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The Ultimate by BodiSpa

The Ultimate —— $69.95

Angie
Hello everyone! This is only my second review so far this year. My previous review posted last February. My, how time flies. Those of you who follow my reviews will, no doubt, be expecting an update on how I’m doing. For those unfamiliar with my situation, here’s the back-story. I was diagnosed with lymphoma over two years ago. I first mentioned this in a review I posted on April 27th, 2012.

I’ve had a few setbacks recently, nothing major, but just enough to remind me that I’m still livingUltimate-Massager1 through the cancer and the truly horrible interventions that are supposedly keeping me alive. My libido ebbs and flows and I’ve made my peace with that. I don’t suppose I’ll ever get back to the way I once enjoyed my sexuality and the sexual connection I had with my husband. But as Dr Dick keeps telling me, it’s best that I focus on the new normal; what is possible for me now as opposed to how things were, in even the recent past. That’s pretty sage advice for us all, don’t you think?

Today I happily bring you my review of a marvelous wand-type massager, The Ultimate. I read with great interest the review, my fellow Review Crew members, Kevin and Gina, posted of their BodiSpa massager, The Almighty. I thought to myself, wow, wouldn’t that be a nice to have. I loved the idea of a massager that had both a warming and cooling capability. Then I reconsidered my envy. I couldn’t handle such a big and heavy massager. Heck, nowadays I sometimes have a difficult time maneuvering my trusty Hitachi. Sometimes I simply don’t have the strength.

However my new more diminutive massager, The Ultimate, is not only the perfect size for me, it is amazingly light. Despite being 10 1/2″ tall it weighs in at just over seven ounces. What a godsend. Now I can once again enjoy the power of a wand-type massager without the heft generally associated with those behemoths.

The thing is, when I first removed The Ultimate from its attractive box, I though to myself, oh dear, it’s so light, it can’t possibly deliver the intense vibrations I’m used to. Happily, I was wrong about that. This massager has two speeds and both deliver substantial vibration. I wonder how they packed so much power into such a handily handy thing.

Ultimate-Zoomed-inThe next best feature is The Ultimate has an adjustable head. It has an adjustment button three quarters up the handle that allows me to angle the vibrating head in three different positions. This is such a brilliant feature that, now that I’m used to it, I wonder how I ever lived without. No more struggling to get the vibe precisely where I want it. What a treat!

The Ultimate is also cordless. That’s right it’s rechargeable. It’s like BodiSpa read my mind. Even in my healthy days, I used to hate being tethered to an outlet. My trusty Hitachi is grand, but I would inevitably get all tangled in the cord or move to a position beyond the cord’s reach.

The controls are in the handle. The Ultimate has an easy to use slide control with three positions — off, low and high. The traditional shaped head is made of latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. It features four different surfaces — ribbed, nubby, smooth and bumpy. And if that weren’t enough the head flexes for even more comfort.

I mentioned earlier that my libido isn’t what it used to be, but The Ultimate isn’t only for self-pleasuring, it massages away my cares and woes and aches and pains, which I seem to have more and more of these days, in the most efficient manner.

Thank you BodiSpa for this remarkable product. The Ultimate is perfect! I can’t think of even one improvement I would make. My friends, particularly any one of you out there who might be dealing with health or aging issues that make handling unwieldy things difficult, this is the ideal wand vibe for you. And it’s priced so that even someone on a fixed income can afford one.

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SPUNK Lube Pink

SPUNK Lube Pink (8 oz) —— $14.50

Christa
Ya know what I hate? I hate being the last reviewer in a series of reviews for a product line. That’s, because when I’m last, I gotta come up with something new and clever to say; stuff that hasn’t already been said by one of my Dr Dick Review Crew pals. Case in point, today’s review of SPUNK Lube Pink.

Ya know what I really like? I really like SPUNK Lube Pink.

Does that sound bat-shit crazy to you? Well, it shouldn’t. While I will be repeating a lot of the stuff Brad said in his review of SPUNK Lube Hybrid, that doesn’t mean I like SPUNK Lube Pink any less then he liked his version of Spunk lube.

Ok, funny story before I get on with it. If you follow my reviews you will know about my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex. He is like this total ass-whore. He like totally gets off on all the stuff I bring home from Dr Dick. If, whatever I bring home even faintly looks like it’ll go up his hole, he’s on his knees, butt in the air, begging for his turn to get plugged. I swear, he can be so annoying. But, ya know what? I absolutely love punishing his ass. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much.spunkpink-main-final

Anyhow, the day I got home with the SPUNK Lube Pink, Alex was already home and on the couch smokin’ a bowl. (You know that pot is legal here in the Evergreen State, right?) So I plop down on the couch next to him and whip out the plastic squeeze bottle of SPUNK Lube Pink with it’s distinctive label and hand it to Alex. He squeezes some into the palm of his hand and stares down at it. It takes it a minute or two to register what he has in his hand. Then he turns to me and says, “This is what lady spooge would look and feel like, if ladies spooged, huh?”

He’s such a dork! But I totally get where he’s coming from. SPUNK Lube Pink is the consistency and viscosity of a guy’s nut, only it’s pink.

I wonder, do people choose lube for its color? I suppose maybe they do, or why else would the SPUNK Lube sell a pink version of their very popular SPUNK Lube Hybrid, the product Brad reviewed?

Like it’s popular cousin, SPUNK Lube Pink is a water-based/silicone-based hybrid.  It doesn’t dry out or get sticky. There is, however, a bit of an odor to it, nothing offensive, but it is there. And after getting some in my mouth…I’ll let you guess how that happened…I won’t let that again. The taste is unappealing.

The best thing about SPUNK Lube Pink is it’s glycerin free. That can’t be said about the original formula that Brad reviewed. However, this product does contain methylparaben, which can be a problem for people highly allergic to any kind of paraben. But I didn’t experience any discomfort or burning sensations when I…we used it.

SPUNK Lube Pink is also safe to use with condoms and all your favorite sex toys, even your expensive silicone toys. It feels wickedly slippery to the touch, and doesn’t loose its slipperiness with extended use.

Clean up is easy with hand soap and warm water. Despite the fact that SPUNK Lube Pink is lightly colored with a common food dye, FD & C Red 40, but not to worry. It didn’t stain sheets or towels. So yay for that.

If you’re looking for a fun alternative to a white or clear lube, one that is versatile and long-lasting SPUNK Lube Pink is worth a try.

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Almighty by BodiSpa

The Almighty —— $169.95

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “Here’s a little known fact: I’m a massage therapist. Actually, I’ve been practicing massage and bodywork for over five years, it’s just that I haven’t identified myself as such in this venue.”Almighty2
Kevin: “I tell you this woman has the most talented hands! I have been on the receiving end of her miraculous touch for years now. I am like putty in her hands.”
Gina: “Oh, that’s so sweet! Thank you for that. I am super proud of my talent and, this might come as a surprise, I have my grandmother to thank for this gift. My mother suffered from migraine headaches and my grandmother was able to relieve most of her suffering with head and neck massages. She taught me the power of therapeutic touch.”
Kevin: “It’s amazing to think that this healing talent is locked up in all of us. Gina has been kind enough to pass on some of her techniques to me and now I can make a cuddle session on the couch a way of relieving her stress.”
Gina: “He’s awesome! But wait, we’re not here to talk about my skill set, we’re here to introduce you to a truly amazing instrument of pleasure and therapy. This giant is called Almighty. And it is aptly named too. I say giant, because this wand-type, hot/cold massager is a whopping 16.5” tall. Its ergonomically shaped head is 4” wide and it weighs in at almost 3 pounds. It’s a monster with a long, cordless handle.”
Kevin: “The Almighty is not a toy, nor is it specifically for sex. In fact, I had to check with Dr Dick about this. ‘How did you score this thing? It’s not really a sex toy, now is it?’ He assured me that the BodiSpa people knew we did sex toy reviews and they wanted to have our take on it.”
Gina: “As soon as I held the Almighty in my hands for the first time, I knew it was something special. I immediately knew that I would be able to incorporate the Almighty into my massage practice. It’s that good. Why, this vibrator is so strong that you can use it through clothing, which is wonderful, because some of my clients come to me only for a neck and shoulder massage and they don’t get undressed for it.”
Kevin: “There are so many wonderful features to the Almighty. It is made of ABS, a super durable plastic, which is phthalate free. It is beautifully designed to last. Gina mentioned earlier that it is cordless. In other words, it’s rechargeable.”almighty
Gina: “The thing that won my heart is the Almighty not only delivers two speeds of deep and penetrating vibrations, it also heats up or cools down depending on your preference. You see, there is a metal plate in the head of the massager and this is what delivers the heat and cooling. This feature further extends the therapeutic nature of the vibrations. Think about it, 104-122 degrees Fahrenheit of warmth to relieve arthritis and other joint and muscle pain. And 50-59 degrees Fahrenheit of chilling power to reduce muscle spasms and swelling. Both the vibration speed and the hot/cold intensity are regulated with easy-to-use dials in the handle.”
Kevin: “Speaking of swelling, and since this is sex toy review, the Almighty is brilliant at making my cock swell and my balls tingle, as well as making Gina’s pussy tingle and her clit engorge. So there’s that.”
Gina: “Thank you for adding that. I don’t want our readers thinking this whopper is an all work and no play massager. You know how we often talk about hot/cold sensation play using some of our glass or metal toys? Well the Almighty has that feature built in AND it vibrates. It’s the best of both worlds. And just so you know, this vibe is super-powerful. I can place the head of the Almighty on my spine, between my shoulder blades and it will deliver vibration so deep and heavy that my teeth chatter. That’s powerful!”
Kevin: “Although the Almighty isn’t waterproof, it is still easy to sanitize after each use. Simply wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with mild soap and warm water. Then wipe it down again with another lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Gina: “The Almighty gets my highest rating. Sure the $170 price tag is a lot, but consider all the fantastic features you are getting all rolled into one product. I mean you can easily spend nearly that much on a high-end vibe that is neither as powerful or as versatile.”
Kevin: “I agree! Regardless of if you are looking for therapeutic or pleasure, the Almighty will deliver. And ya know what, now that I think about it, there doesn’t need to be a dichotomy between therapeutic and pleasurable. I think Gina will agree, all pleasure is therapeutic.”
Gina: “I like the Almighty so much that I intend to nominate it for one of our Best Products of The Year awards, which the Review Crew posts at the end of every year. Nice work, BodiSpa!”

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Spunk Lube Pure Silicone

Spunk Lube Pure Silicone (8 oz) —— $20.00

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Our package of Spunk Lube Pure Silicone clearly states: ‘pure silicone lubricant for men and women.’ So I put on my thinking caps and discerned that Spunk Lube Pure Silicone is a pure silicone lube and it’s for men and women.”
Chuck: “Your powers of deduction, my dear Mick, are second to none. But you forgot to mention that it is made from four different kinds of silicone, so there’s that.”
Mick: “Thank you and you’re right! Those of you who follow our reviews know that Chuck and I are into edge play. And for those not familiar with that term, that means jerkin’ off but trying to last as long as you can.”Spunk Lube Pure Silicone
Chuck: “Damn straight. We pop some porn in the DVD player and work our cocks for as long as we can stand it. Sometimes that literally means wanking for an hour or two. Whee! Spunk Lube Pure Silicone is the best lube we’ve tried for our particular kink. It’s long lasting and remains slick and silky even over long periods of time. And, if it works this good under these difficult conditions, you know for certain that it makes fucking a joy. Spunk Lube Pure Silicone is completely hypoallergenic too. Ya gotta love that.”
Mick: “Just remember, silicone-based lubes and silicone toys don’t mix!”
Chuck: “Spunk Lube Pure Silicone has no discernible taste and it’s odorless. Neither Mick nor I have experienced any irritation, even during our marathon edging sessions.”
Mick: “It’s a surprisingly light consistency. It feels more natural than other silicone-base lubes I’ve tried. Spunk Lube Pure Silicone, unlike its hybrid cousin, comes in a squeeze bottle instead of a pump bottle. The labeling, however, is just as distinctive.”
Chuck: “Use this lube sparingly, just a wee bit. As they say, ‘a little dab will do ya.’ It’s safe to use with condoms too.”
Mick: “Spunk Lube Pure Silicone is about as health-conscious a lube as you will find. It stands up great to water, think shower, hot tub, whatever. My skin actually feels better after I use this product. I love it.”
Chuck: “Clean up is easy with just hand soap and warm water. And, unlike other silicone lubes we’ve tried, it doesn’t satin cloths or sheets.”
Mick: “Get some Spunk Lube Pure Silicone today! And be sure to check out all three of their premium lubes. After seeing Brad’s review of their Spunk Lube Hybrid, last month, we immediately went online and snapped up three bottles of the stuff. Now we have spunk for days!”

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Cute Toyfriend & Shorty Toyfriend

Cute Toyfriend —— $22.68
Shorty Toyfriend —— $40.25

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Jack and I have two vibes to tell you about today. Both come from Toyfriend. I think I can safely categorize both as small, pocket-sized personal vibrators. But despite their diminutive size, they are distinctive in terms of design and function.”
Jack: “Both Karen and I were impressed with the reviews our fellow Review Crew members gave the two other Toyfriend vibes that we’ve featured over the past few weeks. This company gets high marks for innovation and creativity.”Cute
Karen: “I want to introduce you to our first Toyfriend, Cute. It has a very unique design. In fact it is the most distinctive toy I own. Its broad flat head, as well as its stalk is covered in beautiful, warm-to-the-touch 100% silicone. It’s easy to grip, even with lubed fingers. Cute is a G-spot vibe, so it’s meant to be inserted. However, I found I liked it best as an external vibe. The edge of the broad flat head was ideal for clit stimulation.”
Jack: “Since Karen was having difficulty using the Cute on herself internally. I asked if I might give it a try. As it turned out, it was much easier for me to maneuver Cute into place than it was for her to do so. Besides, I know where her G-spot is.”
Karen: “Sometimes that’s how it is, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s nice to just lay back and be taken care of instead of taking care of one’s self. Cute is not a particularly powerful vibe; it runs on a battery. And happily, the first battery is included in the package. Thanks Toyfriend! However, the battery they chose for this vibe is unusual. It’s an N-type, 1.5W battery. We couldn’t use any of our stock of traditional sized batteries with this vibe. For some this will be a deal breaker. In fact, we had to search several stores to find a replacement.”
Jack: “I have to agree. I have to wonder why Toyfriend chose that battery size as opposed to a more traditional AAA battery. That issue aside, Cute is waterproof so it can be enjoyed in the shower or bath. We have one of those oversized bathtubs in our master bathroom so Karen and I start many of our play sessions in the bath. I can’t think of anything more soothing than a soak, it really gets me in a sensual mood. I was able to use Cute externally on myself too. It’s a tickler, ya know. Its broad flat head delivers a tingly sensation to my nipples, dick head, balls, and butthole. I couldn’t quite insert it in my ass, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I guess I need something more tapered.”
Karen: “I think that Jack liked Cute more than I did, which is perfectly fine with me. Next up is Shorty. I had to laugh the first time I saw this vibe. It’s a stylized rabbit vibe. Again, kudos for the distinctive design, but what struck me most is that it looks like a rabbit with a huge, obscene erection.”Toyfriend-Shorty
Jack: “It does; it’s comical! There are many similarities between these two toys. Shorty, like its Cute cousin, is covered from head to toe in beautiful silicone. It’s also battery operated, same funky size battery too. It’s as quiet as its cousin and it is waterproof too. It’s also a G-spot vibe. But ya know what? This one works on my P-spot. Because of it’s tapered ‘appendage.’ For lack of a better term, I was able to slip it right in my ass.”
Karen: “I’m certain that Jack got off on Shorty way more than I did. The overly stylized shape didn’t work for me and my G-spot. The bullet style vibrator delivers gentle stimulation. If that’s your bag, or you’re just starting out as a vibrator user, you’ll really like Shorty.”
Jack: “Both of our new toys, Shorty and Cute, are ideal for sharing. The fact that they are waterproof and sheathed in nonporous silicone makes sanitizing these puppies easy as pie. Mild soap and warm water is fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. After you wipe it down rinse in warm water and let it air dry. But we both were so confident of the quality of these toys that we dropped each of them in boiling water for a couple of minutes and even ran them through a cycle in the dishwasher to completely sanitize them. Both toys weathered this treatment no problem at all.”
Karen: “There’s no doubt about it, these are well designed and carefully crafted pleasure products. I want to call attention to the minimalist packaging. It’s fun, and there’s nothing ostentatious about it. Both vibes come with their own clear plastic stand. Very nice!”
Jack: “There’s lots to recommend these adorable toys. Just remember they are pocket-sized. Neither one is gonna deliver the vibration of a full-sized vibrator.”
Karen: “Be sure you only use a water-based lube with a fine silicone-skinned toys like these. A silicone-based lube will mar the finish. And I am delighted that Jack had more fun with these two vibes than I did. Like I said earlier, that’s just how it happens sometimes. I’ve certainly have had more fun with some toys then he has had, so I suppose it all works out in the end, no pun intended.”
Jack: “Be sure to stock up on those N-type batteries though.”

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SPUNK Lube Hybrid

SPUNK Lube Hybrid (8 oz) —— $15.00

Brad
Those of you who follow my reviews know that I’m a personal trainer. About a year ago one of my new clients, a gay dude, says to me, “You look so familiar. I said, “Really?” He says, “Yeah, but I just can’t think of where I may have seen you before.” I think nothing more of it till a few weeks later he says, “I know why you look so familiar.” “You do?” He says, you are the spittin’ image of this guy on the internet who jerks off all the time on camera.” I’m like, “Get otta here!” He says, “No really, you should check it out. The site is called STR8cam and the guy’s name is Jeff.”

I’m thinkin’ ok, this new client of mine doesn’t know I’m straight and he’s comin’ on to me with this stuff. I mean, I don’t care if my clients get the hots for me. I’m flattered. I also use that sexual tension to my benefit. I can always get my gay clients to work harder for me if I flirt with them. Which is not hard to do, because they’re all nice guys. It’s harmless, of course and I know they’re never offended, so it works for everyone.

But I got to tell you my interest in this Jeff guy was too much for me to resist. I had to see for myself if he and I looked anything alike. I went home one afternoon, googled the site and discovered we could be brothers. DAMN! You gotta give this guy credit, because he’s been pullin’ his pud on camera for years. And I’m sure he has this huge gay following. You GO, Jeff.spunklube

Fast-forward to last month when Dr Dick whips out this bottle of SPUNK Lube Hybrid, and asks me if I’d like to give it a spin. I said, “Sure, why the fuck not?” Then he tells me that this stuff come from this guy he knows in the porn industry, named Jeff, who runs this site called STR8cam. What do you know; now there’s two degrees of separation between me and my online look-alike. So I ask the good doctor, “Hey, do you think this Jeff guy and I look alike? The reason I ask is, one of my clients turned me on to his site about a year ago, because he said I looked like him.” Dr Dick said, “Come to think of it, I guess there is a resemblance.” If that don’t beat all!

So here’s to you, Jeff, my bro from a different mother.

SPUNK Lube Hybrid is my new favorite lube. I mean, it stands to reason that someone who beats his meat for a living would know his way around lube, but this stuff is better than good. The first thing you need to know is it looks and feels just like a guy’s nut. A few drops of SPUNK Lube has the same consistency and viscosity of my own load. I tell ya, if you warm SPUNK Lube a bit, like in a bowl of warm water, I defy you to tell the difference between your jizz and SPUNK Lube, it’s that realistic.

About the only difference between SPUNK Lube and my own cum is SPUNK Lube lasts a whole lot longer. It never dries out or gets sticky. And for all you guys out there (ladies too, I suppose) who get off on playing with your own baby batter, well you’ll have a ball, no pun intended, with SPUNK Lube It is tasteless and odorless too.

I notice from the SPUNK Lube site that they offer three different types of lube. This is the hybrid variety, which is a mixture of both water-based and silicone-based lube.

I tried SPUNK Lube first by myself. It’s the perfect jerk-off lube. I must be one of those guys who fetishize their nut, because I slathered on the SPUNK Lube just so I could see it drip down my dick. Of course, I didn’t stop there. Before I knew it, I was pumpin’ this shit on my chest and belly. Ok, so I can get a little freaky when I’m alone. So sue me!

I introduced my GF to SPUNK Lube the first opportunity I had. She’s very particular about personal lubricants because her skin is so sensitive to the chemicals and additives in a lot of lesser quality lubes. She loved it, no irritation at all.

One thing, even though I loved the distinctive packaging design on the pump bottle, (love the pump bottle) the print on the Ingredients section is so small and faint, it can’t be read. Hey Jeff, that’s not good! And I can’t find a list of Ingredients on your site either. Maybe you could do something about this.

Despite this minor drawback, I highly recommend SPUNK Lube Hybrid. You oughta give it a try.