Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Hello again. This review is basically a continuation of the Ultra Harness 2000 review we just posted. We decided to review these products together because, well they belong together.”
Kevin: “In the Ultra Harness 2000 review we mentioned that there are a number of different attachments and accessories that you can buy for your harness. Well, the Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic is one such attachment.”
Gina: “This is one gigantic dong, folks! It’s actually scary in its realistic appearance. It even has faux pubic hair. I know, WTF? And this isn’t even the biggest model they make, but I digress.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right; when I pulled this thing out of the box, I went ‘DAMN!’ It’s made of a soft, lifelike material that makes the Kong Realistic look so realistic. But as we learned in the previous review; that comes at a price. The off gas that you smell when you first open the box tells us the materials used in this toy are toxic to some degree. We also suspect that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. This is not necessarily a problem, just so long as you don’t use the thing internally without a condom.”
Gina: “That’s right; use a condom when you play with this thing. Not just for health concerns, but for clean up too. The Kong Realistic is made of a very porous material and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. And you can only use a water-based lube with it.”
Kevin: “So ok, this time around Gina used the harness. The Ultra Harness 2000 we have is designed for a man but she says it fits her too. Attaching the Kong Realistic is easy with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology, which uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness.”
Gina: “The Kong Realistic is so massive I could hardly believe my eyes when I looked at myself in the mirror. No wonder guys with huge dicks think they rule the world.”
Kevin: “I looked at the dong warily too. This would be the biggest thing I’ve had in my ass to date. Would I even be able to do it? I warmed up my ass with a decent sized plug. And when I thought I was ready, I gave Gina the green light. She slipped on a condom and looked at me with an evil gaze.”
Gina: “Ok, are you gonna tell them, or am I?”
Kevin: “Gina’s referring to the qualms I had about the realistic look of the Kong Realistic. I don’t know why this became an issue with me, but it did. I’ve been into my ass for years now. I love butt plugs and I love it when Gina straps one on and pegs me. But in the past all this ass play has been with toys that didn’t look so realistic.”
Gina: “I noticed Kevin’s hesitation and asked him what was wrong. At first I thought it was the size of the Kong Realistic. I realized only after he told me that it was the realistic look of the thing that troubled him.”
Kevin: “I’ll admit, I had a moment of gay panic; so sue me!”
Gina: “We laughed about it afterward, but I certainly appreciate what he was going through. Guys are so funny that way.”
Kevin: “Anyway, once I processed the whole gay thing — it isn’t the shape and size of what ya put up your ass that makes a person gay, it left my mind. Actually, it was a great tada moment. I then thoroughly enjoyed the mighty Kong Realistic in my hole. And I gotta tell you, Gina has become quite the cocksmith; she really knows how to throw a fuck.”
Gina: “Yeah, I want a real dick in my next life.”
Kevin: “Even though I could barely walk after that ass-ult, I did the cleanup. I wiped down the harness and washed the Kong Realistic in warm soapy water, rinsed it thoroughly and left it to air dry. I dusted it with cornstarch and stored it in a plastic bag to keep it from getting all tacky or linty, as this realistic squishy material will do.

Sex Toys & Vibrators

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “We have the hot set up for you! This here is the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men. And I haven’t had so much fun in ages. I know you’ve all heard about strap-ons for women, right? Well this is a strap-on for men. I kid you not!”
Gina: “So you’re probably wondering, why would a guy need a strap-on when he already has his ‘tool’ dangling between his legs. Ever hear of erectile dysfunction? Or say a guy wants to please his partner with a little, or a lot more than what nature gave him. Or say there’s some hot double penetration play in the offing, but only one partner.”
Kevin: “There ya go; took the words right out of my mouth. Actually the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men is a kit. It comes with the three-way fully adjustable all leather harness, which expands up to 44 inches in the waist; a realistic looking 7”x1.75” dildo; and an adjustable or detachable butt plug. They thought of everything.”
Gina: “Although this thing is designed for a man, and they have a version for women, I was able to wear the Ultra Harness 2000 too. But I think it would be cool to get the harness designed for women and decide which I liked best.”
Kevin: “The Ultra Harness 2000 come with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology that uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness. It’s brilliant, really! Plus you can buy an array of attachments and accessories.”
Gina: “Speaking of attachments; we will also be reviewing, the Kong Realistic attachment today too.”
Kevin: “I’m like totally game for new experiences and so even though I don’t have ED, and my cock is a generous size, and Gina is not into double penetration; I strapped on the Ultra Harness 2000 with the dildo that came in the package. You see the harness has a hole in it that you put your own cock and balls through and snap it closed. Then I adjusted the very hefty butt plug and sank it in my ass. This took more time than I expected, because it is considerably bigger than I am used to.”
Gina: “Once he had the whole thing arranged he called me in the room. There he stood with two raging hardons, one of which was dripping precum like crazy. It was a site to behold.”
Kevin: “You can blame the butt plug for all the precum. I was filled to the hilt, so to speak.”
Gina: “We slipped a condom on the dong and Kevin had a ball fucking me with both of his cocks. It was a riot! You should know that I won’t insert a dildo made of this soft material inside me. It’s fun to look at and play with, but I won’t insert it without a condom.”
Kevin: “A condom is a must for any dildo made of this kind of realistic feel material, because this stuff is very porous and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. Oh, and you can only use a water-based lube with this thing.”
Gina: “You should also prepare yourself for the odor that emanates from the box when first opened. It’s a sickly sweet smell that is pretty overpowering. This was another reason that I didn’t want that dong in my box. I insisted that Kevin air the thing out in the garage for a couple of days till the smell dissipated. The off gas tells me the materials used in this toy are probably toxic to some degree. I would also guess that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. So be warned!”
Kevin: “I second that! Too bad this stuff, that feels so flesh-like, has to be made of such dubious material. Once we were finished with our first play session with the Ultra Harness 2000 cleanup began. I un-strapped the harness; slowly pulled out the butt plug; and carried the whole thing to the sink. The butt plug was easier to detach than the dong. I washed them both in warm soapy water, rinsed them thoroughly and left them to air dry. I dusted the dong with cornstarch and stored it in a plastic bag to keep it from getting all tacky or linty, as this realistic squishy material will do. I pretty much decided that the butt plug was too big for me to wear longer than a short while. So if they don’t have smaller sizes available to replace this big one, I’ll just use one of my other. smaller ones next time. The butt plug doesn’t really need to be attached to the harness to provide the stimulation you look for in a plug.”
Gina: “A good time was had by all. And you can’t beat the visuals. It’s pretty amazing.”

Sex Toys & Vibrators

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “Finally I have something exclusively for me. I’m a big fan of cockrings and this V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is great. I love the way it looks and feels”
Gina: “Again, I totally agree. He looks so hot in this thing. Sometimes I make him do the housework wearing only it.”
Kevin: “She’s gonna be an amazing dominatrix one of these days.”
Gina: “Thanks honey! We aim to please.”
Kevin: “This is made of soft oiltan leather and the V-style divider firmly separates my balls while providing the pleasurable and erection enhancing effects of a cockring.
I am blessed with a pair of low hangers, so this kind of cockring is fantastic. The simple snap closure design allows me to adjust the tightness of both the ring and ball divider straps. Very cool!.
I got the black leather version, but it also come in red leather. The nickel-free hardware made for sensitive skin, is only available in black. I encourage you to spend the extra couple bucks. The snaps will look nicer and last longer too.
The V-style lifts my “equipment” up and out of the way of my taint and asshole.This clears the path for Gina to terrorize my ass with a butt plug or strap-on on me when she’s blowin’ me. I tell you, there’s nothing finer!
Like I mentioned, the cockring portion does help me maintain my erection allowing me to last longer when we’re fucking.”
Gina: “Did I mention that he looks smokin’ hot in this thing?”
Kevin: “Ok guys, get in on this, because the V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is the hot set up. You will not be disappointed. It’s both a stylish sexual accessory and a very helpful sex aid. And hey Spartacus Leathers thanks for all the great toys. More please!”

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “I love blindfolds! I love the wear them as much as I love playing with someone who is wearing them. Anyone who hasn’t tried a blindfold doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Gina: “I totally agree. When one sense is incapacitated the other senses are heightened. We’ve played with blindfolding one another on numerous occasions. It’s so much fun. However the Divinity White Leather Blindfold is our very first “real” blindfold. It’s made of actual leather and it has a plush blue faux fur lining. They even added three faux gems too.”
Kevin: “It’s like totally over the top girly, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Having someone blindfolded and at your mercy is just as much fun. You get to experiment with the elements of surprise and trust in your play.”
Gina: “It fits surprisingly well. It has a wide elastic headband that should fit all but the tiniest of heads and the headband is very comfortable too. That make wearing it for long periods of play time a pleasure.”
Kevin: “Yeah, the fleece lined eye pieces are absolutely wonderful and allow me to keep it over my eyes for hours without any strain at all.”
Gina: “If you’ve never played with sensory deprivation before — especially blindfolds — I highly recommend it. Divinity White Leather Blindfold is a perfect toy for either those who are just starting out or who have a great deal of experience.”
Kevin: “Totally! Get on this right away, you guys. I mean this simple addition to your sexual repertoire will enhance your sex play. And it’s relatively inexpensive too. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover that you have a kinky streak.”

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh it’s been a while since our last review. Great to be back.”
Kevin: “Yeah, and finally some kinky toys, ya’ll.”
Gina: “I was just rereading the first review I did with Kevin way back in August 2008. I can’t get over how much I’ve changed since then. For one thing, I’ve discovered I have a real kinky side to me. I can thank all those years of Catholic school for that.”
Kevin: “You can say that again. Gina is maturing into a real pervert. I love it!”
Gina: “I’m discovering that I have a preference for the Dom role, but I can also switch for some sub action.”
Kevin: “When I began introducing Gina to BDSM we played with household items — clothespins, scarves, belts, rubber bands and hairbrushes!”
Gina: “But now we have some real stuff. Case in point; our very own set of Nipple Clamps with Vibrator.”
Kevin: “The nipple tweezer clamps part rocks. However, I was completely under whelmed by the vibe part. It had way more of a tickling sensation than a vibration sensation. I felt it actually detracted from the play instead of enhancing it.”
Gina: “I liked this set up more than Kevin did. The adjustable clamps are very nice. Having them being on an 18″ link chain adds to the possibilities. But Kevin is right, not too much zoom in the vibe, but it is very quiet. I think the design would improve if the vibe was a bit heavier and it had more kick to it.”
Kevin: “There was this great unintentional treat though. When I was wearing the clamps I inadvertently dragged the bullet along Gina’s body while I was on top of her. She clearly got more pleasure from the vibe in this way than I did.”
Gina: “Yeah, that was fun! So then we got the brainstorm to disconnect the vibe that came with the set and we attached a more powerful and heavier vibe that we had handy. We had to gerryrig it, but it worked fine.”
Kevin: “Ok, so we both agree that this is a dynamite concept. We just think that the vibe thing needs some tweaking.”

Gina
My last review of the year is, sadly, a bust.  Can’t win them all, I guess.

Here is a classic example of how a toy looks so amazing in the package, only to have it let you down outside of the package.  Lucid Dream No. 14 has an amazing shape.  It has a bulbous angled head on a gooseneck body.  It’s a jelly material in a luscious tangerine color.  And it’s transparent; so you can see the sizable vibe in the head.  I was confident this was going to be a brilliant G-spot vibe for sure.

Taking it out of the minimal, but stylish package produced the first concern I had.  It emanated a very unpleasant chemical smell.  This off-gas was really off-putting.  And the smell got on my hands just from taking it out of the package.  ICK!

I quickly washed the Lucid Dream and my hands with soap and water.  I had immediate misgivings about using this vibe on my body, but I though I’d better press on with my review.  I figured I could always slip a condom on it if I was going to have it come in contact with skin.

The next problem I encountered was battery placement. Lucid Dream calls for 2 AA-batteries, which are not included in the package.  That was a bummer, but I got over it.  Figuring out how the batteries fit into the battery compartment was a puzzle.  Nothing I saw on the vibe itself showed the battery placement technique.  There were no instructions in the package either.  I swear I tried the batteries every which way and thought; maybe this was a defective toy.  Then as I was opening the battery compartment to switch out the batteries one last time; the thing sprang to life.

Apparently, you have to close the battery compartment just so; any deviation from that, even tightening the cap a tiny little bit rendered the toy useless.  The batteries weren’t making contact with the terminals correctly.

A dial in the vibe’s base activates the multi-speed vibrator in the head of Lucid Dream.  This is one of those rheostat things.  Not a bad concept when executed correctly.  Again, unfortunately, this is not one of those times.  The dial is way to lose for it to be effective.  In order for this to work, there should be some resistance in the dial as one moves it up or down.  This dial had no such resistance.

I have to admit, the vibe was quiet, but it also wasn’t very powerful, even on the highest speed.  After all the trouble I had this Lucid Dream I didn’t even bother to try and pleasure myself with it.  You know, life is just too short for a bad vibe.

I think that Doc Johnson was on to something here, design wise anyhow.  But it simply didn’t work out as planned.  Bad Luck!

At any rate, HAPPY HOLIDAYS from both me and Kevin.  We’re both looking forward to a bang-up year of new products in 2010!

Gina & Kevin
Kevin:  “Smartballs Teneo are Fun Factory’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You know what those are, right?  They are insertable balls that were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). But since men have PC muscles too, I wanted to join in the fun.  In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these babies while they are inserted vaginally or, in my case, anally.”
Gina:  “Smartballs are discreet.  And as Kevin suggests, they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Kevin:  “Remember, the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.  And this is true for both women and men.”
Gina:  “You simply insert the Smartballs Teneo UNO into your vagina.
Kevin:  “Or the Smartballs Teneo DUO into your ass. Or the other way around.”
Gina:  “Each Smartball unit has a finger groove for easy insertion and a tether that makes for easy removal.  You’ll want to use some lube when inserting.  And since these products are made of silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with them.”
Kevin:  “Here’s the special part.  Each Smartball has an inner ball that creates the a sweetest vibration sensation.”
Gina:  “They aren’t as heavy a ball as I am used to, but they are comfortable to wear.  And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  Take them dancing, to the grocery or for a walk in the park.  Every movement gives you pleasure while strengthening your PC muscles.”
Kevin:  “They are extremely durable and easy to clean. You can sterilize them in boiling water or pop ‘em in the dishwasher, which makes the Smartballs Teneo shareable. You can also wipe them down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Or just use soap and warm water for a quick cleanup.”
Gina:  “I like to masturbate with the Smartballs.  My orgasms are more intense, because my vaginal muscles contract around the vibrating balls.  Regular use can also help prevent stress incontinence.”
Kevin:  “And I like to squeeze one off with a ball or two in my ass.  They provide very pleasant prostate stimulation.  And ya never have to change batteries or wait for a recharge.”
Gina:  “We though Smartballs were a bit pricy.  I know LELO makes a set of similar balls using silicone for about the same price as the DUO set.”
Kevin:  “And you may need a few days to get used to these puppies, but once you do; you’ll love them.”
Gina:  “These make ideal gifts for a new mother or a menopausal woman.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, but just because these are designed for a woman, doesn’t mean a man can’t enjoy them.  Take it from me; consider these as ideal gifts for the all the butt pirates on your list too.”

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaft are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

Gina & Kevin

Gina:  “We’ve both been wanting to try a warming lube, so I’m glad we were chosen for Boy Butter Warming .”
Kevin:  “I like the pump container.  It’s easy to use and there’s not the mess that often comes with traditional containers.”
Gina:  “This stuff really works!  With just the first application I could feel the warming sensations.  At first, I thought it was going to get too intense for me, but it didn’t.”
Kevin:  “It’s a coconut-oil based lube so it’s not compatible with latex condoms.  That’s not an issue for us, but I did want to mention that in my review.  Also, this is the first creamy lube we’ve used.  I was impressed with its lasting power.”
Gina:  “I must confess; I had my misgivings at first.  I have very sensitive skin and I often have adverse reactions to new lubes.  I checked the label on Boy Butter Warming and secretly thought to myself, I can’t even pronounce half of the ingredients.  This doesn’t bode well for me using it.  At least, that’s what I thought.  Curiously enough, I experienced no irritation or discomfort.  So yeah for that!”
Kevin:  “We love our silicone lubes, but they are a bitch to clean up and they stain clothing.  This product however, despite containing silicone and being oil-based, cleaned up in a snap.  In fact, it cleaned up like a water-based lube.”
Gina:  “If you are looking for a little something that will spice up your sex life, this might be just the thing to try.  We both recommend Boy Butter Warming .
Kevin:  “Oh, and we love the name, Boy Butter.  How fun is that?”

Kevin & Gina

Gina:  “We kicked off the LELO reviews with our review of GIGI.”
Kevin:  “So there’s some beautiful symmetry to us being part of the concluding reviews.”
Gina:  “And speaking of symmetry we have the pleasure of introducing you to ELLA, another stunning pleasure object from the undisputed leader in adult products, LELO!”
Kevin:  “ELLA is not a vibrator.  It is, however, a beautifully sculpted insertable that is ideal for G-spot or P-spot stimulation.”
Gina:  “And you can use either end!  It’s like getting two toys in one.”
Kevin:  “It comes in the famous LELO high-end packaging.  It’s perfect for gift giving.  But for those of us who appreciate minimal packaging, it can sometimes feel like over kill.”
Gina:  “And because there is no vibration with this pleasure object, there’s no fussing with batteries or dubious recharge ports.  Besides, I like the fact that I can be the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “It’s made of 100% seamless silicone.  It is soft and velvety and beautiful to the touch.  It’s approximately 7.25 inches long and 1.5 inches across at the widest point.  Like Gina mentioned, ELLA can be inserted using either end.  The curved tip is just like the GIGI.  I LOVE IT!
Gina:  “Because it is silicone, it cleans up is easy with mild soap and warm water.   You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  If you’re going to share this toy, and I really think you should, you can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the top shelf of the dishwasher.”
Kevin:  “I totally agree that you ought to share this toy.  We all have a ‘spot’ of one sort or another — G or P, that is.  Just insert the curved tip about two inches into your pussy or asshole, as the case may be, with the curve pointed towards the front of your body and rock the handle up and down.  Oh baby, oh baby!”
Gina:  “Kevin does not exaggerate.  This is what I meant when I said I like being the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “If you’re more of a dildo kinda person, the other, long tapered end of ELLA will put a smile on your face.”
Gina:  “Use it on yourself for solo play; use it on your partner for partnered play.”
Kevin:  “And it’s not just a pleasure object; it’s also a therapeutic object.  You can use this honey to do your Kegels with too.  And all of us, men and women need to do those.”
Gina:  “Of course, you can use only water-based lube with this beauty.  And when you’re finished diddling yourself and/or your partner clean it and store it in the satin pouch thoughtfully provided by the good people at LELO.”
Kevin:  “This is one of the more affordable LELO products.  Beautiful styling and superior quality for under fifty bucks.  You can’t beat that with a stick!”