Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Magic Massager —12 Function, 3 Attachments —— $46.30

Joy
Can you believe it’s 2010 already? I’ve been a Review Crew member for two and a half years. And in that time I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to a load of great products, but also some not so great as well.

Today’s review falls squarely into the great product category. I want to tell you about the Magic Massager from Blush Novelties. This thing is phenomenal. It’s a mini-wand type of vibrator; it’s only about 8 inches long from tip to tail. It’s powered by 4 AA batteries (not included in the package).

One would expect a diminutive vibe like this to carry only 2 AA batteries, right? Well, maybe it’s the two extra batteries, but whatever it is this thing is the strongest vibrator, per inch, I have ever used. It rocks my world, baby!

It features a 12-mode vibration system with a LED control panel. Can ya stand it? I mean, come on; that’s freakin overkill, ain’t it? Honestly, the first time I had the Magic Massagerworking its …ahhh magic on my girly parts, I couldn’t honestly say I got beyond the first 5 modes before I got off TWICE! It’s that great. When I took the time to investigate all the modes, I was able to distinguish between all the vibration functions. There’s this one, #9 I think, that is totally crazy. It feels like the thing is running out of power and just when you think it’s gonna die it come roaring back to life. Loved it! And even when the Magic Massager is rockin out, it’s pretty quiet.

One thing to note, the user has to cycle through all of the modes to get to the one she likes the best. But there is an off button that stops the vibe altogether, which is much appreciated.

The Magic Massager comes with 3 soft and pliable attachments — a dome shape, a flat grooved shape and a beaded shape. The beaded shape is my favorite. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the package about what the attachments are made of. I am pretty sure it’s not silicone. I used a silicone-based lube with it and it appears to be fine. (Note to manufacturer: it’s always a good idea to include information on the materials used in producing the toy. This helps the consumer make an educated decision on if it is right for her/him.)

Besides the vibrating functions and the three attachments, this puppy is waterproof. And anyone who follows my reviews knows I’m all about bringing toys to the bath.

The battery compartment is a bitch to open. I struggled with it till I almost gave up. And you must sure to replace the little clear O-ring properly, or the vibe will not be waterproof.

This is a unisex toy. Boys as well as girls will really have a ball with this. You’ll be hard pressed to find a more powerful and versatile vibe at this low price. It comes in very nice, yet modest packaging. Get one today!

Eve’s Rabbit —— $43.00

Christa

Eve’s Rabbit is freakin wild! It is11 inches long; there’s not one single thing that’s sleek, stylish or girly about it. It weighs in at a hefty 1.5lbs, when loaded with the four AA batteries you need to power this behemoth. (The batteries are not included; so there’s that.) And damn, if this thing doesn’t do everything but mow the lawn. I mean Eve’s Rabbit is a serious industrial strength vibe.

When I want to get off in a hurry, I always choose a rabbit vibe. I need clit stimulation, or fugetaboutit! When I’m gettin my self off with just my hands, I always finger my cunt as I rub my clit. Eve’s Rabbit allows me to fuck myself and get the clit flutter action I desire all at the same time. And get this; there are 4 rotating speeds and 7 vibrating speeds and they work independent of one another, which is kinda cool. It also has a simple on/off switch that brings the thing to rest without having to cycle through all the speed options. I like that.

The control panel is pretty straight forward — on/off button; vibe pattern button and independent speed buttons for increasing and decreasing the speed. The insertable shaft is made of a translucent jelly type of material. In the past, I’ve tended to avoid jelly like materials because of phthalates. But the Eve’s Rabbit package says it’s phthalate free; latex free too. So I guess we’ll just have to trust them on that.

When this thing is chugin away; it’s none too quiet. But considering all that it is doing — rotating and vibrating — you can’t very well expect different. I know some women don’t care for a realistic looking dickhead on their insertables. If you are one such woman, this baby is not for you. For the rest of us who get off on the natural design of things Eve’s Rabbit will satisfy.

Eve’s Rabbit is not waterproof. I clean mine with a lint free cloth and mild soap and warm water.

Looking for a no-nonsense workhorse vibrator that will knock you socks off? Eve’s Rabbit is right for you. If you are looking for subtle, delicate and ladylike you’ll need to look elsewhere.

Wish-Bone Vibrator ——  $25.50

Dixie
I’m doing a solo review today.  My partner, Joy, is working on another review for later in this series.

I have something no nonsense to show you this time around.  It’s about as simple and straightforward as you can get.  It’s the Wish-Bone Vibrator.

I’ve used a lot of vibes in my day.  I think I own nearly two-dozen of them.  Some I’ve used a couple of times and that’s it; I never touch them again.  Others are favorites that I put to very good use frequently.  However, none of them look like the Wish-Bone.  So this little wonder gets high marks for it’s clever design.

Here’s how it works; you put your index finger (I prefer to use my middle finger) through the notch at the top of the vibe.  You finger tip lands on the single button that switches on the vibe and rotates it through its three speeds before coming to off.  That’s it; no bells, no whistles, just solid thoughtful design and construction.

It’s a perfect design.  I love to finger myself when I jill-off.  This extends my finger for effortless fingering.  It’s made of a hard plastic (phthalate-free) that excellently conducts the vibration.  It’s fabulous on my clit.  And if that isn’t enough, the thing is waterproof.  It’s so ideal; I now have the Wish-Bone permanently placed on the ledge of my tub.

And thank you, Doc Johnson, for including the first set of batteries.  That was mighty thoughtful of you.

Looking for a sweet little inexpensive stocking stuffer that will put a smile on a lady friend’s face.  Look no farther than the Wish-Bone.

Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men —— $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “We’re back with another butt sex video.  If you remember, last time we reviewed: The Expert Guide to Anal Sex.  I was all bummed out because that video didn’t include men as the receiving partners in anal sex.  How was I supposed to know that there was an entire video in this series that was all about pegging your guy?”
Karen:  “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men is just what we’ve been looking for.”
Jack:  “The disc starts out with a tutorial on the subject of male anal stimulation and goes from the anatomy itself through the actual processes involved. And our favorite ass-mistress, Tristan Taormino, is the host of this portion of the film.”
Karen:  “Then there are three sex scenes. The first involves Penny Flame and Devin.  Tristan is there in an advisory role for the opening portion of the scene.  Penny uses her fingers, a butt-plug, and a couple of strap-ons on Devin.  This is the part that interested me the most.”
Jack:  “Annie Cruz and Nomad are up next.  She finger fucks her guy with up to four of them at once.  DAMN!  She also uses a bead-like butt-plug, an even large butt-plug, and a strap-on on him.  Nomad fingers and fucks Annie’s ass with a glass dildo while she jills-off with vibrator.  Very Hot!”
Karen:  “I like the give and take between these two performers.”
Jack:  “The third scene features Jandi Lin and Christian. Christian takes Jandi’s fingers, a metal butt-plug, a glass-like butt-plug and a, curved black prostate stimulator in his ass. Jandi rims him a bit, although not convincingly.  Unfortunately there is no strap-on use here.”
Karen:  “There was a bunch of stuff in this scene that I didn’t like.  They had to do with exchanging bodily fluids, if you know what I mean.  I agree with Jack, the connection between the two performers seemed a little contrived.”
Jack:  “There are also tutorials in the bonus section.  They include; Safer Sex, How to Choose & Wear A Strap-On, Solo Prostate Stimulation—involving the guys from the movie, and Anal Hygiene and Enemas—featuring the gals.  This was just the stuff I had been looking for.  Some may find the tutorials a bit dry, especially if you’re watching this for the porn value.  But I think it’s important stuff to know, particularly for men, like me, who about to make the anal plunge.”
Karen:  “I agree; this is a terrific resource for the novice and the proficient alike.”
Jack:  “Like the last video we reviewed, Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men, is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  But it also goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most straight couples.”
Karen:  “I like how fingers and toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up.  I know from my own experiences with anal sex that this king of play is essential.”
Jack:  “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for couples considering anal sex where the man is on the receiving end.  Thank you Tristan for thinking of us guys!”

Smartballs Teneo UNO & DUO —— $34.00 & $44.00

Gina & Kevin
Kevin:  “Smartballs Teneo are Fun Factory’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You know what those are, right?  They are insertable balls that were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). But since men have PC muscles too, I wanted to join in the fun.  In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these babies while they are inserted vaginally or, in my case, anally.”
Gina:  “Smartballs are discreet.  And as Kevin suggests, they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Kevin:  “Remember, the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.  And this is true for both women and men.”
Gina:  “You simply insert the Smartballs Teneo UNO into your vagina.
Kevin:  “Or the Smartballs Teneo DUO into your ass. Or the other way around.”
Gina:  “Each Smartball unit has a finger groove for easy insertion and a tether that makes for easy removal.  You’ll want to use some lube when inserting.  And since these products are made of silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with them.”
Kevin:  “Here’s the special part.  Each Smartball has an inner ball that creates the a sweetest vibration sensation.”
Gina:  “They aren’t as heavy a ball as I am used to, but they are comfortable to wear.  And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  Take them dancing, to the grocery or for a walk in the park.  Every movement gives you pleasure while strengthening your PC muscles.”
Kevin:  “They are extremely durable and easy to clean. You can sterilize them in boiling water or pop ‘em in the dishwasher, which makes the Smartballs Teneo shareable. You can also wipe them down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Or just use soap and warm water for a quick cleanup.”
Gina:  “I like to masturbate with the Smartballs.  My orgasms are more intense, because my vaginal muscles contract around the vibrating balls.  Regular use can also help prevent stress incontinence.”
Kevin:  “And I like to squeeze one off with a ball or two in my ass.  They provide very pleasant prostate stimulation.  And ya never have to change batteries or wait for a recharge.”
Gina:  “We though Smartballs were a bit pricy.  I know LELO makes a set of similar balls using silicone for about the same price as the DUO set.”
Kevin:  “And you may need a few days to get used to these puppies, but once you do; you’ll love them.”
Gina:  “These make ideal gifts for a new mother or a menopausal woman.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, but just because these are designed for a woman, doesn’t mean a man can’t enjoy them.  Take it from me; consider these as ideal gifts for the all the butt pirates on your list too.”

Sweet Pea —— $68.00

Denise

I have the pleasure of introducing you to a luscious little playmate, Sweet Pea, from a fantastic new company in British Columbia, Canada, Eros & Isis.  It’s such a rare find to discover a boutique adult products company.  I am so over the cookie-cutter, mass-produced stuff made of dubious materials that floods the marketplace.  How refreshing to discover a manufacturer with an environmental consciousness.  Long live Eros & Isis!

Sweet Pea is a petite, 3.5” x 2.5”, bulbous headed vibe made of 100% platinum silicone. It’s completely safe and non-toxic, which includes the natural mineral pigment embedded into the silicone to achieve the antique look of their toys.  It is meticulously sculpted, molded and cast by hand to appear as a turn of the century collectible.  It really is unique.  I haven’t seen its like anywhere else.

Sweet Pea features a removable one-speed bullet vibrator that can be replaced or upgraded to any bullet-style unit.  The bullet come packed with batteries, I’m happy to report.  So your first ride is on the house.  You can use Sweet Pea externally, but I prefer it as a pussy plug.  The sculpted base delivers delicious stimulation to my lips and clit.  And it is so soft and comfortable I can wear for an extended time. Very nice!

There’s a bit of a secret to removing bullet vibe from the base for cleanup or when you need to change the batteries.  Simply add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in.  Remember only water-based lube on a beautiful silicone toy like this. Work the lube around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO!  The vibe pops out.

Sweet Pea is just one of the gorgeous Eros & Isis toys and each is available in Gold, Silver, and Jade.  The silicone makes the toys easy to clean with soap and water.  But it also can be sterilized in boiling water or in the dishwasher; sans the vibe, of course.

The packaging is minimal, which is fine.  However, there is one thing I would suggest.  I really believe they need to add some kind of label to their packaging that touts they very special nature of their toys — handmade, nontoxic, 100% premium silicone, etc.  I know you can read about these things on their site and in their beautiful downloadable catalogue.  (Which you absolutely must download!)  But I don’t think that’s nearly enough.  For example, if I were to give Sweet Pea as a gift, I would want the packaging to tell the lucky person I’m giving it to all about the marvelous qualities of this special toy.

Looking for a unique gift for someone very special?  Take my advice and shop at Eros & Isis.

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $39.95

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the other’s history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic Wand before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
Karen:  “Oh and here’s a tip.  You can turn any un-vibrating dildo or insertable into a vibrating one by just bringing the Hitachi in contact with it.  It’s like totally fantastic.”
Jack:  “Since we use the Wand for only external use, we don’t use lube with it.  We mistakenly did it once and it was a bitch to clean up and it makes the handle too freakin slippery.
Karen:  “If you’ve never tried one of these thing, you absolutely need to get one.  It makes the ideal gift for just about anyone.  Because you can use it very effectively on sore muscles.”

Tsunami, Lavender  —— $59.99

Christa

Wow, Dr Dick, you called on me to review a normal toy this time.  What, you couldn’t find any freaky stuff for me?  How odd!

Just kidding.  I know I’m weird and all, but hey, I have my normal moments too.  And the Tsunami is perfect for when I’m being my other self, the small town girl from Indiana.

So here’s the 411 on this amazing little vibe.  It runs on 2 AA-batteries.  Unfortunately, none came in the package.  Hey you guys, some of us are starving students!  Toss us a bone here and include some freakin’ batteries in your package, why don’t cha?

Anyhow, this sweetie is 100% silicone, which is like the only material that I’ll let near my precious pussy.  I gotta have hypoallergenic or forget about it!  I also sometime share my toys with my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex.  He’s this total ass whore.  I’m the first chick he ever had play with his prostate.  Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time.  SHEESH!

You can share silicone toys because you can sterilize them.  I can swish the Tsunami in boiling water for that purpose. I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use.  But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too. Warm water and mild soap is what I use if I’m gonna keep the toy all to my self.

The wicked thing about the Tsunami is that it has 10 fuckin’ vibration modes.  That’s like crazy!  I never had a toy with so many different vibrations.  Luckily, it has an on/off button too, so you don’t have to run through all the modes to get to off.  Much appreciate that!

It’s waterproof too, which is a damn good thing, cuz I can flood the bed when I cum.  The BF thinks this is totally hot, so I like to give him a good show.  Oh, and the vibration is almost all in the curved little tip.  This is perfect for the whole G-spot stim thing.  That’s how I get so wet, BTW!

So do yourself a favor and get one of these for yourself, or your ass whore BF.  If you have one of them.

Alumination — Pink  —— $29.90

Angie
Hello everyone!  So glad to be with you again.  I have the pleasure, both literally and figuratively, of introducing you to Alumination.  It is my first metallic vibe and I like it very much.

It’s about as simple and straightforward a pleasure instrument as possible.  It’s very slim and sleek; it’s made of aluminum; it’s waterproof; and it’s a 3-speed vibrator.  It runs on two AAA-batteries (not included in the package).  It’s not gonna knock your socks off in the power department, but it does get the job done.

One of the best features of an aluminum toy is that it is so heat sensitive.  You can add additional sensations to the vibration by chilling and/or warming the toy.  My favorite is chilling it by dipping it in a dish of ice water for a few moments.  Oh MY!

It’s just 6″ long, maybe 3/4” in diameter.  Like I said, slim and sleek.  It’s very quiet too, which I really appreciate.

Those of you who follow my reviews know that I love a waterproof vibe more than anything.  Bath time is my time and my Alumination has been my companion for several weeks now.  Only had to replace the batteries once.  The battery compartment is easy to open and close, which is a huge plus in my book.

Aluminum is nonporous and hypoallergenic.  Cleanup with mild soap and water; wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution or peroxide.  You can even sterilize it in boiling water for a couple minutes.

The packaging is minimal, but very pretty nonetheless.

Alumination comes in black and gold beside the pink that I have.  If you are considering trying a metallic vibe, I think this is a great place to start.  And considering the under $30 price tag it makes a very nice gift that won’t break the bank.

Awesome Blossom —— $46.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “We have a beauty for you this week.  It’s called Awesome Blossom.”
Joy:  “We are like totally getting into glass insertables.  Six months ago we didn’t own a one.  Now we do though.”
Dixie:  “Yep, we are now the proud owners of three glass dildos.  And they are spectacular.  There is something about glass that really turns my crank.”
Joy:  “Awesome Blossom is made of tempered glass.  If you treat it with respect, as you would any fine adult toy, this thing will last a lifetime.”
Dixie:  “Glass is so practical.  There are no batteries to run down; nothing to recharge.  It’s ready when you are.”
Joy:  “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap.  For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine.  You can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. However, if you’re gonna share your Awesome Blossom or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended.  Slip it into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go.  Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  And we’re all about sharing.”
Joy:  “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our gay-boy friends, that Awesome Blossom makes a wonderful ass play toy too.  You see it has a base on it that will keep it from popping into your pooper.  The base also lets us use it in our harness.  So there’s that!”
Dixie:  “You can either chill or warm this beauty.  And when it comes to lube; any lube will do.  Regardless what kind of lube you choose, just know that a little goes a very long way.”
Joy:  “In our rush to tell you all the features of glass, we have yet to describe Awesome Blossom.  Atop the spiraled, clear-green shaft there is a clear teardrop shaped head.  Inside the head is a three-dimensional image of a flower.  The flower is a kind of wildflower, I would guess.  The kind that blankets a meadow in the spring. It’s really sweet and lovely.”
Dixie:  “The shaft is just over 1″ in diameter.  The head is only a bit larger at about 1 1/4″ in diameter. The whole thing is just under 8” tall. There’s a bit of a curve to the shaft which make it perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.
Joy:  “We LOVE our awesome Awesome Blossom! We both highly recommend this toy.”
Dixie:  “There is only one drawback.  This beautiful, beautiful functional art piece does not come with a storage pouch.  What’s up with that?  It certainly deserves one.  We wrap ours in a towel to keep it safe when it’s not punishing our pussies.  You’ll want to do the same.”
Joy:  “This would make the ideal gift for someone special.”