Jada
About 10 years ago, when I was still a sweet impressionable young thing, I briefly dated (2 times) this guy who drove this totally pimped out Hummer. I mean this thing was obscenely gauche. Besides being a outrageous monument to conspicuous consumption, it was also extremely loud and ridiculously uncomfortable. It was like riding in a tank. And I practically needed a stepladder to enter and exit the behemoth. I felt like I was getting in and out of a cartoon car.

But the guy couldn’t have been more proud of his ride. He insisted that it was the consummate babe magnet. (I don’t know either; I just chalked it up to being a guy thing.) Little did he know that when he pulled up to a club all the women would giggle and snicker. I guess none of his women “friends” thought to tell him about our inside joke — BCLD — Big Car; Little Dick!

I realize that this is a somewhat long-winded intro to a toy review, but my little reminiscence was the first thing to come to mind when I was handed the BODY HEAT Self Warming Vibe to review.

Let’s start with the presentation. One would never know from just looking at the package that the BODY HEAT was so damned expensive. It comes in a nondescript carton that covers an equally nondescript plastic clamshell. All the other high-end toys I know of come in swank gift boxes, but not the BODY HEAT. It’s packaging looks like it belongs to a toy a fraction of its cost.

Ok, so we ought not judge a book by it’s cover right? I take BODY HEAT home and take it out of the package to see what’s what. Here’s what i found — a 7” shaft sits atop a 3.5” hard plastic base. The heart of the shaft is made up of pleasure “beads” that rotate. There are three rotation programs and each can be adjusted to eight speeds. The shaft is sheathed in a 100% silicone sleeve that is lavender in color. The sleeve also has a series of very stimulating ridges and is topped off with a flattened arrowhead shaped tip; perfect for G-spot stimulation. The sheath of silicone also covers embedded heating coils and a digital stabilizer that is supposed to keep the vibrator temperature at 100 or 120 degrees F. Supposedly, the warmer temperatures make the shaft easier to insert. But that would only be true of the tip of the vibe warmed up, which it doesn’t. However, the lower 1/3 of the vibe shaft does stay warm throughout use.

The base of BODY HEAT houses the control panel and a LCD display that shows the temp, the rotation program and speed. A rechargeable lithium battery fits inside the base. But wait! Some assembly is required. Get this, you need a teeny tiny phillips-head screwdriver, the kind a jeweler would use, to install the battery. Do you have one of those lying around your house? I don’t! I thought to myself; swell, now what am I supposed to do? After calling everyone I knew to see if they had one, I finally got hold of my sweet lesbian sister-in-law. Sure enough, she had just the thing. Wouldn’t you just know it? Dykes are such lifesavers. The BODY HEAT also comes with a recharger.

If all this weren’t enough, the BODY HEAT also comes with a removable vibrating clit stimulator (with batteries) in the shape of a rabbit that is supposed to be able to double as a cock ring. This is a brilliant idea, but there’s a rub. If you use it as a cockring your partner’s unit has to be at least the same girth as the BODY HEAT vibe. My partner is…how shall I say this…not so blessed. He did try to stretch it around his penis and ball sack like he wears a regular cockring, but there wasn’t enough give in the silicone. This made it way too tight to wear. So we never were able to try out that function. Back to the drawing board on that feature!

The tricked out BODY HEAT weighs in at a very hefty 15+oz. That’s a handful and then some.

Are you getting the picture why I began with story about that pimped out Hummer? I though you would. Sometimes too much is just that; too much.

Before I continue my review I just want to say that, if I had to guess, the BODY HEAT was designed and developed by a man, or more likely, a committee of men. They may have been well intentioned men, but I’d be willing to wager that there was no female input on this at all. Only a guy would dream up something like this. The reason I say this is that I have a bunch of women friends and we all have a ton of sex toys and not one of us has ever thought to ourselves; gee, I need to get me a vibe that does everything but make supper. Or gee, my vibe is cold; I need to get one with a heater. The reason I know this is because I asked all my friends this very question after I started toying around with the BODY HEAT. And while I admit that my sampling is not of the scientific variety, I’m still willing to wager that this is accurate.

To be fair, BODY HEAT does everything it says it will and it does it very well. Like I mentioned above I love the ribbed silicone shaft. But I think I have to quibble with calling the BODY HEAT a vibrator. It doesn’t really vibrate; there’s a rotating motion in the upper 1/3 of the shaft. And like I already mentioned, the heating element only warms the lower 1/3 of the shaft. The flattened arrowhead shaped head of the BODY HEAT neither vibrates or warms. I found that a bit curious, but there you have it.

The detachable rabbit vibe is indeed an actual vibe. And I really like that I can position it anywhere on the shaft. This works for me because the last thing I want to have happen is to have the bunny ears hit me in the clit when I’m thrusting to stimulate my G-spot. That is not pleasurable; it hurts.

The heating element was nice, I guess. But the silicone sheathe is so buttery soft that it would have conformed to my body temperature anyway, as all good silicone does.

I would gladly exchange the heating function in the BODY HEAT for it to be waterproof. For those of us gals who ejaculate when we stimulate our G-spot, a waterproof insertable or vibe is much preferred. Not only is this vibe is not waterproof; it doesn’t even have a cover for the recharge port. That just invites the early demise of this very expensive toy. If you get the port wet, or worse lube gets inside of it, you’ll be SOL (shit out of luck). Come on guys, you should know that good sex is messy sex, right? It’s like you designed this totally tricked out Hummer of a vibe but forgot the windshield.

I give the BODY HEAT extra points for it being rechargeable. And the lithium battery does hold a charge even under the demanding conditions of heating and rotating the shaft.

I wanted to be more upbeat in my appraisal of this fantastically pricey item, but I just couldn’t see my way to doing that and still be honest. Sorry Pipedream Products.

Jada
What we have here is a 7-inch, hard plastic, waterproof, rechargeable, dual-speed vibe. And if California Exotic, the manufacturer of the Rechargeable Infrared Playpal, had left it at that I’d have a sturdy basic vibe that I could recommend.

Unfortunately they decided to add some kind of cockamamie infrared heating element on the tip of the massager and they messed up the whole damn thing in the process.

Not only does the heating element not noticeably warm up, but in order to place it in the tip of the vibe they had to add this rubber flange or seal so as to keep the thing waterproof. And there in lies the problem. This flange, or whatever you call it, has a completely different texture than the hard smooth plastic. So even with lube this becomes a major sticking point, both literally and figuratively. It makes it impossible to be used on delicate parts, let alone insertion. Think of it rubber patch on a slippery slide. All is well till you hit that patch; then look out! This is particularly true for use in water where lube would be ineffectual.

From the looks of the package this item is designed to appeal to a younger crowd. And perhaps younger people have yet to acquire the ability to discern between a good product and one that sucks…and not in a good way. But the Rechargeable Infrared Playpal will help them figure this out in short order. Because, despite the other laudable aspects of the vibe — waterproof, rechargeable, dual-speed — it’s not worth the twenty-some bucks you’d have to pay for it.

Sex Toys & Vibrators

Jada
Here’s a new multi function vibe from Blush Novelties. It’s the sister to Eve’s Rabbit, which my colleague, Christa reviewed back in February.

Like the Eve vibe, the Wave Rabbit is enormous! In fact, it’s so similar; it’s startling. There is a slightly different control panel and Wave Rabbit creates a wavy motion as opposed to Eve’s Rabbit, which has beads that rotate.

It is 11 inches long and clunky as all get-out. It weighs about 1.5lbs, when loaded with the four AA batteries you need to power it. Note: the batteries are not included in the package. Wave Rabbit is more vibe then I’ve ever handled before and certainly more vibe then I need.

There are 8 wave-making functions (in the shaft) and 8 vibrating speeds (in the bunny) and they work independent of one another, which totally great. I’m partial to a rabbit vibe, because clitoral stimulation is very important to me when I’m pleasuring myself. But I found Wave Rabbit completely unwieldy. It’s such a handful that it can be exhausting. I did like that it has a simple on/off switch that avoids having to cycle through the all the speed options just to turn it off.

They claim that the handle and control panel is ergonomic; I beg to differ. While it is true that the control panel is intuitive, there’s nothing ergonomic about it. Like the Eve’s Rabbit, the Wave Rabbit also has a shaft make of a translucent jelly type of material. The package claims it’s phthalate free. But that seems too good to be true; although I have no evidence to the contrary. So let’s just trust them on that.

They also claim the Wave Rabbit is waterproof. I was very doubtful about that once I saw how flimsy the seal on the battery compartment was. I was right to be doubtful. One use in my bath was all it took. The battery compartment got damp…well actually more than just damp. There was water inside. This killed the vibe in its tracks.

Sadly, I can’t recommend this vibe.

Jada:
I’m delighted to have this beautiful vibe to share with you.  It’s one of the Big Teaze elegant B-3 line called, Onyé!  I don’t know how to pronounce that, nor do I know what the word means.  But they could have called it anything and it would still be the very stylish discreet vibe it is.

Onyé has eight separate massage modes (3 speeds and 5 pulse patterns).  This little powerhouse is packed into a 4.5″ x 1.25” bullet made of gleaming black virgin ABS with a tasteful silicone band.  The non-slip grip silicone band is perfect for keeping lubed fingers from slipping.  All of this comes in sophisticated packaging including a satin-lined storage and brochure.  You can tell that a lot of thought went into this presentation.

It’s splash proof, not waterproof.  I wouldn’t use it in the bath, but it was fine in the shower.

The battery compartment is easy to open; thank you very much!  It runs on 3-AAA batteries (not included in the package).  Figuring out how the batteries are to be placed in the compartment was a bit of a puzzle till I noticed the tiny-tiny diagrams on the side of the compartment.  I really needed my reading glasses for that.

There is just the one button operation on the base of the vibe, which means you have to cycle through all of the modes to locate the sensation best suited to your mood, or to turn it off.  That might be aggravating to some, but it wasn’t an issue for me necessarily.

Onyé is not the most powerful vibe I own, but I don’t expect that in such a petite package.  It is, however, a go anywhere vibe that slips easily into my purse.  One never knows when one’s going to need a little…how should I say this; boost during the day.

This massager is not super quiet as are some of my silicone vibes.  But the hard plastic shell delivers more of the vibration then does the silicone vibes do.  Oddly enough, silicone seems to cushion the vibration.

I’m happy to recommend this beautiful toy as a gift to yourself or someone special.

Jada
The very first vibe I ever owned was a rabbit vibrator.  I got off on it in record time, every time.  But it was such a wild looking contraption I never really warmed up to it.

Aesthetically speaking, there’s something about the “rabbit” doohickey that juts out from the vibe’s shaft that I find disturbing.  Don’t get me wrong; I understand the reason it is there.  For most women, clitoral stimulation is what gets us off.  I’m guessing that the insertable shaft, which is, strangely enough, usually penis shaped, is a way we tip our hat to the male member, even though most of our vibrator use is by ourselves.  Frankly, I’ve never really understood that.  I just don’t know too many women who need a penis reminder when we’re masturbating.

This suggests to me that these designs originate in the male mind.  I wish there was a way I could substantiate this.

Ok, so from the aesthetics point of view the i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator doesn’t do a thing for me.  But I won’t detract points on that account either.  I review the toy on its merits.

Speaking of aesthetics; what I do like about this toy is its packaging.  It’s a plastic clamshell that slips inside a frosted oval plastic sheath.  It’s a very nice presentation that I find very attractive.

The i-Vibe Rabbit uses 4-AA batteries and they are not included in the package.  DISAPPOINTED!  The battery compartment is easy to use and it seals shut making the toy waterproof.  That’s a big plus in my book.

The keypad controls are pretty intuitive, although I think they should be in the reverse position.  Like I said, most women use a vibrator on themselves.  Looking down on the keypad, while using it on myself I see the controls upside down.

There are two main utilities — clitoral tickler (the rabbit) and shaft vibration (which doesn’t really vibrate, rather it rotates the beads in the shaft as well as the penis shaped head).  There are different speeds and three functions.  Frankly, I think all this is overkill.

It’s a bit noisier than I like, but with everything that’s going on with the i-Vibe Rabbit that’s not all that surprising.  Despite all the functions and speeds, this thing never really delivers the kind of vibration I want and need.  I was able to get off on it, but it wasn’t as effortless as I had hoped.

All the functions and speed variations run down the batteries very quickly, which seemed wasteful.  I would have preferred the toy do one thing really well and have the batteries last longer.  But, in the end, none of this mattered at all, because after installing the second set of batteries (brand new fresh ones, I might add) the unit simply stopped working.  That’s right, within a week of getting the blasted thing; it was in the trash.  DIASPPOINTED!  I would have been furious had I paid good money for this.

Come on, Doc Johnson, you should be able to do much better than this!

Pjur Med Clean Moist Toweletts 25 per pack               $12.95

Jada

Good to be back with the Review Crew, especially since I have the good fortune to tell you about the Pjur Med Clean products.

Like everyone else on the Review Crew, I’m very fond of the Pjur lubes I’ve tried.  I’ve never found better.  Apparently they bring the same passion for perfection and innovation to their other products too. I’m fastidious about my personal hygiene and clean up after sex.  But I also hate to ruin the intimate time after lovemaking by running off to the bathroom to tidy myself or clean my toys.  The Pjur Med Clean products allow me to take care of any mess without leaving bed.  I Love This Concept!

The moist toweletts and the handy spray are alcohol free and scent free.  They are gentle on my skin, yet thoroughly effective.

The toweletts come in a discreet little package and the spray comes in a small container; both fit neatly in my bedside drawer.  But they could easily fit in my purse.  These are the idea products to have on hand for an impromptu encounter, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do!

The towelette package contains 25 thick wipes.  They pull out easily and you can reseal the pouch after each use.  Like I said, I Love This Concept!

I highly recommend these products to all health-conscious consumers.

Did you some how miss last week’s presentation?  Not to worry!  Look for it HERE!

Chandra $49.95

Jada

This little lovely is the Chandra by Emotional Bliss.   Where last week’s offering, Femblossom, was a powerful, multi-speed handful; Chandra is a cute, discreet, single-speed vibe that you wear on your finger.  It’s so adorable and petite; at first I thought it was some kind of novelty item.  I soon discovered that the Chandra is decidedly not that.  This is a fully functional personal massager that has been shrunk down to the size of your thumb (2.75 X .75 in).  It is designed to direct stimulation directly to those yummy places on your body, like nipples, clit and labia.

When I masturbate, I use my fingers; as I assume most women do.  I’m not one for vaginal insertions when I pleasure myself.  But rather I concentrate on my clitoris.  The Chandra is absolutely perfect for this purpose.  You simply attach the massager to one of the three finger clips (each clip is a different size), and that’s it.  Since it’s rechargeable, there are no cords to fuss with.  I absolutely love it.

I can direct as much stimulation I like to the precise area I want.  The Chandra certainly can be used in conjunction with a dildo if that’s what you’re into, but it’s perfect on its own.

My husband loves the Chandra, not only what it does for me but what it does for him.  To be perfectly frank, I’m only orgasmic with clitoral stimulation.  So even in intercourse, I must stimulate myself.  Sometimes this can get tiring.  Introducing a regular sized vibe can be intrusive to the intimate moment.  But there’s nothing invasive with the Chandra.  You see, wherever my finger goes, so goes my Chandra.  I can easily move from my clit to my nipples, to my husband’s nipples and then to his scrotum, then back to my clit.  My orgasms are amazingly strong, yet effortless.  It’s like I now have a bionic finger.

The Chandra is surprisingly quiet for as powerful as it is.  You can immediately tell this is a quality vibe.  Like it’s big sister, the Femblossom, the Chandra is made of non-porous medical grade TPE plastic.  It also has the same antibacterial agent incorporated in it during the manufacturing process.

The Chandra come with:

• 3 Finger Clips
• AC Adapter
  
• Water-based lube sample
• Silicone-based lube sample
• Instruction Booklet

Like the Femblossom, cleaning the Chandra can be tricky.  All you basically need is mild soap and water, but you have to be very careful not to get water (or worse lube) in the recharging port.  Because the Chandra is so small, that can be a real challenge.  I used a piece of tape to cover the port while I cleaned it.

Oh and you’ll need to charge the vibe for 12 hours before your first use.

Again, my husband and I both wholeheartedly endorse Chandra.

ENJOY!

These products are specifically designed with a woman’s body in mind.  However, that doesn’t mean that a man can’t enjoy them, on the contrary.  But let’s let Jada of the Dr Dick Review Crew take over from here.

Femblossom $99.95

Jada

Form does indeed follow function in the two vibes I have before me.  (Each will have its own posting)  First up is Femblossom.

I had to giggle at the name.  Femblossom, what kind of name is Femblossom?  Perhaps it’s a British term, I don’t know.  All I can say for sure is, I immediately rechristened it SATISFY.  And you want to know why?  Because, in my book, name should also follow function.

Femblossom is unique, no question about it.  It is a hand-held massager, but it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever seen.   It is constructed of a hard plastic with non-slip surfaces on the control pad and on its underside.  I really liked the non-slip feature on the control pad.  The same on the underside of the vibe, however, made gliding it along delicate skin difficult without the use of lube.  Luckily, the package included samples of water-based lube and silicon-based lube.  Both can be used on this toy.  By the way, that’s a very thoughtful addition, Emotional Bliss; thank you and good marketing!

The stylized shell shape of this vibe is a perfect fit to lie astride my vaginal mound.  The pointed tip easily slips between my vaginal lips to nuzzle my clit.  The vibe is powerful enough to create intense stimulation throughout my whole pelvic area.  I hate a wimpy vibe!

I discovered that if I prop myself up against some pillows, place Femblossom on my vulva, and close my thighs on the vibe, I’m able to send amazing sensations all over my genitals.  The harder I squeeze my thighs together the more intense the sensations.  I can even do kegel exercises this way.  And what could be  better for sexual health and wellbeing?  I found that I don’t really need to use my hands at all, except to reposition the vibe from time to time. It’s brilliant!

The Femblossom also warms up with use; not so much so that you’ll feel uncomfortable or have a sense that the unit is over heating.  I was trying to concentrate on the warming sensation, but I couldn’t really discern if the warmth of the Femblossom was due to the heating element or my own body temperature.  What can I say; I’m hot blooded!  But then again, I wasn’t using the vibe on high speed.

After using Femblossom on my own several times and liking it a whole lot, I thought it would be nice to introduce it to partner play.  My husband took to it right away.  He’s not one for vibes that look like a penis.  I don’t suppose I can fault him for that.  And, I’m not one of those gals that get off on vibe penetration.  That’s why we like the Femblossom so much.

My husband liked how the massager fit in his hand.  The controls are very easy to manipulate, even with lubed up fingers.  Femblossom has nine distinct massage modes.  I think that’s the greatest variety of pulsation I’ve ever seen in a vibe.

During our play together, my husband also used the vibe on himself.  He placed the Femblossom tip on his perineum and cupped his testicles in the shell form.  The handle reached up and touched the root of his penis.  He was surprised by the intensity of the sensations and he really liked the warming sensations. He was running it on high speed.  This thing has a very powerful motor.  And the hard plastic material seems to conduct the vibrations more effectively than do my silicone vibes.

Femblossom is rechargeable, which is really great.  It’ll run for 60 to 90 minutes, depending on the speed you’re running it, before it needs recharging.  The universal charger is included in the package.  It also comes with a beautifully designed and very informative instructional booklet.

The cleaning instructions included in the package state that one ought only use a mild soap and water to clean Femblossom.  Here’s a tip:  you must be very careful not to get water (or worse lube) in the recharging socket.  Frankly, that is a real concern to me in terms of use as well as cleanup.  Let’s face it; sex play can be messy.  If one is concentrating on not getting lube all over the vibe that could easily ruin the mood.  Too bad the vibe doesn’t come with a cover for the recharging port.

The instructions also state that there is an antibacterial agent incorporated in the manufacturing process.  They are the first to use silver ion technology for antibacterial purposes.  Ok, I like the sound of that.  But is that enough to put my mind at ease about sharing my toy?  Maybe we’ll be hearing more from Emotional Bliss about this in the future.

In the meantime, my husband and I both wholeheartedly endorse Femblossom.

One final word, I encourage you to shop at the Emotional Bliss online store for this product.  Searching the web I discovered, to my great dismay, that some stores are charging up to $50 per unit than the price on the Emotional Blisssite.  What’s up with that?

Next week:  Emotional Bliss — Chandra

ENJOY

Jada:  “I love this new site, Dr Dick’s Set Toy Reviews; I’m so proud to be part of this effort.

I would like to introduce you to an interesting product — Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm.  It’s a creamy lotion one applies to one’s genitals, or the genitals of a partner to flavor them up and make them tingle.

I should say from the outset that I would have never considered using this product had I seen it in the store.  I would have simply passed it by.  You see, I like the way I taste and smell when I am aroused.

I used Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm first by myself.  It has an intense butter cream scent.  It has a pleasant enough taste with a hint of mint.  I licked some off my finger first before I put some around my labia.  The hint of mint comes from the menthol in the ingredients.  This, I assume, is also what adds the tingling effect.

It tastes like icing on a cake.  It’s sweet to the tongue, but it also has a bit of a chemical aftertaste.  Maybe that’s the mineral oil base; I don’t know.  What I do know for sure is that, because of the mineral oil base, this product is not compatible with latex condoms.  But I believe that Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm is geared toward masturbation and oral sex.

I only used Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm outside my vagina.  Considering the ingredients, I wasn’t comfortable using it inside me.  Saccharin in particular, one of the ingredients in this product, is definitely not for internal use.

I liked the tingly feeling, but I couldn’t say that it intensified my orgasm, as the Jelique website suggested it might.

My partner, Steve, liked Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm more than I did.  He’s kind of a sugar freak, so he liked the sweetness.  I found that Steve spent more time giving me oral pleasure using this product.  I liked that, a lot.  However, I preferred to orally pleasure him without Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm.  Steve did like the tingly effect on his penis though.  He liked when i masturbated him with it.

I’d recommend this product to people just starting out with oral experimentation.  It’s also a fun little thing to surprise a partner with. Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm comes in a couple other flavors besides Butter Cream Icing.  They are — Mint Chocolate Chip and Orange Dreamsicle.

Jada
Isn’t this a beauty?  It’s so shiny and sleek.  It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s not.  The Vibe-Me Massager is an 8-inch hard plastic bodied waterproof vibrator.  There’s nothing soft of squishy here.  It contains a powerful motor, yet it is very quiet.  I really appreciate that.  I hate it when toys are loud enough to wake the dead.

The Vibe-Me Massager has several features I liked very much.  Like the two other vibes that we are featuring today, mine is also waterproof.  Angie, Glenn and I agree that a waterproof vibe is so convenient to use when one is already naked…like in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration, just like the one Angie showed you.

Because the Vibe-Me Massager is non-porous, you can use any sort of personal lube you’d like with this toy.   I’m partial to silicone-based lube, so that’s what I use.  But water-based lube works equally well. The Vibe-Me Massager will stay slick either way.

Clean up is easy — mild soap and warm water works fine.  But you can sanitize more fully with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  This is a highly recommended procedure if you will be sharing your toys.

The bullet shape makes insertion effortless.  And I must say I love the metallic blue color, it’s so pretty.

Unlike my friend Glenn here, I have a preference for a less penis identifiable shape to my dildos.  So does my husband.  I’m sure I would feel the same way he does if I were a man using an insertable on a woman.  Who needs the obvious comparison between the dildo and the real thing?

And just to make it unanimous, I concur with everyone else on the battery issue.”

ENJOY!