Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Magic Massager —12 Function, 3 Attachments —— $46.30

Joy
Can you believe it’s 2010 already? I’ve been a Review Crew member for two and a half years. And in that time I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to a load of great products, but also some not so great as well.

Today’s review falls squarely into the great product category. I want to tell you about the Magic Massager from Blush Novelties. This thing is phenomenal. It’s a mini-wand type of vibrator; it’s only about 8 inches long from tip to tail. It’s powered by 4 AA batteries (not included in the package).

One would expect a diminutive vibe like this to carry only 2 AA batteries, right? Well, maybe it’s the two extra batteries, but whatever it is this thing is the strongest vibrator, per inch, I have ever used. It rocks my world, baby!

It features a 12-mode vibration system with a LED control panel. Can ya stand it? I mean, come on; that’s freakin overkill, ain’t it? Honestly, the first time I had the Magic Massagerworking its …ahhh magic on my girly parts, I couldn’t honestly say I got beyond the first 5 modes before I got off TWICE! It’s that great. When I took the time to investigate all the modes, I was able to distinguish between all the vibration functions. There’s this one, #9 I think, that is totally crazy. It feels like the thing is running out of power and just when you think it’s gonna die it come roaring back to life. Loved it! And even when the Magic Massager is rockin out, it’s pretty quiet.

One thing to note, the user has to cycle through all of the modes to get to the one she likes the best. But there is an off button that stops the vibe altogether, which is much appreciated.

The Magic Massager comes with 3 soft and pliable attachments — a dome shape, a flat grooved shape and a beaded shape. The beaded shape is my favorite. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the package about what the attachments are made of. I am pretty sure it’s not silicone. I used a silicone-based lube with it and it appears to be fine. (Note to manufacturer: it’s always a good idea to include information on the materials used in producing the toy. This helps the consumer make an educated decision on if it is right for her/him.)

Besides the vibrating functions and the three attachments, this puppy is waterproof. And anyone who follows my reviews knows I’m all about bringing toys to the bath.

The battery compartment is a bitch to open. I struggled with it till I almost gave up. And you must sure to replace the little clear O-ring properly, or the vibe will not be waterproof.

This is a unisex toy. Boys as well as girls will really have a ball with this. You’ll be hard pressed to find a more powerful and versatile vibe at this low price. It comes in very nice, yet modest packaging. Get one today!

Love Connection —— $24.33

Joy
My partner, Dixie, and I each got a Doc Johnson toy to review.  Dixie posted her Wish-Bone Vibe review two weeks ago.  I got the equally cute, Love Connection to review.

This sweet little multi-speed vibe is actually two vibes in one.  There are two different silicone attachments that you screw on to the hard plastic base.  I’ve used other vibes that offered attachments, but I was disappointed to discover that I couldn’t count on the attachment staying in place during use.  The Love Connection is different.  The two attachments actually screw on to the handle, so there’s no chance the thing will come off when you’re using it.

But the best thing about this little wonder is that it’s waterproof.  There’s nothing that satisfies like a vibe in the bath.  There is a one touch fingertip control button on the base of the handle that allows you to cycle through the three speeds.  This is not a powerhouse vibe, but you wouldn’t expect it to be, being such a cute little thing.  But it gets the job done.

This would make the ideal vibe for travel.  It’s discreet, and it’s quiet.  The Love Connection runs on 2 AAA batteries.  Unfortunately, they are not included in the package.

Looking for a sweet little stocking stuffer for the naughty gal on your list?  You can’t go wrong with the Love Connection.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Awesome Blossom —— $46.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “We have a beauty for you this week.  It’s called Awesome Blossom.”
Joy:  “We are like totally getting into glass insertables.  Six months ago we didn’t own a one.  Now we do though.”
Dixie:  “Yep, we are now the proud owners of three glass dildos.  And they are spectacular.  There is something about glass that really turns my crank.”
Joy:  “Awesome Blossom is made of tempered glass.  If you treat it with respect, as you would any fine adult toy, this thing will last a lifetime.”
Dixie:  “Glass is so practical.  There are no batteries to run down; nothing to recharge.  It’s ready when you are.”
Joy:  “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap.  For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine.  You can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. However, if you’re gonna share your Awesome Blossom or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended.  Slip it into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go.  Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  And we’re all about sharing.”
Joy:  “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our gay-boy friends, that Awesome Blossom makes a wonderful ass play toy too.  You see it has a base on it that will keep it from popping into your pooper.  The base also lets us use it in our harness.  So there’s that!”
Dixie:  “You can either chill or warm this beauty.  And when it comes to lube; any lube will do.  Regardless what kind of lube you choose, just know that a little goes a very long way.”
Joy:  “In our rush to tell you all the features of glass, we have yet to describe Awesome Blossom.  Atop the spiraled, clear-green shaft there is a clear teardrop shaped head.  Inside the head is a three-dimensional image of a flower.  The flower is a kind of wildflower, I would guess.  The kind that blankets a meadow in the spring. It’s really sweet and lovely.”
Dixie:  “The shaft is just over 1″ in diameter.  The head is only a bit larger at about 1 1/4″ in diameter. The whole thing is just under 8” tall. There’s a bit of a curve to the shaft which make it perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.
Joy:  “We LOVE our awesome Awesome Blossom! We both highly recommend this toy.”
Dixie:  “There is only one drawback.  This beautiful, beautiful functional art piece does not come with a storage pouch.  What’s up with that?  It certainly deserves one.  We wrap ours in a towel to keep it safe when it’s not punishing our pussies.  You’ll want to do the same.”
Joy:  “This would make the ideal gift for someone special.”

Joy & Dixie have the pleasure of introducing you to a new kid on the block, Duncan Charles Designs.  They specialize in unique, handcrafted ceramic adult toys.

Signature —— $55.00

Dixie:  “Here’s something refreshing, this ceramic textured dildo is handmade!  I’m so tired of mass-produced sex toys, aren’t you?   Oh to have something unique, something that is crafted not manufactured.”
Joy:  “Dixie is so right; I love knowing that no one else on the planet had precisely the same toy as we have.  Each Duncan Charles Designs piece is unlike any other.  In fact, it’s beautiful art.  And it is GREEN!”
Dixie:  “Signature has a food grade high-gloss coating that makes it as smooth as glass. But it is also textured, just the way we like it.  Despite it being ceramic, there is nothing fussy about this beauty.”
Joy:  “However, you will want to treat Signature with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a fine-looking sculpture.”
Dixie:  “Signature comes wrapped in a lovely lined ultrasuede pouch.  Ours is jet black, but it also comes in red.  It’s just under 8″ long and weighs in at just over 8 ounces.”
Joy:  “It has a rounded head on top of its scalloped shaft.  The ridges add immeasurable fun.  Because of the super high-gloss finish, we only had to use a little bit of lube.  And you can use any type of lube you want with this ceramic baby.”

Dixie:  “This dildo is designed for g-spot, clitoral or prostate massage.  Unlike most of the other G-spot stimulators that have a curve to them Signature is straight as an arrow.  And yet it is just as effective as the curved ones.”
Joy:  “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Signature to suit my mood. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by placing it under running hot water.”
Dixie:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Joy:  “Signature is so inexpensive considering what you get. — it’s a unique, multi-functional dildo, it’s a work of art, and it will never run out of batteries.”
Dixie:  “And, I might add, it’s GREEN.  Kudos Duncan Charles Designs!  Nothing to poison the environment or compromise your body’s health and wellbeing.  In short, Signature rocks my (our) box!”

LUNA BEADS —— $47.00

Joy & Dixie

Joy:  “We’re glad to be back with everyone after having a couple months off.  We were on an extended holiday and we missed all our toys at home while we were away.”
Dixie:  “That’s not exactly true, we did take a couple of our favorite toys with us.  One new one that we well talk about at another time, and the other was our delightful LUNA BEADS.  They are very discreet and easy to pack. And they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Joy:  “LUNA BEADS are LELO’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You’ve heard of them, right?  They were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance female sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these puppies.
Dixie:  “Here’s a tip; the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.”
Joy:  “You simply insert the LUNA BEADS, each of which has an inner ball that creates the most amazing vibration sensation.”
Dixie:  “The kit comes with two sets of silicone balls that pop in and out of a plastic girdle – one set is close to 30 grams and the other set is around 40 grams.”
Joy:  “You can mix and match the weighted balls to build up your PC muscles. And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  I know I like!”
Dixie:  “Being made of silicone they are easy to steralize, which makes the LUNA BEADS shareable.  But for under $50 you may want your own set.”
Joy:  “Dixie and I both like to masturbate with the LUNA BEADS.  They deliver intense orgasms, because your muscles contract around the vibrating balls.”
Dixie:  “You can say that again.  And there’s never a need to change batteries or wait for a recharge.  You can see why we took the LUNA BEADS on our vacation.”
Joy:  “We completely endorse this product.  They are both fun and healthful.  We’ll never leave home without them.”
Dixie:  “Given all the very expensive toys out there, including several of the other LELO products, one can’t go wrong plunking down your hard-earned money for a set of these.”
Joy:  “Our friend, Karen, is about to give birth to her first child.  We’re going to give her LUNA BEADS at the baby shower.  No mother should be without!”

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with Part 2 of our Simply Blown reviews.  Did you somehow miss Part 1?  Not to worry, you can see it HERE!

These exquisite glass insertables are museum quality.  Each is a unique, sexy Objet d’Art.

Today Joy and Dixie present The Two Way

The Two Way

Joy:  “First off, there is no way a photo on a website could ever capture the stunning beauty of The Two Way.”
Dixie:  “That is so true!   When either one or both of us aren’t enjoying The Two Way in the bedroom; it is proudly displayed on our mantelpiece on its own Plexiglas stand. Can ya stand it?”
Joy:  “I actually prefer this in my pussy, or better yet as a double dong for both our pussies; but it is lovely on the mantel, that’s for damn sure.”
Dixie:  “The Two Way is made of Pyrex glass.  Ya know, that durable glass that daily takes a beating in your kitchen.”
Joy:  “It’s a whooper too!  It’s approximately 12” long x 1” diameter. It weighs a hefty 1lb 12.6 oz.  It’s quite a handful.  There is no texture to it; it’s totally smooth.”

Dixie:  “Actually, it’s more than a handful.  More than even two hands full.”

Joy:  “And as I said, your can play with this solo, or make it a party for two.  There is nothing gender specific about this; so boys can have a ball with this too!”
Dixie:  “If you are unfamiliar with glass insertables, you should know that the market is currently being flooded with glass products.  Very few of them are as fine a quality as The Two Way.  The cheap knock-offs are being mass-produced in China.  I’d avoid that stuff like the plague, if i were you.  In this instance, you should expect to pay some real good money, $120+, for something top of the line like this.”
Joy:  “Glass is like no other sex toy material.  With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick.  And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Dixie:  “The Two Way, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too.  Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up.  But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or dip it in boiling water for a couple of minutes.  Because glass is non-porous, it is the ideal material for the toys one shares.”
Joy:  “There is no base on The Two Way.  That’s why it’s double trouble, if ya catch my drift.  But it’s long enough and heavy enough so there won’t be any chance it could get stuck inside.”
Dixie:  “Generally we are able include a retail price and a link to an online store with our reviews.  Unfortunately, we can’t do that this week. Simply Blown is so new a company that you’ll just have to contact them directly and ask for pricing.”

ENJOY

Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet $13.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “Now for the bad news.”
Joy:  “As you know, we had these two bullet vibes to test — Excite-Her Silver Bullet and Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet.  One was great, the other…not so much.”
Dixie:  “We liked the Excite-Her Silver Bullet, it was very nice.”
Joy:  “The Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet is another story.  It too is an oversized bullet vibe, bigger even than the Excite-Her.  I loved the size of the bullet; the bigger the better for my vaginal insertions, thank you very much!” 
Dixie:  “And like it’s smaller sibling, this vibe is also waterproof.  But again I want to point out that the bullet itself is the only thing that is waterproof.  The hand-held controller/battery case is definitely not waterproof.”
Joy:  “And that gets us to the problem with this vibe.  The power-pack sucks, and not in a good way.”
Dixie:  “Yeppers, Joy’s right.  I mean the concept is a good one — it has a varying speed dial on the side of the hand-held power-pack that is supposed to adjust the vibe speed incrementally, like a rheostat on a light switch.”
Joy:  “If the manufacturer had pulled this off, the Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet would rock — big bullet and varying speed.  Sadly, the rheostat thingy is made really cheaply and so it really doesn’t work.  It turns on ok, but dialing the speed up or down just made the vibe sputter.  BUMMER!”
Dixie:  “The Mega Silver Bullet runs on three AA batteries.  And like all the toys from this company, the first set of batteries is not included in the package.
Joy:  “We cannot recommend this vibe.  We do, however, have a few words of advice for the Synergy Erotic people.  Why not invest more in the production values of your products and make a name for yourself in terms of quality, not price per unit. We’d be willing to pay considerably more for a vibe, like this, that actually worked as advertised.”
Dixie:  “What’s the use of spending a mere $16 for a toy that will wind up in the trash in no time.  It’s a shameful waste, if you ask me.”

Excite-Her Silver Bullet, Luster Pink        $11.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “We have some good news and some bad news.”
Joy:  “We had two bullet vibes to test — Excite-Her Silver Bullet and Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet.  One was great, the other…not so much.”
Dixie:  “First the good news.  The Excite-Her Silver Bullet was very nice.  It has two speeds; a single button control mechanism, which worked just fine; and it’s waterproof.  What’s not to like, right?”
Joy:  “It’s an oversized bullet that really delivers the vibration.  You can use it externally, or internally — vaginally or anally.  Although, I must say, I don’t know if I trust the wire that attaches to the bullet to withstand a tug past a tight anal sphincter.  So you’re will want to take care in that respect, because the bullet will insert easily enough.  It’s the getting it out that might be a problem.”
Dixie:  “And I want to point out that the bullet itself is the only thing that is waterproof.  The hand-held controller/battery case is definitely not waterproof.”
Joy:  “The Excite-Her Silver Bullet runs on two AA batteries.  And like all the toys from this company, the first set of batteries is not included in the package.
Dixie:  “We recommend this vibe.”

Hey sex fans,

Today we have a swell, 100% pure silicone vibrator from the good people at Ophoria Toys.

Joy and Dixie do the honors.

Ophoria Bliss #5 $60.00

Joy:  “Here we have a very nice high-end vibe.  It’s your standard issue bullet shape — straight and smooth.  There are no ruffles or ridges, so to speak.”
Dixie:  “There are no twists or turns, either.  And I’m partial to at least some texture to my insertables.  Give me some bumps or ribs for goddess sake.”
Joy:  “I’m with Dixie on that.  But we both know that some gals prefer their pleasure wands to be a more conventional shape and texture.  And if you are one such gal, then you’ll love Ophoria Bliss #5 a lot.”
Dixie:  “It’s just short of 8” in length and just over an inch and a half at its thickest.”
Joy:  “The velvety smooth skin is 100% pure Japanese silicone, which is like totally top of the line.  When you buy quality like this you can be assured that it will be phthalate-free and hypoallergenic too.  So you can’t go wrong there.”
Dixie:  “The very best thing about Ophoria Bliss #5 is it has five vibration modes and it is super quiet.  And that too signifies quality to me.
Joy:  “So here I was all ready to take a bath with my new friend.  I mean who among us doesn’t love a little thrill in the tub, right?  Well, good thing I read the fine print.  Ophoria Bliss #5 is splash proof, not waterproof.  Oh ok!  That was close.”
Dixie:  “I guess that means there isn’t a watertight seal on the battery compartment.  See how it pays to read the instructions before ya take your new toys for a ride.”
Joy:  “Speaking of taking your first ride; be warned, the first set of batteries are not included in the package.  As you all know, this is a pet peeve for all the Dr Dick Review Crew.  Would it kill the manufacturers to supply the first set of batteries?  We all think that would show you really care about your customers.”
Dixie:  “That’s for damn sure!  And while we’re on this subject of batteries; a word to the Ophoria Toy people.  Folks, you don’t say what size battery is needed for your product on its box.  That’s a bit of a marketing faux pas, wouldn’t you say?  I mean, if I had to stock up on batteries for this baby when I was making the purchase; how would I know what size to buy?
Joy:  “Not including batteries is one thing, but making your customers guess the battery size needed is another thing all together.  As it turns out, the Ophoria Bliss #5 takes two double-A batteries.
Dixie:  “I did like the simple one button operation, which toggles through the 5 pulse patterns.  And pleasurable patterns they are too!  Oh and you should know that instead of having to rotate through all the patterns to get to the “off” position, like most multi-speed vibes; on the Ophoria Bliss #5 all you have to do is hold the button down to turn it off.  I like that.”
Joy:  “Like all fine silicone toys, you can only use a water-based lube with this toy.  But you know that already, huh?”
Dixie:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy:  “I sure hope the Ophoria Toy people send us some of their other products.  I would love to get my hands on one or both of their Rapture Probes.”
Dixie:  “Or how about Bliss #8, #12 or #3!  And don’t the K-Balls look yummy?  I want me some of them.”
Joy:  “And I know several boys on the Review Crew who would love to review a Beyond #3.  It says it’s for G-spot stimulation, but I’ll wager it’s just as delicious on a guy’s P-spot.”

ENJOY

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixie

Dixie:  “This is our second go around with these sorts of products.  Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets.  You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy:  “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other.  For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie:  “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better.  It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy:  “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease.  The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie:  “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs.  They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”