Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic

Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic —— $39.03

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Hello again. This review is basically a continuation of the Ultra Harness 2000 review we just posted. We decided to review these products together because, well they belong together.”
Kevin: “In the Ultra Harness 2000 review we mentioned that there are a number of different attachments and accessories that you can buy for your harness. Well, the Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic is one such attachment.”
Gina: “This is one gigantic dong, folks! It’s actually scary in its realistic appearance. It even has faux pubic hair. I know, WTF? And this isn’t even the biggest model they make, but I digress.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right; when I pulled this thing out of the box, I went ‘DAMN!’ It’s made of a soft, lifelike material that makes the Kong Realistic look so realistic. But as we learned in the previous review; that comes at a price. The off gas that you smell when you first open the box tells us the materials used in this toy are toxic to some degree. We also suspect that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. This is not necessarily a problem, just so long as you don’t use the thing internally without a condom.”
Gina: “That’s right; use a condom when you play with this thing. Not just for health concerns, but for clean up too. The Kong Realistic is made of a very porous material and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. And you can only use a water-based lube with it.”
Kevin: “So ok, this time around Gina used the harness. The Ultra Harness 2000 we have is designed for a man but she says it fits her too. Attaching the Kong Realistic is easy with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology, which uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness.”
Gina: “The Kong Realistic is so massive I could hardly believe my eyes when I looked at myself in the mirror. No wonder guys with huge dicks think they rule the world.”
Kevin: “I looked at the dong warily too. This would be the biggest thing I’ve had in my ass to date. Would I even be able to do it? I warmed up my ass with a decent sized plug. And when I thought I was ready, I gave Gina the green light. She slipped on a condom and looked at me with an evil gaze.”
Gina: “Ok, are you gonna tell them, or am I?”
Kevin: “Gina’s referring to the qualms I had about the realistic look of the Kong Realistic. I don’t know why this became an issue with me, but it did. I’ve been into my ass for years now. I love butt plugs and I love it when Gina straps one on and pegs me. But in the past all this ass play has been with toys that didn’t look so realistic.”
Gina: “I noticed Kevin’s hesitation and asked him what was wrong. At first I thought it was the size of the Kong Realistic. I realized only after he told me that it was the realistic look of the thing that troubled him.”
Kevin: “I’ll admit, I had a moment of gay panic; so sue me!”
Gina: “We laughed about it afterward, but I certainly appreciate what he was going through. Guys are so funny that way.”
Kevin: “Anyway, once I processed the whole gay thing — it isn’t the shape and size of what ya put up your ass that makes a person gay, it left my mind. Actually, it was a great tada moment. I then thoroughly enjoyed the mighty Kong Realistic in my hole. And I gotta tell you, Gina has become quite the cocksmith; she really knows how to throw a fuck.”
Gina: “Yeah, I want a real dick in my next life.”
Kevin: “Even though I could barely walk after that ass-ult, I did the cleanup. I wiped down the harness and washed the Kong Realistic in warm soapy water, rinsed it thoroughly and left it to air dry. I dusted it with cornstarch and stored it in a plastic bag to keep it from getting all tacky or linty, as this realistic squishy material will do.

Sex Toys & Vibrators

Ultra Harness 2000 For Men

Ultra Harness 2000 For Men —— $80.51

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “We have the hot set up for you! This here is the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men. And I haven’t had so much fun in ages. I know you’ve all heard about strap-ons for women, right? Well this is a strap-on for men. I kid you not!”
Gina: “So you’re probably wondering, why would a guy need a strap-on when he already has his ‘tool’ dangling between his legs. Ever hear of erectile dysfunction? Or say a guy wants to please his partner with a little, or a lot more than what nature gave him. Or say there’s some hot double penetration play in the offing, but only one partner.”
Kevin: “There ya go; took the words right out of my mouth. Actually the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men is a kit. It comes with the three-way fully adjustable all leather harness, which expands up to 44 inches in the waist; a realistic looking 7”x1.75” dildo; and an adjustable or detachable butt plug. They thought of everything.”
Gina: “Although this thing is designed for a man, and they have a version for women, I was able to wear the Ultra Harness 2000 too. But I think it would be cool to get the harness designed for women and decide which I liked best.”
Kevin: “The Ultra Harness 2000 come with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology that uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness. It’s brilliant, really! Plus you can buy an array of attachments and accessories.”
Gina: “Speaking of attachments; we will also be reviewing, the Kong Realistic attachment today too.”
Kevin: “I’m like totally game for new experiences and so even though I don’t have ED, and my cock is a generous size, and Gina is not into double penetration; I strapped on the Ultra Harness 2000 with the dildo that came in the package. You see the harness has a hole in it that you put your own cock and balls through and snap it closed. Then I adjusted the very hefty butt plug and sank it in my ass. This took more time than I expected, because it is considerably bigger than I am used to.”
Gina: “Once he had the whole thing arranged he called me in the room. There he stood with two raging hardons, one of which was dripping precum like crazy. It was a site to behold.”
Kevin: “You can blame the butt plug for all the precum. I was filled to the hilt, so to speak.”
Gina: “We slipped a condom on the dong and Kevin had a ball fucking me with both of his cocks. It was a riot! You should know that I won’t insert a dildo made of this soft material inside me. It’s fun to look at and play with, but I won’t insert it without a condom.”
Kevin: “A condom is a must for any dildo made of this kind of realistic feel material, because this stuff is very porous and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. Oh, and you can only use a water-based lube with this thing.”
Gina: “You should also prepare yourself for the odor that emanates from the box when first opened. It’s a sickly sweet smell that is pretty overpowering. This was another reason that I didn’t want that dong in my box. I insisted that Kevin air the thing out in the garage for a couple of days till the smell dissipated. The off gas tells me the materials used in this toy are probably toxic to some degree. I would also guess that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. So be warned!”
Kevin: “I second that! Too bad this stuff, that feels so flesh-like, has to be made of such dubious material. Once we were finished with our first play session with the Ultra Harness 2000 cleanup began. I un-strapped the harness; slowly pulled out the butt plug; and carried the whole thing to the sink. The butt plug was easier to detach than the dong. I washed them both in warm soapy water, rinsed them thoroughly and left them to air dry. I dusted the dong with cornstarch and stored it in a plastic bag to keep it from getting all tacky or linty, as this realistic squishy material will do. I pretty much decided that the butt plug was too big for me to wear longer than a short while. So if they don’t have smaller sizes available to replace this big one, I’ll just use one of my other. smaller ones next time. The butt plug doesn’t really need to be attached to the harness to provide the stimulation you look for in a plug.”
Gina: “A good time was had by all. And you can’t beat the visuals. It’s pretty amazing.”

Sex Toys & Vibrators

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men

Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men —— $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “We’re back with another butt sex video.  If you remember, last time we reviewed: The Expert Guide to Anal Sex.  I was all bummed out because that video didn’t include men as the receiving partners in anal sex.  How was I supposed to know that there was an entire video in this series that was all about pegging your guy?”
Karen:  “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men is just what we’ve been looking for.”DVDVIVID66
Jack:  “The disc starts out with a tutorial on the subject of male anal stimulation and goes from the anatomy itself through the actual processes involved. And our favorite ass-mistress, Tristan Taormino, is the host of this portion of the film.”
Karen:  “Then there are three sex scenes. The first involves Penny Flame and Devin.  Tristan is there in an advisory role for the opening portion of the scene.  Penny uses her fingers, a butt-plug, and a couple of strap-ons on Devin.  This is the part that interested me the most.”
Jack:  “Annie Cruz and Nomad are up next.  She finger fucks her guy with up to four of them at once.  DAMN!  She also uses a bead-like butt-plug, an even large butt-plug, and a strap-on on him.  Nomad fingers and fucks Annie’s ass with a glass dildo while she jills-off with vibrator.  Very Hot!”
Karen:  “I like the give and take between these two performers.”
Jack:  “The third scene features Jandi Lin and Christian. Christian takes Jandi’s fingers, a metal butt-plug, a glass-like butt-plug and a, curved black prostate stimulator in his ass. Jandi rims him a bit, although not convincingly.  Unfortunately there is no strap-on use here.”
Karen:  “There was a bunch of stuff in this scene that I didn’t like.  They had to do with exchanging bodily fluids, if you know what I mean.  I agree with Jack, the connection between the two performers seemed a little contrived.”
Jack:  “There are also tutorials in the bonus section.  They include; Safer Sex, How to Choose & Wear A Strap-On, Solo Prostate Stimulation—involving the guys from the movie, and Anal Hygiene and Enemas—featuring the gals.  This was just the stuff I had been looking for.  Some may find the tutorials a bit dry, especially if you’re watching this for the porn value.  But I think it’s important stuff to know, particularly for men, like me, who about to make the anal plunge.”
Karen:  “I agree; this is a terrific resource for the novice and the proficient alike.”
Jack:  “Like the last video we reviewed, Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men, is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  But it also goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most straight couples.”
Karen:  “I like how fingers and toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up.  I know from my own experiences with anal sex that this king of play is essential.”
Jack:  “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for couples considering anal sex where the man is on the receiving end.  Thank you Tristan for thinking of us guys!”

The Heartbreaker by XHale Glass

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaftx351 are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

Simply Blown – Love Line

This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.

Gina:  “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties.  Just look at them!  I could hardly contain myself.”
Kevin:  “She gets that way sometimes.”
Gina:  “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?”
Kevin:  “Oh I’m so BUSTED!”
Gina:  “There, I told you.”
Kevin:  “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the
Love Line.  She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.”
Gina:  “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.”
Kevin:  “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!”
Gina:  “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.”product_1
Kevin:  “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.”
Gina:  “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.”
Kevin:  “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys.  I get so fuckin’ hot.  The
Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic.  Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke.  This drove her wild.  And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of.  ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ”
Gina:  “He does love his dirty talk.  I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that.  It sounded so crude.  Now turns me on.  See I’m growing!”
Kevin:  “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows.  I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass.  It’s cool and my ass devours it.”
Gina:  “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him.  He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.”
Kevin:  “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation.  Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug.  It’s a dildo.  A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.”
Gina:  “I stand corrected.”
Kevin:  “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs.  Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.”
Gina:  “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves.  I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.”
Kevin:  “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?”
Gina:  “Sheesh!”
Kevin:  “On our next date with the
Love Line we took our time.  We added some sensation play.  The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled.  We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other.  Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”
Gina:  “These toys are meant to shared.  Because glass is nonporous, cleaning and disinfecting is a snap.  Mild soap and water to clean; a 10% bleach solution, boiling or the dishwasher to disinfect.”
Kevin:  “On our next go at these lovelies; I got to try the big boy, the one Gina had first.  It took some time and some deep breathing but I did it.  Gina helped me relax.  And once I had the gape goin, she plugged my ass but good.”
Gina:  “He is an ass-slut, that’s for damn sure.  See I said ass!”
Kevin:  “Gina liked the petite dildo.  It was easier to hit her G-spot.”
Gina:  “I highly recommend the
Love Line to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo.  You will not be disappointed.”
Kevin:  “And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Simply Blown line, you have nothing to worry about.  But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right.  Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Gina:  “Generally we are able include a retail price and a link to an online store with our reviews.  Unfortunately, we can’t do that this week. Simply Blown is so new a company that you’ll just have to contact them directly and ask for pricing.”

ENJOY

Rachel’s Neoprene Harness

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy:  “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie:  “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”jp229.jpg
Joy:  “I loves me my strap-ons!  I have quite a collection.  Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie:  “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy:  “It is that!  It is also reversible and machine washable.  I love that part.  I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie:  “It’s also fully adjustable.  It would have to be to fit both Joy and I.  We have such different body types.”
Joy:  “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner.  It’s inexpensive, yet practical.  You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this.  She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy:  “You go, Danna!!  Give it to him good.”
Dixie:  “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products.  We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy:  “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone.  See ya in the New Year.”