Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Lucid Dream No. 14 —— $21.99

Gina
My last review of the year is, sadly, a bust.  Can’t win them all, I guess.

Here is a classic example of how a toy looks so amazing in the package, only to have it let you down outside of the package.  Lucid Dream No. 14 has an amazing shape.  It has a bulbous angled head on a gooseneck body.  It’s a jelly material in a luscious tangerine color.  And it’s transparent; so you can see the sizable vibe in the head.  I was confident this was going to be a brilliant G-spot vibe for sure.

Taking it out of the minimal, but stylish package produced the first concern I had.  It emanated a very unpleasant chemical smell.  This off-gas was really off-putting.  And the smell got on my hands just from taking it out of the package.  ICK!

I quickly washed the Lucid Dream and my hands with soap and water.  I had immediate misgivings about using this vibe on my body, but I though I’d better press on with my review.  I figured I could always slip a condom on it if I was going to have it come in contact with skin.

The next problem I encountered was battery placement. Lucid Dream calls for 2 AA-batteries, which are not included in the package.  That was a bummer, but I got over it.  Figuring out how the batteries fit into the battery compartment was a puzzle.  Nothing I saw on the vibe itself showed the battery placement technique.  There were no instructions in the package either.  I swear I tried the batteries every which way and thought; maybe this was a defective toy.  Then as I was opening the battery compartment to switch out the batteries one last time; the thing sprang to life.

Apparently, you have to close the battery compartment just so; any deviation from that, even tightening the cap a tiny little bit rendered the toy useless.  The batteries weren’t making contact with the terminals correctly.

A dial in the vibe’s base activates the multi-speed vibrator in the head of Lucid Dream.  This is one of those rheostat things.  Not a bad concept when executed correctly.  Again, unfortunately, this is not one of those times.  The dial is way to lose for it to be effective.  In order for this to work, there should be some resistance in the dial as one moves it up or down.  This dial had no such resistance.

I have to admit, the vibe was quiet, but it also wasn’t very powerful, even on the highest speed.  After all the trouble I had this Lucid Dream I didn’t even bother to try and pleasure myself with it.  You know, life is just too short for a bad vibe.

I think that Doc Johnson was on to something here, design wise anyhow.  But it simply didn’t work out as planned.  Bad Luck!

At any rate, HAPPY HOLIDAYS from both me and Kevin.  We’re both looking forward to a bang-up year of new products in 2010!

Smartballs Teneo UNO & DUO —— $34.00 & $44.00

Gina & Kevin
Kevin:  “Smartballs Teneo are Fun Factory’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You know what those are, right?  They are insertable balls that were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). But since men have PC muscles too, I wanted to join in the fun.  In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these babies while they are inserted vaginally or, in my case, anally.”
Gina:  “Smartballs are discreet.  And as Kevin suggests, they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Kevin:  “Remember, the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.  And this is true for both women and men.”
Gina:  “You simply insert the Smartballs Teneo UNO into your vagina.
Kevin:  “Or the Smartballs Teneo DUO into your ass. Or the other way around.”
Gina:  “Each Smartball unit has a finger groove for easy insertion and a tether that makes for easy removal.  You’ll want to use some lube when inserting.  And since these products are made of silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with them.”
Kevin:  “Here’s the special part.  Each Smartball has an inner ball that creates the a sweetest vibration sensation.”
Gina:  “They aren’t as heavy a ball as I am used to, but they are comfortable to wear.  And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  Take them dancing, to the grocery or for a walk in the park.  Every movement gives you pleasure while strengthening your PC muscles.”
Kevin:  “They are extremely durable and easy to clean. You can sterilize them in boiling water or pop ‘em in the dishwasher, which makes the Smartballs Teneo shareable. You can also wipe them down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Or just use soap and warm water for a quick cleanup.”
Gina:  “I like to masturbate with the Smartballs.  My orgasms are more intense, because my vaginal muscles contract around the vibrating balls.  Regular use can also help prevent stress incontinence.”
Kevin:  “And I like to squeeze one off with a ball or two in my ass.  They provide very pleasant prostate stimulation.  And ya never have to change batteries or wait for a recharge.”
Gina:  “We though Smartballs were a bit pricy.  I know LELO makes a set of similar balls using silicone for about the same price as the DUO set.”
Kevin:  “And you may need a few days to get used to these puppies, but once you do; you’ll love them.”
Gina:  “These make ideal gifts for a new mother or a menopausal woman.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, but just because these are designed for a woman, doesn’t mean a man can’t enjoy them.  Take it from me; consider these as ideal gifts for the all the butt pirates on your list too.”

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaft are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

Boy Butter Warming 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $20.99

Gina & Kevin

Gina:  “We’ve both been wanting to try a warming lube, so I’m glad we were chosen for Boy Butter Warming.”
Kevin:  “I like the pump container.  It’s easy to use and there’s not the mess that often comes with traditional containers.”
Gina:  “This stuff really works!  With just the first application I could feel the warming sensations.  At first, I thought it was going to get too intense for me, but it didn’t.”
Kevin:  “It’s a coconut-oil based lube so it’s not compatible with latex condoms.  That’s not an issue for us, but I did want to mention that in my review.  Also, this is the first creamy lube we’ve used.  I was impressed with its lasting power.”
Gina:  “I must confess; I had my misgivings at first.  I have very sensitive skin and I often have adverse reactions to new lubes.  I checked the label on Boy Butter Warming and secretly thought to myself, I can’t even pronounce half of the ingredients.  This doesn’t bode well for me using it.  At least, that’s what I thought.  Curiously enough, I experienced no irritation or discomfort.  So yeah for that!”
Kevin:  “We love our silicone lubes, but they are a bitch to clean up and they stain clothing.  This product however, despite containing silicone and being oil-based, cleaned up in a snap.  In fact, it cleaned up like a water-based lube.”
Gina:  “If you are looking for a little something that will spice up your sex life, this might be just the thing to try.  We both recommend Boy Butter Warming.
Kevin:  “Oh, and we love the name, Boy Butter.  How fun is that?”

ELLA —— $44.00

Kevin & Gina

Gina:  “We kicked off the LELO reviews with our review of GIGI.”
Kevin:  “So there’s some beautiful symmetry to us being part of the concluding reviews.”
Gina:  “And speaking of symmetry we have the pleasure of introducing you to ELLA, another stunning pleasure object from the undisputed leader in adult products, LELO!”
Kevin:  “ELLA is not a vibrator.  It is, however, a beautifully sculpted insertable that is ideal for G-spot or P-spot stimulation.”
Gina:  “And you can use either end!  It’s like getting two toys in one.”
Kevin:  “It comes in the famous LELO high-end packaging.  It’s perfect for gift giving.  But for those of us who appreciate minimal packaging, it can sometimes feel like over kill.”
Gina:  “And because there is no vibration with this pleasure object, there’s no fussing with batteries or dubious recharge ports.  Besides, I like the fact that I can be the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “It’s made of 100% seamless silicone.  It is soft and velvety and beautiful to the touch.  It’s approximately 7.25 inches long and 1.5 inches across at the widest point.  Like Gina mentioned, ELLA can be inserted using either end.  The curved tip is just like the GIGI.  I LOVE IT!
Gina:  “Because it is silicone, it cleans up is easy with mild soap and warm water.   You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  If you’re going to share this toy, and I really think you should, you can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the top shelf of the dishwasher.”
Kevin:  “I totally agree that you ought to share this toy.  We all have a ‘spot’ of one sort or another — G or P, that is.  Just insert the curved tip about two inches into your pussy or asshole, as the case may be, with the curve pointed towards the front of your body and rock the handle up and down.  Oh baby, oh baby!”
Gina:  “Kevin does not exaggerate.  This is what I meant when I said I like being the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “If you’re more of a dildo kinda person, the other, long tapered end of ELLA will put a smile on your face.”
Gina:  “Use it on yourself for solo play; use it on your partner for partnered play.”
Kevin:  “And it’s not just a pleasure object; it’s also a therapeutic object.  You can use this honey to do your Kegels with too.  And all of us, men and women need to do those.”
Gina:  “Of course, you can use only water-based lube with this beauty.  And when you’re finished diddling yourself and/or your partner clean it and store it in the satin pouch thoughtfully provided by the good people at LELO.”
Kevin:  “This is one of the more affordable LELO products.  Beautiful styling and superior quality for under fifty bucks.  You can’t beat that with a stick!”

Hey sex fans,

When they hand out the awards for outstanding design in adult products, and if the Dai-Dö No 6 isn’t at the top of the list, I will want to know why.

This puppy is nothing short of revolutionary.  And get this, Dai-Dö No 6 is just one of the amazing new designs from the good people at Big Teaze Toys.

I now turn this over to the couple that knows their Big Teaze Toys, Gina & Kevin.

Dai-Dö No 6 $58.99

Gina & Kevin

Gina:  “Dr Dick is right, Kevin and I are familiar with Big Teaze Toys.  We’ve already reviewed I Rub My Duckie and I Rub My Wormie.”
Kevin:  “We still play with our Big Teaze Toys in the bath.  They never grow old.”
Gina:  “Our previous reviews were of the playful side of Big Teaze Toys. Today we bring you their sophisticated side.  Have you ever seen anything like this before?  I hadn’t.  But I’m sure glad we lucked out and scored this review.”
Kevin:  “We’ve come to expect the unexpected from Big Teaze Toys.  Like the bath toys that are fun, functional and yet real conversation pieces, Dai-Dö No 6 is all that and more.  It has a distinctive teardrop shape that is stunningly elegant.  We have the ruby red one.  It’s fashioned from a superior grade aluminum alloy and stainless steel for a lifetime of pleasure.  This also means that Dai-Dö No 6 can be both chilled and warmed to suit your mood and add to the sensations.”
Gina:  “And pleasure you will have!  You see it weighs in at nearly 12oz, which is the secret to its hands-free pleasuring capacity.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  The bulb-shaped handle is ringed with black silicone that allows you to grip it easily, even with lubed fingers.  We used water-based lube so as not to damage the silicone band.”
Kevin:  “Dai-Dö No 6 is all about G-spot and P-spot pleasuring!  Once the teardrop end is inserted in either pussy or butt-hole the weighted handle does it’s magic.  Because of its unique shape you can even use Dai-Dö No 6 as either a butt plug or a pussy plug.”
Gina:  “And here’s the kicker; this is the most perfect implement I’ve ever used for doing Kegel exercises.  You simply can’t beat it!”
Kevin:  “Gina is right!  I can flex and tone my ass muscles as well as do my Kegels.”  It’s like weight training for my asshole…literally!”
Gina:  “The same is true for my vaginal muscles; it’s brilliant.  Don’t get us wrong; like I said a bit ago, this is a potent pleasure tool.  I elevate my pelvis on some pillows, insert Dai-Dö No 6, manually position it to make love to my G-spot, then rapidly flex my vaginal muscles to make Dai-Dö No 6 bounce.  My hands were free to roam my body from nipples to clit.”
Kevin:  “I did the same thing only through the backdoor.  I can’t get over how great the heft feels.  Just contracting my sphincter make the Dai-Dö No 6 dance.”
Gina:  “It’s the ideal toy for solo play, but it’s just as functional in couple play.”
Kevin:  “And because Dai-Dö No 6 is made of a nonporous material, it’s easily sterilized for sharing. Mild soap and water to clean; a 10% bleach solution, boiling or the dishwasher to disinfect.  Obviously it’s waterproof, but you’ve already figured that out, huh?”
Gina:  “Dai-Dö No 6 comes in chic, but not excessive packaging.  The Big Teaze Toys folks also include a sweet satin pouch for storage.  I’m in love with Dai-Dö No 6.  You will be too”
Kevin:  “Take it from me, guys (or gals even).  If you’re into training your butt for all the pleasure it can deliver, there’s no finer tool than the Dai-Dö No 6.  Get one today!

ENJOY!

Hey sex fans,

Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you.  Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan:  Simply Blown.  They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?

Each one of the toys we have is unique.  They are individually crafted and are museum quality.  Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge.  What could be finer?

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.

This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.

Gina:  “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties.  Just look at them!  I could hardly contain myself.”
Kevin:  “She gets that way sometimes.”
Gina:  “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?”
Kevin:  “Oh I’m so BUSTED!”
Gina:  “There, I told you.”
Kevin:  “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the Love Line.  She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.”
Gina:  “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.”
Kevin:  “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!”
Gina:  “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.”
Kevin:  “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.”
Gina:  “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.”
Kevin:  “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys.  I get so fuckin’ hot.  The Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic.  Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke.  This drove her wild.  And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of.  ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ”
Gina:  “He does love his dirty talk.  I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that.  It sounded so crude.  Now turns me on.  See I’m growing!”
Kevin:  “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows.  I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass.  It’s cool and my ass devours it.”
Gina:  “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him.  He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.”
Kevin:  “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation.  Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug.  It’s a dildo.  A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.”
Gina:  “I stand corrected.”
Kevin:  “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs.  Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.”
Gina:  “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves.  I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.”
Kevin:  “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?”
Gina:  “Sheesh!”
Kevin:  “On our next date with the Love Line we took our time.  We added some sensation play.  The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled.  We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other.  Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”
Gina:  “These toys are meant to shared.  Because glass is nonporous, cleaning and disinfecting is a snap.  Mild soap and water to clean; a 10% bleach solution, boiling or the dishwasher to disinfect.”
Kevin:  “On our next go at these lovelies; I got to try the big boy, the one Gina had first.  It took some time and some deep breathing but I did it.  Gina helped me relax.  And once I had the gape goin, she plugged my ass but good.”
Gina:  “He is an ass-slut, that’s for damn sure.  See I said ass!”
Kevin:  “Gina liked the petite dildo.  It was easier to hit her G-spot.”
Gina:  “I highly recommend the Love Line to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo.  You will not be disappointed.”
Kevin:  “And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Simply Blown line, you have nothing to worry about.  But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right.  Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Gina:  “Generally we are able include a retail price and a link to an online store with our reviews.  Unfortunately, we can’t do that this week. Simply Blown is so new a company that you’ll just have to contact them directly and ask for pricing.”

ENJOY

Hey sex fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been in a complete tizzy lately.  Even these hardened veterans of the adult product review trenches were totally gaga when I put out the word that I had a slew of LELO products to review.  Everyone on the crew couldn’t wait to get their grubby little hands all over these top of the line sex toys…I mean Pleasure Objects.

That’’s right, sex fans, LELO not only reinvented the sex toy; they’ve evolved it into an object of pleasure. And trust me, it’s not just semantics.  LELO products are indeed in a class of their own.

The Dr Dick Review Crew will be spending several weeks putting the LELO line through its paces.  Whatever you do, don’t miss a single installment!

Today, we feature the G-spot LELO Pleasure Object — GIGI.

Review Crew members, Gina & Kevin, do the honors

GIGI $109

Gina:  “I’ve been salivating over the LELO line for ages.  I’ve seen them online, in magazine ads and I’ve even handled a couple of them at Babeland, Seattle.  But I never expected to actually own one.”
Kevin:  “I’m totally blown away too.  These babies are stunning.”
Gina:  “I never thought I’d own a LELO because they are kinda pricey.  But after using GIGI for a few weeks I can say that they are worth every cent.  First off, they are rechargeable; so right away you save on the cost of battery replacement.  Which, to my mind, not only makes LELO price competitive, but a bargain in the long run.”
Kevin:  “GIGI is a sensual work of art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN! Anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that the Review Crew gives extra points for toys that are rechargeable.”
Gina:  “GREEN is IN, fellow consumers!”
Kevin:  “Also anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that I am like totally into my ass and prostate.  I know that GIGI is marketed exclusively as a G-spot vibe, but I’m here to tell you (and the LELO people) that GIGI is dyn-O-mite on a dude’s P-spot too.”
Gina:  “Kevin knows of what he speaks!  Over the last year or so we’ve tried numerous insertables in his butt.  Most were packaged as “women only” toys, but we didn’t care.”
Kevin:  “I think toy producers are missing a load of crossover sales opportunities because they often focus on a specific gender in advertising.  I mean Gina and I totally turned the WE-Vibe marketing concept on its head in our review (#13).”
Gina:  “GIGI is made from medical grade s ilicone, which give s it a velvety feel that is deliciously soft and warm.  It has approximately 10cm of insertable length and the G-spot (or in this P-spot) flat and slanted tip has a circumference of 10.5cm.  It takes about 2 hours to fully charge this thing.  Unlike other rechargeable toys, you’ll know it’s fully charged when the light in the handle goes from flashing to a solid light.  And a full charge will give you at least an hour and a half of amazing vibration.”
Kevin:  “The power and adjust button is in the ergonomic handle. GIGI has 5 modes of vibration with 4 speed settings.  It’s amazingly powerful for such a little thing. So you can knock yourself out in more ways than one.  It’s also super quiet.  This thing has quality written all over it.”
Gina:  “There was a time, not to long ago, that I would have been too embarrassed to watch Kevin pleasure himself.  I thought masturbation, especially if it involved him inserting something into his bum, was something he should do privately.  I can’t believe how uptight I once was.”
Kevin:  “It was a struggle to break down some of her preconceived ideas about sex in general and masturbation in particular.  But she’s totally into it now, I’m happy to report.  And we’ve learned so much about pleasuring one another from watching each other pleasure ourselves.”
Gina:  “I now absolutely love watching Kevin work his butt.  It is such a turn on for me.  He always gets the hardest erections when he’s stimulating his prostate.  And he always shoots a giant load too.  I often find myself sitting back with my own Pleasure Object and trying to keep pace with Kevin.”
Kevin:  “If the truth be know, Gina has, on several occasions, jumped on my raging boner when I’m fuckin my ass with a dildo.  I think it’s great that she feels free to take control.”
Gina:  “It’s true, I can often barely contain myself.”
Kevin:  “My first time with GIGI was fantastic.  I lubed it up.  (Water based lube only with a fine silicone toy like this.)  And nuzzled the flattened and slanted head against my hole.  I worked the vibe options, getting a feel for where this baby was gonna take me.  With only a little effort on my part the uniquely shaped head disappeared in my ass and hit home directly on my prostate.  The flat slanted tip connected with my P-spot and made my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure.  It’s like it was made for this purpose.  I mean, how many guys are doing without GIGI thinking it’s only for girls?”
Gina:  “Like a butt-plug, GIGI stays in place.  When Kevin let go of the vibe to stroke his penis and stretch his scrotum, I reached over and took hold.  This startled him out of his revelry, but the gentle rocking motion I added as well as the change in pulsation made him buck and groan.  He is the most sexually expressive man I’ve ever known.”
Kevin:  “Gina pretends she’s still a shy and retiring catholic school girl when it comes to ass play, but this girl knows how to ramp thing up down there.  She denied me the orgasm I was aching for.  She forbid me to touch my cock and balls while she worked my ass with GIGI.  She took hold of my nuts and started to slap them, lightly at first, then she really let me have it.  Yanking on my sack stretched the skin on my dick shaft and made my cock stick out perpendicular to my belly.  I was lovin’ it, big time.”
Gina:  “Like I’ve mentioned before, I’ve developed into quite a little dominatrix; something I would never have discovered in myself had it not been for Kevin and his promptings.”
Kevin:  “I love it when she’s the Dom; it’s such a turn on.  I clamped down on GIGI using my PC muscles, like if I was doing my Kegel exercises. Intense vibrations filled my groin then moved up to my navel.”
Gina:  “I let go of GIGI, because I knew it would stay in place in Kevin’s butt and straddled his hips in a reverse cowgirl position.  This way I was able to continue to pull on his testicles while rubbing his penis all over my vaginal lips and clit.  I could even feel GIGI’s vibration in my pelvis. It was so hot!”
Kevin:  “I begged for release, the vibration intensity increased with Gina sitting on my lower abdomen.  I could hardly stand it.  She was rocking back and forth, my dick head barley entering her pussy.”
Gina:  “I came twice in rapid succession, then had mercy on my poor butt-boy Kevin.  I just touched the underside of his penis with one hand and sperm shot out of him like a canon.  He made this incredible animal noise and thrashed beneath me.  This brought me to climax one more time and then I slid off him.”
Kevin:  “I swear I came so hard it was time to notify the next of kin.”
Gina:  “I would have my turn with GIGI the very next day.  Basically Kevin and I changed positions.  I began to pleasure myself with the vibe; first outside my vagina, then inside.  Kevin insisted that I surrender myself to him, as he did to me.  And master that he is, he orally pleasured me while he altered the GIGI pulsations on my G-spot.  I was over the top in a matter of a couple minutes.”
Kevin:  “It’s so much fun sharing our toys.  We play really well together.”
Gina:  “Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap.  For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine.  However, if you’re gonna share your toys sterilizing is recommended.  You can swish the silicone end of GIGI in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, dry it off and then it’s ready to go. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Kevin:  “I absolutely love GIGI.  I love how LELO takes the lead in the whole industry with superior quality and stunning designs.  The only reservation I have with the whole LELO gestalt is the excessive packaging.  Don’t get me wrong; the packaging is beautiful, but there’s just so much of it.”
Gina:  “It’s true; the packaging does undercut LELO’s GREEN profile a bit. But maybe they believe that in the case of their product line and price point, luxury, including the presentation, is essential.  I mean GIGI even comes with a sweet satin carrying pouch.  They’ve thought of everything!”
Kevin:  “I concede LELO is trying to capture the high-end market, and maybe this indulgence with presentation helps make their case.  However, in the end it’s the product itself, not the packaging that’ll make a brand’s name.  And in this case LELO is without peer.
Gina:  “Undoubtedly, GIGI costs a bit more, but it is sooo worth it.”

ENJOY

Be sure to look for more LELO reviews in weeks to come.

Hey sex fans,

Today we have something extraordinary indeed.

Over the last several months The Dr Dick Review Crew has had the pleasure of reviewing several exquisite high-end insertables made from some surprising materials. Among them — Pyrex glass, medical grade silicone, wood and even aircraft-quality spun aluminum.  Besides being fun and functional; each and every one of these lovelies is also an exceptional work of art.  Today we add porcelain to that list of exceptional materials.

Goldfrau — Miss Pink $240
Gina & Kevin introduce us to the Goldfrau .

Gina:  “If I were to try to design the perfect dildo, I couldn’t do better than this Australian company has done with their signature product — Goldfrau.  It’s simply perfect and perfectly simple.  It’s delightfully sensual; it’s beautiful art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN!  I know I’m gushing, but my Goldfrau is stunning.”
Kevin:  “Gina’s right; I’m blown away too.”
Gina:  “I admit, at first I was a little skeptical. Porcelain is ceramic, of course, and all I could think of was how fragile that would make it.  I had the vision of a fine porcelain doll in mind.  I was oh so wrong.  After a little research, I discovered that stoneware ceramics, like this, are exceptionally durable and versatile.   There are ceramic knives, ceramic engines parts and the space shuttle’s exterior is made of ceramic tiles.”
Kevin:  “The ceramic used in crafting the Goldfrau will not chip, crack, or break under normal use.  And you’re gonna want to treat this baby with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a stunning work of art”
Gina:  “Check this out!  The Goldfrau comes wrapped in this handsome lined soft leather pouch that just screams elegance.  The Miss Pink Goldfrau I have is cream-colored porcelain with an intricate lavender lace pattern on it. The shaft is absolutely smooth and it’s just a tad short of 9″ long.  It has a real nice heft to it too; nearly 10 ounces.”
Kevin:  “It’s shaped like a baseball bat with a rounded handle, which makes for easy handling even when lubed.  We discovered that a little lube went a very long way.  And you can use any type of lube you want with this porcelain beauty.”
Gina:  “Here’s a really neat feature I discovered. Despite the straight shaft, the Goldfrau is perfect for G-spot stimulation.  It’s odd, because most of the other G-spot stimulators I’ve seen or used have a curve to them. The Goldfrau does not.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, I feel confident using this thing on Gina without fear of injuring her.  Those curved dildos can sometime get turned around in her pussy and when the curve is pointing opposite to the G-spot that can hurt.”
Gina:  “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Goldfrau to suit my mood.  It’s very easy to do.  You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by running hot water over it.”
Kevin:  “And it changes temperature very quickly.  So get this, one evening I blindfolded Gina and restrained her spread-eagle on the bed.  I had a bowl of ice water and a bowl of hot water next to the bed.  I teased and tormented her clit and pussy with surprises in varying temperatures.  She got so wet I had to get down on all fours and lap up all her sweet juices.  And you can use either end of the Goldfrau for wicked pleasure”
Gina:  “I have to admit, not knowing what was coming next — cold or hot drove me wild.  I was so totally turned on.  And I don’t think I ever lubricated that much in my life.  My man knows how to push my buttons.”
Kevin:  “While we were doing this hot/cold thing I made up a story about an beautiful Chinese princess who had been abducted by a cruel warlord and was being tortured into submission.  The warlord would fuck the princess wildly with an exquisite…wait for it…ancient porcelain dildo.”
Gina:  “As you can see, Kevin’s been reading too much erotica. But I did love his story.  And being blindfolded and restrained only intensified the experience.”
Kevin:  “Hey, there’s no such thing as too much erotica.”
Gina:  “You’re right, hon; you can tell me dirty stories anytime.  Just make sure the Goldfrau is near at hand.  I also want to mention that the Goldfrau, I guess because of its heft, fills me up more than it’s girth would suggest.”
Kevin:  “Ya know what?  I think the Goldfrau people should work on developing a similar porcelain toy just for us ass-centric men.  I mean a guy could use one of these on himself to great effect.  I’m just thinking something more along the lines of a hefty porcelain butt plug would totally rock.”
Gina:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Kevin:  “Guys, if you want to show your Valentine just how special she is; the Goldfrau is the idea gift.  It’s a little pricey, but you know your gal is worth it.  Besides, you’ll not find its equal anywhere else.”
Gina:  “And gals, if you buy only one new pleasure instrument this year; make sure it is a Goldfrau.  You will forever thank me for this tip; I promise.”

ENJOY

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us.  These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys.  Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names.  You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina:  “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze.  I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other!  Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”
Kevin:  “I got such a kick out of this.  And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina:  “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom.  It is always in reach.  There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe.  I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin:  “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs.  What a hoot!  Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie.  Little do they know.”
Gina:  “When Kevin and I enjoy a soak together we never forget to invite Duckie.  And you can use it several different ways.  But I think you should find that out on your own.”
Kevin:  “Batteries ARE included.  So your first rides are free!”

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin:  “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one.  That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size.  It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina:  “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot.  It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.”
Kevin:  “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!!  Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina:  “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with.  Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy.  If they only knew.
Kevin:  “All you health conscious consumers out there should know these toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free, PVC-free and latex-free.”
Gina:  “Sadly, I Rub My Wormie does not come with batteries.  What’s up with that Big Teaze Toys?  No one should be creating battery operated toys without including the fist set of batteries.  It’s just wrong.
Kevin:  “Gina and I agree these toys make ideal holiday gifts.  Just make sure if you plan to give one of these as a gift that you buy the toy with the batteries, or include the batteries as part of your gift.”
Gina:  “No one wants a toy that can’t be used right out of the package.”
Kevin:  “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from both of us.”
Gina:  “And a Happy orgasm-filled New Year too!”

ENJOY!