Boy Butter Extreme and Extreme H20

Boy Butter Extreme 5 oz. E-Z Pump —— $17.99

Boy Butter Extreme Desensitizing H20 Based 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $19.25

Mick & ChuckBBextremeEZ

Mick:  “We have a little confession to make.  Chuck and I had already used Boy Butter Extreme before we were asked to review it.”
Chuck:  “We hadn’t used the H20 Based formula and we really wanted to, so we asked if we could test both products.”
Mick:  “Until we tried the H20 Based one, we thought Boy Butter Extreme was the best such product on the market.  We’ve tired several other desensitizing products, but we liked Boy Butter Extreme best.”
Chuck:  “Sometimes Mick has difficulty relaxing into butt sex.  I’m not tooting my own horn here, but I’m hung 8.5”, pretty thick too.”
Mick:  “Trust me, it’s a sight to behold.  But it’s true; I have a tendency to tighten up when I’m just getting started in a fuck. Boy Butter Extreme helps me over this initial phase allows me to enjoy all that is to come.”
Chuck:  “I love the pump container.  Both products are long-lasting and remain slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy.  I hate it when lubes get sticky!”
Mick:  “Both products use the maximum amount of Benzocaine (7.5%) allowed by law.  So you know this is industrial strength!”BBextremeH2O
Chuck:  “Some people have an adverse reaction to Benzocaine.  If you do, these are not the products for you.”
Mick:  “I am so happy that Boy Butter make a H20 formula, because Chuck has to use a condom when I use either of these products. And the H20 Based version is condom safe.”
Chuck:  “I was just about to mention that.  We had an unfortunate experience a while back when we first started using desensitizing lubes and whatnot.  I didn’t wear a condom and my dick became desensitized too.”
Mick:  “Come to think of it, this wouldn’t be such a bad thing for a guy who has a real short fuse, right?  The Benzocaine would probably just the thing to help him last longer.”
Chuck:  “Oh, and may I suggest that you use these products sparingly.  A little goes a very long way.  You certainly don’t want to over use either of these lubes.  It will take all the fun out of the fuck for both top and bottom; you’ll not be able to feel a thing.”
Mick:  “Exactly, ya simply want to apply a small amount of Boy Butter Extreme (or the H20 Based formula) to your finger, insert it into your ass.  Smooth it around till you’ve lightly coated your sphincter.  You will notice the numbing effect in a minute or two.  Remember, you can always add more if needed, but you can’t eliminate it once it’s been applied.  At least, not without soap and water.”
Chuck:  “We highly recommend these products with the precautions we mention.”
Mick:  “If you’ve shied away from anal sex simply because of the initial discomfort, give one or another of these Boy Butter Extreme products a try.  I think you will be pleasantly surprised.”

Beer Babe Vagina

Beer Babe Vagina Precious Pink                $20.94

Chuck

This here is the Beer Babe Vagina in what they call Precious Pink.  It also comes in, god help us, Raunchy Red.

I’m gay!  So right off the bat, the promotional pitch for this product didn’t appeal to me.  Seems to me Synergy SYN1700002_1Erotic is needlessly eliminating a whole bunch of potential queer customers with this approach, but that’s just me.  I do love a good masturbating sleeve.  So even if it looks like a cunt, I won’t hold that against it.  I mean once I get goin, I’m not gonna notice the configuration of the orifice.

The Beer Babe gets high marks for creativity.  I mean besides it looking like a bottle of beer, the copy on the label is a hoot.  “Superb Jackability” on the front.  And on the back:  “Prolonged use of this item may cause pleasure, stimulation and finally ejaculation!  Use of suitable water-based lubricants and appropriate visual ages is highly recommended.  Deposit Required!”

It says that it’s 9” fleshy inches.  But that’s simply not true.  The whole bottle is 9 inches. And no one’s dick, least of all mine, would fit in the bottle’s neck.  Besides, the “fleshy” insert is only 6 inches.  And while that might suit most guys; if you got anything over a 6 inch boner, the head of your dick is gonna get jammed up against the tapering neck of the bottle.  OUCH!

Vigorous thrusting, the kind I like, will also dislodge the fleshy insert from the hard plastic bottle.  This is frustrating in the extreme.

When I first took this thing from its packaging and opened the base to look inside, a wave of noxious fumes came from within.  WTF?  I mentioned this to Dr Dick and he said that’s called off-gas.  Which is a nasty by-product of manufacturing. I wasn’t about to stick my dick in there till I eliminated the smell. I soaked the entire unit, inside and out, in hot soapy water first, to rid it of the smell.

After only one attempt at squeezing one off with the Beer Babe ; I gave up.  Like I said, the insert kept separating from the bottle shaped holder.

Imagine if this company invested more money into making a better product, one that actually worked, lasted and manufactured it with materials that didn’t smell bad.  Like I said, I love a good masturbation sleeve.  I’d happily pay good money for a quality product.  In fact I have!  I am the proud owner of two Fleshlights.  Now there’s a good product!

Smooth Glider by XHale

Mick & Chuck introduce us to Smooth Glider.

Smooth Glider $89.95

Mick:  “Hey, it’s great to be back as part of the Dr Dick Review Crew.
Chuck:  “This is the dream “job. What’s not to love about getting free sex toys?  And we loves us some toys.”
Mick:  “Yeah, but we’re also informing people about what to look for in quality products while avoiding the junk.”
Chuck:  “Exactly!  Speaking of quality, check out our Smooth Glider.  It’s smooth_glider.jpgstunning.  It’s made of Pyrex glass.”
Mick:  “It’s approximately 7 inches long and 1 1/4 inches in diameter with a nicely sculpted head that measures approximately 1 1/2 inches in diameter.  It weighs a hefty 12.4 oz.  And the sucker is smooth as glass…thus the name.  Duh!
Chuck:  “Well a lot of glass dildos are textured.  This one happens to be smooth. But it does have a nice curve to it.  It’s perfect for prostate stimulation.”
Mick:  “Or G-Spot stimulation, if you have one of those.”  😉
Chuck:  “The first thing you need to know is that not all glass dildos are created equal.  There are plenty of cheap knock-offs out there that I wouldn’t stick in my ass for a million bucks.  But the Smooth Glider is top of the line.”
Mick:  “If you’ve never used a glass dido you will be amazed.  It’s like no other material.  With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick.  And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Chuck:  “The Smooth Glider, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too.  Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up.  But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or in boiling water for a couple of minutes.  Making it the idea toy for sharing.”
Mick:  “One more thing about the Smooth Glider’s design.  It has a nice base on it.  So it’s easy to grab hold of for turning or pumping in and out.”
Chuck:  “Mmmmm, pumping in and out!”
The Smooth Glider comes in a beautiful red padded velvet pouch to protect it when it’s not punishing your, or someone you love’s ass.”
Mick:  “I highly recommend the Smooth Glider to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo.  You will not be disappointed.”
Chuck:  “I second that!  And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Smooth Glider, you have nothing to worry about.  But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right.  Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Mick:  “Yeah just think this could be an heirloom, passed down from generation to generation.  In about a hundred years look for it to appear on the Antique Road Show.  ‘Why, my great, great uncle Mick buggered himself senseless with this beauty!’”  😉

Pjur Analyse Me!

Pjur Analyse Me! Silicone Anal Glide

Long-lasting silicone personal lubricant designed specifically to enhance the pleasure of ass fucking. Jojoba extracts help soften the skin and anal sphincter enhancing the experience of anal sex. Unlike other such products, Analyse Me is Benzocaine free!

Mick and Chuck —

“This stuff worked great…a little too great, in fact.

You know that I’ve been having some problems with my butt since the surgery. Anyhow, I haven’t been as confident a bottom as I once was. Chuck’s pretty big and with his PA…well, I’ve just not been able to accommodate him.

I’ve tried relaxing exercises and whatnot, but nothing seemed to work. We were both pretty frustrated and ready to call the whole thing off till you shared the Analyse Me with us.

This was just what I needed to regain my confidence in my skill as a bottom. I started in using the lube on myself; you know, kinda like getting myself all warmed up. I could feel the difference right away. Noting dramatic, mind you, but the effect was noticeable.

Once I thought I was ready for Chuck, I asked him to try and put it in. It was like it was pre-surgery. I was able to relax and things were flawless. That is until Chuck noticed that he had lost some of the sensitivity in his dick.

Well, duh! If Analyse Me is good enough to decrease the sensitivity in my butt, it just stands to reason that it would have the same effect on Chuck’s dick. Unfortunately, neither one of us thought about this till it was too late for that first session. When I use this stuff now, Chuck uses a rubber.”