Alumina Pace by Tantus

Alumina Pace —— $59.71

Denise
I had to have a little talk with Dr Dick a while back. I noticed that all the cool anal toys, like butt plugs, were being reviewed by only the guys in the Review Crew. “What’s up with that,” I asked. “A lot of us ladies like ass play too.” In his defense, Dr Dick said that he’s an equal opportunity ass-pleaser. And if I wanted to pleasure myself where the sun don’t shine, he had just the thing for me.

As luck would have it, my challenge to the boys only rule, which wasn’t really a rule, came at them most opportune time. It scored me this stunning 100% aeronautic grade aluminum plug, the Alumina Pace, by Tantus.

Tantus is famous for their beautiful silicone toys. We’ve reviewed several of them already. And as much as I love silicone, this aluminum plug is everything I could want.

The Alumina Pace is both stylish and functional. It is not a particularly big insertable; it’s about five inches long and the diameter is 1 1/4″ at its widest point. And it’s actually a doubleheader. You can insert either end!

The aeronautic grade aluminum is, of course, phthalate-free and non-porous. The Alumina Pace can be sterilized, which is important if you wish to share it with someone else. Soap and water is all you need for general cleanup, but you can also toss it in the dishwasher, boil it, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach or peroxide solution. It’s that easy.

The heft of the aluminum is also a plus. This distinguishes this plug from say a silicone plug. The extra weight is really nice. The teardrop shape of the one head and the bulbous shape to the other head both make for easy insertion and comfortable wearing. But both ends provide distinctive sensations.

The Alumina Pace can be both warmed and chilled for added sensations. If you’ve never had an insertable that you can enjoy in this fashion, I highly recommend you give it a try.

Another wonderful feature of aluminum is that you can use any sort of lube you’d like with it.

Here’s another great feature, the Alumina Pace is just one of the Tantus Alumina line. Each toy in this line is made of two ends that screw together, so you can mix and match. You can switch out the handle of one of the toys with the base of another and make a completely different toy in the process.

One final note, if by chance you aren’t into anal stimulation, you still ought not miss out on the Alumina Pace. This toy is as functional as a vaginal stimulator as an anal stimulator.

I couldn’t be happier with my Alumina Pace. It’s reasonably priced and it even comes in its own distinctive packaging that doubles as a beautiful storage box.

Roulette High Roller by Evolved Novelties

Roulette High Roller —— $73.41

Denise
Damn, the Roulette High Roller is pink! Not your pastel pink either; more like your shockingly crazy day-glo-pink variety. Pink is not my favorite color, by a long shot, but I didn’t let the color of the Roulette High Roller get in the way of me enjoying this delightful vibe. You shouldn’t let the color get in the way either.

The Roulette High Roller has just about everything I look for in a vibrator. There is a nice texture to the beautifully soft silicone shaft. It’s waterproof! And it has a pinwheel device that adjusts the variable vibration speed. There are no vibration patterns. But from my point of view, having a bunch of vibration modes is completely overrated. Give me a good strong steady vibration, and I’m a happy gal. And the more simple the controller the better. What gives with all the elaborate control panels on vibes these days? When I use a vibrator I want to get off, I don’t want to go to the moon!

The Roulette High Roller is mighty quite too.

Because the Roulette High Roller is silicone, it’s nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It’s also brilliantly easy to clean — mild soap and water will do, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, rubbing alcohol or peroxide. Because it’s waterproof, you don’t have to worry about submerging it in soapy water for a thorough cleaning. This is really important to me. I’m very leery about insertable toys you can’t thoroughly clean. The Roulette High Roller comes packaged in its own reusable plastic storage box too. Good thinking, Evolved Novelties!

This vibe is 8″ long total with 5′ being insertable. The girth starts off at a very manageable size and slowly increases to a little over 1.5″ in diameter. That’s not much bigger than my partner Ken’s cock.

The Roulette High Roller operates with two AA-batteries. They are not included in the package. Which is ok by me, since I switched to rechargeable batteries. Really cuts down on operating costs and there are no hazardous batteries to dispose of.

The battery compartment is very easy to open and close and, like I said, it creates a watertight seal.

All in all, this is a terrific dildo shaped vibe. I am of the mind that if you buy quality, for yourself or someone else, you save money in the long run. You can give the Roulette High Roller as a holiday gift with confidence.

Riley’s Pleasure Ring w/ Silver Bullet

Riley’s Pleasure Ring w/ Silver Bullet —— $24.99

Ken & Denise
Ken: “Denise and I are huge fans of Digital Playground. In fact our all time favorite movie is Pirates.”
Denise: “So imagine our delight when we heard that Digital Playground is now producing a line of sex toys with the Pirates theme.”
Ken: “Think of it as an adult version of the movie themed toys kids get at a fast food outlet.”
Denise: “We scored the Riley’s Pleasure Ring w/ Silver Bullet for review. It’s named after the porn star, Riley Steele, who appears in Pirates 2.”
Ken: “You get this white stretchy cockring that is molded with skulls and a hook to keep with the pirate theme. It’s pretty funny, actually. Anyhow, there’s a barrel shaped thingy on the top of the ring, this is where the silver bullet attaches to the ring in a horizontal fashion.”
Denise: “It is pretty comical, but it works! The bullet has 3 speeds and two pulse settings for variety. It’s amazing what they’re able to do with bullet vibes these days. It used to be, and not so long ago, they were only one speed.”
Ken: “Yeah, it work great as a vibe holder, but not so great as a cockring. I’m used to a much more snug ring. The Riley’s Pleasure Ring is way too stretchy to have any constriction capacity.”
Denise: “The Riley’s Pleasure Ring is made of TPE; Thermoplastic elastomer, sometimes referred to as thermoplastic rubber. Curiously enough the package is more about advertising the movies and the Pirates toy collection than about the materials used in the toy. The package does say that it is phthalate-free. So there’s that. I did look online for more product information, but didn’t find any. The Digital Playground website did say that the toy comes with a complimentary lined satin storage/travel pouch. But ours didn’t. It also says ‘Crystal enhanced handle’. WHAT? I think they need to review their ad copy.”
Ken: “The vibe is activated by a single push button which cycles it through its different settings; pretty straight forward. It takes three watch batteries and they are included in the package. You do not want to put any lube on the vibe before inserting it into the ring, that will make the bullet slip from its holder.”
Denise: “The ring itself is pretty easily cleaned with hot soap and water, but it really can’t be sterilized. The bullet is splash-proof so you can only can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Ken: “I’m gonna come right out and say it. I was expecting a lot more from a Digital Playground product. They make such great movies; clearly a lot of thought and money go into making them. But the Riley’s Pleasure Ring is just kitsch.”
Denise: “I have to agree. The vibrating cockring is a great idea, but this one is sub par, at least the ring part is. It seems like their only thought was to cash in on the Pirates theme; not a lot of thought went into making a quality product, which is really unfortunate.”

Elements Pi by Tantus

Elements Pi —— $49.00

Ken & Denise
Denise: “The Review Crew has reviewed a few Tantus products so far. You can find them HERE. From all we’ve seen, Tantus is a health conscious and pleasure centric company that is producing some really wonderful products.”
Ken: “The Elements Pi is a real good example of this corporate philosophy. It is made of 100% pure silicone, so you’ll never have to worry about using it internally. It is completely non-toxic and safe.”
Denise: “And because it’s nonporous high-grade silicone it is easy to clean and you can sterilize it too. This makes it the perfect toy to share.”
Ken: “And since both Denise and I are totally into our butts we love a toy we can share!”
Denise: “The Elements Pi is ideal for the novice butt pirate. It comes with a removable vibrator and features an arch of bead-shaped ripples from a very slim 5/8″ up to 1 1/4″ diameter. Its ergonomic base is molded to the probe end. And the silicone warms to your body. It also makes it is very pliable and comfortable.”
Ken: “The base also has a bit of a tab on it so that when inserted it provides a little extra ‘taint’ (perineum) massage. Very nice!”
Denise: “You should also know that the Elements Pi doubles as a fantastic G-spot vibe. The textured pad on the base, that Ken just mentioned, is an effective clit stimulator too.”
Ken: “If you are new to ass play, you’ll want to keep in mind that you need a lot of lube for any insertions. And in the case of the Elements Pi, because it is a quality silicone toy, you can only use a water-based lube. A silicone-based lube would degrade the toy’s surface and you don’t want that.”
Denise: “Ken and I can’t decide if the Elements Pi is a plug or a probe. I say it’s a little of both. The graduated sized beads on the shaft make for easy insertion even for someone unfamiliar with anything in her/his butt. The user can enjoy just hanging out with the toy on each of its ridges.”
Ken: “That’s true enough, but if it was supposed to be a plug, then there should have been another ridge or notch on the shaft at the base so that my ass sphincter could clamp down on it and keep the Elements Pi in place. As it is, that doesn’t happen and so I found that it kept slipping out of my hole. This was disappointing when I tried to use it as a plug in my ass while fucking Denise. But, I must say, it is terrific to sit on.”
Denise: “The bullet vibe that nestles in the base of the Elements Pi comes already loaded with batteries; those little round watch batteries. It has only the one speed, but I suppose you could easily swap it out for a dual-speed bullet of the same size.”
Ken: “I think I’d like to try a more powerful vibe, actually. Because the one that comes in the package didn’t impress me with the amount of vibration. Of course, high-grade silicone like this really dulls the vibration.”
Denise: “Exactly! But if I had to choose between a health conscious silicone toy and a strong vibrator, I’d choose the former.”
Ken: “This toy is built to last. It stimulates my P-spot prostate stimulators and Denise’s G-spot for exceptional orgasms. We both highly recommend this product.”

7 Super Stretch Sleeves

7 Super Stretch Sleeves —— $16.59

Ken & Denise
Denise: “It must be silly season in toyland.”
Ken: “You can say that again!”
Denise: “What we have here is 7 Super Stretch Sleeves. Six of them are 1.75” long and less than an inch in diameter. The seventh one is just short of 3” in length and only slightly larger in diameter.”
Ken: “They are made of a clear jelly material and each one has a slightly different configuration of bumps, points and nodules.”
Denise: “What are these things for, you might ask. Good question. Originally I thought they were to fit around a dildo shaped vibrator, or the like. The package shows that as an option.”
Ken: “But the package also says that one shouldn’t wear it for longer than 20 minutes. This suggests to me that these sleeves are supposed to be worn on a guy’s cock.”
Denise: “Well I guess that’s true if the said ‘guy’ has a teensy tiny unit. I couldn’t slip them over two of my fingers with ease. And I have slender fingers.”
Ken: “I took one look at these things and said forgetaboutit! I’m not heavy hung, by any means, but I couldn’t stretch one of these out enough to fit over my cock. And even if I had, it would have been so tight it would have strangled my poor boner.”
Denise: “And if you stretch the sleeve out, the bumps and ridges disappear, rendering them ineffectual. The 7 Super Stretch Sleeves set is completely silly. Move along, folks; there’s nothing to see here.”

Sex Toys & Vibrators

Clone-A- Willy Kit Glow in the Dark

Clone-A-Willy Kit Glow in the Dark —— $44.95

Ken & Denise
Ken: “We didn’t exactly know what we were getting into with this Clone-A-Willy Kit. It promises a lifelike replica of my dick that would Glow in the Dark. I was game, at least initially.”
Denise: “Yeah, we thought it would be a fun little project full of laughs. Well that’s how it started out anyway.”
Ken: “Since I was the one being ‘molded’, the pressure was on me to maintain an erection under less than erotic circumstances. I tell you, it’s not as easy as it sounds. I have a renewed appreciation for all the male porn stars out there, who seem to have a perpetual bone.”
Denise: “I don’t suppose I helped the situation all that much, because I became increasingly anxious about following the directions for preparing the molding goop. You actually have to have the water you mix with the powder at the precise temperature. And I read a lot of comments online posted by couples who screwed up the process and I sort of lost my nerve.”
Ken: “I suggested that we put the kit away till we were in a better mindset and I wasn’t worried about my boner.”
Denise: “We checked in with Dr Dick about our apprehensions and he told us to approach it alike a game, not a project. That helped some, because Ken and I were beginning to freak out about messing things up.”
Ken: “Dr Dick also suggested that I wear a cockring to help with maintaining my stiffy. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I also decided I’d slip in a little butt plug, because that always gets me going.”
Denise: “I decided to have a glass of wine…ok, it was a big glass of wine. And that helped too; it really took the edge off.”
Ken: “Denise was too busy organizing everything and mixing stuff to help me with my wood. Generally all she has to do is go down on me and I’m as hard as a rock.”
Denise: “Actually he did fine on his own. He’s such a trooper. All I can say is that I’m happy it wasn’t me that had to get turned on under these conditions.”
Ken: “Once the molding goop is ready it all has to be done very quickly. Luckily, I was ready. I sunk my junk into the goop and prayed that I’d hold the erection for the minute or so it takes for the mold to set up. A minute never lasted so long. We like totally recommend that you have something on the floor and the countertop to prevent spill messes.”
Denise: “Once this part was over and Ken removed his cock from the mold the worst of it was over. Ken jumped in the shower to remove the molding goop residue. And I had some breathing room while the mold dried. Another glass of wine and I was ready to prepare the rubber goop — two liquids that mix to make the rubber that fills the mold. I was worried that this part was going to be as anxiety provoking as the mold part, but it wasn’t so bad. You just have to remember to keep mixing the stuff for two minutes.”
Ken: “I prepared the vibration unit to place in the base of the mold. You get a piece of cardboard and cut a small hole in it. You slide the vibrator through the small hole. You then slip the vibrator into the rubber mix while letting the cardboard hold the vibrator up so it won’t slide into the rubber. And once I finished that part we got to relax.”
Denise: “24 hours later we pulled this amazingly realistic replica of Ken’s dick from the mold. It was such a hoot!”
Ken: “We nearly fell down laughing, because we were like mad scientists admiring our creation; this totally freaky day-glow green dildo.”
Denise: “Considering the effort we put into this, and that it is a replica of my man’s dong, I will treasure it always.”
Ken: “Actually, once we let go of our performance anxiety it was kinda fun. We both recommend the Clone-A-Willy Kit. And remember, if you mess up a batch you can always buy extra mixing materials.”