TITAN by KIIROO

TITAN by KIIROO  ——  $149

Hank & Glenn,

Hank: “HEY SEX FREAKS! We’re back…after a nearly two-and-a-half-year absence. And we’re rarin’ to go.”
Glenn: “I am one of the founding members of the Dr Dick Review Crew. I did my first review in October on 2007. Some of the other members burnt out along the way. Then back in 2014, I think it was, Dr Dick decided to close down the reviews only to revive them again in 2018. It’s been kinda spotty since then, but I think our reviews do a great service to those who read this blog.”
Hank: “I joined the Dr Dick Review Crew in August 2008.
Glenn: “A couple of months ago, Dr Dick asked us if we’d be interested in reviewing a brand-new, fancy-schmancy stroker that he scored from a company in Amsterdam. Hank and I have had the pleasure of visiting Amsterdam a couple of times in the past, so, or course, we said yes. Amsterdam is fuckin’ amazing and is one of the great sex capitols of the world.”
Hank: “You can say that again! We had a blast in Amsterdam. So, we were expecting a great product from this horned-up corner of the globe.”
Glenn: “This here is the TITAN by KIIROO, a high-tech male masturbator. It’s jet black cylinder is sleek as shit and looks pretty much like a Bluetooth speaker. It’s a little over 8.5” tall and about 3.5” wide, and weighs about 2 pounds. Its hollow internal sleeve is 7.5” long.”
Hank: “TITAN is a lot more than just a jerk-off gadget. It’s a toy for both individuals and couples. (More about the couple thing in a minute.) Like Glenn said, the overall design is very stylish. But will it live up to its hype? That’s what I want to know.”
Glenn: “I wanted to know that too. But first, we needed to charge the TITAN. A USB charging cord is included in the package. The initial charge took about 5 hours. Ya get about 40 minutes of play from a charge.”
Hank: “While it was charging, we decided to take a closer look at the

TITAN. The plastic shell has ridges on it to aid you in keeping a hold with lubed up fingers. There’s a power button and three glossy areas (control panel) where you place your fingers to adjust speed and vibration. There’s a side panel on the shell that opens to expose the sleeve. It’s kinda cool just to look at. The sleeve has three rods running through it. These rods have nine vibrating bullets (three on each rod) built into them. The sleek control panel on the surface of the unit controls the vibrating bullets offering a variety of sensations. I have no idea what the sleeve is made of, but it ain’t silicone. It’s too squishy to be silicone. It’s more like the SuperSkin of a Fleshlight. That means it’s porous and contains phthalates. Finally, a really flimsy clear plastic lid, like the kind of lid you’d get on a soft drink cup, covers the top.”
Glenn: “I was disappointed with the sleeve. I know from experience how difficult it is to clean and maintain super squishy materials like this. They feel good the first time ya use ‘em, but if extreme care isn’t used in cleaning it and thoroughly drying it, it will breakdown and you’ll have a huge mess on your hands. Yeah, and what’s up with this ridiculous lid? It doesn’t even stay in place.”
Hank: “The TITAN is pretty light weight and it’s surprisingly quiet too. There’s a bunch of other stuff in the box — user manual in a bunch of languages, quick set up guide, charging instructions, a warranty card, and a free trial for an interactive porn site. (The TITAN can sync with this porn site. It can also sync with another toy using a downloadable app for partnered use.) We didn’t use either of these two features, but they are available to anyone who wants them.”
Glenn: “OK, now that the TITAN is all charged up I offer Hank the first go at it. Nowhere on the box, or in user manual, or set up guide tells you that you can only use water-based lube. But, trust me, that’s all you can use with this toy. So Hank lubes up his big old dick and attempts to slide it in to the sleeve. Hank is heavy hung, so this takes some doin’. But once he’s got his chub situated, he begins to fiddle with the control panel.
Hank: “As it turns out, the three “buttons” on the control panel adjust vibration and speed on the three sets of bullet vibes on the rods embedded in the sleeve. This provides loads of different sensations up and down your pecker. I was impressed. You still have to use it like a stroker though. You have to pump up and down your dick. I got into a very satisfying rhythm while I was watching some of my favorite porn. In no time I was ready to unload a three-day supply of spooge.”
Glenn: “Hank has the best orgasms. He roars like a bear. When he was finished, he pulled the TITAN off his boner and set it down upright on our wooden computer desk. Remember how we said at the beginning that the sleeve was hollow? Well we had forgotten about that. When Hank picked up the TITAN to carry it to the bathroom, we discovered to our horror that all his jizz and all the lube he used ran out the hole in the bottom of the blasted thing. What a fuckin’ mess.”
Hank: “My bad! Now I had an extra mess to clean up and I had to do it super-fast so it wouldn’t destroy the desktop. Speaking of clean up, I suppose you can just run some warm water and soap through the inside of the sleeve, rinse, and let it air dry. But I like my toys really clean, so I had to open the side panel and roll the sleeve off the three rods with the bullets. This way I could thoroughly clean the sleeve. I set it aside to air dry. Because the material used to make the sleeve is so porous, just as we thought, once dry it was really tacky. It needed to be powdered before it could be used again. And, in order to use it again, you will have to re thread the sleeve back on to the rods with the vibes. And let me tell you, that is no easy task.”

Glenn: “If I wanted to use the TITAN, I would have had to use a condom. This material, whatever it is, is not designed for sharing. I thought that was too bad. But just for the hell of it, I went to the Kiiro site to see if they sold replacement sleeves. They do. There are two sleeves (They don’t say what the sleeves are made of on there site either.) and they are $39 apiece. Imagine if you had to replace the sleeve every couple months. ”
Hank: “By the way, the whole Kiiro site is exclusively heterosexual. They certainly don’t do anything to welcome the gays.”
Glenn: “So there ya have it. A really great tech savvy stroker with loads of features for your (and a partner’s) pleasure. But there are a number of sometimes glaring problematic issues…I’m looking at you sleeve.”
Hank: “Ya know, years ago most sex toys were battery operated. That is before consumers began to demand toys be rechargeable. Consumers insisted because of the cost involved in buying loads of replacement batteries and the environmental impact of disposing of the batteries. I think the same kind of thing is happening with materials used to create sex toys. Consumers are demanding healthy materials. Materials that are sharable. Materials that will last. Hopefully, in the future, this squishy material stuff will go the way of the dodo bird and toy producers will see their way to being more health conscious and cost effective. It’s in their best interest after all.”

ENJOY

Onyx 2 by Kiiroo

Kiiroo Onyx 2  —— $219.00

Trevor

Hello again! I’m here to talk about the Kiiroo Onyx 2.

I confess; I’m a wanker. I know that word is often used as a put down, particularly where I come from.  I’m originally from the UK, Manchester to be precise, but have been in the US since I was 13. But I’m proud of my masturbation skills. I’ve been pullin’ my pud since I was just a lad and I’m now 35.

Get this, my da caught me wankin’ away like the little pervert I was when I was just eleven. Embarrassing, huh? Actually, it was OK. I think he was as embarrassed as me. Anyhow, after that he and I have been able to talk quite openly about sex, which, I think, has been good for both of us.

So, I’m proud to say that I’m a connoisseur of playing with myself. I’ve tried numerous strokers and masturbators in my time. I know what works and what don’t work. With that then, let’s take a look at the Onyx 2. There’s lots to see.

I’m going to start with the box. Onyx 2 comes in a very sturdy white cardboard with a picture of the product on the front. The sides and back are plastered with little icons that tout the many different features of the Onyx 2. Little descriptors come in seven languages. All the packaging is recyclable, which is good and environmentally responsible.

Inside the box you will find the Onyx 2, a USB charging cable (This thing is rechargeable.), a little instruction manual in many languages, a warranty/registration card, a Fleshlight SuperSkin insert (Lots more about this to come.), and a free trial for FeelMe. (Porn that can sync with the Onyx 2).

First things first. Ya gotta charge the Onyx 2 for 4-6 hours before use.  There’s an easy to access covered port near the base of the unit. You’ll get about an hour of play on a full charge.

While the unit is charging you can begin to set it up for use. Here’s where things get a little tricky.

The Onyx 2 has a removable cap on the bottom. Lifting the cap is easy. Once the cap is removed you can see the space-aged innards. It’s very cool. Now ya have to carefully pry off a plastic lip so that you can insert the Fleshlight sleeve. This wasn’t as easy as I hoped. The plastic is thin, and I was afraid I was going to break it if I pried too hard. In the end it came off just fine.

Next I opened the sealed packet containing the Fleshlight sleeve. This is where my problems began.

My experience was nothing like this.

I used to own a Fleshlight. I thought it was brilliant at first. But, after a few uses, the SuperSkin insert began to deteriorate. Unlike silicone, SuperSkin is porous, contains phthalates, and is not hypoallergenic. Cleaning it is a headache and even if you’re careful washing and drying it, it won’t last like silicone. And don’t even think about sharing a SuperSkin toy.

When I opened the sealed packet containing the Fleshlight sleeve I was shocked to discover that the insert had melted into itself. Very disappointing! I know what the sleeve was supposed to look like, a condom sized ribbed insert, because I saw pictures of it online. (See the photo above.) Mine didn’t look anything like this picture. Mine was a white blob. I carefully tried to pull the sticky mess apart. (Had it been in its package too long?) SuperSkin is really stretchy, so I was partially successful in pulling it into shape. I say partially because I tore two little holes in it with my effort. Frankly, after this irritating little adventure, I wanted to walk away from this whole exercise.

Why in the world would a company make a $200+ engineering marvel of a toy and have the use of the toy depend on a crummy, yeah, I’m gonna say it, unhealthy insert? What, a silicone insert, one that would be easy to clean, wouldn’t degrade, and be easy to use over and over again, and that would be nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic, wasn’t available? Disappointed!!

OK, so I finally get the sleeve stretched out to the best of my ability and slip it into the core of the Onyx 2. Now I had to arrange the base of the sleeve on the top of the unit so that I could replace the plastic lip. This is supposed to keep the sleeve in place while in use. This step is way easier said than done. The SuperSkin is a bit greasy so it was a struggle to get it into just the right position for the plastic lip to hold it and snap back into place.

Once I finally had the Onyx 2 set up I replaced the cap and let it finish charging. I was glad for this hiatus because my libido was tamped down big time after all the struggle to get this fuckin’ thing set up. No toy, especially a very expensive toy should be this troublesome, if ya ask me.

The next day I approached the Onyx 2 again. I had my water-based lube in hand (You can only use water-based lube with SuperSkin.) and I was ready to bust a nut.

Just so you know, you can either just switch on the unit and use it in manually, (You control the speed and sensations using the touch-sensitive strip on the front.) or you can check out some interactive porn using the FeelMe site.

I chose the first option. I wanted to get a feel, so to speak, for what the Onyx 2 could do on its own. I had to use a lot of lube to get started. This got a bit messy, as I knew it would.  I prepared by having some wipes ready to clean my hands throughout. Otherwise using the control panel, or even holding the thing, would have been difficult.

(If you’re going the interactive route, you have to install the FeelMe app from your app store, pair your device with the app, and then navigate your way to an interactive porn site.)

The Onyx 2, once it is set up, is basically a hands-free device. It does all the work for you. It will literally rub one out for you without even thrusting. Cool. It’s pretty lightweight, comparatively speaking, and quiet too.

I watched some of my own go-to porn and had a very satisfying orgasm. So YAY for that!

After my session was over, I removed the plastic lip which was holding the Fleshlight sleeve in place and pulled out the insert. I had every intention to try to clean it for another use, but to my dismay, there was lube all over the inside of the core. I know, I know, it was my fault. I used the Fleshlight SuperSkin sleeve even though I had punctured it when I was trying to stretch it out. What a bummer. Now I had to clean out the core.

This did nothing for my post-orgasm afterglow.

I looked on the Kiiro site for replacement sleeves for the Onyx 2, but couldn’t find any. There were replacement sleeves available for one of their other products, but not for the Onyx 2. So now what’s a person to do?

Because I’m a plucky little wanker, I didn’t let the SuperSkin debacle get me totally down. The next time I tried the Onyx 2 I wore two condoms on my willy and slipped it onto the Onyx 2’s core so I could enjoy the great sensation it had to offer. This worked out OK, but wasn’t optimum. I don’t think I should have to improvise with a product that costs over $200.

I know that the Onyx 2 has other capabilities, like connecting with a partner and her toy, but I didn’t go there. Mainly because my wife would have had to have her own interactive toy. (Actually, she noticed all the problems I was having in setting up and using the Onyx 2, and she didn’t want to add to my frustration.) And, of course, I had no sleeve.

Here are my final thoughts. I think the Onyx 2, is a brilliant concept. It’s relatively quiet and rather lightweight for the great sensations it can deliver. The SuperSkin insert was a disaster.

If/when the Kiiro folks ever decide to jettison the Fleshlight connection and get themselves a good silicone insert I will eagerly revisit the Onyx 2.  Until that time, it will sit idle because I don’t have another usable insert. And the whole bloody thing is useless without a sleeve.

Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker

Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker —— $24.99

Brad
Jesse Jane is my favorite porn star. I think I have at least a half dozen of her movies, including the two Pirates movies. So when I saw the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker at Dr Dick’s place, I asked if I could review it.

I want to start my review with how the stroker looks in its package. The clear molded plastic case features a totally hot pic of Ms Jane in her pirate costume. You can see the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker through the clear plastic and it looks like an ice sculpture. Very cool! I know ya can’t tell a book by its cover, but the presentation is totally hot, especially for a Jesse Jane fan, like me.

I opened the package and fished out the jelly-like stroker. It’s made of Cyberskin, which really soft, floppy and squishy. I have to say; upon closer inspection of the stroker outside the package, it is a little eerie. It’s like this see-through elf of a Jesse Jane. There’s also a sweet smell to it, almost like strawberry shortcake. I kid you not.

The thing about this stroker is that it has two small apertures at either end of Jesse’s tiny body — one where her asshole would be and the other at her mouth. Since you can see right through her body, you can also see the textured canal that is supposed to surround your dick when you fuck this thing. I mean that’s what a masturbator is all about, right?

Right off the bat I’m thinkin’ I’m never gonna get my 7.5” thick cock into the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker no matter how stretchy the Cyberskin is. But I proceeded anyhow. I got my favorite water-based lube; it’s the only kind of lube I’d ever use with Cyberskin. Funny, there’s nothing on the package that would warn a user about that. In fact the package has no information about the care and handling of this special material. And that’s way too bad, because if you use the wrong kind of lube with Cyberskin it will disintegrate. And if you don’t care for it after each and every use, you will destroy it.

So anyhow, I lube up the stroker and I’m trying to figure out a way to shimmy my boner into it when I finally give up. I realize the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker is not made for someone with my endowment. Bummer! This would probably be a great masturbation sleeve for someone with an average sized cock.

I love the feel of Cyberskin, it makes for some fantastic sensations. But it has certain drawbacks. Cleaning it is a bitch. I was able to submerge the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker into a sink of warm soapy water, but it’s impossible to turn it inside out to get it completely clean. I was having enough problems cleaning out the lube; but had I also dropped a load of spunk in there as well, it would have been even a bigger headache.

You also have to remember to dust Cyberskin with body powder or cornstarch once it is thoroughly dry. If you forget this essential step the toy will become so tacky and sticky that you won’t be able to use it again. But powdering the ribbed canal inside this stroker is nearly impossible, again because you can’t turn it inside out. You also need to store Cyberskin apart for your other toys too. I keep mine in a plastic bag.

I want to close with what I think I know about us guys and how we jerkoff. We love to wank! We love to cum! We love to make a mess! But we absolutely hate the cleanup. That’s why most of us will dump our load in a dirty sock, a wad of Kleenex, an old tee shirt or a towel. Once the bust-a-nut event is over, we don’t want to think anymore about it. Now a masturbator that isn’t easy to clean, one that takes a load of special care will be fun for a time, but then the novelty probably won’t last.

I’d love to be proven wrong about this, but until I hear otherwise, I’m gonna stick to my guns.