Category Archives: Christa

Geisha Balls by Fun Toys

Fun Toys Geisha Balls —— $49.95

Christa
I was pretty sexually precocious as a teen. I had a crush on a girl at age 11. Started masturbating at 13. Had sex with a girl at 14. Had sex with a boy at 16. I liked it all. I guess all my early sexual experiences were so enjoyable because I always felt I was in charge of my body and my sexual expression. No one ever pressured me into anything, and, if the truth be told, I was often the one doing the pursuing and seducing. Not much has changed these many years later.

I learned about kegel exercises when I was a freshman in high school. I read about them in a woman’s magazine that my mother subscribed to. Since I had started masturbating a year earlier, I kinda understood the mechanics of it all. I set my mind to doing my kegels because, as the magazine article said, “they would increase the intensity of my orgasms.” Actually, I didn’t see how my orgasms could get any more intense than they were back then. There were times when I would nearly black out from the pleasure. I know, what a freak, right?geisha_balls_pix_7-1

Since then, I have been on a mission to turn people on to kegels. Take my butt-boy BF, Alex, for example. I was the first girlfriend to ever play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time. He is like this total ass whore. The funny thing is that, when this first began, he was all nervous, not that this ass play was gonna make him gay, but that he would get all stretched out down there and he would lose his shit…literally. But I told him to relax and introduced him to kegel exercises. Problem solved.

I got my first set of Ben Wa balls when I was in college. They were beautiful. They came in this really nice silk lined box with a dragon in it. I would insert them then go for a bike ride. Holy shit! Ya know I don’t even remember what became of that first set. I probably lent them to a friend and never got them back.

Nowadays, Ben Wa balls are all the rage because of those bullshit 50 Shades of Grey novels. And nowadays they come in a dazzling array of styles. This brings me to today’s review. Check out these Geisha Balls from Fun Toys. There are four balls in the set, not the usual two. The set includes the lightest and heaviest balls on the market. That’s cool because you can mix and match the balls you use at any one time. In fact, it allows for five-stages of training.

You can use the balls individually or as a pair. Heck, if you’re really adventurous, you can even use all four at once. I have, but then you would expect crazy shit like that from me, huh? And you can use them with or without the sling. These Geisha Balls are body safe, made of abs plastic and the sling is made of 100% soft medical silicone.

whats inside ballsSo if you are following what I’m saying, Geisha Balls assist in toning the muscles in your pelvic region, specifically your pubococcygeus muscle (or PC muscle). This is the muscle that is responsible for stopping the flow of pee. And just about every woman out there knows something about incontinence that comes from stress, or childbirth, or aging. But besides the utility, or training aspect, there is the pleasure aspect. And if you’ve never tried these things, you’re in for a surprise.

The Fun Toys people have thoughtfully included a very specific brochure in their package that spells out all the ways you can use the Geisha Balls. There’s no guesswork and even if you’ve never tried Ben Wa balls before, you won’t be intimidated when you get your set.

Geisha Balls come in a real nice gift box; perfect for gift giving to yourself or someone else. There’s even a sweet little drawstring storage pouch included in the box.

Here’s a tip; mothers, give a set of Geisha Balls to your teen daughters. That’s right, you heard me. Let’s cut the shit and stop pretending that teens aren’t interested in or experimenting with sex either by themselves or with a partner. There are plenty of girls out there who are as precocious as I was. There are even more who could use a helpful hand in trying to figure out the pleasure thing. And if you’re squeamish about promoting the pleasure aspect, focus on the therapeutic aspects. Either way, this is a gift that will keep on giving. And hey, it works the other way around too. Once I discovered how great the Geisha Balls are, I sanitized them by dropping the whole set, sling and all, into a pot of boiling water, dried them off, and passed the balls, sling, and gift box on to my mom. She was only slightly surprised; she’s learned that I can be pretty unpredictable when it comes to sex. I’ll have to replace my set soon.

And the Geisha Balls are so easy to use. I suggest a regiment of 15-30 minutes a day. And you don’t have to interrupt your day to train. Simply insert, and go about your business. You’ll be doing yourself a world of good and they’ll put a smile on your fact too.

You can kick up the action by trying to pull the balls out of vagina by the sling, while your muscles holds them inside. So simple!

And Alex wants me to remind you that Geisha Balls are not just for women and vaginas. They are great trainers for your butt too. And those of you with a prostate in your butt will discover some unique pleasure. I just want to add that you gotta to use the sling with the balls when using them anally.

Geisha Balls are fun and therapeutic. Get some today, you will not be disappointed.

SPUNK Lube Pink

SPUNK Lube Pink (8 oz) —— $14.50

Christa
Ya know what I hate? I hate being the last reviewer in a series of reviews for a product line. That’s, because when I’m last, I gotta come up with something new and clever to say; stuff that hasn’t already been said by one of my Dr Dick Review Crew pals. Case in point, today’s review of SPUNK Lube Pink.

Ya know what I really like? I really like SPUNK Lube Pink.

Does that sound bat-shit crazy to you? Well, it shouldn’t. While I will be repeating a lot of the stuff Brad said in his review of SPUNK Lube Hybrid, that doesn’t mean I like SPUNK Lube Pink any less then he liked his version of Spunk lube.

Ok, funny story before I get on with it. If you follow my reviews you will know about my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex. He is like this total ass-whore. He like totally gets off on all the stuff I bring home from Dr Dick. If, whatever I bring home even faintly looks like it’ll go up his hole, he’s on his knees, butt in the air, begging for his turn to get plugged. I swear, he can be so annoying. But, ya know what? I absolutely love punishing his ass. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much.spunkpink-main-final

Anyhow, the day I got home with the SPUNK Lube Pink, Alex was already home and on the couch smokin’ a bowl. (You know that pot is legal here in the Evergreen State, right?) So I plop down on the couch next to him and whip out the plastic squeeze bottle of SPUNK Lube Pink with it’s distinctive label and hand it to Alex. He squeezes some into the palm of his hand and stares down at it. It takes it a minute or two to register what he has in his hand. Then he turns to me and says, “This is what lady spooge would look and feel like, if ladies spooged, huh?”

He’s such a dork! But I totally get where he’s coming from. SPUNK Lube Pink is the consistency and viscosity of a guy’s nut, only it’s pink.

I wonder, do people choose lube for its color? I suppose maybe they do, or why else would the SPUNK Lube sell a pink version of their very popular SPUNK Lube Hybrid, the product Brad reviewed?

Like it’s popular cousin, SPUNK Lube Pink is a water-based/silicone-based hybrid.  It doesn’t dry out or get sticky. There is, however, a bit of an odor to it, nothing offensive, but it is there. And after getting some in my mouth…I’ll let you guess how that happened…I won’t let that again. The taste is unappealing.

The best thing about SPUNK Lube Pink is it’s glycerin free. That can’t be said about the original formula that Brad reviewed. However, this product does contain methylparaben, which can be a problem for people highly allergic to any kind of paraben. But I didn’t experience any discomfort or burning sensations when I…we used it.

SPUNK Lube Pink is also safe to use with condoms and all your favorite sex toys, even your expensive silicone toys. It feels wickedly slippery to the touch, and doesn’t loose its slipperiness with extended use.

Clean up is easy with hand soap and warm water. Despite the fact that SPUNK Lube Pink is lightly colored with a common food dye, FD & C Red 40, but not to worry. It didn’t stain sheets or towels. So yay for that.

If you’re looking for a fun alternative to a white or clear lube, one that is versatile and long-lasting SPUNK Lube Pink is worth a try.

The Hooded Nun

Hooded Nun —— $120

Christa
This review is pretty reminiscent of how I got started in this gig.

I was recruited to the Dr Dick Review Crew back in October 2008 and posted my first review then following month. Back then Dr Dick had three beautiful silicone insertables that he needed reviewed and none of the other Review Crew members would touch them. Our mutual friend, Joy, suggested I step up. I couldn’t get over it. I wrote back then: “…you’re just gonna fork over three totally bitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free. And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.”

Ever since then I’ve been the go-to gal for all the freaky stuff that comes to us for review. Enter today’s product. Here we have the stunning Hooded Nun, a glass insertable from Fucking Sculptures. Can ya stand it? And I got it because it has the word “nun” in the name. SCORE!

hooded-nun

This thing is so fuckin’ rad. Mine is black; so black it has a metallic, silver sheen to it. But it also comes in four other colors and two other sizes. So you pretty much get to customize your nun to suit yourself. Mine is the medium size, about 12” long from head to toe, which is plenty big for me. And it’s hefty as shit. Mine weighs in at nearly 2lbs. That’s not a dildo, that’s a fucking weapon!

This is my first glass toy. It looks and feels much different from the glass toys I’m used to seeing in my local sex toy emporium. The Hooded Nun is handcrafted of soda lime glass. And because all their products are handcrafted, no two are exactly alike. This is nothing short of fucking art.

The Hooded Nun is the ideal G-spot massager. And if you ask my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex, he’ll tell you it’s deadly in his ass and on his prostate. Alex is like this total ass whore. I’m the first girlfriend he ever let finger his hole and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time! I created a monster. But now I get to lay into him with Reverend Muther ova here and he couldn’t be happier.

The Hooded Nun is banana shaped; smooth on it’s dorsal side and ribbed on its belly. Its tail is a stylized pussy-shaped handle that makes maneuvering this big thing into place effortless. It’s also fantastic for doing my kegel exercises. I like to think of it as a barbell for my PC muscles.

You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.

And if that weren’t enough, you can chill and warm glass for superior sensation play.

Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning couldn’t be easier. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, since Alex and I are sharing the Hooded Nun, we sanitize it after each use by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

The Hooded Nun came wrapped in a hemmed piece of reclaimed fabric with a ribbon sewn on to it. Inside the wrap there was also a card with care and use instructions. It’s a beautiful presentation and would make a stunning gift.

If you’ve never had a glass toy and you want to give this amazing material a try, you can’t do better than a Fucking Sculptures.

Best Adult Products List For 2012

For those of you who missed my Final Podcast of 2012 — Podcast #357, posted last Wednesday, 12/19/12, it’s time to announce this year’s Best Adult Products List For 2012.

We have five categories this year — The Best Product or Toy for Men; The Best Product or Toy for Women; The Best Product or Toy for Couples; The Best Kinky Product or Toy; and The Best Lube or Lotion.

We reviewed some amazing adult products and sex toys this year in all five categories. So coming up with the very best in each category was a bit of a challenge. But despite the difficulty we completed our list and here are members of the Dr Dick Review Crew to reveal the winners.

Jada with The Best Product or Toy for WomenBloom.

Leaf-Bloom-Hand

Mick & Chuck with The Best Lube or LotionCumShotLube.

cum-Shot-Lube-clean

Jack & Karen with The Best Product or Toy for CouplesWE VIBE 3.

we-vibe-3-couples-450x470

  • We have a tie for The Best Kinky Product or Toy for 2012, and curiously enough, they both come from the same company, the wonderful folks at Spareparts.

Carlos with the Deuce Male Harness.

Deuce02

Christa with the Joque Harness.

spareparts Joque

Glenn and Hank with The Best Product or Toy for MenFat Boy Cock Extender.

Fat Boy03

Mimi by Blush Novelties

Mimi Pink —— $17.20

Christa

Just last month I posted a review of a fab new strap on by SpareParts. You can see that review HERE!

But what good is a harness if you don’t have a dong to use with it, right? Luckily, when I picked up the Joque to review, Dr Dick had this wonderful dildo from Blush Novelties to use with it. WIN/WIN!

So here’s my Mimi. Isn’t she terrific? She’s pink, but she also comes in two other colors. She is made from 100% high quality silicone, which as you probably know, is nonporous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. She’s not so big as to be frightening, just about 6.5” long x 1.25” thick, but, by god, she’ll get the job done. Just ask my sub butt-boy BF, Alex.

You’ll also notice that my Mimi is ribbed for his/her pleasure. Alex says that the sculptured waves and ridges make love to his ass lips. And he says that Mimi’s gentle curve is perfect for that prostate massage he craves. My pervert BF, Alex, is a connoisseur of all things anal. But the same can be said for G-spot stimulation. And I know this because when I’m not using this thing on Alex, I’m diddlin’ myself with it. So as you can see, it’s great to use with or without a strap on. You will find that the base makes it easy to grip if you aren’t using it with a harness.

Because we like to share our toys, it’s important that the toys we share be easily sanitized. This is where buying a quality silicone toy makes perfect sense. Cleanup, sanitization and sterilization couldn’t be easier. Simple soap and water is fine for everyday cleaning. Wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher. PERFECT!

You probably know this already, but it bears repeating; use only a water-based lube with this fine dong. A silicone-based lube will degrade the beautiful satin finish of sweet Mimi. And because of its beautiful finish, you’ll find that you won’t need gobs and gobs of lube either.

And look at the price! You simply can’t go wrong paying under $20 for a beautiful, high quality textured insertable. In fact, why not pick up a few, each in a different color.

Joque Harness by SpareParts

Joque Harness by SpareParts —— $99.99

Christa
Those of you who follow my reviews know that my, butt-boy BF, Alex, is like this total ass whore. I was the first girlfriend he ever had that played with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time.

Don’t get me wrong; I love the whole idea of pegging him senseless. I love everything about it. I love the role reversal, I love the domination and I love that I can make him squeal like a little piglet. In return for all this pleasuring, he waits on me hand and foot…especially the foot part. But that’s another story.

Sometimes I can satisfy Alex with a butt plug. This keeps him filled up and occupied till I find the time or the inclination to reward him with an ass fuck. In the past, I was less inclined to strap one on, because struggling with a poorly designed strap on was such a hassle.

Lucky for me…and Alex, I now am the proud owner of a Joque Harness. It’s changed everything. The Joque is by far the best and most comfortable strap on I’ve ever tried.

The Joque combines soft materials, easily adjustable straps, and a unique o-ring design to make the ultimate harness. If you are blessed with a partner who loves to bottom as much as Alex, you’re gonna want to invest in a Joque immediately. It’s that good.

Let me take you on a little tour of this marvel. First off there’s the material this jock- style harness is made of. The straps are made of a very soft cloth material, which uses a combination of velcro and elastic to securely fit itself to you. The front panel of the harness is made from a very soft bathing suit-like material. And once I fit the main straps on the waistband I never had to “re-fit” them again.

The Joque comes with two smaller tension straps that you tighten or release to make fine adjustments to the fit. This system fuckin’ rocks! A simple flick of the plastic buckle you can let out the slack till it’s just perfect. All these thoughtful design elements makes for and easy on, easy off. So now anally pleasuring Alex is as easy as slipping on a underwear.

And since the Joque is basically a clothing item, you simply toss it into the washing machine, when you’re done. So it’s always hygienic and sanitary. No more trying to keep a leather harness clean. There’s even a satin storage pouch included in the package.

The Joque has two leg straps. They are very comfortable and adjust as easily as the waistband. I really prefer this design to the more traditional G-string design.

Now let’s talk about the pouch, which is where all the action happens. The Joque has an elastic O-ring on the front that is designed to accommodate various sized dildos and vibrators. The ring is lined with the same swimsuit material as the pouch itself. Simply push the dildo through the O-ring. I didn’t have any problems till I tried to fit an unusually large dong through the O-ring. Then there was a struggle. The O-ring isn’t designed to accommodate the big boys.

There are even two internal pockets above and below the O-ring to accommodate mini bullet vibes for added sensations (bullet vibes not included in the package).

I have to keep coming back to how comfortable the Joque is. And it really holds up to vigorous play and Alex dearly loves his ass punished. This is also the only strap on I’ve ever seen that accommodates a double-headed dong, or strapless strap on like the SHARE . Ya see, the pouch design allows you to slide the double-header dildo all the way through the harness. When you’re not using that particular feature you keep the flap closed to protect yourself from having the base of a regular dong rub directly on your pussy.

Let’s recap, shall we? The Joque is super-comfortable, and totally stylish too. It even comes in a bunch of colors. It gets my highest recommendation.

I’m happy and Alex…well he’s fuckin’ delirious with his good fortune. Listen, this thing is worth every penny of its $100+ price tag. You could easily spend that much and more on an ill-fitting harness that will just piss you off. Why not buy the right tool for the job right from the get go.

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