Category: Mick & Chuck

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Titus by Nexus

Titus by Nexus —— $62.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have an interesting prostate massager to tell you about today. It’d called Titus. It’s a the slimmer cousin of the Nexus Excel, which was reviewed here earlier.”
Chuck: “I wonder how they came up with that name. It’s the name of a Roman emperor, ya know. What that has he to do with pleasuring your bung-hole is beyond me.”
Mick: “Yeah, I thought it was an odd choice too, but maybe there’s a method to their madness. Hey, maybe it’s named after the guy who came up with the design; ya know like Titus O’Rilley, or Titus Kawalski. Whatever the reason for calling it Titus we oughtn’t lose sight of it’s curious, yet very effective, shape. It’s curved, it’s ribbed and it’s slim enough for even a novice butt pirate to use with confidence.”
Chuck: “Titus is made of medical grade polypropylene, which is a fancy word for ‘hard plastic’. There also a stainless steel ball bearing on one side of the base. This ball bearing smacks ya right on your taint (perineum) when the Titus is lodged in your ass. The other side of the base is your handle. You use this for inserting and for maneuvering Titus into place.”
Mick: “It kinda works like a butt plug, but it really doesn’t stay in place as well as I would have liked it to. I mean, it’s great if I’m sitting on it, but not if I’m standing up or moving around.”
Chuck: “ I liked the ergonomic shape and the ribbed surface on insertable stalk. The ribbing added some extra stimulation when inserting and removing it.”
Mick: “The thing I like most is the dyno-mite orgasms I have with the Titus. I just insert this puppy, sit down on it, rock back and forth and pull my pud. In no time I’m bustin’ a nut of cosmic proportion!”
Chuck: “Totally! Oh, and it’s waterproof too. So you can lounge in the tub with thing in your hole. I mean come on; every guy winds up playin’ with his willie while he’s having a soak, right? So why not have something massaging your prostate at the same time.”
Mick: “We should also mention that the hard plastic material is nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. And you can use any kind of lube you want with it. And by all means, do not forget the lube when you’re stuffin’ this, or anything else in your ass.”
Chuck: “Being waterproof also makes it a snap to clean. Soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. There’s a little tool that comes in the package for popping out the ball bearing for a sanitizing cleaning. This toy is made for sharing, so sanitizing is important. We’ve simply dropped the Titus in a pot of boiling water or popped it in the dishwasher for that total sanitizing effect.”
Mick: “I’m often partial to more pliable materials, like silicone, for my insertables. But sometimes a guy just really needs something hard. And Titus is ideal for those special moments.”
Chuck: “The packaging is nothing special; just a simple formed plastic box. Too bad they didn’t go the distance and make the packaging GREEN. Do we really need more plastic packaging?”
Mick: “ya know; I like Titus just fine, but here’s what I can’t understand. Why is this thing so freakin’ expensive? Nearly $65 for a hard plastic insertable that doesn’t even vibrate? Come on!”
Chuck: “I agree! It’s true, the Titus will last; it’s virtually indestructible. But I simply don’t get the pricing. Sorry.”

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The Curve

The Curve —— £95.00

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Damn, it’s been ages since we submitted a review. Our last review was way back in October. We went on a long vacation in December and when we got back in late January, all the toys on hand had been farmed out. So we had to wait our turn.”
Chuck: “So glad we did, because we scored with The Curve. The company website suggests that The Curve is designed as a vaginal dildo. OK! But guess what; neither Mick nor I have a vagina and we still loved this toy.”
Mick: “That’s right! I would say that I have a mangina, except I fuckin’ hate that fruity term. I have an asshole and I have a prostate and The Curve is fantastic in the one and on the other.”
Chuck: “The Curve is made of crystal clear acrylic (aka Lucite). It has the look and feel of glass, but it is definitely not glass. For one thing, it’s lighter than glass. But I think it’s just as pretty as glass.”
Mick: “Just take a look at this beauty. The insertable end is tulip-shaped. This narrows down to a notch, kinda like a butt plug would have. Then it flares out again, followed by another notch. Finally, there’s a knob-shaped hilt or handle, which offers you a nice grip for maneuvering The Curve to just the right P-spot positioning and/or for some pumping or thrusting action.”
Chuck: “The Curve also comes with a pretty lame bullet vibe. You know, the kind that uses those tiny watch batteries. At any rate, we didn’t even bother. We thought the inclusion of a bullet vibe actually took away from the presentation of this remarkable toy.”
Mick: “Supposedly the bullet vibe is for clitoral stimulation while The Curve is pleasuring a chick’s pussy. Whatever!”
Chuck: “So this beautiful dildo is just one of the ‘off the peg’ designs available from Made To Pleasure. But here’s the really cool part; you can design your own unique toy using their handy-dandy design tool. How fabulous is that?”
Mick: “I can’t think of any other toy company that offers such a service. So they get really high marks for creativity. Oh, and if you have money to burn, you can get your Made To Pleasure product plated in either gold or silver.”
Chuck: “Right on! I think we should also commend this company for their GREEN packaging. The sophisticated black on black in black packaging is both beautiful and totally recyclable. There’s no needless plastic to clog landfills.”
Mick: “The acrylic material is nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. The Curve is totally smooth, there are no seams or joints and it’s totally waterproof. Perfect for use in the shower or bath.”
Chuck: “Being waterproof also makes it a snap to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Mick: “I’m often partial to more pliable materials, like silicone, for my insertables. But sometimes a guy just really needs something hard. And The Curve is ideal for those special moments.”
Chuck: “I liked the fact that we could add the extra thrill of temperature play with this beauty. Warm it, chill it; go ahead, drive yourself or someone else wild.”
Mick: “We are delighted to give The Curve get our highest rating.”
Chuck: “And ya know, if we all patronize the companies out there that are doing their part to GREEN our sex play, maybe more companies will get on the bandwagon.”

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Cockring and Leash Set

Cockring and Leash Set —— $29.95

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “The Cockring and Leash Set came to us just in time for Halloween. And we put it to very good use.”
Chuck: “Yeah, but it’s not just a Halloween gimmick now, is it?”
Mick: “Right! You can use the Cockring and Leash Set Set any day of the year — Christmas, New Years Eve, Valentines Day, Arbor Day, the 4th of July, your pervy boyfriend’s birthday, whatever.”
Chuck: “Ok, I see you’ve decided to be a little wacky today.”
Mick: “The Cockring and Leash Set is such a fun and kinky setup; I think a little wacky is in order, don’t you?”
Chuck: “I guess you’re right. So let’s get on with telling our audience what the Cockring and Leash Set is, ok?”
Mick: “Sure! It’s pretty simple actually. There are two parts. First, there’s an adjustable black leather cockring, or strap, if you prefer. There is a D-ring on the strap to which you hook on the fine metal leash. The metal leash has a black leather loop grip.”
Chuck: “The Cockring and Leash Set is a KinkLab product, so you know it’s gonna be good.”
Mick: “Oh yeah! Listen, if you’re interested in buying a kinky product like this, even if you are new to kink; spare yourself the disappointment of buying any of the crap that is floating around out there. We’ve see more than our share of that shit here at the Review Crew. If you want quality, look for a quality brand, like KinkLab.”
Chuck: “Right on! So I was saying that we had a ball with this Cockring and Leash Set for Halloween, right? Well, here’s how it went down. We were invited to a totally tripped out party that we knew would surely turn into an orgy before the night was through.”
Mick: “And we were not disappointed. Chuck dared me to wear the cock strap under this flimsy rawhide loincloth, which was pretty much the totality of my costume.”
Chuck: “The loincloth barely covered his big fat uncut dick and balls. It was so fuckin hot.”
Mick: “Of course wearing a cockring like this made my johnson grow, which make the flimsy loincloth tent out in the most unseemly fashion.”
Chuck: “Mick was the hit of the party, I can tell you. About half way through the evening I hooked the leash on to the cock strap and started to lead Mick around the compound by his dick. This increased the pressure on the strap and increased his erection. We had a ball.”
Mick: “Guys were like diving between my legs to blow me. It was freak city.”
Chuck: “And that’s all we’re gonna say about the Halloween party. You’ll have to imagine the rest.”
Mick: “Looking for a little edgy sex fun, try a Cockring and Leash Set on your man and take the ‘dog’ for a walk.”

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Wet Oil Base Personal Lube

Wet Oil Base —— $9.26

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “For review purposes, we received a 3.8oz plastic bottle of Wet Oil Base body glide lube. Just so you know, this is the first oil-based lube we’ve ever tried.”
Chuck: “This stuff rocks for jerkin off. I mean, we didn’t know what we were missing till Mick and I landed this Wet Oil Base for review.”
Mick: “Chuck and I sometimes have marathon edging sessions. We slip on our favorite cockring, pop in a hot porn DVD or two and stroke ourselves silly.”
Mick: “My dick used to get sore when all we had was water-based lube for these events. And there was the endless adding lube when the water-based stuff dried out, which it does very easily.”
Chuck: “So true. But Wet Oil Base is different, because it lasts and lasts. What a difference an oil-based formula makes!”
Mick: “You’ll want to be careful not to get this stuff on furniture. It’s a bitch to clean up. So when we’re havin one of our pullin our pud contests; we just put down some towels and let it rip!”
Chuck: “And just so you know; Wet Oil Base is not recommended for use with latex condoms.”
Mick: “And ya know my skin feels so soft and smooth after using this stuff. I guess it contains a bunch of moisturizers and whatnot.”
Chuck: “It’s odorless and colorless and it’s intended for external use only. So keep that in mind.”
Mick: “We think every guy should have a stash of Wet Oil Base for those times when only a little stroke session will do.”
Chuck: “Oh, and may I suggest that you use this product sparingly. A little goes a very long way. You never have to over do it.”

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Parachute Ball Stretcher & Pyramid Studded Cock Strap

Parachute Ball Stretcher —— $24.95

3 Snap Pyramid Studded Cock Strap —— $7.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have two great fun toys to tell you about. There’s a Ball Stretcher and a Cock Strap.”
Chuck: “You can use these together or separately. But we want to talk about them one at a time.”
Mick: “First up let’s take a look at this fine Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s the perfect cock and ball accessory and it’s functional too. Cockrings or, in this case, a strap are the first line of defense for erections. I think if more men knew about and used one of these devices there’d be less need for ED meds, like Viagra.”
Chuck: “Mick and I have a big collection of rings and straps between us. We both love the way they strengthen our erections. I’m partial to the strap kind of device, like this Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s easily adjusted for whatever kind of look I’m going for. Say I want a nice hard cock to pound some hot ass. I simply tighten the strap till it’s snug. But if I want to use it as jewelry to dress up my junk like for walkin around a sex club or a play party; well there’s nothing better than a studded cock strap. It beautifully frames your cock and balls. It has three snaps so it adjusts from 1.75 to 3 inches in diameter.”
Mick: “The black leather and studs are hot! Ya know, I’m seeing more and more younger guys using a strap like the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap on their wrist these days. Is it a fashion statement, or is it just that they want to be prepared for the unexpected hookup that could occur at any time?”
Chuck: “Either way, the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap is great. One thing you should know, however, is that ya gotta keep the strap clean if you want it to look its best and last. Wipe it down with a cloth dampened with warm soapy water and let it dry fully. Oil based lubes will take a toll on the leather if not cared for properly.”
Mick: “Good point!
Now let’s move on to the Parachute Ball Stretcher. Chuck has a set of beautiful low hanging balls. I dig this look a lot. I, on the other hand, was not so blessed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have what I admire. All I have to do is work on it and they will be mine.”
Chuck: “That’s where the Parachute Ball Stretcher comes in. Ya strap the black leather parachute thingy on to your ball sack snug up against your cock. This allows the chains suspended from it to hang free. And this is where things get interesting. With the Parachute Ball Stretcher in place, you can add weights to it; ya know for stretching your nut sack. No weights come with this package, but it’s not too difficult to find even makeshift weights around the house; and then there’s always the hardware store. There’s a O-ring on the end of the chains that make attaching the weights a snap.”
Mick: “If you’ve never tried ball stretching you’re in for a treat. It is very erotic and it actually works to add some length to how your jewels hang. I get off on this thing big time. The leather parachute is comfortable to wear for extended periods of time. My only caution to you is that you start out slow. Don’t go piling on the weights till you know what you’re doing.”
Chuck: “Like I said at the beginning, you can use these two things together, or separately.”
Mick: “Make your cock hard as a rock and/or stretch out your ball sack. Either way you win.”
Chuck: “And you’ll look hot doing either or both.”

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Get MAXXX Personal lube

Get MAXXX —— $21.99

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Our package of Get MAXXX clearly states: ‘purest silicon (sic) lubricant, Made in Germany.’ So we weren’t the least bit confused as to what kind of lube this was.”
Chuck: “We thought Get MAXXX worked best during our stroke sessions. It lubricates without reducing sensation and that’s important when we have one of our marathon sessions.”
Mick: “Yeah, we try to see who can outlast the other. So this is the perfect lube for those edging contests.”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX is long lasting and remains slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy. I hate it when lubes get sticky! It’s completely hypoallergenic too. Ya gotta love that. I love the pump container.”
Mick: “Remember, silicone-based lubes and silicone toys don’t mix!”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX has no discernable taste and it’s odorless.”
Mick: “It has a surprisingly light consistency, but like I’ve already mentioned; it holds up really well when things get hot and heavy.”
Chuck: “This stuff is fantastic with our glass dildos. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Mick: “Get MAXXX is about as health-conscious a lube as you will find anywhere. It stands up great to water (think shower, hot tub, whatever). My skin actually feels better after I use this stuff. I love it.”
Chuck: “Back to the packaging; the pump top can be locked by twisting it while it’s in the up position. It also comes with a plastic top lock that covers the spout to keep the lube from accidentally leaking out all over the place. That’s a real thoughtful addition, I can tell ya. I’ve had the misfortune of having a lube bottle open all over my toy box once. I was fuckin mad as hell.”
Mick: “Get some Get MAXXX today; you’ll be glad you did.”