Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Dr.Love Silkening Lubricant —— $21.99

Ken & Denise
Ken: “This is sure enough a German product. You can tell by just looking at the package. The fine print comes in three languages; the primary one is German. I think they used a computer program for the translation into English.”
Denise: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Ken: “Nothing really. Just making a point about authenticity. This is the real deal. Oh and remember when we first looked at the package we weren’t able to tell what kind of lube it was?”
Denise: “Right! Nothing on the package says silicone-based. So we were a bit confused at first. The promotional materials that came with Dr.Love spelled it out, but there was nothing on the package that says so. And it’s important to know that sort of thing, because you wouldn’t want to use this lube with silicone toys. Maybe they just need to add a little stick-on label that says silicone-based. Just a thought.”
Ken: “Dr.Love is a lighter consistency than some of the other silicone-based lubes I’ve used. But it is thicker than your average water-based lube. It’s really silky to the touch and it has plenty of glide. You can tell it’s a quality lube, because you only need a little bit to make things slick as shit. And it’s a slick feeling, not a greasy feeling. There is a big difference, ya know.”
Denise: “There’s no significant smell or taste, which is very appealing to me. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Ken: “Dr.Love stands up to water very nicely, so it’s great to use in the shower. I love to squeeze one off in shower in the morning, so this a perfect lube for that. You’ll need soap and water for a thorough cleanup.”
Denise: “I thought it dried out a bit quicker than other silicone-based lubes we’ve tried especially when we do anal. But when I use it by myself for self-pleasuring, either with my hand or a toy, it last and lasts. I don’t understand why the discrepancy, but there ya have it.”
Ken: “We used Dr.Love in place of massage oil too and loved it. It feels great on our skin.”
Denise: “And I even used it on my hair as a conditioner; so there’s that. In fact, we went through our 3.4 fl.oz. container in less than a month. So you know we loved this stuff.”
Ken: “One last thing about the packaging. It has a nice pump-style squirt top. The promotional materials say: “Single hand use with drip free dispenser.” The single hand thing is a bit of a stretch, especially if your hand is slick with lube. But the drip-free claim is right on. It also comes with a little plastic doohickey that locks the pump in place so it can’t be pushed down accidentally. This is so important for travel or if you store your lube near your toys or clothing.”
Denise: “We both give Dr.Love high marks. Thanks Futuring International Ltd!

Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99

Ken
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat.  Oh wait, he did!  What luck for us!

I generally jerk off a couple of times a day.  This amazes my partner, Denise.  She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know.  I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid.  Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.

Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve.  Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother?  Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.

This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind.  This stuff rocks!  It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too.  They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.

The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you.  This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes.  But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.

When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me.  I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf.  Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing.  And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it.  The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.

I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin.  Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.

The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help.  However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother.  I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock.  I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that.  It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.

So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome.  Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.

Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied.  But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair.  I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.

So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out.  I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up.  This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned.  Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out.  Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.

Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry.  I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing.  DAMN!  After that, I decided to just let it air dry.

Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky.  I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.”  But what the fuck is “Renew”?  I looked on the Topco website and couldn’t find anything.  Luckily, Dr Dick told me a little secret.  Lightly dust with body powder or cornstarch to eliminate any stickiness.  Then you have to store it in a plastic bag to keep it fresh.

I loved the feel of the Cyberskin on my dick; I think you will too.  Fuckin it was a blast.  But I will save this toy for special jerk off occasions, because the cleanup is so labor and time intensive.

Sweet Pea —— $68.00

Denise

I have the pleasure of introducing you to a luscious little playmate, Sweet Pea, from a fantastic new company in British Columbia, Canada, Eros & Isis.  It’s such a rare find to discover a boutique adult products company.  I am so over the cookie-cutter, mass-produced stuff made of dubious materials that floods the marketplace.  How refreshing to discover a manufacturer with an environmental consciousness.  Long live Eros & Isis!

Sweet Pea is a petite, 3.5” x 2.5”, bulbous headed vibe made of 100% platinum silicone. It’s completely safe and non-toxic, which includes the natural mineral pigment embedded into the silicone to achieve the antique look of their toys.  It is meticulously sculpted, molded and cast by hand to appear as a turn of the century collectible.  It really is unique.  I haven’t seen its like anywhere else.

Sweet Pea features a removable one-speed bullet vibrator that can be replaced or upgraded to any bullet-style unit.  The bullet come packed with batteries, I’m happy to report.  So your first ride is on the house.  You can use Sweet Pea externally, but I prefer it as a pussy plug.  The sculpted base delivers delicious stimulation to my lips and clit.  And it is so soft and comfortable I can wear for an extended time. Very nice!

There’s a bit of a secret to removing bullet vibe from the base for cleanup or when you need to change the batteries.  Simply add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in.  Remember only water-based lube on a beautiful silicone toy like this. Work the lube around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO!  The vibe pops out.

Sweet Pea is just one of the gorgeous Eros & Isis toys and each is available in Gold, Silver, and Jade.  The silicone makes the toys easy to clean with soap and water.  But it also can be sterilized in boiling water or in the dishwasher; sans the vibe, of course.

The packaging is minimal, which is fine.  However, there is one thing I would suggest.  I really believe they need to add some kind of label to their packaging that touts they very special nature of their toys — handmade, nontoxic, 100% premium silicone, etc.  I know you can read about these things on their site and in their beautiful downloadable catalogue.  (Which you absolutely must download!)  But I don’t think that’s nearly enough.  For example, if I were to give Sweet Pea as a gift, I would want the packaging to tell the lucky person I’m giving it to all about the marvelous qualities of this special toy.

Looking for a unique gift for someone very special?  Take my advice and shop at Eros & Isis.

Vibratex Mystic Wand —— $69.99

Denise
I keep saying; my Hitachi Magic Wand is my all time favorite toy!  I ain’t about to give it up for nobody.  You’ll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands. Got it?  OK!

That being said, I have just discovered what I believe is the next best thing to my beloved Magic Wand.  I present you with the Mystic Wand.  It is the petite, cordless, waterproof sibling of the Magic Wand.  And it shakes my word just like its bigger, older sister.  It makes a perfect bath companion or a travel companion.  It even comes with a sweet little storage bag.

It should come as no surprise to any of us that Vibratex is also responsible for introducing the Hitachi Magic Wand to the American market over twenty years ago.  So hurray for that!

Mystic Wand uses of 4-AA batteries (not included in the package).  The battery compartment is easy to open, but battery placement is very difficult to figure out.  Only after I struggled with this puzzle for like 10 minutes, did I notice that there are miniscule images on the compartment that direct the user to the proper battery placement.

Like my trusty Magic Wand, this sweetheart of a vibe delivers amazing external stimulation.  I’m not all that found of insertable vibes, so Mystic Wand is perfect for me.  I love the ridges on its bulbous silicone head.  A little water-based lube to get things started and before you can say; “whoa nelly!’ I’m on my way to big O-town.

The Mystic Wand features six vibe modes, each one more delicious then the previous one.  And here’s something I really like; it has a separate on/off switch.  I hate having to cycle through a whole set of functions just to turn the blasted thing off.  Oh, and it’s surprisingly quiet; another big plus in my book.

The handle or base of the Mystic Wand is soft and silky.  Is that silicone too?  I wonder.  Whatever it is, it is ideal material to use on the handle.  It helps maintain a grip even with lubed fingers.

Silicone is hypoallergenic and non-porous. Clean up is super easy; wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

There is absolutely nothing I don’t like about this wonder; it gets my highest rating.  And for the modest retail price you get a very remarkable vibe indeed.

Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion ——  $16.95

Ken & Denise
Denise:  “I love games, all kinds of games.  I guess I’m just a party girl at heart.”
Ken:  “I, on the other hand, think most games, especially parlor games are boring.”
Denise:  “Yeah, but this one is different, because it’s like a sex game.”
Ken:  “So we had two of our favorite couples over for dinner last week.  We were all sufficiently socially lubricated, if ya catch my drift.  We plunked ourselves down in front of the fire for a little postprandial toke, when little Mary sunshine over here hauls out the Truth or Dare game!”
Denise:  “What a better time for a little fun?”
Ken:  “I’m thinkin’ ‘oh god, do we have to?’  But our friends who are green with envy over our gig on Dr Dick’s Review Crew were like, ‘cool, let’s do this!’”
Denise:  “Luckily, considering the condition we were all in, the game is super simple.  There’s one die that you roll and two stacks of cards — one marked Truth, the other marked Dare.”
Ken:  “The die has Truth or Dare on six of the eight sides.  The other two sides have the word ‘Wild’ on it.  If you roll that, you get to choose either a Truth or Dare card.  Then you can either do the thing yourself or order your partner to perform the task, or you can pass.”
Denise:  “We all got increasingly silly as the game wore on.  If you choose a Truth card, it may read, ‘If you could watch an intimate moment from your partner’s life before your met, what would that be?’ ‘Would you ever buy a private lap dance for your partner?’  ‘What authority figure possesses the most erotic possibilities for you?’  ‘What sensual characteristic or ability do you envy in the opposite sex?’”
Ken:  “The Dare” cards are equally innocuous; however, they often involve props — computers, whipped cream, makeup, etc.  ‘You are the subject of an impromptu erotic photo shoot.  You partner will be the photographer…’  ‘Perform a seductive and enticing striptease to the music of your choice.’ ‘Create a bondage costume using nothing but plastic wrap!’  You get the idea.”
Denise:  “Some of the Dare cards involve calling other people on the phone to ask dumb questions.  This is never a good idea, especially when the person you’re calling isn’t as loaded as you are.  But we just disregarded those commands, and we had a ball.”
Ken:  “I think our friends were a bit intimidated by some of the tasks.  They’re not as big a freaks as us.  But it’s true; fun was had by all.”
Denise:  “Good point!  Before you consider playing this game with anyone other than your significant other, review the cards to see if it’s actually a good idea for the company you have in mind.”

Three lucky members of the Dr Dick Review Crew have been having a gay old time with the new signature line of personal lubricants.

These particular lubes come from the good folks at Fleshlight and FleshJack.

We’re all pretty ga-ga about the fleshlight products here at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.  (Check out my review of the granddaddy of male masturbation toys HERE!)

So it comes as no surprise that these wizards have developed their own line of water-based lubes to go with their fine products, or that can be used on their own.

Today we welcome a new Review Crew Member, Madora.  She joins Ken and Dixie, who introduce us to the new lubes.

Fleshlube Elements Pack $24.95

This Package Includes:
- 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Water
- 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Fire
- 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Ice

Fleshlube WATER

Madora

What can I say?  There’s nothing I don’t love about Fleshlube WATER by the makers of the Fleshlight.  It’s super smooth, weightless, light, it’s water based so it’s safe to use with my favorite silicone vibe (The PAPAYA Toy (“I call him Papi”) Rainbow silicone vibe, oh my).  One of my favorite parts about it is that you use a little and then you just completely forget you’re using lube, it’s so natural feeling.

I’m not into putting tons of chemicals on my private parts so the fact that it’s got only five ingredients makes me terribly happy.  The main ingredient is Purified water and it actually contains honeysuckle extract.  Is it just me, or is honeysuckle an incredibly sexy word?  Either way it fits right in.

So far I’ve only used it solo cause, well, I’m single right now and I’m the only one I love enough to get that close to my honeypot.  It’s like a ménage trois with just me, my PAPAYA Toy, Rainbow (I will be posting my review of this gem in the weeks to come) and our close personal friend, Fleshlube WATER.  Feel the love.

Fleshlube WATER is also hypoallergenic so it’s great for people with sensitive skin and it comes in a recyclable plastic bottle with a simple sleek design.  If Fleshlube WATER Lubricant were the only lube I ever used for the rest of my life, I’d be totally fine with that.

It even comes in different styles, the WATER one that I used; the ICE, one that Dixie used; and the FIRE, one that Ken used.  But they will speak for themselves.

As for me, bring em on, Dr. Dick. I’ll try anything these guys make.

Now here’s Dixie!

Fleshlube ICE

Dixie
Thanks Madora, and welcome to the Review Crew!

I have to agree with Madora about the attributes of Fleshlube ICE Lubricant; like the WATER lube that she used, mine is also silky smooth and lightweight.  And of course, it’s water based so it’s safe to use with my silicone toys and latex condoms. So hurray for that!  The “ice” or cooling effect is very nice too.  Nothing overpowering, it’s more of a gentle sensation.

I took a slightly different tact with my review.  I decided to dig deeper into the ingredients of this product.  Madora mentioned honeysuckle extract.  My lube also has honeysuckle extract.  I had never heard of this additive before, so I thought I’d look that up on the interweb tubes.  I discovered that in traditional Chinese medicine, honeysuckle is used to clear heat and toxins from the body.  Recent studies in China found honeysuckle to be effective in reducing inflammation, fever, and infection.  I think that’s really interesting.

Fleshlube ICE also contains glycerin.  This might be a concern to some.  Even though the vast majority of skin care, hair care and other products marketed as “moisturizing”, “hydrating” or “replenishing” use glycerin as one of their main active ingredients. Glycerin draws moisture from the lower layers of the skin and holds it on the surface.  So some claim that basically you rob Peter to pay Paul, as it were

The ICE or cooling agent is: Menthyl Lactate, which is a cooling agent derived from an ester of menthol and lactic acid.  An ester, I discovered, is a compound formed from alcohol and an acid by eliminating the water.  I’m like getting this chemistry lesson along with my pleasuring.  It is intended to create a cooling sensation, but if the skin is irritated, it can sometimes read the sensation as warm.  By the way, the cooling sensation makes it a wonderful ingredient for summer.  And we’re having a bitch of a summer here in the Emerald City.

Now here’s Ken!

Fleshlube FIRE

Ken

I have the Fleshlube FIRE lube.  I think it’s great.  It does have a nice warming component to it that kicked up my jerk-off session a notch.  It felt really good on my dick and balls, but also on my butthole.  I’m not big on insertions of any sort.  I know, I know, I’m missing out…maybe one of these days.  But still I do like a nice rim job.  And since I can’t rim myself, this Fleshlube FIRE lubricant is the next best thing when I’m by myself.

I was all excited about turning my partner, Denise, on to Fleshlube FIRE, but she wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as I was.  She has really sensitive skin.  I mean you can just look at her crooked and she breaks out with the heebee jeebees.

Once she had a look at the ingredients she nixed the idea of use on or with her.  She was happy to see the lube was paraben-free.  Apparently parabens can be found in shampoos, commercial moisturizers, shaving gels, cleansing gels, personal lubricants, topical pharmaceuticals and toothpaste. They are also used as food additives in some products.

Denise said that parabens can mimic the hormone estrogen, which is known to play a role in the development of breast cancers. It can also adversely affect the secretion of testosterone and the function of the male reproductive system. That pretty much sold me on avoiding parabens in the future, that’s for damn sure.

The next thing that concerned Denise was the additive:  Propylene Glycol.  I guess this is something like Glycerin, because it works as a hydrating factor, but it too draws moisture from the lower part of the skin to the surface giving only the impression of moisturizing (rather than actually doing it!).

There were other ingredients too, like carbomer and triethanolaminem, which I didn’t research.  Finally there’s Sucralose, which is an artificial sweetener.

So ok, for the purists among us, Fleshlube ICE may not be your lube of choice.  But for people like me, people with more hearty skin; this lube is a great alternative to boring, plain, everyday lube.  You decide!

ENJOY

IRIS by LELO $129.00

Denise

I’m in love with LELO!  I feel like I’ve scored the Review Crew jackpot with my IRIS.

I have the pleasure of introducing you to IRIS, the beautifully designed and multifunctional silicone vibrating dildo, I mean insertable…I mean pleasure object.  Sheesh! LELO is so freakin’ high-end that they’ve taken it upon themselves to euphemize their sex toys as pleasure objects.  I say; “a rose by any other name…”

I’ve never been one to buy into the hype about sex toys, especially hype generated by a toy’s manufacturer about its own products.  But somehow “pleasure object” fits in this case.   LELO spares no expense in treating their customers like we’re someone special.  I mean, everything from the stylish upscale (some would say overkill) packaging to the 1-year LELO warranty confidently states quality.  Is there another toy on the market that comes with a warranty?

IRIS comes in three appealing girly colors, mine is pink.  Judging just from the color palette this pleasure object is obviously part of LELO Femme line.  They also have their Homme line that features guy toys in guy colors.   I’m not so particular about color, but I’ll bet a man would be less inclined to buy an IRIS because of the color.  And that’s too bad, because this toy could easily be enjoyed by either gender or everyone in between.

IRIS is also rechargeable, so a big hurray for that!  A three-hour wall charge gives it up to five hours of power.  Mmmm!  And because it’s fully charged at the factory, you can start playing with the IRIS immediately.  Extra points for that!

(By the way, I’m trying to be as responsible as I can with my motorized toys.  Whenever possible I choose rechargeable.  When that’s not and option I always use rechargeable batteries.  To do less is a both expensive and decidedly un-GREEN.)

The insertable part of IRIS is made of firm high-grade silicone molded into a stylized (slightly curved) flower bud shape.  Very appealing!  I like a little texture to my dildos, so this is perfect for me.  And get this; there two separate motors in this baby — one in the shaft and one in the tip. These can be controlled separately or together.

Despite the two motors, the level of vibration can’t compare to a couple of other vibes I own.  That actually surprised me, because I was expecting the IRIS to jump out of my hand on the high speed. The sensations are pleasant enough, and I could easily distinguish between the vibrations produced in the shaft as opposed to those produced in the tip.  Just don’t expect it to knock your socks off.   The motors, however, are very quiet; a feature that is very important to me.  I hate it when a vibe sounds like a lawnmower.

You’ll probably want to use lube with IRIS, because she’s thicker than a lot of toys.  Be sure you use only a water-based lube on a beautiful silicone pleasure object like this.  Using a silicone-based lube will destroy IRIS.  Because of it’s length, the pleasure is deep as well as full.

The control button is lighted and it allows me to increase the intensity of vibrations as well as cycle through the five pulsation modes.  However, the controls in the handle aren’t particularly easy to adjust with lubed fingers.  This can be pretty frustrating.

Oh, and here’s something really important; IRIS is splash proof, not waterproof.  There is little rubber cover that protects the charging port from moisture.  But if you somehow get water in there, be sure to let the thing dry completely before you try to recharge.

Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

Besides the elegant gift box IRIS comes in, LELO also includes a satin pouch to keep her in between uses.  Now that’s thoughtful.

With proper care, IRIS will last a very long time.  It’s all quality all the time over there at LELO.  Undoubtedly, IRIS is pricey!  But in this case, you can be sure that you are getting your money’s worth.  This high-end product makes the perfect gift for someone special.  And since June is wedding month, why not put a smile on any brides face, and possibly every groom’s too.  Give the blushing couple a LELO instead of a toaster and you’ll shake things up a little.

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out.  Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos.  I’m a big fan of Hans’.  He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist.  He really knows his wood and his woodies!  We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs.  When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken:  “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza.  I lucked out!  Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise:  “That is so true.  Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken:  “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own.  I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise:  “I stand corrected.  Maybe I need to be punished. 
Ken:  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise:  “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken:  “We seem to be veering off topic.  Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo.  It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry.  Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise:  “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that!  It also has a very traditional shape to it.  Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken:  “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise:  “You betcha!  I’m real old fashioned gal that way.  I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken:  “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo.  It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise:  “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken:  “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise:  “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry.  They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken:  “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise:  “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken:  “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise:  “What a great idea!  I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”

ENJOY!

Ken & Denise introduce us to one of the beauties from NobEssence — TRYST.

TRYST $180.00

Denise:  “Thank you for the warm welcome to the Dr Dick Review Crew.  It’s been a blast…literally and figuratively.”
Ken:  “Denise has been eager to join our little club since our adventures with The Vergenza Mk. I.”
Denise:  “This time we have an equally beautiful and oh so functional dildo/massager, TRYST.  It’s sculpted wood.  Isn’t it gorgeous?
Ken:  “Yeah, like The Vergenza Mk. I, TRYST is a work of art.
Denise:  “It’s is ‘double header’, if you will.  One end is round, smooth and bulbous.  It is uniquely shaped to stimulate either G-spot or P-spot. The other end is a beaded sort of thing that supplies the most delicious rippling sensation.  And each end is perfectly angled to act as a handle when the other end slides into place.  It’s brilliant!”
Ken:  “I’ve never used anything like it.  I mean, it’s10” long.  The bulb end is 1 1/2” at the tip, but it then widens to a 2” body before the traditional plug notch.  The beaded end is curved, but smaller— an 1” at its widest point.”
Denise:  “And, of course, TRYST can be used vaginally and anally.  Or did you already get that from my G-spot or P-spot reference?  I’m a little slow sometimes.”
Ken:  “We’ve enjoyed this dildo every which way.  And we haven’t tied of it yet.
Denise:  “I sense that some of our visitors may be apprehensive about wood as an insertable.  Well let me put your mind at ease.  It’s perfectly safe.  These sculptures are sealed with an impermeable finish that is hypoallergenic, sent-free, waterproof and bacteria resistant.  And because wood is all natural, there are no worries about chemical additives, like phthalates.”
Ken:  “Yeah, this is about as green as you can get.”
Denise:  “Clean up is a breeze.  Warm water and a mild soap do the trick.  When we trade off using this gem; we wipe it down with peroxide and a lint-free towel.  But you can use alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.
Ken:  “Mick said something about how slick his toy got with just the smallest amount of lube.  The same is true with TRYST.  Like those guys we prefer a silicone-based lube.  And another noteworthy thing is that wood will warm to your body temperature as you use it.”
Denise:  “All NobEssence sculptures come in beautifully designed gift boxes.  Perfect for holiday gift giving.”
Ken:  “This is a very special gift for that very special someone.  It is both artistic and sensual.  If you want to make a HUGE impression; this will make the point.”

The Vergenza Mk. I $140.00

“I can’t believe you want me to stick this beautiful thing in my ass!” That’s my friend Ken talkin’ to me as he slowly removes the Vergenza Mk. I from its stylish velvet pouch and lazily rolls it around in his hands. “It is stunning, isn’t it? I say with equal admiration. “But hey, why shouldn’t your ass (or someone’s pussy) be treated to something this beautiful all the time?” Ken nods in agreement. “Yeah, that’s right; my ass deserves the best!”

Thus, I’m happy to report, a love affair was born.

Ken is, as we say here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the consummate B.O.B. (Big Old Bottom)! His hole is the center of his universe. Where other men are dick-centric; Ken is decidedly ass-centric. Not only does he know his way around his butt, but he has trained many others to savor the intense pleasure only butt play can produce. And Ken promises that one of his trainees, his sometime play partner Denise, will enjoy this beauty. So I knew at once that Ken would be the idea person to put the Vergenza Mk. I through its paces.

Before we get to far ahead of ourselves, I want to lay before you the vision that is the Vergenza Mk. I. It is composed of aircraft-quality spun aluminum — a safe, non-porous and sterile material. It is eight inches long and one and one-quarter inches wide. It weighs in at nearly a pound. (We will soon discover that this heft is gonna come in handy, but I digress.)

As you can see from the photo this beauty is a double header. Each end is sculpted into a different configuration and each end is insertable. The six consecutive orbs on the one end provide a delightfully bumpy ride to heaven. The opposite end is a shorter, sleekly tapered, smooth insert. You’ll also notice that each end not only functions as a dildo, but also as a plug. There is a difference, you know.

Notice the traditional notch and tapering that allows one’s sphincter to close around it and lock either end into place. That, sex fans, is what transforms a common dildo into a butt-plug. (Again, this little tidbit will cum into play when we hear back from Ken.)

For those unfamiliar with the concept of a metal insertable you are missing out. This high-grade aluminum is unbeatable in terms of smoothness and versatility. It’s nontoxic and it’s the easiest material to keep sanitary, because it’s nonporous. Unlike that other exceptionally versatile material, glass, aluminum will not break or shatter. And the Vergenza Mk. I is domestically manufactured, so you’ll never have to worry about where it came from, who made it, under what conditions, or the quality of the materials used. And considering the state of a lot of imported sex toys these days; that’s a huge relief.

Everyday cleanup is a snap with soap and water. To sterilize simply drop it into a pot of boiling water for a minute or two. Or if you’re completely fagged out by all your play, you can just pop the blasted thing in the dishwasher before you drift off to a well-deserved post-coital nap.

Now let’s get back to Ken and find out what kind of mischief he gotten into since he left my house with the Vergenza Mk. I tucked safely under his arm.

As I suspected Ken reserved the first ride for himself, no fool he! To kick things up a notch, Ken decided to chill the Vergenza Mk. I before he began his solo play. “There’s nothing like cold metal on hot hole to produce an earth-shaking orgasm.” He proudly proclaims. (I forgot to mention that a metal insertable can be warmed and chilled to create unique sensations beyond the feelings produced by the insertion itself.)

Apparently Ken had the time of his life, buggering himself senseless with one end of the Vergenza Mk. I and then the other. Ken really liked the heft of this wand the best. He said that besides the pleasure it induced as a dildo, it turned out to be the most amazing tool for toning his PC muscles, “Doin’ Kegels with this thing in your ass is quite a work out!” Ken knows what every power-bottom knows; taut and toned PC muscles keep his caboose from goin slack and saggy.

“I have a play party set up with Denise for tomorrow. So I’ll be able to introduce the Vergenza Mk. I to her pussy then. She’s going to be one happy camper!” Everyone here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice waited with bated breath for the following report to come in. And it did…in less then 36 hours. Ya gotta love a man who is so prompt with his reporting.

“Denise got off on this thing big time! She loved the heft and density of the Vergenza Mk. I. She like the end with the bumps the best. The smooth end was nice and it seemed to stimulate her G-spot better than the bumpy end, but she couldn’t get enough of the bumps. She’s kind of a freak that way.” How does that old saying go? “Ribbed for her pleasure!”

Ken went on to say that once Denise got off on vaginal stimulation a couple of times, he flipped her over for some of that promised backdoor action. Ken wants to remind everyone that going from pussy to ass pleasure is ok, but definitely not the reverse. “Never put anything that has been in an ass anywhere else, especially not in a vagina!”

Before the flip, Ken completely cleaned the Vergenza Mk. I with hand soap and lots of hot water. “This really warmed up our magic wand for my ass-ult on Denise’s butt. She completely loved the warm sensations. And this thing really held its heat for a long time. In the butt play department, Denise favored the tapered smooth end to the end with the bumps. She said this was the best butt-plug she ever experienced.” Denise agreed with Ken; the weight of the Vergenza Mk. I made for a challenging Kegel exerciser. This is another good reason why this toy is so great. It’s so damn versatile.”

My hat is off to this young toy manufacturing company. They have set a high standard for themselves (and others) and if the pedigree of the Vergenza Mk. I continues in future works of insertable art, we will all be the richer for it.

So the consensus is the Vergenza Mk. I is well worth its high-end price. Dramatic design, stunning craftsmanship and versatility make it a toy that you’ll be proud to own; and one that will last a lifetime.

ENJOY