Ophoria Bliss #5

Ophoria Bliss #5 ——  $60.00

Joy:  “Here we have a very nice high-end vibe.  It’s your standard issue bullet shape — straight and smooth.  There are no ruffles or ridges, so to speak.”
Dixie:  “There are no twists or turns, either.  And I’m partial to at least some texture to my insertables.  Give me some bumps or ribs for goddess sake.”
Joy:  “I’m with Dixie on that.  But we both know that some gals prefer their pleasure wands to be a more conventional shape and texture.  And if you are one such gal, then you’ll love
Ophoria Bliss #5 a lot.”bliss05-img01
Dixie:  “It’s just short of 8” in length and just over an inch and a half at its thickest.”
Joy:  “The velvety smooth skin is 100% pure Japanese silicone, which is like totally top of the line.  When you buy quality like this you can be assured that it will be phthalate-free and hypoallergenic too.  So you can’t go wrong there.”
Dixie:  “The very best thing about
Ophoria Bliss #5 is it has five vibration modes and it is super quiet.  And that too signifies quality to me.
Joy:  “So here I was all ready to take a bath with my new friend.  I mean who among us doesn’t love a little thrill in the tub, right?  Well, good thing I read the fine print.
Ophoria Bliss #5 is splash proof, not waterproof.  Oh ok!  That was close.”
Dixie:  “I guess that means there isn’t a watertight seal on the battery compartment.  See how it pays to read the instructions before ya take your new toys for a ride.”
Joy:  “Speaking of taking your first ride; be warned, the first set of batteries are not included in the package.  As you all know, this is a pet peeve for all the Dr Dick Review Crew.  Would it kill the manufacturers to supply the first set of batteries?  We all think that would show you really care about your customers.”
Dixie:  “That’s for damn sure!  And while we’re on this subject of batteries; a word to the Ophoria Toy people.  Folks, you don’t say what size battery is needed for your product on its box.  That’s a bit of a marketing faux pas, wouldn’t you say?  I mean, if I had to stock up on batteries for this baby when I was making the purchase; how would I know what size to buy?
Joy:  “Not including batteries is one thing, but making your customers guess the battery size needed is another thing all together.  As it turns out, the
Ophoria Bliss #5 takes two double-A batteries.
Dixie:  “I did like the simple one button operation, which toggles through the 5 pulse patterns.  And pleasurable patterns they are too!  Oh and you should know that instead of having to rotate through all the patterns to get to the “off” position, like most multi-speed vibes; on the
Ophoria Bliss #5 all you have to do is hold the button down to turn it off.  I like that.”
Joy:  “Like all fine silicone toys, you can only use a water-based lube with this toy.  But you know that already, huh?”
Dixie:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy:  “I sure hope the Ophoria Toy people send us some of their other products.  I would love to get my hands on one or both of their Rapture Probes.”
Dixie:  “Or how about Bliss #8, #12 or #3!  And don’t the K-Balls look yummy?  I want me some of them.”
Joy:  “And I know several boys on the Review Crew who would love to review a Beyond #3.  It says it’s for G-spot stimulation, but I’ll wager it’s just as delicious on a guy’s P-spot.”

Rachel’s G–Spotter

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixiejp440.jpg

Dixie:  “This is our second go around with these sorts of products.  Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets.  You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy:  “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other.  For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie:  “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better.  It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy:  “Basically, the
G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease.  The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie:  “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs.  They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The
G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”

Rachel’s Neoprene Harness

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy:  “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie:  “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”jp229.jpg
Joy:  “I loves me my strap-ons!  I have quite a collection.  Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie:  “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy:  “It is that!  It is also reversible and machine washable.  I love that part.  I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie:  “It’s also fully adjustable.  It would have to be to fit both Joy and I.  We have such different body types.”
Joy:  “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner.  It’s inexpensive, yet practical.  You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this.  She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy:  “You go, Danna!!  Give it to him good.”
Dixie:  “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products.  We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy:  “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone.  See ya in the New Year.”

Hart by Jildos

Hey sex fans,

Holy mackerel!  It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza.

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art.  They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost.  Can you stand it?  They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Hart $69.00

Joy & Dixie introduce us to Hart.

Joy:  “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages.  I’ve admired them online and even held a few in h_020804.jpgmy hands at our local sex emporium.  But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie:  “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance.  And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy:  “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.  But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges.  I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie:  “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too.  And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming.  It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy:  “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way.  And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes.  We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”
Dixie:  “Caring for this beauty is blissfully simple. Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy:  “Then you can use the wax packet provided with Hart to restore it’s natural luster. Just rub it on and buff it off.”
Dixie:  “Your Jildo Dildo will come with a Certificate of Authenticity and a nice velvet pouch for discreet storage.”
Joy:  “Jildos has a wide array of shapes and styles to choose from.  This is the ideal holiday gift for the GREEN
consumer.”

PES Vaginal Plug

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with Part 2 in this series that will focus on the exceptional products from the pervy and oh so edgy folks at Paradise Electro Stimulations, PES.

This week the Review Crew will introduce you to some of the PES Electrodes that attach to the PES Power Box.  These are the thingies and that actually deliver the stimulation.  You’ll notice that some of these products are gender specific, others are can be used by either sex.

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Glenn & Hank
  • Gina & Kevin
  • Joy & Dixie

PES Vaginal Plug (C066)        $190.00

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the newly redesigned PES Vaginal Plug.  It directs the flow of Erotic Electro Stimulating current right inside your pussy.  You lucky Ladies!  All us pussy-less folk can only guess at the bliss we’re missing.  By the way, neither Joy nor Dixie had ever played with Erotic Electro Stimulation before.c066.jpg

Joy:  “This plug has two conductive surfaces, one on each side of the beautifully sleek acrylic shaft. We discovered that the plug works best when fully inserted in my pussy before we turned on the Power Box.“
Dixie:  “Also, be aware that shifting the plug once it’s in place will redirect the stimulation, which just makes sense, right?”

(Like we learned last week, it’s always advisable to lower power levels before shifting the position of any of the PES Electrodes. And when adjusting the levels, the higher the pulse and frequency, the more intense the stimulation.)

Joy:  “Once I inserted the plug and took a few deep breaths to relax, I slowly began to adjust the pulse and frequency knobs upward.  I began to feel involuntary muscle contractions inside my pussy.  This was a totally new sensation for me.  It was completely unlike what I experience with an insertable vibrator.  In record time I had my first orgasm.  I was like, ‘holy shit, I am in love!”
Dixie:  “It was so amazing to watch.  Joy didn’t do a thing, but lean back against a pillow and manipulate the knobs on the Power Box.  The PES Vaginal Plug did all the work.  When Joy uses one of her dildos, even one of the vibrating ones, she always has to manually pump it in and out.”
Joy:  “I can safely say that this was my very first hands-free orgasm ever.  It was completely effortless.  I could feel the electro stimulation in my clit too.  It was totally wild.  Like Dixie said, it wasn’t friction that was causing the sensations, because there was no in and out movement.  Over the next 15 or 20 minutes I had multiple orgasms.  But there was none of that ‘raw’ feeling in my pussy afterward, like I often get when I use my vibes.”
Dixie:  “I was way more nervous about using this thing than Joy.  I had to talk myself down from connecting the dots, as it were.  Here is this thing, the Power Box plugged into an outlet in the wall and wires from it were attached to the Vaginal Plug.  And that was now inside my cunt.  Good thing Joy went first, or I wouldn’t have been able to get past the whole electrocution scene playing out in my head.  Joy held my hand and I adjusted the knobs on the Power Box.  It was such an unfamiliar sensation that it took me a while to decide if I liked it or not.  I did notice that adjusting the Vaginal Plug placement and depth in my cunt stimulated different nerve paths, which produced a variety of sensations.  Once I could relax and give myself the space to experience the tingly feelings, I too had a whopper of an orgasm.  Relaxation is key, at least at first.”
Joy:  “There a round opening in the base that allows access to one’s clit for manual stimulation.  Not that I needed that necessarily. It also comes with these dainty latex straps to hold the thing in place.  Dixie like the straps more than I did.”
Dixie:  “Lubrication is a must!  I mean, that seems obvious but lube is important for more than just making insertion easier.  It also plays an essential role in the effectiveness of the electrode. We used ElectroLube; and recommend it highly.”
Joy:  “We both realize that these are very expensive toys, but boy are they worth it.”
Dixie:  “Getting past the wires was more difficult for me.  But I agree with Joy, this is amazing stuff.”

Sportsheets G-Spot Link

Sportsheets G-Spot Link $29.95

A black nylon strap with neoprene ankle cuffs that makes hitting the G-spot easier and more accurate than ever before. You can use this to tilt the hips and enter the vaginal canal or anus from a new angle making penetration deeper and more satisfying for everyone.

Joy & Dixieg-spotlink.jpg

Dixie:  “I didn’t get this at all.  And we even watched the little video on the Sportsheets site to figure out how this thing works.”
Joy:  “Maybe it’s a lesbian thing.”
Dixie:  “I mean I understand the concept.  You lie face up and wrap your legs around your partner’s back. Your partner can then reach around and fasten the cuffs to hold your legs in place.”
Joy:  “This was totally awkward for me, on top, and not comfortable for Dixie on the bottom.  The problem may be that I’m bigger around and her legs are pretty short.”
Dixie:  “Exactly.  This may work for a couple better matched in size than Joy and I.  I think this is designed for the fit and trim crowd.  Anyhow, they say the cuffs can be adjusted using one hand. We didn’t find that to be true.  And while I was on the bottom, I didn’t find this position comfortable at all.  My legs were supposed to be relaxed while wrapped around my partner.  But that didn’t happen for me.  Again the size difference between Joy and I probably accounted for this.”
Joy:  “There is another way to use the G-Spot Link, however.  And this was only slightly more successful for us. Dixie had her legs in front of her with her knees to her chest, while I put the cuffs on her ankles. I was then able to use the strap like a handle to move her legs from side-to-side.”
Dixie:  “So, OK I liked that Joy was able to swing my legs from side to side.  This really made my clit stand up and take notice, mostly because my knees were pressed so tightly against my chest.  That part was nice.”
Joy:  “But we didn’t get the whole deeper penetration thing.”
Dixie:  “This position did make for some very fine oral sex though.”
Joy:  “Yeah, I got her off several times that way.  Like I said, we just didn’t get the G-spot connection thing.  Sorry!”