Pjur Power Cream Personal Lubricant

Pjur Power Cream Personal Lubricant 150ml / 5.1oz            $17.95

Glenn & Hank

Glenn:  “When pigs are at play, like Hank and me; we need a stand-up lube that won’t let us down!”Hank:  “And when we’re in the thick of it, I don’t want to be fumblin’ around with a slick plastic bottle; just trying to get a grip on it so I  can squeeze a paw full of lube.  I wanna scoop my lube from a tub, damn it!”
Glenn:  “He’s such a he-man, huh?”99240_pjur_power_premium_cream
Hank:  “No, I’m serious.  A tub of lube, particularly when the consistency is more like goop then liquid, is ideal for pig play.  Since there’s nothing dainty about our play; there shouldn’t be anything dainty about our lube dispenser, if ya ask me”
Glenn:  “Truer words were never spoken.  That’s why we’re crazy over
Pjur Power Cream Personal Lubricant.  Our lube of choice has always been, Pjur Original Bodyglide.  There’s no beating their silicone-based lube.  It’s slicker than shit!”
Hank:  “That’s for sure.  Now that we’ve gotten our hands on
Power Cream, we have two Pjur products to choose from.”
Glenn:  “
Pjur Power Cream Personal Lubricant is like having two lubes in one; because it’s a combo of water-based and silicone-based lubes.  I guess that’s what gives this stuff its thick creamy consistency that really has staying power.”
Hank:  “And it lasts long too!  There’s nothing I hate worse than a lube that dries out, or worse, gets sticky.”
Glenn:  “It’s like totally safe to use with condoms too, which is perfect when we’re playing with others.”
Hank:  “I won’t use
Power Cream with our silicone toys, but we have plenty of other, non-silicone toys to stuff Glenn’s hungry hole.”
Glenn:  “If you’re a power-bottom, like me, or you just want to pretend that you are; get yourself a load of
Pjur Power Cream Personal Lubricant today.”

BO by LELO

LELO BO $79.00

Glenn & Hank

Hank:  “This is the fanciest cockring I ever did see!”
Glenn:  “Pretty damned expensive too.”
Hank:  “Yeah, but hardly the most expensive one I own.  That honor goes to my Silver Tongue Cock Ring.”
Glenn:  “Yeah, but that one doesn’t vibrate like
BO does.  And the BO is rechargeable; so you can’t beat that!”
Hank:  “LELO calls
BO a gentleman’s pleasure object.  I call it a vibrating cockring.  I mean, please!”
Glenn:  “Ya got no class, Hank!  I like the pleasure object concept; it’s so elegant.”
Hank:  “You weren’t thinking about elegant the other day when I had my cock buried up to the hilt in your bung and the
BO was shiverin’ your ass lips.”
Glenn:  “True!  I was thinking; ‘Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!’”
Hank:  “You are such a freak!”
Glenn:  “Well when it comes to my hole, you know I am.”
Hank:  “Let’s get back to the review, shall we?
BO actually has two parts — the ring itself and the vibrating attachment.  The ring is made of a soft, flexible material.  The small print on the LELO site says this material is Thermoplastic elastomers (TPE).  Will this be an issue for someone who has an allergy to rubber or latex-based products?  It beats the hell out of me.
The vibrating attachment is encased in a sturdy plastic material.  Sliding the attachment onto the ring activates the vibe.  There is no on/off switch.”
Glenn:  “I thought that part was odd.  Why there’s no on/off switch is like totally beyond me.  Because it’s not so easy sliding the vibe attachment onto, or off of the ring.  So once ya have the ring on your johnson, it’ll be thrilling the wearer till he takes it off.”
Hank:  “I tried
BO first in a little solo JO session.  I was happy to discover that the relatively modestly sized ring stretched to fit my dick.  Then I had Glenn give me some head while I was wearing BO.  That was pretty mind blowing.”
Glenn:  “My husband has got a really big one, ladies and gentleman!  And I have no gag reflex!”
Hank:  “Well, it’s big enough.  At any rate,
BO comfortably hugged my boner and delivered some great vibe action that I could feel all the way in my ass.
And guys with a smaller unit can stretch
BO over their cock and balls.  You can also position the vibe so that it’s on the top of your dick or behind your balls.  So there’s that!”
Glenn:  “And one day while I was all alone, I slipped
BO on my new glass dildo and brought myself to paradise all by myself! BO is that versatile.”
Hank:  “The motor is super quiet, not that you could hear it at all if your partner is a screamer, like Glenn.”
Glenn:  “I prefer to think of myself as expressive during sex; not a screamer.”
Hank:  “Whatever!”
Glenn:  “
BO comes with a handy-dandy plastic case that kinda looks like an oversized contact lens case.  BTW, this is how you charge BO.  It’s about as clever as clever gets.”
Hank:  “I found the plastic storage case a bitch to open at first.  But once it was opened and closed a few times it got easier.
Oh, and cleanup is easy.  Detach the vibe unit, wipe that down with a damp towel.  Make sure you don’t get moisture in the recharger hole.  The stretchy ring can be cleaned in soapy water or even in the dishwasher. ”
Glenn:  “
BO comes in a nice gift box.  It includes everything — charger and storage unit and manual.”
Hank:  “
BO also comes with a 1-year LELO warranty.”

WhackSock

Sex Fans, The Dr Dick Review Crew has something totally wacky for ya today.  It’s a WhackSock!  Say WHAT?  You heard me; a WhackSock.  It’s a sock ya wear on your cock when ya wank. How fun is that?  I guess it’s intended to keep your spooge off the furniture, don’t’ cha know.

This week’s Review Crew:

  • Glenn & Hank

WhackSock 6 pack        $9.99

Glenn:  “I got this huge smile on my face today, because I had a flashback to when I was a kid.  I started masturbating when I was 11, but nothing came out till I was almost 13.  Before I was able to ejaculate I could cum multiple time in one session.  But once I started to shoot a wad when I wanked I could only cum once per session.  Actually, I only had to wait a few minutes before I could resume my diddling.”
Hank:  “I think they call that the ‘refactory period’.  It’s part of a male’s sexual response cycle.”
Glenn:  “Yeah, I know that!  So as I was saying, before Professor Bingo over here interrupted me, I was surprised as all get out when I shot my first spunk.  I thought I had injured myself.  Since I was totally unprepared for the eruption I had to do something with the evidence ASAP.  My mother would soon round the corner and come barging into my room.”
Hank:  “Did she bust you spankin’ the monkey?”
Glenn:  “Not that time, I’m happy to say!  It took some quick thinkin on my part.  But I label_low_20rez_1_-276x350discovered that ya could hide your boy juice in a dirty sock, and your old lady wouldn’t be the wiser.”
Hank:  “Damn, you’re clever!  I’d be willing to bet the just about every guy on the planet has dropped a load into a sock at one point or another.”
Glenn:  “Yeah, it’s probably something in our DNA, huh?  So anyway, that’s why I had to laugh when Dr Dick asked us to review the
WhackSock.  My masturbation-obsessed youth came flooding back to me.”
Hank:  “I know, I used to discard the socks I busted a nut in.  I was afraid my mom would find me out.  This, of course, backfired one day when my ever-vigilant mother uncovered a tangle of crusty socks in the trash.  It didn’t take her long to put two and two together.  This precipitated the big ‘sex talk’ with mommy that make my skin crawl.  I was also marched off to confession to tell the priest about my disgusting and sinful behavior.”
Glenn:  “I’ll bet the priest got off on that, huh?”
Hank:  “Probably!  I was a strappin’ young lad of over 6’ tall with ragin’ hormones and an unruly big dick.  I was hung over 8” when I was just 15. It was so embarrassing, because I used to pop wood at the drop of a hat.  I though having a big, precum drippon’ dick was a curse.”
Glenn:  “Glad you got over that, cuz I love your one-eyed monster.  But we digress!  Let’s get whacksockback to the WhackSock. It’s a specifically designed cottony sock made for male masturbation.  At least that’s what it says on the
WhackSock site.”
Hank:  “Yep, it’s basically a tubesox; no bigger than what a young kid might wear on his feet.  But it does stretch.”
Glenn:  “And that’s where the fun began for us.  Hank and I went to a costume party last month and our costumes consisted of a
WhackSock and nothing more.  Hank’s trouser snake was the life of the party, literally and figuratively.”
Hank:  “The stretchy cotton material could barely contain my johnson, so to speak.”
Glenn:  “And it was all over when he got a boner!  I loved it.  I got to tell everyone that I am the lucky man that gets to have that hog up my ass whenever I want it.  Tell me that didn’t make me the envy of all the queens at the party.”
Hank:  “When we got home from the party, we both blissfully beat off into our
WhackSock, just like god intended.”
Glenn:  “The
WhackSock makes the perfect gag gift.  Imagine how this little number will crack up the party.  And you know for certain that there will always be at least one dude in the crowd that will want to put it on his pecker, right then and there.  Or you could get a bunch of WhackSocks and have a WhackSock party.  All attendees must wear a WhackSock and nuttin’ else.  It’ll be a freakin’ orgy in no time at all.”
Hank:  “And it feels real good goin up and down my shaft.  It’s almost like having a lubed hand.  And your
WhackSock is like totally reusable.  It’s like having a form-fitting trick towel.”
Glenn:  “Be the first one on your block to own a pair (or 6) of these.”

ENJOY

Squirmy Touch-Me

Squirmy Touch-Me, Lavender    $24.99

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Squirmy Touch-Me.

Glenn:  “Hey, ya wanna see my pink penis?”
Hank:  “Actually, it’s lavender, dude; not pink.”
Glenn:  “Oh, ok!  Hey, ya wanna see my lavender penis?”
Hank:  “Why are you always so wacky?”
Glenn:  “Ahhh, because god made me that way?  Besides, were talking about toys, aren’t we?  That call for a little levity, right?”  😉

squrmy

Hank:  “Alright then, let’s have it your way.  So Glenn, why don’t you show us your pretty new lavender penis.”
Glenn:  “Maybe I will.  Squirmy Touch-Me is 8 1/2 inch of vibrating cock.  It even looks like a cock. And when I’m buggerin’ myself, or having someone else cornholein’ me; I like the weapon of ass-destruction to look like a cock, OK?  I’m old fashioned that way.  If you don’t like your toys to look like a wang; that’s fine with me.  But I do; so there!  And check this out; Squirmy Touch-Me has a flexible shaft that bends then holds its shape.  I absolutely love it!”
Hank:  “Squirmy Touch-Me has this very interesting articulated spine so that the vibrating tip reaches your prostate (or G-spot) each and every time.  Then it does a little dance that’ll really put a smile on your face.”
Glenn:  “It has the same Ultra-Gelle skin, as the product Angie showed you earlier.  I like the feel of it in my hands, but even more so up my ass.”
Hank: “The same cleaning instructions that Angie gave you apply to the Squirmy Touch-Me, so I won’t repeat them.  But I do want to emphasize the water-based lube precaution.  You wouldn’t want to mess up this toy with a silicone-based or oil-based lube.”
Glenn:  “It’s waterproof, which I really love.  Rammin’ this baby home in the shower in the morning makes the perfect start to each and every day.  Oh, and it two speeds — yummy and even more yummier.”
Hank:  “We want to second what Angie said about the batteries.  When we’re faced with a choice of toys of equal worth; one with batteries in the package and one without; we always choose the one with batteries.  We want to support the companies who go the extra mile.”
Glenn:  “Considering the price of this puppy, it’s a great starter vibrating dildo for anyone lookin for a little Jelle fun.”

ENJOY!

Rachel’s Bed Spread

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Rachel’s Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs).

Hank:  “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling jp514_d.jpgand walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”
Glenn:  “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed.  I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”
Hank:  “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”
Glenn:  “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed
Hank:  “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening.  In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn:  “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”
Hank:  “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”
Glenn:  “And it’s reasonably priced.”
Hank:  “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits.  We did!”
Glenn:  “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”
Hank:  “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”

So there ya have it, Sex Fans.  We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas.  Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

ENJOY

Whimsy by Jildo

Whimsy $69.00

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Whimsy.

Hank:  “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”wh_020820_0.jpg
Glenn:  “I just love that name!  ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank:  “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn:  “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank:  “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning and all, do we?  Good!”
Glenn:  “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank:  “Oh, ok!  It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn:  “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank:  “You are such a dork!”
Glenn:  “You love it!”
Hank:  “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded.  Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped.  There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn:  “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank:  “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn:  “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say?  And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven.  And this thing warms to my body very fast.  It’s like totally awesome.”
Hank:  “He’s so right.  I can work this boy in to a froth of sexual frenzy with this thing.  And I like that it’s very masculine looking.  Despite it’s beauty, it doesn’t look out of place next to all of Glenn’s other insertables.”
Glenn:  “And I do have quite a collection.  At the same time, we could leave this on the coffee table as an object ‘d art for all to admire.
Hank:  “If you’re lookin’ for insertable art for your holiday giving, look no further than a stunning Jildo Dildo.”
Glenn:  “One final thing.  You absolutely have to check out their dildo lore page.  It is amazing.