Almighty by BodiSpa

The Almighty —— $169.95

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “Here’s a little known fact: I’m a massage therapist. Actually, I’ve been practicing massage and bodywork for over five years, it’s just that I haven’t identified myself as such in this venue.”Almighty2
Kevin: “I tell you this woman has the most talented hands! I have been on the receiving end of her miraculous touch for years now. I am like putty in her hands.”
Gina: “Oh, that’s so sweet! Thank you for that. I am super proud of my talent and, this might come as a surprise, I have my grandmother to thank for this gift. My mother suffered from migraine headaches and my grandmother was able to relieve most of her suffering with head and neck massages. She taught me the power of therapeutic touch.”
Kevin: “It’s amazing to think that this healing talent is locked up in all of us. Gina has been kind enough to pass on some of her techniques to me and now I can make a cuddle session on the couch a way of relieving her stress.”
Gina: “He’s awesome! But wait, we’re not here to talk about my skill set, we’re here to introduce you to a truly amazing instrument of pleasure and therapy. This giant is called Almighty. And it is aptly named too. I say giant, because this wand-type, hot/cold massager is a whopping 16.5” tall. Its ergonomically shaped head is 4” wide and it weighs in at almost 3 pounds. It’s a monster with a long, cordless handle.”
Kevin: “The Almighty is not a toy, nor is it specifically for sex. In fact, I had to check with Dr Dick about this. ‘How did you score this thing? It’s not really a sex toy, now is it?’ He assured me that the BodiSpa people knew we did sex toy reviews and they wanted to have our take on it.”
Gina: “As soon as I held the Almighty in my hands for the first time, I knew it was something special. I immediately knew that I would be able to incorporate the Almighty into my massage practice. It’s that good. Why, this vibrator is so strong that you can use it through clothing, which is wonderful, because some of my clients come to me only for a neck and shoulder massage and they don’t get undressed for it.”
Kevin: “There are so many wonderful features to the Almighty. It is made of ABS, a super durable plastic, which is phthalate free. It is beautifully designed to last. Gina mentioned earlier that it is cordless. In other words, it’s rechargeable.”almighty
Gina: “The thing that won my heart is the Almighty not only delivers two speeds of deep and penetrating vibrations, it also heats up or cools down depending on your preference. You see, there is a metal plate in the head of the massager and this is what delivers the heat and cooling. This feature further extends the therapeutic nature of the vibrations. Think about it, 104-122 degrees Fahrenheit of warmth to relieve arthritis and other joint and muscle pain. And 50-59 degrees Fahrenheit of chilling power to reduce muscle spasms and swelling. Both the vibration speed and the hot/cold intensity are regulated with easy-to-use dials in the handle.”
Kevin: “Speaking of swelling, and since this is sex toy review, the Almighty is brilliant at making my cock swell and my balls tingle, as well as making Gina’s pussy tingle and her clit engorge. So there’s that.”
Gina: “Thank you for adding that. I don’t want our readers thinking this whopper is an all work and no play massager. You know how we often talk about hot/cold sensation play using some of our glass or metal toys? Well the Almighty has that feature built in AND it vibrates. It’s the best of both worlds. And just so you know, this vibe is super-powerful. I can place the head of the Almighty on my spine, between my shoulder blades and it will deliver vibration so deep and heavy that my teeth chatter. That’s powerful!”
Kevin: “Although the Almighty isn’t waterproof, it is still easy to sanitize after each use. Simply wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with mild soap and warm water. Then wipe it down again with another lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Gina: “The Almighty gets my highest rating. Sure the $170 price tag is a lot, but consider all the fantastic features you are getting all rolled into one product. I mean you can easily spend nearly that much on a high-end vibe that is neither as powerful or as versatile.”
Kevin: “I agree! Regardless of if you are looking for therapeutic or pleasure, the Almighty will deliver. And ya know what, now that I think about it, there doesn’t need to be a dichotomy between therapeutic and pleasurable. I think Gina will agree, all pleasure is therapeutic.”
Gina: “I like the Almighty so much that I intend to nominate it for one of our Best Products of The Year awards, which the Review Crew posts at the end of every year. Nice work, BodiSpa!”

U Touch Down Silicone Vibe

U Touch Down Silicone Vibe —— $85.08

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’re back with another timely review. And like the last product we reviewed, we have another high-end silicone vibe for you today. Unlike the last product we reviewed, the U Touch Down is an insertable as opposed to a external vibe.”
Kevin: “I like insertables!”
Gina: “I know you do. I’m sure we’re going to get to that in a minute.”
Kevin: “Alright, before we tell you what we did with the U Touch Down, maybe we should describe it to you. Gina mentioned that it is made of silicone. I’ll add that it’s nonporous, nontoxic, and hypoallergenic silicone.  And the silicone covers the insertable end of the vibe, which only extends to the hard plastic handle. It’s also rechargeable. YAY! But sadly, it’s not waterproof. I can’t understand why Topco didn’t go the distance and make it waterproof. I mean, this is supposed to be a high-end vibe, right?”
Gina: “Yeah, I couldn’t get over that either. Oh well! The U Touch Down has five insertable inches with a modest 1.3″ girth. It’s designed as a G-spot massager, but works just as well as a P-spot massager. Just as long as you don’t insert it beyond the silicone head and neck. But I’ll bet you could have figured that out on your own, huh?”Touch Down
Kevin: “It’s ergonomically designed, it has a whopping 16 speeds and 9 functions of vibration and pulsation. The four button controller is in the handle. So far so good.”
Gina: “But because it’s not waterproof, it’s tricky to clean. All you can do is wipe it down with mild soap and warm water for everyday clean up. To sanitize, like before sharing this toy, wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Of course you can only use a water-based lube with the U Touch Down. A silicone-based lube would mar the finish.”
Kevin: “The shape of the U Touch Down is very familiar. It looks very much like the LELO MONA, as well as at least a dozen other such toys we’ve seen online. I really, really liked the universal charger, it’s a 110V, 220V and USB compatible magnetic charger rolled into one. Which pretty much covers all the bases, if ya ask me.”
Gina: “The control panel looks easy enough to operate, but looks, as we all know, can be very deceiving. After fully charging the unit (a red light blinks on the charger while it charges) I tried to turn it on. Nothing happened. None of the buttons lit up; it simply wouldn’t turn on. I dug out the instruction manual, but discovered it didn’t apply to this particular vibe. That was weird. The instructions kept talking about inserting batteries. FRUSTRATED!”
Kevin: “I dug around in the little charger box and found a little slip of paper that apparently was added to the packaging as an afterthought. This bit of paper diagnosed the problem. The vibe was on lock-down mode. WHAT?  Is that so it doesn’t turn on accidentally, or what? Once we figured that out we had more success operating the U Touch Down. The control panel is neither intuitive nor easy to operate, and it is just so damn finicky.”
Gina: “Ya know that paper insert Kevin just mentioned, it says you turn on the vibe by pressing the plus and minus buttons simultaneously. However, the instructions on the packaging say you press the up and down buttons simultaneously. Sheesh! As it turned out, the up and down buttons are the correct ones.”
Kevin: “The U Touch Down delivers moderate vibrations in all the speeds and modes. This suggests to me that this vibe is geared toward someone who is just starting out with vibration, or who likes a more gentle sensation. However, someone used to a more intense vibration will, I think, be disappointed. It is pretty quiet though.”
Gina: “Ya know what I liked? I thought the packaging was quite lovely and very distinctive. And it’s made up of all recyclable materials. Despite the many promising features of the U Touch Down, I was disappointed with it, so much so that I can’t bring myself to recommend it.”
Kevin: “I feel the same way. I wanted to like this vibe more—it’s attractive, nicely shaped, and rechargeable—than I was able to. I felt like Topco was really on to something here, but then they just drop the ball. And that’s too bad, especially since it is retailing for over $130 on some sites. Holy shit!”

Colibri by Ladygasm

Ladygasm Colibri —— $64.95

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Yikes! It’s already April and this is only our first review of the year. We haven’t been sloughing off. You have to believe me!”
Kevin: “It’s true, we haven’t been sloughing off. We’ve been slinging our tits in the line of duty. All our friends who know we review sex toys are insanely jealous. They think; what could be more fun? They think; all you have to do is get naked and have a ball. But reviewing sex toys is hard work, damnit!”Colibri01
Gina: “Yeah, you tell ‘em! All that nakedness! All that writhing around in orgasmic ecstasy! It’s exhausting, I tell you.”
Kevin: “So they’re not buying any of this, are they? OK then. Moving right along. What we have here is the Ladygasm Colibri. It is a delightful palmful of powerful orgasmic delivering joy.”
Gina: “It is so petite, I can cup it in my hand. I can nestle it between my forefinger and ringer with my middle finger riding on top. And it is the perfect shape for loving my entire vulva and especially my clit. The unique curved shape with it’s flexible duckbill make it ideal for massaging my breasts, nipples, and neck.”
Kevin: “I know the Colibri is ergonomically designed for female genitals, but I discovered that it works just as well on a man’s body — nipples, taint (perineum), cock and balls.”
Gina: “The Colibri is made from 100% medical-grade, nonporous, nontoxic, and hypoallergenic silicone. And it’s waterproof and rechargeable. And because it’s waterproof, it’s so very easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine, but you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize it for sharing. You can only use a water-based lube with adorable thing. A silicone-based lube would mar the finish.”
Kevin: “This mighty mite has four speeds and seven vibration modes. The control panel is a simple four-button affair. The on and off buttons also cycle through the modes and the + and – buttons adjust the speed. It’s not super quiet, but it’s not loud either. It sounds like an electric shaver.”
Gina: “If I have one quarrel with the Colibri it’s with the recharging port. It is pretty finicky. There is a small plug in the handle of the vibe. This covers the recharge port and makes the unit waterproof. All fine and good, but the plug that recharges it, that goes into the port doesn’t make a secure connection. The first time I charged the thing I didn’t realize a red light in the handle would illuminate if it was charging. So when I when to use it for the first time there was no charge. DISAPPOINTED! So I had to start over. The second time I noticed the red light. But like I said the thing is so finicky that if I adjusted the vibe even a little bit while it was charging, the light would go off indicating the connection was interrupted. But the crazy thing is the red light also goes off when the unit is fully charged. Super confusing!”colobri2
Kevin: “I discovered there’s a hands-free way to use the Colibri too. I simply pop it in my underwear positioning it so that the duckbill nuzzled my nuts and the wider part between my legs against my taint. I loved it.”
Gina: “I watched Kevin do this and I followed suit. I slipped the Colibri in my panties with the duckbill on my clit and the wider part between my labia. Delightful!”
Kevin: “The Colibri comes in very understated, but very nice black box. The packaging is completely recyclable. And it comes with its own drawstring storage pouch.”
Gina: “The Colibri’s diminutive size makes it easy to carry with you wherever you go.”
Kevin: “Yes, we love the size, shape and its power. We think you will too.”

Vitality by Leaf

Vitality —— $104.63

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “After we read Jada’s review of Bloom, Kevin and I hoped we’d have an opportunity to review one the Leaf line of vibes.”
Kevin: “Gina and I are all about GREENING our sex life. We are trying to avoid anything that isn’t healthy for us or our planet. That’s why we were so excited when we got the Vitality to review. The Leaf line is as about as GREEN as green can be.”
Gina: “I suppose some might consider Vitality a rabbit-type vibe, and in a way they’d be right. But there’s nothing traditional about its design. It is a double-headed, dual-motored vibe that resembles a new shoot of a plant in spring. It’s even the same color of spring. Vitality is a unisex vibe that can be use by either women or men. You can use it vaginally for G-spot stimulation and/or anally for prostate massage. But my favorite is as a clit vibe!”
Kevin: “I couldn’t get over the versatility of the Vitality. But that’s just the beginning. The Vitality is made from medical grade silicone, which means it’s nonporous, nontoxic, hypoallergenic, as well as latex and phthalate-free. It is odorless and tasteless too. It is smooth and silky with a matte finish. We found that we needed a few drops of lube when using the Vitality because there can be a bit of a drag without. Of course, you can only use a water-based lube with this beauty. A silicone-based lube will mar the beautiful finish of the Vitality.”
Gina: “The Vitality is also rechargeable. It takes approximately 2 hours to fully charge. The charging port is on the opposite side of the bulbous base from the control buttons. There is a light under the port that indicates it is being charged. Speaking of the controls, there is one control button for each of the ears of the vibe. The buttons lights up when you activate them and you can operate each motor independently. There are only vibration settings. No pulsing patterns. To turn the vibrations on you simply press the button and hold it down until you get to your desired level of intensity. To turn it off you only have to hit the button once.”
Kevin: “The Vitality is super quite. Which really surprised me, because it’s powerful little vibe. But my favorite feature of the Vitality is it’s waterproof. I can bugger myself in the bath and/or shower. And because of it diminutive size, it has a total length of 5.5” and an insertable length of 3.25”, as well as it’s flexibility, it makes it an ideal toy for guys just learning to stimulate their prostate. One of the ears can be inserted, while the other massages his taint (perineum).”
Gina: “The waterproof feature makes the Vitality not only a joy to use in the bath or shower, as Kevin just said, but makes it so easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine, but you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol. The Vitality is too good not to share, and sharing is no problem because it can be sanitized using a 10% bleach solution. And just to prove to ourselves that the Vitality can stand up to a good sanitizing; we even swished it around in a pot of boiling water for a couple of minutes and put it through the gentle cycle of the dishwasher.”
Kevin: “Now a word about Leaf ’s signature packaging. Everything is biodegradable. The cardboard box is made of recycled paper. The look and feel is all GREEN. The box is fastened with a magnetically closing flap. Lift the flap, to open. Inside the box you will see a black packet, which contains the instruction manual presented in several languages. Below the user’s manual is a drawstring canvas bag containing the Vitality. The bag is thick and durable, excellent for storing and safe-keeping. Under the canvas bag is the unit’s recharger. Every aspect of the presentation proclaims that the designers and developers were serious about the environment. If only more adult companies were as environmentally conscious.”
Gina: “While we most often use the Vitality for our solo play, it is also outstanding for partnered play, particularly in the bath. And when it is inserted, it’s hands-free fun.”
Kevin: “We both think that you simply can’t beat the Vitality. Except maybe by one of the other fantastic designs from the Leaf collection.”
Gina: “And for those of you out there thinking to yourself; my, the Vitality is kind of pricy. All I have to say to you is THINK ABOUT IT! This vibe all quality, it will last. And rechargeable means no extra expense for batteries. Besides we’ve seen “luxury” toys out there that are more expensive than the Vitality with fewer of the high-end features of the Vitality. Finally, we think we all should be supporting and encouraging companies who are helping us GREEN our sex life. The Leaf line is on this cutting edge. Supporting them will help change the whole industry.”

Sphere Intimate Massager by Joya

Sphere Intimate Massager —— $73.68

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We were lucky to score the last of three Joya toys sent to us for review. We eagerly read the reviews our fellow Dr Dick Review Crew members, Christa and Angie, posted — the Little Su Tulip and the Little Su Natural in anticipation of our turn at bat.”
Kevin: “What is so fascinating about these three Joya toys is that they are all so very distinct. The Little Su Tulip and the Little Su Natural are insertables. Our toy, the Sphere, is designed for external use. And more than that, it’s actually two separate vibes. It’s a kind of his/her, or his/his, or her/her sorta deal.”
Gina: “The yin-yang shaped massagers come nestled together in one sleek acrylic storage case. Each vibe offers 5 surprisingly strong discreetly quiet modes. The white half offers 5 graduating speeds while the black half offers 5 unique pulsation modes. You can use them together or one at a time. Or you can use one and your partner can use the other. You can mix and match to your heart’s delight. What a clever concept!”
Kevin: “Each side of the toy takes 2 AAA batteries. The batteries are not included in the package. So be sure you have the proper number and size of batteries on hand or you won’t be able to play with the Sphere as soon as you get it. And that would be a crying shame.”
Gina: “The yin-yang shape of the Sphere makes it very comfortable to hold. The curved shape make it ideal for massaging my breasts, neck, and it nestles very nicely against my vulva.”
Kevin: “I could say the same thing. I used my half of the Sphere on my nipples, taint (perineum), cock and balls. I saw Gina using it on her neck, so I followed her lead. Very Nice! But I think I preferred it on my nuts, but maybe that’s just a guy thing.”
Gina: “The Sphere is made from premium-grade nonporous nontoxic and hypoallergenic ABS plastic. Both pieces are waterproof, so they’re very easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine, but you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. And you can use any kind of lube you want. We’re partial to silicone-based lubes, but water-based lubes work fine too.”
Kevin: “Each side of the Sphere measures 4.85″ x 2.5′ x 1.4″. Each features an easy to find and operate button, which powers up the vibe. Continue to depress the button and it will browse through the vibration modes and speeds.”
Gina: “The battery compartment is located in the widest part of each side of the Sphere. It’s easy to open and locks securely into place making it, as I already mentioned, waterproof. I know Kevin has played with his half in the shower and I certainly played with my half in the bath. We’ve decided to make a date for some mutual bath time where we intend to reunite the Sphere for some outstanding watery partnered play.”
Kevin: “I discovered there’s a hands-free way to use the Sphere too. I kind of straddled one half of the toy while it’s perched on a cushion. I positioned it so that the pointy part hit on my taint or my asshole. This made the wider part nuzzle my nuts. I loved it.”
Gina: “I watched Kevin do this and followed suit. I rocked against my half of the toy while the pointy end was on my perineum and the wider part between my labia. YUMMY!”
Kevin: “See, you can be creative like this with the Sphere.”
Gina: “Yeah, it’s kind of like monkey see, monkey do, huh Kevin?”
Kevin: “Yes, exactly like that…only completely different. Our hats (and our pants) are off to Joya for making this distinctive and affordable couple-oriented product. We look forward to more pleasure innovation from them in the future.”

The Amy & The Chunky Rectangular Paddle

Amy — £30.00

Chunky Rectangular Paddle — £25.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We starting off 2012 with a bang. Actually, it was more like a whack than a bang, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Right now I just want to say I am a total wood convert.”
Kevin: “Ditto! Thanks to the amazing craftsmen at The Wood Wang Workshop I probably have the happiest ass in town — filled up and roughed up at the same time.”
Gina: “The Amy (an adorable butt plug) and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are our first foray into the world of wooden toys. And all I can say is; what took us so long to discover the ultimate in GREEN sex toys? They’re both hand crafted and like all handmade things they are one of a kind. No one else has exactly the same toys as us. In this age of mass produced toys, the realization that we have something unique is refreshing.”
Kevin: “I really got off on knowing that these beauties were made by British perverts. I don’t know why that thrills me so, but it does. The Amy and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are just two of the beautiful kinky toys one will find on The Wood Wang Workshop. And, for the most part, you can choose to have your toy sculpted from any one of a variety of unusual and exotic woods, each with a different color and grain. All of the woods they use are forested from sustainable sources making their products environmentally friendly. You’d have a very difficult time indeed trying to find a more socially responsible sex toy company anywhere.”
Gina: “That’s true enough! But let’s not forget the pleasure these GREEN toys deliver. Our Amy is made from a wood I had never heard of before, Goncalo Alves. It’s so pretty and petite. It’s only about 3” long and about an inch and a half wide at its widest. I’d call Amy a beginner’s size plug. Kevin has several butt plugs, some of them are much larger than this one, but he says the Amy is oh so comfortable he can wear it for hours on end.”
Kevin: “Absolutely! I love me some butt plugs. You know the difference between a plug and any other type of insertable, right? If not, let me quickly clue you in. A butt plug is shorter and has a unique shape. The insertable part is often a tapered cone shape, designed for easy insertion and that delicious filled-up feeling while it’s in place. The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum. Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?”
Gina: “While Kevin quickly snapped up the Amy, I latched on to the very handsome Chunky Rectangular Paddle. Ours is made of cherry wood. Once I felt its heft, about 6oz, and fingered the braded rawhide wrist thong I knew I’d be able to punish Kevin’s ass in style. The two holes in the paddle leave very distinctive marks on his beautiful bottom.”
Kevin: “Oh yeah! It hurts real good. Like I said; there’s nothing better than having my ass filled up and roughed up at the same time.”
Gina: “I love liberating my inner dominatrix. I’ve come so very far from my innocent Catholic schoolgirl upbringing it sometimes surprises me. Kevin corrupted me and I’m ever so grateful.”
Kevin: “It is a real trip seeing Gina come into her own sexually and in power play. However, as much as I would like to take credit for corrupting her, the truth is she was ripe for picking, even when we first met. She’s taken to kink like she was raised that way.”
Gina: “Ok, I confess; I really get off on this. There was never any coercion involved. Kevin simply had to suggest a little perversion and I was totally up for it. Maybe it’s true what they say; kinksters are born not made.”
Kevin: “The Amy and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are easy to care for. In fact, The Wood Wang Workshop artisans thoughtfully include a card with care instructions. Oh, and the Amy comes in a black satin drawstring pouch to keep it clean and safe between uses.”
Gina: “We are totally sold on these beautiful products and the company who makes them. These are quality handmade products at a very reasonable price. I also want to add that their website is a little tricky. You can peruse all their products by category — paddles, whips, dildos, etc. But to purchase the toy you want you must click on the SHOP tab and scroll through the inventory till you find what you are looking for.”
Kevin: “Note to The Wood Wang Workshop: we will gladly review any of your stuff anytime. Thanks for making distinctive and affordable GREEN products.”
Gina: “We highly suggest that you visit their website and patronize these wonderful craftsmen. Your support will send a strong message; you care about quality, you care about the environment and you care about pleasure.”