Category Archives: Wood

Roxy by The Wood Wang Workshop

Roxy — £35.00

Joy: “Ever since Dixie and I got our first wooden dildo to review way back in December of 2008 we have been wood fanatics. I said in that earlier review, and it bears repeating today, nothing compares to owing a wooden dildo and having it inside you.”

Dixie: “I couldn’t agree with you more, Joy. And ya know what is great about wood? You can diddle yourself crazy and know that all the time you are doing so you are being as GREEN as green can be. I can’t think of a single sex toy material that has a smaller environmental footprint than wood.
Joy: “So true! When I hold Roxy in my hand I know that besides holding a beautiful objet d’art I have something completely natural and organic that will be around long after I am gone. I don’t know why exactly, but knowing that adds to the pleasure.”
Dixie: Hey, maybe some archeologist, a couple thousand years from now, will find our Roxy and marvel at our sex life.”
Joy: “Roxy is simply beautiful. Ours is made of exotic Zebrano wood, which gives it its very distinctive striped appearance. It is a whopping 11.5” long and it’s a double header; you can use both ends of her.”
Dixie: “One end has a tulip shaped head, perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation. The other end features five exceptionally stimulating bulbs and ridges. You can enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy: “Yeah, I love my dildos ridged! I love the rippling sensation. And regardless what end you use internally, the other end makes an excellent easy-grip handle, even with lubed up fingers. Speaking of which, you can use whatever kind of lube you prefer with Roxy, she’s that versatile.”
Dixie: “Roxy is, of course nonporous, so whatever lube you use, you’ll only need a few drops. And because it is nonporous, caring for her is blissfully simple. Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can sanitize her by wiping her down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Joy: “When you visit The Wood Wang Workshop website (try to say that 5 times fast) you will find all their amazing products arranged by kind — dildos, buttplugs, whips and paddles, etc. To find Roxy, you go to the dildo page and scroll down. While you are scrolling your eyes will pop and your mouth will water at the marvelous array of other insertables.”
Dixie: “That’s right; and not only do they have a stunning collection of designs, each one comes in your choice of 10 beautiful woods.
Joy: “Listen, you just can’t beat that with a stick. Pun intended!”
Dixie: “Roxy comes with a lovely satin draw sting pouch for discreet storage. But you know what? We keep our Roxy prominently displayed on our mantel. It is a beautiful piece of art that never fails to catch the eye of visiting friends. Everyone loves to pick it up and wave it about.”
Joy: “If you want to make an impression with a discriminating, hard to please GREEN sex toy consumer; consider something from The Wood Wang Workshop.”
Dixie: “As our fellow Review Crew Member, Kevin, quipped in the first of The Wood Wang Workshop reviews, all these products are lovingly made by British perverts. So help keep them busy and off the streets by patronizing their website. You will be so glad you did.”

The Amy & The Chunky Rectangular Paddle

Amy — £30.00

Chunky Rectangular Paddle — £25.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We starting off 2012 with a bang. Actually, it was more like a whack than a bang, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Right now I just want to say I am a total wood convert.”
Kevin: “Ditto! Thanks to the amazing craftsmen at The Wood Wang Workshop I probably have the happiest ass in town — filled up and roughed up at the same time.”
Gina: “The Amy (an adorable butt plug) and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are our first foray into the world of wooden toys. And all I can say is; what took us so long to discover the ultimate in GREEN sex toys? They’re both hand crafted and like all handmade things they are one of a kind. No one else has exactly the same toys as us. In this age of mass produced toys, the realization that we have something unique is refreshing.”
Kevin: “I really got off on knowing that these beauties were made by British perverts. I don’t know why that thrills me so, but it does. The Amy and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are just two of the beautiful kinky toys one will find on The Wood Wang Workshop. And, for the most part, you can choose to have your toy sculpted from any one of a variety of unusual and exotic woods, each with a different color and grain. All of the woods they use are forested from sustainable sources making their products environmentally friendly. You’d have a very difficult time indeed trying to find a more socially responsible sex toy company anywhere.”
Gina: “That’s true enough! But let’s not forget the pleasure these GREEN toys deliver. Our Amy is made from a wood I had never heard of before, Goncalo Alves. It’s so pretty and petite. It’s only about 3” long and about an inch and a half wide at its widest. I’d call Amy a beginner’s size plug. Kevin has several butt plugs, some of them are much larger than this one, but he says the Amy is oh so comfortable he can wear it for hours on end.”
Kevin: “Absolutely! I love me some butt plugs. You know the difference between a plug and any other type of insertable, right? If not, let me quickly clue you in. A butt plug is shorter and has a unique shape. The insertable part is often a tapered cone shape, designed for easy insertion and that delicious filled-up feeling while it’s in place. The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum. Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?”
Gina: “While Kevin quickly snapped up the Amy, I latched on to the very handsome Chunky Rectangular Paddle. Ours is made of cherry wood. Once I felt its heft, about 6oz, and fingered the braded rawhide wrist thong I knew I’d be able to punish Kevin’s ass in style. The two holes in the paddle leave very distinctive marks on his beautiful bottom.”
Kevin: “Oh yeah! It hurts real good. Like I said; there’s nothing better than having my ass filled up and roughed up at the same time.”
Gina: “I love liberating my inner dominatrix. I’ve come so very far from my innocent Catholic schoolgirl upbringing it sometimes surprises me. Kevin corrupted me and I’m ever so grateful.”
Kevin: “It is a real trip seeing Gina come into her own sexually and in power play. However, as much as I would like to take credit for corrupting her, the truth is she was ripe for picking, even when we first met. She’s taken to kink like she was raised that way.”
Gina: “Ok, I confess; I really get off on this. There was never any coercion involved. Kevin simply had to suggest a little perversion and I was totally up for it. Maybe it’s true what they say; kinksters are born not made.”
Kevin: “The Amy and the Chunky Rectangular Paddle are easy to care for. In fact, The Wood Wang Workshop artisans thoughtfully include a card with care instructions. Oh, and the Amy comes in a black satin drawstring pouch to keep it clean and safe between uses.”
Gina: “We are totally sold on these beautiful products and the company who makes them. These are quality handmade products at a very reasonable price. I also want to add that their website is a little tricky. You can peruse all their products by category — paddles, whips, dildos, etc. But to purchase the toy you want you must click on the SHOP tab and scroll through the inventory till you find what you are looking for.”
Kevin: “Note to The Wood Wang Workshop: we will gladly review any of your stuff anytime. Thanks for making distinctive and affordable GREEN products.”
Gina: “We highly suggest that you visit their website and patronize these wonderful craftsmen. Your support will send a strong message; you care about quality, you care about the environment and you care about pleasure.”

Hardwood Apple Wood Dildo

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out.  Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos.  I’m a big fan of Hans’.  He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist.  He really knows his wood and his woodies!  We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs.  When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken:  “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza.  I lucked out!  Denise and I have a real beauty.”433a.jpg
Denise:  “That is so true.  Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken:  “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own.  I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise:  “I stand corrected.  Maybe I need to be punished.  ;-)
Ken:  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise:  “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken:  “We seem to be veering off topic.  Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo.  It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry.  Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise:  “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that!  It also has a very traditional shape to it.  Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken:  “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise:  “You betcha!  I’m real old fashioned gal that way.  I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken:  “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo.  It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise:  “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken:  “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise:  “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry.  They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken:  “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise:  “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken:  “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise:  “What a great idea!  I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”

ENJOY!

Whimsy by Jildo

Whimsy $69.00

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Whimsy.

Hank:  “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”wh_020820_0.jpg
Glenn:  “I just love that name!  ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank:  “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn:  “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank:  “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning and all, do we?  Good!”
Glenn:  “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank:  “Oh, ok!  It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn:  “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank:  “You are such a dork!”
Glenn:  “You love it!”
Hank:  “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded.  Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped.  There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn:  “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank:  “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn:  “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say?  And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven.  And this thing warms to my body very fast.  It’s like totally awesome.”
Hank:  “He’s so right.  I can work this boy in to a froth of sexual frenzy with this thing.  And I like that it’s very masculine looking.  Despite it’s beauty, it doesn’t look out of place next to all of Glenn’s other insertables.”
Glenn:  “And I do have quite a collection.  At the same time, we could leave this on the coffee table as an object ‘d art for all to admire.
Hank:  “If you’re lookin’ for insertable art for your holiday giving, look no further than a stunning Jildo Dildo.”
Glenn:  “One final thing.  You absolutely have to check out their dildo lore page.  It is amazing.

Hart by Jildos

Hey sex fans,

Holy mackerel!  It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza.

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art.  They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost.  Can you stand it?  They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Hart $69.00

Joy & Dixie introduce us to Hart.

Joy:  “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages.  I’ve admired them online and even held a few in h_020804.jpgmy hands at our local sex emporium.  But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie:  “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance.  And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy:  “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.  But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges.  I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie:  “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too.  And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming.  It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy:  “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way.  And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes.  We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”
Dixie:  “Caring for this beauty is blissfully simple. Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy:  “Then you can use the wax packet provided with Hart to restore it’s natural luster. Just rub it on and buff it off.”
Dixie:  “Your Jildo Dildo will come with a Certificate of Authenticity and a nice velvet pouch for discreet storage.”
Joy:  “Jildos has a wide array of shapes and styles to choose from.  This is the ideal holiday gift for the GREEN
consumer.”

NobEssence – ROMP

Carlos introduces us to another beauty from NobEssenceROMP.

ROMP ——  $110

Carlos:  “It’s great to be back with some of my old review pals and some new ones too.

I feel a little odd being the only single person here, but my ROMP is perfect for solitary use.  It’s an exquisite wooden butt plug/prostate massager.

Before I continue with a description, I want to say that I agree with everything Ken and Denise said about their sculpture.  And since you just heard from them, I won’t repeat it all myself.romp.jpg

ROMP is the best prostate massager I’ve ever used.  And I’ve tried several.  It fits snug and stays in place because of the notch between the handle and the rounded insertable end.  And it’s designed to be worn for extended periods of time.  The longer you wear it, the better it feels.  Dr Dick and I are both big advocates of prostate self-awareness and prostate massage.  And this is the perfect ‘tool’ for that.

It isn’t all that big, so it is suitable for even the beginner.  The insertable section is 3 1/2” long and 1 1/2” at its widest point.  Nothing threatening there!  I suppose you could just as well use ROMP for G-spot stimulation, but I don’t have one of those.  So I can’t speak to that.

Lube, of course, is important.  And ROMP is compatible with all types of commercially produced lubes — water-based, silicone-based, whatever you have.

I love my ROMP.  I’ve already turned a couple of my bi-men friends on to this amazing instrument.

One thing I should point out.  The NobEssence site only allows you to buy directly from them if you use PayPal.  That is such a bummer.  Because there are a whole lot of us that will never use PayPal, ever.  I’m sure the sculptor looses a fair amount of business not having other pay options.  Luckily, the NobEssence site offers links to other online stores where you can purchase these marvels using a credit card.  So hurray for that!

If you have a prostate, or know someone who does, this is the ideal holiday gift for him.  Get ‘em while they’re hot!”  ;-)

ENJOY

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