Element P-spot Massager

Element ——  $64.99

Since I’ve started to show an interest in my ass as a reservoir of amazing sexual pleasure, I’ve become increasingly focused on finding just the right toy for my butt play.  My partner, Karen, has loads of vibrating massagers, but none of them really interest me as an insertable.  They are fine for external stimulation, but I’ve been on the lookout for something I can call my own and that I can safely stuff in my ass.

Because I’m so new to this sort of play, I have some very specific requirements for the toy of my prostate-massaging dreams.  It has to be modestly sized, manly looking, something more plug-like then just a dildo and it has to vibrate.  Is that too much to ask?

So along comes the opportunity to test drive Element, a prostate massager from one of the most The Elementtrusted names in sex toys, Tantus.  Curiously enough, I’ve seen pictures of this toy online.  And ya know what, I passed it up thinking it couldn’t possibly be the toy I was looking for.  For some reason, the photos I’ve seen of it make it look more menacing than it is.  Once I had it in my hands, however, I realized this might very well be what I’ve been searching for.

It’s not nearly as big as I imagined it would be from the pictures I saw.  It’s 100% silicone, which makes it soft and pliable.  It’s got a manly enough shape; it’s more of a plug, then it is a dildo.  And it sure enough vibrates.  So check, check, check and check!

Karen said she thought Element would be as an effective G-spot vibe as it is a P-spot vibe.  I suppose she’s right.  But for now, this baby is all mine.

I greased up Element and my near-virginal pucker with a wad of water-based lube.  (That’s the only kind of lube you can use with this, or any, silicone toy.  But you know that already, huh?)  I gingerly slipped the bulbous head into my ass.  Pretty easy going!  I stop to take some deep breaths, because Element is already working its magic.  The shaft is easy to insert too.  I’m kinda surprised.  Not that it’s particularly thick; it’s just that it’s easy. Element comes to rest with the base tight against my cheeks.  I’m lovin this big time, and I have yet to activate the vibe.

I wait a moment to let my hole adjust to its new friend.  Then I switch on the bullet vibe that is embedded in the toy’s base.  Wow, that’s nice!  It’s  not overpowering or anything, just a nice buzz.  My prostate is jumpin’ for joy though.  My dick is rock hard and drizzlin’ precum like crazy.  I jack myself to nearly cuming then let go of my cock.  I love this edge play; I can do this for a half hour easy. Element is amazingly comfortable in my ass.  I would have never guessed had I not tried it myself.

I finally pop my joy-juice all over my chest.  There’s more spunk then I usually produce.  I’m chalking that up to the prostate massage.  I love my Element!

If you’re a novice ass-diddler like me, and you think, like I thought, that this couldn’t be the ass toy you’ve been looking for; think again.  It’s only 4.5″ x 1″ for chrissake.  The bullet vibe runs on 3 watch batteries (LR44’s) and the first set is included in the package.  THANK YOU Tantus!

Because Element is 100% silicone clean up is easy with soap and water.  To sterilize, remove the bullet vibe, and drop it into a pot of boiling water for a minute or two.  Or you can just pop it in the dishwasher before you drift off for a well-deserved post-buggering nap.

Here’s a tip:  I couldn’t figure out how to remove the freakin bullet vibe.  The thing was stuck in the base of the toy like it was glued in there.  Dr Dick told me the secret of removing it.  Add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in.  Work it around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO!  The vibe pops out.

Element is not only a toy, but it’s also a means to prostate health.  Be sure to check it out.  I encourage you put one where the sun don’t shine.  You’ll thank me!

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex, DVD

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex ——  $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right?  I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen:  “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack:  “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen:  “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”DVDVIVID1277
Jack:  “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time.  I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen:  “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack:  “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review.  It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen:  “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners.  International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing.  There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack:  “It is both super arousing and very informative.  This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal.  What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end?  Bummer.”
Karen:  “That is so true!  But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted.  For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack:  “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature.  I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it.  This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
Karen:  “I like how toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up to cock penetration.  I know from my own experiences with anal sex that foreplay is essential.”
Jack:  “I was also kind of surprised that there was little mention of the increased risks of sexually transmitted diseases with anal sex.  NO CONDOMS WERE USED IN THIS MOVIE!  What’s up with that?  Maybe they didn’t want to scare people who may be considering including anal in their monogamous couple sex.  There is a safer sex mini-feature included on the DVD, but I thought there could have been more in the feature itself.”
Karen:  “There’s also a featurette on anal hygiene, which I found informative.”
Jack:  “I really got off on the hot, hot, hot girl-on-girl bonus scene.  Finally a little strap-on action!”
Karen:  “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for women considering anal sex.  Guys who are interested in exploring their bottom need to look elsewhere.”

Boy Butter H2O

Boy Butter H2O 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $16.99

Jack & Karen

Jack:  “Damn, this stuff is great!”BBLh2o
Karen:  “This is the first creamy formula water-based lube I’ve eve seen.  I didn’t even know you could make such a thing.”
Jack:  “We concur with all our fellow reviewers, Boy Butter H2O last long, never gets sticky.  We really like the pump container too.  Very convenient!”
Karen:  “This formula is perfect for use with latex condoms.  And because it is water-based, clean up is a breeze.  It won’t stain clothing or beading either.  And that’s a big plus in my book.”
Jack:  “Neither one of us experienced any negative reactions to this lube; no irritation, nothing.  And we used it for fucking, not just for jillin’ or jackin’ off.
Karen:  “Yeah, I was really surprised by this.  I’m always very careful about what I put near, on or in my pussy.  But knock on wood, I’ve had no adverse reaction at all.”
Jack:  “Kudos for great packaging and branding.  It’s fun and smart.  Funny, up until we got Boy Butter H2O to review, I had never heard of the company.  I wonder, is it a product line that is primarily marketed to gay men?
Karen:  “If it is, that would be really too bad.  Because other straight and bi folks, like us, would really enjoy Boy Butter H2O too.
Jack:  “Get some today; you won’t be sorry!

Synergy Erotic – Silicone Elite Wave

Silicone Elite Wave ——  $28.05

Jack:  “Next up is the Silicone Elite Wave.  This is a slim, stylishly designed — wavy — vibe that has 5 vibrating/pulsating functions.”
Karen:  “There’s a one-button control on the base of the vibe that turns the thing on and off as well as rotates through the pulsating functions.  I’m not a big fan of a one-button controller, but that’s just me.  The package claims the vibe is made of silicone, but one has to wonder what grade of silicone can be had for the price of this vibe?”9972-72
Jack:  “That’s true enough, but I’d rather have silicone of any grade than have something with a lot of Phthalate in it.  Wouldn’t you agree?”
Karen:  “I would agree.  And thank you for stating that.
I unscrewed the base of the vibe, installed 2 AAA batteries in the shaft (I had to use my own, because no batteries were included in the package). And switched it on.  It’s very quiet with surprisingly strong vibration for a little fella.”
Jack:  “Karen got to use it first on her own.  When we used it together, it was very effective.  Since it doesn’t have that traditional cock shape it will please more men when using it with their partner.  It’s also less obtrusive than a larger vibe.  And like Karen said, it has a nice punch to it, despite its size.”
Karen:  “My private play was wonderful.  The soft tip of the vibe was perfect for stimulating between my vaginal lips.  And it nuzzled my clit nicely too.”
Jack:  “I got to use the Silicone Elite Wave on my own too.  Since it’s waterproof, I took it in the shower with me.  I love squeezing one off in the shower, don’t you?  The vibe slipped up my ass so easily, just like when I finger myself when I’m yankin’ on my joint.  And I can tell you; even though this vibe isn’t much thicker than my finger, it does a much better job stimulating my prostate.”
Karen:  “Because we shared this toy, I’m grateful that it’s so easy to clean and disinfect.  Warm water and soap to clean, a 10% bleach solution to disinfect.”
Jack:  “I was all jazzed up about the Silicone Elite Wave, thinking I had found a mini treasure, when it was time to change out the batteries.  Apparently Karen and I ran the toy down in record time.  At any rate, I removed the base cap and discovered to my great disappointment that the batteries were stuck in the shaft.  Dislodging the batteries meant that the thin copper wires on either side of the cylinder came out with the batteries.  DISAPPOINTED!”
Karen:  “I’ll say!  We were both thinking, WTF?   As it turned out, our little vibe was a one shot wonder.  We never got it to work again after removing the first set of batteries.”

The Plasma Illuminate-Her

The Plasma Illuminate-Her Strobing Uber Balls $21.23

Jack & Karen

Karen:  “When last we had an opportunity to review some Synergy Erotic toys, we didn’t have such a good time.”
Jack:  “You can say that again!”
Karen:  “Happily, today is different.  While neither of these toys will rank among our favorites of the year they were fun novelties, for sure.”
Jack:  “First off we have The Plasma Illuminate-Her Strobing Uber Balls.  That’s a mouthful, huh?  What we have here is three hot pink plastic balls, about 3/4” in diameter attached to one another by a power cord that attaches to a pink power pack.  Got that?  Each ball contains a high-speed micro motor capable of spinning at thousands of RPM’s, which generates a high-frequency vibration.  The balls also contain a multi-color LED that flash in time with the vibration.  Can ya stand it?”
Karen:  “I know, I was like mesmerized once the The Plasma Illuminate-Her got going.  Who thought of something like this, I wonder?
Not to get ahead of myself here, I installed 3 AAA batteries in the power pack (I had to use my own, because no batteries were included in the package). The power pack has an on/off button as well as an up button and a down button.  It has 7 various speeds”
Jack:  “The balls are waterproof and are meant, I suppose, to be inserted in one’s pussy or ass.  Please note:  the power pack is not waterproof!”
Karen:  “When cranked up to the highest level the ball are in a frenetic state.  They’re buzzin’ and flashin’, like nobody’s business.  Laying the balls astride my genitals — one at my taint, one at vagina and one on my clit blew me away.  When Jack got on top of me and ground his dick on top of the balls pushing them deeper into my skin I came in a minute.”
Jack:  “The vibration felt great on my dick too.”
Karen:  “I tried the The Plasma Illuminate-Her inside me too, but that wasn’t all that terrific.  Either the balls weren’t big enough or my vaginal walls are way too padded.  The vibration just got lost.”
Jack:  “Karen’s got the deepest and most cavernous pussy I ever did see.  It’s no wonder these little balls got lost in there.”
Karen:  “Aaaa, thanks, I guess!  That was a compliment, wasn’t it?”
Jack:  “Yes, dear; a big, fat, sweet, juicy compliment, just like your pussy.”
Karen:  “I got off real good with The Plasma Illuminate-Her Strobing Uber Balls, you probably will too.”


ELISE ——  $169

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “Finally we’ve got our hands on a LELO.  We were beginning to wonder who we had to fuck to get in on the LELO action around here.”
Jack:  “Like my daddy always said, ‘Ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.’”
Karen:  “The
ELISE is way better than a pony!
This black beauty (ours is black) is made from medical grade silicone.  It’s just short of 10” long with just about 5” insertable length. It’s got a sweet curve to it and its torpedo-shaped.  I like that shape because it looks just like Jack’s thingy.”
Jack:  “Thingy?  My THINGY?  She’s such a grownup.”
Karen:  “Sorry, that didn’t come out like I hoped.  Jack’s cock is torpedo-shaped and it curves, to the left.  Is that better, honey?”
Jack:  “Yes dear, that’s better.  It’s just that I never heard you use “thingy” before.
Ok, on with our review.  The
ELISE has 5 stimulation modes and 5 speeds.  It’s super quiet.  It’s also rechargeable; so there’s no stinkin’ batteries to buy.”
Karen:  “The Scandinavian designers of the
ELISE clearly had the woman user in mind when they developed this vibe.  When I use it by myself, for G-spot stimulation, the controls are right where they should be, in the handle were I see and can reach them.  There are also two, count them, two points of vibration — one in the tip, another in the shaft.”
Jack:  “The
ELISE comes with the elegant signature LELO high-end packaging.  It’s a gift just waiting to be given.”
Karen:  “But be sure to use only water-based lube with this silicone vibe.”
Jack:  “And be careful that you don’t get any lube (or water, when you’re cleaning up) in the recharging port.”
Karen:  “That’s the only drawback I see to this Pleasure Object.  Other than that, you can be completely uninhibited with the
ELISE.  Isn’t that true, Jack?  Why not tell the good people your little secret?”
Jack:  “Ok, ok, Stop The Presses!  I have an announcement.  I broke my ass cherry with the ELISE.  There I said it.
I wasn’t actually gonna say that here, because I’m still a little, how shall I put this, sensitive about the whole anal insertion thing.  But WTF, right?

I mean I had a ball with this bugger.  I’m like totally sold on the prostate massage concept now.  But still, years of equating butt-play with gay will take awhile to dissolve.”
Karen:  “I am so proud of you for coming out like this, you little butt pirate, you!”
Jack:  “Hey now, that’s our little secret.”
Karen:  “Yeah, us and all of our readers.”
Jack :  “Like I suggested a bit ago, cleanup is easy with just some soap and water; just mind the recharger port.  If you’re gonna share this toy, like we did, be sure to thoroughly wipe it down with a lint-free towel wet with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Remember, you won’t be able to boil it or pop it in the dishwasher to sterilize.”
Karen :  “Yes, we ought to emphasize that The
ELISE isn’t waterproof.  Splash proof, yes; waterproof, no.”
Jack :  “We’re totally sold on the
ELISE.  Give it a try; you will be too.”