious backdoor recreation.

Pyrex glass is nonporous so clean up is a breeze. Soap and water work fine. Or you can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Generally speaking you can sterilize Pyrex glass toys in boiling water or the dishwasher. However, that is not recommended in this case, because that would jeopardize the embedded crystal.

With proper care, the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug will last a lifetime. And VirtuallyAdult helps you do that by providing a very sturdy black padded fold-up pouch to keep your insertable art from getting nicked or chipped while it isn’t dressing up your bottom.

I highly recommend this beauty.

ENJOY!

We have yet another exquisite erotic art insertable from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the third product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  See the other HERE!

Mister Twister ——  $129.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn:  “WE’RE BACK!  Did you miss us?  We missed you.  Well actually, we missed the sex toys.  Being a Review Crew member has its perks.”
Hank:  “He’s in such a good mood because we got to review another toy that he can shove up his ass.  Glenn has the hungriest hole around.”
Glenn:  “I like to think of it as talented, not hungry.”
Hank:  “A rosebud by any other name…”
Glenn:  “Speaking of talented; a literary allusion and an asshole allusion all in one sentence.  You’re on a roll, my man!”
Hank:  “Ok, let’s get on with it.  What we have here is an art glass butt plug. Mister Twister is just one of the beautiful creations to be had when you visit XHale online.  Glenn and I are new to glass, but after this little encounter; there will surely be more glass toys to come.”
Glenn:  “This petite beauty is only 3 3/8” tall.  It has a very modest girth of not much more than an inch.  This is your starter butt plug model.  I’m like totally used to way bigger toys in my ass, but there is something about this stunning little number that makes it one of my favorites.  I feel all dressed up with this puppy pluggin my hole.  Maybe that’s because it’s art, baby.  All XHale art is individually handmade, which makes my insertable even more precious to me.  No one else in the world has exactly the same one as I.”
Hank:  “It sure is!  It also has this amazing blue and white swirl in the solid glass.  That’s why when Mister Twister joined our dildo and plug collection it was like a snowy dove trooping with crows.”
Glenn:  “There you go again!  Apparently you’ve got Romeo and Juliet on the brain.  But you’re right; Mister Twister is a jewel, that’s for sure.”
Hank:  “Because this is the highest quality glass, it will last a lifetime; ya just gotta treat it with care.”
Glenn:  “XHale helps you do that by providing a very sturdy black padded drawstring pouch to keep your insertable art safe from getting nicked or chipped.  But we think Mister Twister is so beautiful; when it’s not adorning my hole it is proudly placed on our mantle.”
Hank:  “And if you think that is gross, you don’t know squat about glass insertables.  You can clean this baby with simple soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher.”
Glenn:  “You can use any sort of lube you want to with a glass object like this.  And a little goes a very long way.  For someone unfamiliar with a butt plug, this will take some getting use to.  It’s hard as a rock.  But once you get the hang of it, it will be your material of choice from there on out.  I can wear Mister Twister for hours on end.  There’s no chafing; nothing like that.”
Hank:  “And you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
Glenn:  “Not all glass toys are made of the same quality glass.  But if you are considering a purchase, look for the name XHale.  You will not be disappointed.”
Hank:  “Glass, particularly stunning art glass like this, is gonna cost you.  But what thing of quality won’t?”
Glenn:  “If you know someone with an asshole and that person is very special; then Mister Twister is the ideal holiday gift for him or her.”

Smartballs Teneo UNO & DUO —— $34.00 & $44.00

Gina & Kevin
Kevin:  “Smartballs Teneo are Fun Factory’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You know what those are, right?  They are insertable balls that were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). But since men have PC muscles too, I wanted to join in the fun.  In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these babies while they are inserted vaginally or, in my case, anally.”
Gina:  “Smartballs are discreet.  And as Kevin suggests, they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Kevin:  “Remember, the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.  And this is true for both women and men.”
Gina:  “You simply insert the Smartballs Teneo UNO into your vagina.
Kevin:  “Or the Smartballs Teneo DUO into your ass. Or the other way around.”
Gina:  “Each Smartball unit has a finger groove for easy insertion and a tether that makes for easy removal.  You’ll want to use some lube when inserting.  And since these products are made of silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with them.”
Kevin:  “Here’s the special part.  Each Smartball has an inner ball that creates the a sweetest vibration sensation.”
Gina:  “They aren’t as heavy a ball as I am used to, but they are comfortable to wear.  And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  Take them dancing, to the grocery or for a walk in the park.  Every movement gives you pleasure while strengthening your PC muscles.”
Kevin:  “They are extremely durable and easy to clean. You can sterilize them in boiling water or pop ‘em in the dishwasher, which makes the Smartballs Teneo shareable. You can also wipe them down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Or just use soap and warm water for a quick cleanup.”
Gina:  “I like to masturbate with the Smartballs.  My orgasms are more intense, because my vaginal muscles contract around the vibrating balls.  Regular use can also help prevent stress incontinence.”
Kevin:  “And I like to squeeze one off with a ball or two in my ass.  They provide very pleasant prostate stimulation.  And ya never have to change batteries or wait for a recharge.”
Gina:  “We though Smartballs were a bit pricy.  I know LELO makes a set of similar balls using silicone for about the same price as the DUO set.”
Kevin:  “And you may need a few days to get used to these puppies, but once you do; you’ll love them.”
Gina:  “These make ideal gifts for a new mother or a menopausal woman.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, but just because these are designed for a woman, doesn’t mean a man can’t enjoy them.  Take it from me; consider these as ideal gifts for the all the butt pirates on your list too.”

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $39.95

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the other’s history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic Wand before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
Karen:  “Oh and here’s a tip.  You can turn any un-vibrating dildo or insertable into a vibrating one by just bringing the Hitachi in contact with it.  It’s like totally fantastic.”
Jack:  “Since we use the Wand for only external use, we don’t use lube with it.  We mistakenly did it once and it was a bitch to clean up and it makes the handle too freakin slippery.
Karen:  “If you’ve never tried one of these thing, you absolutely need to get one.  It makes the ideal gift for just about anyone.  Because you can use it very effectively on sore muscles.”

Awesome Blossom —— $46.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “We have a beauty for you this week.  It’s called Awesome Blossom.”
Joy:  “We are like totally getting into glass insertables.  Six months ago we didn’t own a one.  Now we do though.”
Dixie:  “Yep, we are now the proud owners of three glass dildos.  And they are spectacular.  There is something about glass that really turns my crank.”
Joy:  “Awesome Blossom is made of tempered glass.  If you treat it with respect, as you would any fine adult toy, this thing will last a lifetime.”
Dixie:  “Glass is so practical.  There are no batteries to run down; nothing to recharge.  It’s ready when you are.”
Joy:  “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap.  For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine.  You can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. However, if you’re gonna share your Awesome Blossom or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended.  Slip it into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go.  Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  And we’re all about sharing.”
Joy:  “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our gay-boy friends, that Awesome Blossom makes a wonderful ass play toy too.  You see it has a base on it that will keep it from popping into your pooper.  The base also lets us use it in our harness.  So there’s that!”
Dixie:  “You can either chill or warm this beauty.  And when it comes to lube; any lube will do.  Regardless what kind of lube you choose, just know that a little goes a very long way.”
Joy:  “In our rush to tell you all the features of glass, we have yet to describe Awesome Blossom.  Atop the spiraled, clear-green shaft there is a clear teardrop shaped head.  Inside the head is a three-dimensional image of a flower.  The flower is a kind of wildflower, I would guess.  The kind that blankets a meadow in the spring. It’s really sweet and lovely.”
Dixie:  “The shaft is just over 1″ in diameter.  The head is only a bit larger at about 1 1/4″ in diameter. The whole thing is just under 8” tall. There’s a bit of a curve to the shaft which make it perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.
Joy:  “We LOVE our awesome Awesome Blossom! We both highly recommend this toy.”
Dixie:  “There is only one drawback.  This beautiful, beautiful functional art piece does not come with a storage pouch.  What’s up with that?  It certainly deserves one.  We wrap ours in a towel to keep it safe when it’s not punishing our pussies.  You’ll want to do the same.”
Joy:  “This would make the ideal gift for someone special.”

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex ——  $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right?  I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen:  “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack:  “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen:  “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”
Jack:  “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time.  I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen:  “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack:  “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review.  It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen:  “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners.  International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing.  There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack:  “It is both super arousing and very informative.  This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal.  What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end?  Bummer.”
Karen:  “That is so true!  But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted.  For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack:  “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature.  I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it.  This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
Karen:  “I like how toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up to cock penetration.  I know from my own experiences with anal sex that foreplay is essential.”
Jack:  “I was also kind of surprised that there was little mention of the increased risks of sexually transmitted diseases with anal sex.  NO CONDOMS WERE USED IN THIS MOVIE!  What’s up with that?  Maybe they didn’t want to scare people who may be considering including anal in their monogamous couple sex.  There is a safer sex mini-feature included on the DVD, but I thought there could have been more in the feature itself.”
Karen:  “There’s also a featurette on anal hygiene, which I found informative.”
Jack:  “I really got off on the hot, hot, hot girl-on-girl bonus scene.  Finally a little strap-on action!”
Karen:  “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for women considering anal sex.  Guys who are interested in exploring their bottom need to look elsewhere.”

Joy & Dixie have the pleasure of introducing you to a new kid on the block, Duncan Charles Designs.  They specialize in unique, handcrafted ceramic adult toys.

Signature —— $55.00

Dixie:  “Here’s something refreshing, this ceramic textured dildo is handmade!  I’m so tired of mass-produced sex toys, aren’t you?   Oh to have something unique, something that is crafted not manufactured.”
Joy:  “Dixie is so right; I love knowing that no one else on the planet had precisely the same toy as we have.  Each Duncan Charles Designs piece is unlike any other.  In fact, it’s beautiful art.  And it is GREEN!”
Dixie:  “Signature has a food grade high-gloss coating that makes it as smooth as glass. But it is also textured, just the way we like it.  Despite it being ceramic, there is nothing fussy about this beauty.”
Joy:  “However, you will want to treat Signature with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a fine-looking sculpture.”
Dixie:  “Signature comes wrapped in a lovely lined ultrasuede pouch.  Ours is jet black, but it also comes in red.  It’s just under 8″ long and weighs in at just over 8 ounces.”
Joy:  “It has a rounded head on top of its scalloped shaft.  The ridges add immeasurable fun.  Because of the super high-gloss finish, we only had to use a little bit of lube.  And you can use any type of lube you want with this ceramic baby.”

Dixie:  “This dildo is designed for g-spot, clitoral or prostate massage.  Unlike most of the other G-spot stimulators that have a curve to them Signature is straight as an arrow.  And yet it is just as effective as the curved ones.”
Joy:  “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Signature to suit my mood. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by placing it under running hot water.”
Dixie:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Joy:  “Signature is so inexpensive considering what you get. — it’s a unique, multi-functional dildo, it’s a work of art, and it will never run out of batteries.”
Dixie:  “And, I might add, it’s GREEN.  Kudos Duncan Charles Designs!  Nothing to poison the environment or compromise your body’s health and wellbeing.  In short, Signature rocks my (our) box!”

Sex furniture?  You betcha!  Glenn & Hank walk you around this offering from the amazing folks at Liberator.

Liberator Ramp —— $200.00

Glenn:  “Check this out!  This is the best thing that’s happened to butt fuckin since the invention of the sling.  The  Ramp is just one of Liberator’s many sex furniture shapes that are designed to add more fun and lessen bodily stress for whatever kind of sex you have up your sleeve.”
Hank:  “Or down your pant leg, as the case may be.  We got us a plus sized  Ramp and it is covered in black pleather.  But you can choose from a bunch of sizes and fabric options.”

Glenn:  “Pleather is great, because it cleans up fast.  And that’s a big plus because our sessions can get pretty messy.”
Hank:  “Ok, so what is the Liberator Ramp exactly and why is even better than a sling, or a swing for that matter?  Good questions. The Liberator Ramp is a big triangular shaped, sturdy, comfy and solidly made cushion.  Ours is 29” X 35” X 12”.  And it can be used in a multitude of ways.”
Glenn:  “It’s better than a sling or swing, because it’s portable, storable and you don’t have to suspend it from the ceiling, or set it up every time you want to shag.  It does stow easily under the bed.  It’s perfect for butt fuckin, because regardless of what position you like the Liberator Ramp is gonna make the sex a whole lot better for the top as well as the bottom.”
Hank:  “Glenn likes it doggie style.  I just bend him over the  Ramp and plow away at his ass.  It’s easier on me, because his ass is elevated to just the right position for the ass-ult.  I can go as deep as possible, because his pelvis is supported by the Ramp.  Oh, and ya can’t really do doggie style in a sling or swing!”
Glenn:  “Hank is right!  I don’t have to arch my back or strain my arms and wrists pressing back against his manly thrusts.  But he can still grab my hair and pull.”
Hank:  “You joke, but I know you love it deep and heavy.  You’re just a dirty little piggy bottom, aren’t you?”
Glenn:  “Oink, oink!  I do enjoy a furious ride, that’s for damn sure.  Ok, so if you want to do another position, all you do is reposition yourself on the Ramp for a little face-to-face action.  Like I lay down on the Ramp, with my head at the lowest part of the incline.  I scoot my butt to the highest edge of the incline.”
Hank:  “Again, his ass is perfectly positioned for me to fuck him silly.  With Glenn already angled down, I can lift and open his legs with ease.”
Glenn:  “My toes are pointed to Jesus, and I’m in fuckin’ heaven.”
Hank:  “Oh, the Ramp is great for cocksucking too.  I just lay back on the Ramp, in the position Glenn just described, which elevates my hips 12” off the floor.  Glenn has all the access he needs to my dick, balls and rosebud.  He can service me till his heart’s content.”
Glenn:  “Again, there no stress or strain on my neck or back while I blow him.  And in this position Hank can grab his knees and pull open his own legs.  PERFECT!”
Hank:  “Could you live without a Ramp?  I suppose you could; we did all these years.  But now that we have this amazing piece of sex furniture, we’re thinking about adding other Liberator shapes to our collection.  HINT, HINT; Liberator send us more of your products, please!”
Glenn:  “I should probably add that the  Ramp was a big hit at a recent orgy we hosted.  Everyone was fighting for their time on the Ramp.  You know this thing is golden if it can satisfy a room full of sex-crazed queens.”
Hank:  “The  Ramp is a bit pricy, but it’s totally worth it.  It’s beautifully made here in the good old US of A of high quality materials.  It will last!”
Glenn:  “I can promise you that it will enhance your sex life, as it has ours.”