Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

ELBOW GREASE Hot —— $4.75

Jack Cascade*
The promotional claim reads: ELBOW GREASE Hot Cream is of the same thick consistency as the Original formula but, it heats up! The Hot formula is a mineral oil-based, warming, thick cream lubricant. It stands beside its Original brother as the oldest warming cream formula on the market today. The warming agent in our formula is menthol.

For review purposes, the long-established Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Hot.

I want to know who the hell thought it’d be a good idea to promote the sensation of burning to a throbbing cock. Some sadist, perhaps? For most men out there, the thought of heat and burning anywhere near our precious penis is enough to shut down the erector set and make us want to put the toys away. The fact that the active ingredient to create the “warming” sensation in ELBOW GREASE Hot is menthol seems to be quite the misnomer.

Whatever brilliant mind came up with this marketing mistake needs to be shot at dawn. Whatever happened to menthol being associated with sensations of fresh and, I don’t know, cool? The real benefit of ELBOW GREASE Hot has yet to be marketed. However, I’m pretty proud that I was able to find some enjoyable uses for this stuff. First off, forget about using it to jack off or to fuck with.

The real titillation comes when you apply a liberal amount, rub in, wait a couple of minutes while the menthol works its magic. Ok, ok so it does work on your dick. But the second time I used ELBOW GREASE Hot lubricant, I slathered it on my balls and perineum, then waited a bit. Within minutes, an intense tingling, COOLING sensation (some may consider this a warming sensation) had my cock harder than before. However, I kept it off my shaft. Here’s the key to using this product: don’t be afraid to experiment.

The third time I used it on my nipples as I had on my balls. It was intense and also lovely. The real pleasure of this cream is coming up with new ways to apply it. Next I want to try it along the back of my neck or maybe on the inside of my wrists. The possibilities are endless and the potential to improve your orgasm is unlimited. In the right hands, ELBOW GREASE Hot can turn sex into a whole new experience. Get some today and have some fun!

*Read about Jack’s personal journey as a single man living a year without sex HERE! He hastens to add that masturbation is allowed and encouraged.

ELBOW GREASE Light —— $4.75

[editors note: I want to say a word about the ELBOW GREASE company’s background. It was founded back in 1979, long before the onset of the AIDS crisis and thus the pressing need for condoms. So these folks were one of the pioneers of the personal lube phenomenon. Back then, gay men were more likely to use Crisco as a lubricant for their intense fuck sessions. This became a huge problem, because Crisco, if not stored properly, would go rancid in time. And when it did, you, your partner(s), your sheets and your bedroom would stink like week old french-fries. Trust me, it wasn’t pleasant. Happily, Elbow Grease Original Cream put an end to that annoying sexual faux pas when it exploded onto the market. Finally, we had an alternative to a vat of smelly vegetable shortening rotting under the bed. ELBOW GREASE is greaseless and odorless, but still thick and creamy. It revolutionized the way we had partnered sex as well as simply jerkin off. Without further ado here’s Jack.

Jack Cascade*
For review purposes, the Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Light.

I must admit that I’m not a big fan of mineral-based cream lubricants. If it’s thick and creamy, I just feel like it belongs on my face. Before you get any brilliant visual images, I’m talking about Noxzema. My mother uses it religiously on her own face. Though she swears by it, I never adopted the habit. Needless to say, the association of mom when I pop open a canister of creamy lube is dis-engorging to say the least. Furthermore, why lather on a thick cream, unless there’s a fun way to get it off. Now forget about mom and visualize that facial you were thinking about before.

I may have to start a new devotion to ELBOW GREASE Light formula. One liberal application to your cock and I bet you won’t last as long as the lubricant. Silly me, I tried this creamy stuff on a latex condom suited toy without much luck. They just don’t seem to be made for each other. And guess what? Actually they’re not. Who reads labels before taking the plunge? Not me!

Although I am not one to condone bareback sex, if you’re going to grease it up to your elbows, I’d recommend this type of lubricant for true gutter slut sex. But in my humble opinion, fornication should be like fisting, it’s always better with a glove. So keep this on the shelf for those moments alone or during your masturbatory marathons with your favorite cinematic selection in the foreground. But if you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship that doesn’t require a condom, knock yourself out! This stuff is great.

*Read about Jack’s personal journey as a single man living a year without sex HERE! He hastens to add that masturbation is allowed and encouraged.