TITAN by KIIROO

TITAN by KIIROO  ——  $149

Hank & Glenn,

Hank: “HEY SEX FREAKS! We’re back…after a nearly two-and-a-half-year absence. And we’re rarin’ to go.”
Glenn: “I am one of the founding members of the Dr Dick Review Crew. I did my first review in October on 2007. Some of the other members burnt out along the way. Then back in 2014, I think it was, Dr Dick decided to close down the reviews only to revive them again in 2018. It’s been kinda spotty since then, but I think our reviews do a great service to those who read this blog.”
Hank: “I joined the Dr Dick Review Crew in August 2008.
Glenn: “A couple of months ago, Dr Dick asked us if we’d be interested in reviewing a brand-new, fancy-schmancy stroker that he scored from a company in Amsterdam. Hank and I have had the pleasure of visiting Amsterdam a couple of times in the past, so, or course, we said yes. Amsterdam is fuckin’ amazing and is one of the great sex capitols of the world.”
Hank: “You can say that again! We had a blast in Amsterdam. So, we were expecting a great product from this horned-up corner of the globe.”
Glenn: “This here is the TITAN by KIIROO, a high-tech male masturbator. It’s jet black cylinder is sleek as shit and looks pretty much like a Bluetooth speaker. It’s a little over 8.5” tall and about 3.5” wide, and weighs about 2 pounds. Its hollow internal sleeve is 7.5” long.”
Hank: “TITAN is a lot more than just a jerk-off gadget. It’s a toy for both individuals and couples. (More about the couple thing in a minute.) Like Glenn said, the overall design is very stylish. But will it live up to its hype? That’s what I want to know.”
Glenn: “I wanted to know that too. But first, we needed to charge the TITAN. A USB charging cord is included in the package. The initial charge took about 5 hours. Ya get about 40 minutes of play from a charge.”
Hank: “While it was charging, we decided to take a closer look at the

TITAN. The plastic shell has ridges on it to aid you in keeping a hold with lubed up fingers. There’s a power button and three glossy areas (control panel) where you place your fingers to adjust speed and vibration. There’s a side panel on the shell that opens to expose the sleeve. It’s kinda cool just to look at. The sleeve has three rods running through it. These rods have nine vibrating bullets (three on each rod) built into them. The sleek control panel on the surface of the unit controls the vibrating bullets offering a variety of sensations. I have no idea what the sleeve is made of, but it ain’t silicone. It’s too squishy to be silicone. It’s more like the SuperSkin of a Fleshlight. That means it’s porous and contains phthalates. Finally, a really flimsy clear plastic lid, like the kind of lid you’d get on a soft drink cup, covers the top.”
Glenn: “I was disappointed with the sleeve. I know from experience how difficult it is to clean and maintain super squishy materials like this. They feel good the first time ya use ‘em, but if extreme care isn’t used in cleaning it and thoroughly drying it, it will breakdown and you’ll have a huge mess on your hands. Yeah, and what’s up with this ridiculous lid? It doesn’t even stay in place.”
Hank: “The TITAN is pretty light weight and it’s surprisingly quiet too. There’s a bunch of other stuff in the box — user manual in a bunch of languages, quick set up guide, charging instructions, a warranty card, and a free trial for an interactive porn site. (The TITAN can sync with this porn site. It can also sync with another toy using a downloadable app for partnered use.) We didn’t use either of these two features, but they are available to anyone who wants them.”
Glenn: “OK, now that the TITAN is all charged up I offer Hank the first go at it. Nowhere on the box, or in user manual, or set up guide tells you that you can only use water-based lube. But, trust me, that’s all you can use with this toy. So Hank lubes up his big old dick and attempts to slide it in to the sleeve. Hank is heavy hung, so this takes some doin’. But once he’s got his chub situated, he begins to fiddle with the control panel.
Hank: “As it turns out, the three “buttons” on the control panel adjust vibration and speed on the three sets of bullet vibes on the rods embedded in the sleeve. This provides loads of different sensations up and down your pecker. I was impressed. You still have to use it like a stroker though. You have to pump up and down your dick. I got into a very satisfying rhythm while I was watching some of my favorite porn. In no time I was ready to unload a three-day supply of spooge.”
Glenn: “Hank has the best orgasms. He roars like a bear. When he was finished, he pulled the TITAN off his boner and set it down upright on our wooden computer desk. Remember how we said at the beginning that the sleeve was hollow? Well we had forgotten about that. When Hank picked up the TITAN to carry it to the bathroom, we discovered to our horror that all his jizz and all the lube he used ran out the hole in the bottom of the blasted thing. What a fuckin’ mess.”
Hank: “My bad! Now I had an extra mess to clean up and I had to do it super-fast so it wouldn’t destroy the desktop. Speaking of clean up, I suppose you can just run some warm water and soap through the inside of the sleeve, rinse, and let it air dry. But I like my toys really clean, so I had to open the side panel and roll the sleeve off the three rods with the bullets. This way I could thoroughly clean the sleeve. I set it aside to air dry. Because the material used to make the sleeve is so porous, just as we thought, once dry it was really tacky. It needed to be powdered before it could be used again. And, in order to use it again, you will have to re thread the sleeve back on to the rods with the vibes. And let me tell you, that is no easy task.”

Glenn: “If I wanted to use the TITAN, I would have had to use a condom. This material, whatever it is, is not designed for sharing. I thought that was too bad. But just for the hell of it, I went to the Kiiro site to see if they sold replacement sleeves. They do. There are two sleeves (They don’t say what the sleeves are made of on there site either.) and they are $39 apiece. Imagine if you had to replace the sleeve every couple months. ”
Hank: “By the way, the whole Kiiro site is exclusively heterosexual. They certainly don’t do anything to welcome the gays.”
Glenn: “So there ya have it. A really great tech savvy stroker with loads of features for your (and a partner’s) pleasure. But there are a number of sometimes glaring problematic issues…I’m looking at you sleeve.”
Hank: “Ya know, years ago most sex toys were battery operated. That is before consumers began to demand toys be rechargeable. Consumers insisted because of the cost involved in buying loads of replacement batteries and the environmental impact of disposing of the batteries. I think the same kind of thing is happening with materials used to create sex toys. Consumers are demanding healthy materials. Materials that are sharable. Materials that will last. Hopefully, in the future, this squishy material stuff will go the way of the dodo bird and toy producers will see their way to being more health conscious and cost effective. It’s in their best interest after all.”

ENJOY

Tremble Stroker Silicone Masturbator By NANMA Corporation

Tremble Stroker Silicone Masturbator —— $37.50

Trevor
Hello again! I’m here to talk about the Tremble Stroker. It’s a very nice silicone masturbation sleeve with a twist. The twist being the attached vibrator.

I confess; I’m a wanker. I know that word is often used as a put down, particularly where I come from. I’m originally from the UK, Manchester to be precise, but have been in the US since I was 13. But I’m proud of my masturbation skills. I’ve been pullin’ my pud since I was just a lad and I’m now 32.

Get this, my da caught me wankin’ away like the little pervert I was when I was just eleven. Embarrassing, huh? Actually it was OK. I think he was as embarrassed as me. Anyhow, after that he and I have been able to talk quite openly about sex, which, I think, has been good for both of us.

So I’m proud to say that I’m a connoisseur of playing with myself. I’ve tried numerous strokers and masturbators in my time. I know what works and what don’t work. The first thing that impressed me about the Tremble Stroker is that it is made of latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. That is a big plus in my book. Most of the other sleeves and strokers are made of porous materials. They may feel good the first time you use them, but that doesn’t last. If they’re not cleaned properly and dried properly they begin to break down and they become unusable. What a mess!

Silicone is different. It is so easy to clean. Toss it into the skink with mild soap and warm water, scrub it down a bit, and let it air dry. Or you can just wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing.

The Tremble Stroker is also flexible enough to turn inside out for deep cleaning. And as much as I use this thing, that’s a necessity. I can’t count the number of loads I deposited in the Tremble Stroker.

Speaking of inside out, the Tremble Stroker features a slew of velvety soft concentric rings or ribs up and down the inside of the shaft that caress your dick while you pleasure yourself. I also like it’s futuristic look. It looks like something out of a SyFy movie.

Now to the “twist” part, the Tremble Stroker has a loop of silicone attached to the side of the sleeve. This holds the battery compartment. You’ll need two AAA batteries, not included in the package, to power up this sucker. The battery compartment is attached to a pear-shaped vibe the fits snugly in the tip of the sleeve. Insert the batteries in the compartment; slip the compartment into the loop of silicone and then fit the vibe into its holder; then switch it on. One push of the button on the battery compartment brings the Tremble Stroker to life. Hold the button down to turn it off.

The unassuming pear-shaped vibe delivers some pretty powerful vibrations. I was impressed! It has ten different vibration modes. Each is distinct and offers a unique sensation. You cycle through the ten modes using the on/off button on the battery compartment. The vibrations range from subtle to powerful and depending on you mood you can last and last or blast off in not time.

Since the silicone is really pliable, you can manually squeeze the Tremble Stroker to add pressure as you stroke. There are also two holes near the top of the sleeve. Blocking one or both of them creates a bit of a vacuum inside the sleeve, which adds to the intensity of your session.

Since the Tremble Stroker is made from silicone, you’ll want to use only a water-based lube when you stroke. By the way, there’s a small complimentary packet of Astroglide included in the package.

A quick few words about the packaging. The presentation is very simple, a cardboard box that features a close up of the Tremble Stroker on the side. It’s the front of the box could be a problem for some because it features a nude dude dick-deep in the stroker. Not sure why the packaging is so graphic, but there ya have it. I mean, I don’t care what’s on the box, but I think others might be put off by it. And that would be a shame because this is a really good masturbation sleeve.

The only other drawback, at least from my point of view, is the Tremble Stroker is battery operated. Oh how I wish it were rechargeable. I’ve already been through a half dozen batteries and they ain’t cheap.

To sum up — a great toy, made of body-friendly materials, fun, intense, and easy to clean.

I’ll tell you a little secret; after I’m through playing, I detach the battery compartment and pear-shaped vibe, and then rinse the sleeve before putting it in the dishwasher. And, like I said earlier, I can even turn it inside out for deep cleaning. The silicone stands up the dishwasher like a champ.

ENJOY!

The Pivot by We-Vibe

The Pivot by We-Vibe —— $61.03

Denise & Ken
Ken: “After a very long hiatus, Denise and I are back with the Review Crew.”
Denise: “That’s right, we signed on for more. After we got the word that Dr Dick was going revive the Crew, we wanted back in. But, we were in the middle of a move when he made the announcement and then I got knocked up…thanks KEN!! So this is our first opportunity to post a review.”
Ken: “Today we bring you a product from one our favorite companies, We-Vibe. The last time we reviewed one of their products was way back in May, 2014. Damn, that’s nearly four years ago!”
Denise: “Yep, here is Pivot by We-Vibe. As you can probably tell from just looking at it, it’s a vibrating cockring. These things are all the rage these days. I think the Review Crew has reviewed at least four if not more of these things over the years. If you know anything about We-Vibe, you can probably also guess that they will take the concept of a vibrating cockring and max it out. Pivot is both classy and well made. And like all of We-Vibe’s toys lately Pivot is app controllable. We’ll get into that in a minute.”

Ken: “Pivot is made of a silky blue silicone. There is a little magnetic plate in the tip where the USB charger connects. Silicone, rechargeable, and waterproof, what more could one want? Magnetic charging ports are great if you can iron out the cable. This took some doing at first. The cable kept disconnecting from the port until if figured out that if I weighed down the cable, so it wouldn’t disconnect, I’d get a solid connection.”
Denise: “So here’s the deal; I need clitoral stimulation in order to cum. While fucking is nice and all, penetration alone won’t get me off. That’s why I always have a vibrator near to hand when Ken’s inside me. So when I first heard about vibrating cockrings, I thought, holy shit that’ll be the ideal solution to my vibration needs during penetration. I’d finally get a hands free way to get off; problem solved! Unfortunately, I failed to take into consideration that while thrusting, the vibrating cockring loses contact with my clit. DAMN!”
Ken: “I didn’t think of that either, but don’t lose heart. We’ll have more to say about that in a bit. The business end of Pivot, where the vibe is, is at 3” in length, 2” in width and about 1.25.” thick. The hole of cock ring itself is approximately 1.25” in diameter unstretched. Just so you know, this is the kind of cockring that just fits around your dick, don’t think you’re going to stretch it around your balls too. And if your cock is thicker than average, say more than 5” you’re in for a super snug fit. Despite the fact that the silicone does stretch, I found Pivot too snug for me.”

Denise: “Let’s get back to the app. If you have a smart phone or tablet, you can download We-Connect for free, and use it to control your Pivot. Or your partner can control it, even if they aren’t in the same room as you or even in the same city. That’s the funnest part, if you ask me.”
Ken: “I think the app is absolutely necessary. While there is a button on the ring itself that will turn it on and off and cycle through the 10 different vibration modes, the button is tiny. And lube will make it really slippery so the button is really hard to press. The app, on the other hand, lets you play around with the settings in a more visual way. You won’t have stop the action and try to find the button on Pivot itself.”
Denise: “We’d better remind everyone that you can only use a water-based lube with a silicone toy like this.”
Ken: “Because I found Pivot too snug for me to wear, I decided to use it on a dildo. That way I could pleasure Denise, or she could pleasure herself while keeping the vibration constant on her clit. The vibration is both powerful and rumbly, just like we like it.”

Denise: “Yeah, when I use Pivot attached to a dildo I’m able to do more of a grinding motion as opposed to thrusting, which maintains more constant contact with my clit. And I leave the app manipulation to Ken.”
Ken: “I can slip Pivot over a couple of my fingers when I’m jerking off. And I leave the app manipulation to Denise.”
Denise: “We both like Pivot a lot. Although, it would be great if it came in different sizes so that Ken and I could use it while fucking!”

ENJOY

Renegade Men’s Pleasure Kit #1 by NS Novelties

Renegade Men’s Pleasure Kit #1 —— $29.95

Trevor
Hello again! I’m here to talk about the Renegade Men’s Pleasure Kit #1. It’s just one of the pleasure kits NS Novelties makes.

Before I get to the contents of the box, a quick word about the packaging. It’s handsome in a manly sort of way. The front of the black cardboard box features embossed images of the three toys in the kit. They identify the toys as a Silicone Triad Ring, (read: glorified cockring) Silicone Plug Small, (read: butt plug) and finally, a TPR Stroker (read: wanker sleeve). The back of the box features a see-through cutout of the toys along with an illustration of how to use the Triad Ring. I’m glad they did that because I was completely stumped as to what to do with the thing when I first saw it.

Inside the box there is a clear plastic clamshell sort of deal that houses the three toys.

So now that we know what the box contains let’s look at each toy in turn. I’m going to start with the Triad Ring. Like I said I was totally miffed by what I held in my hand. It looks like a figure 8 with an extra loop. Each of the three rings are a slightly different diameter. Once I saw the illustration on the box I figured it out. You can stack them or spread them out. The largest of the loops is used like a traditional cockring. It is made of silicone, so that’s good. It’s also stretchy so that I can easily get it around my cock and balls. (BTW, if you don’t know what a cockring is or why you would want to wear one; check out Dr Dick’s tutorial: Cockring Crash Course.)

Once I had the largest of the rings in place I attempted to stuff my balls through the middle ring. This wasn’t at all easy. You see, the smaller the rings get the less give they have for stretching. I don’t want to brag but I have big balls and it was a struggle getting it on. I finally had to resort to using some water-based lube to assist me with this. Finally, I had to fit my cock through the smallest ring. This was a bit easier, but the lube helped too. Once I had the blasted thing in place I had to take a breather. Here’s a tip: if you plan to use the Triad Ring for sex with a partner, be sure you put it on way before you initiate sex with your partner. It would be a total buzz kill trying to wrangle this thing into place while your partner is patiently waiting. Also, if ya try to put this on when you already have a boner, you’ll lose the stiffy well before you get into place. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Personally I found the Triad Ring overkill. I love wearing a cockring and it is very helpful keeping an erection, but the Triad Ring wasn’t very comfortable and it didn’t do anything extra to enhance my erection.

Next we have the Silicone Plug Small. Again, it’s made of silicone, which is very good. If you don’t know this already, you can only use water-based lube with this silicone toy. And if you are a novice butt pirate, be sure to use a lot of lube, both on the toy and in you hole before you attempt insertion.

I’m kinda new to anal pleasuring so I appreciated that the Silicone Plug was of the small variety. It’s not too much larger than a stout finger. (BTW, if you are unsure of what a butt plug is or why you would want to use one; check out Dr Dick’s tutorial: Butt Plug Crash Course.)

I liked the Silicone Plug a lot. I mostly use it when I’m alone. I can wear this thing for hours without irritation. It gives me intense prostate stimulation and I can even bust a nut without much stroking and just from the prostate stimulation alone. Very cool!

 

Now that I got the hang of this but plug thing, I’m gonna try a slightly larger one. I may even start to wear it when I’m having a shag with my GF, Shelia. That should give her something to talk about.

Finally, we have the TPR Stroker. I had to look up TPR. TPR = Thermo Plasticized Rubber. I found that TPR is commonly used in adult toys due to cost effectiveness, and ease of manufacturing. These materials can range from soft and flexible to firm and stiff. The good news is these elastomers do NOT have phthalates in them. And they are safe for those with a latex allergies. The bad news is the products containing TPR, while compatible with water and silicone based lubricants, are not compatible with oils, like massage oil. They are also not non-porous, so they can’t be sterilized, like silicone can, so there’s no sharing this toy with anyone else. These products should not be stored touching other plastic items, as they may interact poorly and melt. ☹

The TPR Stroker, curiously enough, has a set of finger rings on the side so you can have a secure grip while you stroke it up and down your cock. I thought that was funny because it seems pretty superfluous to me. It only has an insertable length of just less than 5”. My cock is 7” and pretty thick, so this was not designed with me in mind. The hole you stick your dick into is pretty small too and I couldn’t insert my willie without a big glob of lube. I used water-based lube. The inside of the stroker is ribbed for my pleasure.

I’ve used a number of strokers in the past; this is my least favorite, mostly because it wasn’t the right size for me. You might like it better than I do.

After using it a couple of times and washing it thoroughly in warm water and mild soap I noticed that the TPR began to get tacky. That was a bummer because I didn’t want to touch it after that. BTW, air-drying it is the only thing you can do. Don’t try to dry it with a cloth.

The other two toys, the Silicone Plug and Triad Ring, are made of silicone and they are really easy to clean. Toss them into the skink with mild soap and warm water, scrub them down a bit, and let it air dry. Or you can just wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing.

In the end, I thought this kit was a mixed bag. I liked the butt plug, the Triad Ring was just OK, and the TPR Stroker was a bust. On the plus side, the price is right for the kit. You can get it for under $30.

Of course, we have to remember that this is a starter kit. So if you find you like one or another of the toys, you can always find loads of other rings, strokers, and plugs to fit your personal preferences.

ENJOY!

The Verge Vibrating Ring by We-Vibe

The Verge Vibrating Ring, Slate —— $88.70

Trevor
Hello again! Just in case you didn’t read my first review, my name is Trevor. I’m 32 years old. I’m originally from the UK, Manchester to be precise, but have been in the US since I was 13. I live with my da. My mom passed away three years ago. I am dating this great gal. Shelia is her name. We’ve been together for just over a year.

My new toy is the Verge Vibrating Ring by We-Vibe. It’s an amazing new cockring.

If you are unfamiliar with what a cockring (penis ring) is or what it is used for, let me turn your attention to a swell tutorial that Dr Dick put together called, Cockring Crash Course.

The Verge Vibrating Ring is worn around your cock and balls. The ring feature adds a bit of blood flow restriction for fuller, longer lasting erections. The vibration feature, which hits you smack-dab on your perineum, produces mind-blowing orgasms.

You can use the Verge Vibrating Ring alone, like when you’re having a little wank, or with a partner, like when you’re having a little shag. Either way, it’s brilliant!

Sometimes I need a wee bit more stimulation to get off than what I can produce with my hand. For example, I’ve recently discovered all the pleasures that come from stimulating my prostate while I wank. For the longest time my butthole was off limits because I thought that was too gay for a straight bloke like me. I know how stupid that way of thinking is now, but for the longest time I just wouldn’t allow myself the permission to even investigate the other pleasure zones on my body.

My girl, Shelia, helped me over come that. One day we were having sex and she had this little lipstick vibe with her. http://www.drdicksextoyreviews.com/2014/05/09/we-vibe-tango/ She started to use it on her clit while I was inside her. At first, I was pretty upset by this. I thought I wasn’t doing my job pleasuring her enough with my cock. I even started to get soft. I was just about to pull out when Shelia, guessing what was going on with me, took the little vibe and placed it on that patch of skin between my balls and butthole, my perineum. I immediately jumped to attention. I had never felt anything like that before. But I was also scared. It was getting way too close to my hole for comfort.

I was torn between the intense pleasure and the fear of the gay thing. What a dolt!

Shelia later told me about all the nerve endings in my pelvis can be the source of great pleasure and that some guys are orgasmic by just stimulating their prostate. To tell the truth, I wasn’t all that sure what or where my prostate was. All I knew was that if it was inside my butt; I wasn’t going there. But I figured stimulating my perineum was OK because it was not technically IN my butt.

To make a long story short, I was using a vibrator on my perineum one day when I, all of a sudden, let the vibe wander to my hole. The sensations were AMAZING! It was only a little while later that I threw caution to the wind and tentatively started to insert the vibe in my butthole. Within minutes I discovered my prostate, which is as sensitive and pleasure producing as my cock if not more so. And guess what? I didn’t turn gay!

Crazy story, right? I’ll bet there are a lotta guys out there who think the way that I used to. Hopefully, reading this will straighten them out…no pun intended.

OK, so I mentioned that if you wear the Verge Vibrating Ring with the pointy part down you get perineum stimulation, right? Well get this, if you wear the Verge with the pointy part up, like when you’re having sex with your partner, the Verge Vibrating Ring delivers the vibration to your partner’s clit.

The Verge Vibrating Ring delivers vibrations that are deep and rumbly, not the little buzzy kind that you get from some vibes. It’s also amazingly quiet.

And while we’re talking about the vibrations, you should know that there are 10 vibration modes built into the Verge Vibrating Ring. But that’s just the beginning. There’s a smartphone app that you get through the We-Vibe website. http://we-vibe.com/app With the app you can connect and control a bunch of We Vibe products, not just the Verge. So when Shelia and I both have our We Vibe vibrator we can share control of each other’s pleasure at the same time. It’s totally wild.

The Verge Vibrating Ring is covered in velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic, body-safe silicone. And because it is fully waterproof and made of silicone it’s a breeze to clean. I toss it into the skink with mild soap and warm water, rub it down a bit, and then let it air dry. Or you can just wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

The Verge Vibrating Ring is rechargeable via a USB connected port. It takes about 90 minutes to fully charge and a full charge will last for up to two hours of play.

If you’re going to be using lube on or around the Verge Vibrating Ring, be sure to use only water-based lube. A silicone based lube would mar the beautiful finish of the toy.

I love everything about the Verge Vibrating Ring. I love that it is made of body-safe silicone and that it’s 100% waterproof. I love that the vibrations are massive but it’s still really quiet. I love that it is rechargeable. And I love that Shelia and I can play with our toys and each other even if we’re not actually together.

The only thing I’m not sure about is the one-size-fits-all thing. I mean, I’m happy with the fit and all, but if some guy was bigger down there than me…or smaller, that could be a problem.

ENJOY!

Crescendo by Mystery Vibe

Crescendo —— $179.00

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “Well, this feels pretty familiar, but a little odd too. I can’t believe we are back on the Dr Dick Review Crew. How did that happen? I thought we swore off these reviews years ago.”
Kevin: “To quote Michael Corleone: ‘Just when I thought I was out; they keep pulling me back in.’ But you have to admit, we did miss this mess a little bit, didn’t we?”
Gina: “I guess so. No, that’s not true. I really missed it. I didn’t miss reviewing the same old stuff over and over again. That was boring as shit! But I think we both missed reviewing products that, one could immediately see, have been designed and manufactured by creative people thinking outside the box. In fact, we both said that we would rather review those products, even if those products didn’t quite hit the mark, than review something less creative and innovative.”
Kevin: “So true! I have so much more respect for people who try something different and unique, even if it fails; than I do for people cranking out more of the same old same old.”
Gina: “So when Dr Dick asked us if we would ever consider coming back to the Review Crew he was smart enough to wave something irresistible in front of us.
Kevin: “To paraphrase Michael Corleone: ‘He made us an offer we couldn’t refuse.’”
Gina: “So here we are back in the bosom of the Review Crew after a nearly three year absence so we can bring you something really remarkable. Check out Crescendo from Mystery Vibe. They say it’s the world’s first body-adapting vibrator. I guess we’ll just have to see about that.

Kevin: “To quote Michael Corleone again: ‘I respect those that tell me the truth, no matter how hard that is.’”
Gina: “Is that all you’re gonna do today? I mean I love your Al Pacino, but this is just too nutty.”
Kevin: “To quote Michael Corleone: ‘Never let anyone know what you are thinking.’ OK, OK, I think I got that out of my system for now. Before Gina tells you about the vibe itself I want to comment on the packaging. Crescendo come in a sleek, sophisticated, and elegant gift box. Gold embossed black slipcover covers a beautiful textured box, also in black and gold. Inside the box you will find a black quilted storage bag secured with a tasteful black embossed ribbon, a USB cord, the charging stand or dock, and the striking Crescendo itself. All the packaging is recyclable. If first impressions are important, this packaging certainly got our attention.”

Gina: “As stylish as the packaging is, that’s only the beginning. Here are some of the highlights of the Crescendo itself. First, it’s 9 inches in length and has a maximum diameter of 1.75 inches. Second, it’s bendable; there are three joints that enable you to shape it so that you can use it in different ways. Both women and men will be able to enjoy this vibe alone or with a partner. There are an astonishing number of vibration patterns programmed into the toy when you first take it out of the package, 12 to be precise. There are also 16 power levels for each pattern. You can increase/decrease one step at a time or use the jump function to leap to the highest or lowest settings instantly. Crescendo saves the last pattern you were using so that when you resume your pleasuring it’s right where you left it. And get this, it has six different motors; can you believe that? Four motors in the middle of the toy and two higher intensity motors at either end of the toy.”
Kevin: “I want to say a bit more about Crescendo’s bendability because this is what makes it so damned innovative. It can be easily shaped and positioned into several shapes making it ideal for a whole range of pleasuring. When Gina is using it as an insertable, she curves the tip towards the front wall of her vagina to get amazing g-spot sensations. She can also fold it into a U-shape so that she can get both internal and external pleasure. It’s even wearable. We use it in an S-shape for mind-blowing oral sex. When it’s my turn, I bend it around my dick. I can use it as a stroker or as a cradle. Don’t forget your balls and taint (perineum). You can sit on it with the tip curled up to pleasure your butthole, which is totally awesome. The only thing you can’t do is use the Crescendo as an anal dildo. It doesn’t have a secure flared base that would prevent the toy from slipping up your ass. Oh, and don’t try to bend it side-to-side either.”

Gina: “Charging the Crescendo is so easy. You simply place it onto the USB charging stand or dock. However, you need to place it just right (luckily, directions are included in the package). Once you’ve found the sweet spot the light on the vibe will start to blink indicating it’s charging. A full charge takes about an about 1 hour. When Crescendo is ready to go the blinking stops and the light remains solid. We got about two hours of non-stop play at full intensity on a single charge. All the buttons are lighted too for your convenience.”
Kevin: “The Crescendo is covered is covered in a velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s a breeze to clean. Submerge it into the skink with mild soap and warm water and scrub it down a bit. Then let it air dry. Or you can just wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize it for sharing. And because Crescendo is also 100% waterproof, it’s the ideal toy for bath or shower.”

Gina: “Make sure you use only a water-based lubricant with Crescendo. I suppose some of the newer silicone-hybrid lubes might work too, but I would be careful and do a test patch first. You wouldn’t want to mar the beautiful silicone skin. Oh, and get this: there is a one year warranty from the date of purchase, as long as you have register your toy on Mystery Vibe website.”
Kevin: “Besides all of this good stuff there’s even an app for Crescendo. This will surely make all of our techie friends squeal with delight. I mean this is the height of high-tech sex toys. Go to your app store, download the Crescendo app, and follow the prompts. We discovered that the app wanted to update Crescendo’s firmware first. Once that was done we had access to dozens of pre-programed vibration patterns and we can customize our own patterns too.”
Gina: “I want to make another comment about Crescendo’s shape-shifting capacity. Bend it to suit your need or position and it stays in shape during play, even with vigorous activity.”

Kevin: “I found the buttons a little difficult to manage, my fingers are just too big. The buttons can also get pretty slippery when Crescendo is all lubed up, so there’s that.”
Gina: “Here’s something interesting. I was showing the Crescendo to an older friend of mine because I know how much she likes her vibrators. She is nearly sixty-nine, but very spry. I only mention her age because I think Crescendo might be a little too technically advanced for seniors. So, as I was going on and on about how great Crescendo is; showing her how it bends, even showing her the app, she got a dismayed look on her face and said, ‘It’s very beautiful and I can see why you like it so much, but it’s just way too complicated for me.”
Kevin: “I hope our toys don’t get so technically advanced that we leave older folks behind. That would be a real shame.”
Gina: “I also want to comment on the vibrations. Despite the zillions of patterns and speeds, the vibrations are more of the buzzy type rather than the deep rumble type that some women crave. I know each person has her own preferences along this line and no one vibe will be perfect for every one, so I thought I would mention that for those who might have a preference. ”

Kevin: “Gina and I liked just about everything about Crescendo. I was sold on the innovative design, it being rechargeable, and waterproof.”
Gina: “We began our review by saying how much we enjoy reviewing new and innovative products. Crescendo fits that bill to a tee. And we both recommend it to you, particularly if you, like us, appreciate unique pleasuring devices that are not phallic shaped, and designed and developed by very creative people. Hey, let’s reward these clever people because their impact on the industry will be great.”

ENJOY!