Rude Boy


Rude Boy $79.00

Lookie here lads! I have something that’ll put a smile on your face, a song in your heart and, most importantly, some BIG joy in your bum. Allow me to introduce you to my new BFF — Rude Boy. Just when you thought the women folk had a monopoly on all the vibratin’ fun along comes this little fella.

Hey, wait a minute! Why are people sending me all these things to stuff in my hole? Oh, I know.c917.jpg

  • It’s because my butt is my friend.
  • It has as many pleasurable nerve endings as my cock.
  • Prostate massage is good for me.
  • And my ass needs some lovin’ too.

Yes siree, my friends, if you’re lookin for just the right thing that’ll start you down the road to years of prostate pleasure and health; Rude Boy is just the thing for you.

Now don’t get me wrong. When I say I enjoy some stimulation down below, I’m not talkin’ massive insertions. No, I like it subtle. I have nothing against someone pummeling his or her poop-chute with an object that could easily pass for a floor lamp. To each his own! But for me, a little goes a very long way. I prefer to savor, not gorge. That’s way I like Rude Boy. Think of it as a fine aged Merlot for your ass.

Let’s start with appearances. Some guys don’t go in for the butt play thing, because some of the products on the market have a fussy, over-stylized look to them. Not Rude Boy! There’s nothing girly about it. It’s real manly lookin’ from its soft black medical grade silicone shaft with the upward curve, to its classy chrome tip. It’s as handsome as it is functional. Why, you could leave this sonofabitch lyin around the garage or workshop and no one would be the wiser. It looks like the kinda thing ya use to change out the spark plugs.

Rude Boy ‘s smooth shaft is of modest girth (about 1” in diameter). Just about the same size and the knuckle on your thumb (unless you have freakishly small fingers). This makes for effortless insertion even for a beginner. The shank is angled so that when fully inserted its soft tip makes love to your prostate. The tiny silicone cleats on its flared end land smack-dab against your taint (perineum). And the smart bullet end nuzzles your nuts. It’s like three toys in one!

But there’s more. The thing sings…or should I say vibrates. Depress the silicone nub on the bullet and this puppy comes to life. It’s so perfect. (Note: Rude Boy runs on one of those small flat watch batteries. The first one is included. But if you are smart, you will stock up on batteries. You don’t want it runnin’ out of juice mid-diddle, if ya know what I mean.)

And here’s a really big plus in my book — Rude Boy is brilliantly quiet. Believe me, there’s nothing I hate more than to have a discreet pleasure session ruined by a vibe noisy enough to wake the dead. What are some of these manufacturers thinking?

I began my first session lying on my back. I used water-based lube (the only kind of lube to use with ac123.jpg silicone toy) to grease me up inside. This is absolutely essential for all ass play; but you know that already, huh? For this purpose, I recommend a Lube Shooter (C123). You can’t go wrong with one of these doohickeys. It makes gettin the lube deep inside your hole more manageable. I added a nice coat of lube to the Rude Boy shank and presto; it easily slips into place. You’ll wonder how you lived so long without one of these things pluggin your ass.

I gave my innards a few moments to adjust to the insertion before I switched on the vibe. The cleats on my taint and the soft shaft lodged in my bunghole massaged my prostate both inside and out. Jeez Louise, this was fuckin’ amazing. I got to my knees and then sat back on my haunches. This was the ideal position for me. The pleasure was very intense (in a good way) so I just leaned back and marveled at the ooze of precum bubbling from my rigid johnson. And the chrome tip tickled my nuts in the most delightful way.

Remember, not everyone has the same internal anatomy, so you may find that a little manual manipulation is necessary to direct Rude Boy so it’ll settle into precisely the right position for you.

While Rude Boy is designed to pleasure your bum for an extended period of time, it is not a traditional butt plug. For starters, there is no notch on Rude Boy’s shank for you sphincter to lock on to. Depending on your expectations, this may or may not be a good thing. Keeping Rude Boy in place, especially when it’s slick with lube, can be a challenge. But doing so will work your PC muscles like crazy. And everyone knows what a good thing that it, right? Since Rude Boy won’t lock in place, rockchick.jpgso to speak, without that traditional notch; you do have the freedom to adjust its position as frequently as you want for just the right amount of sensations you need.

Rude Boy ‘s unique hands free design enables you to sit and rock at the same time you stroke and tug on your balls. You’ll love it! Try a little edging while Rude Boy is in place. You will be amazed by the amount of spooge you shoot when you finally cum.

My second ride on Rude Boy was in the bathtub. That’s a right, sex fans, this little marvel is fully submersible. Imagine all the fun you’ll have this summer in the pool or at the beach. 😉

And ladies, no need to get all envious of Rude Boy, because the same folks who developed it makes Rock Chick just for you.

ENJOY

SHARE by Fun Factory


SHARE by Fun Factory  — $124.00

Whoa sex fans, look what the folks at Fun Factory sent me!

What we have here is what they call SHARE. It’s big, it’s shareable and it is oh so purple (also comesshare.jpeg in black and pink). It is also pretty fuckin’ revolutionary, don’t cha know, but more about that in a minute.

Once I had this baby in my hands, I knew for certain that I would be hard pressed to review this device on my own. I’d have to find someone, configured slightly different than myself, if ya catch my drift. I simply don’t have the right parts to put this amazing apparatus through its paces and to review it properly.

When faced with a situation like this, I inevitably turn to my best gal pal, my #1 friend of the lesbian persuasion — Joy. Those who visit Dr Dick Sex Advice often probably already have heard me speak of Joy. For those of you who don’t visit here often, you’ve missed out. Ya see; Joy is my go-to person for all things vaginal. Not only does she have her very own pussy, she sure as hell knows her way around other pussies as well.

I rang her up the other day and told her she needed to rush right over. She wanted to know what was up. I told her it was toy review time. She said, “Ho hum! Another prostate stimulator?” I said, “No way, girlfriend, it’s a strapless strap-on!” I could practically hear her mind straining to wrap around that oxymoron. “Say what?” “You heard me. You gotta check this out; you’re not gonna believe your eyes.”

I happen to know that my pal, Joy, is a strap-on kinda dyke. Some lesbians aren’t, and I’m like totally OK with that. I also happen to know that Joy, bein’ the big gal she is, has had a hard time finding a comfortable strap-on harness that fits properly and does not bind or crimp. (I hear from a lot of women who like the idea of a strap-on, but find them too confining and uncomfortable.) Even when Joy found a relatively comfortable harness, it still cramped her style. She told me that she just figured that this was the price a chick paid for the pleasure of pluggin’ someone like a guy.

All the traditional difficulty and discomfort of a harness strap-on vanish with the truly revolutionary SHARE. I kid you not. Joy immediately realized this remarkable toy’s potential. Once she laid eyes on this purple wonder, she proclaimed with delight; “Damn, if this don’t give you all the privilege of a penis without devaluing a vagina.” Leave it to Joy to sum things up in a single sentence.

For those of you who have yet to figure this out, just by lookin at this marvel, SHARE is a wearable double dildo made of 100% medical-grade Silicone. This is surely a toy for two.

Check it out, the vagina ownin’ partner inserts the shorter, more bulbous end into her who-ha. The shape of this insertable part is sure to stimulate her G-spot, don’t cha know. But that’s not all; there is an upward curve to the protruding cock-end of this device that’ll sure enough wind up smack-dab on your clit once the bulbous insert is in place. But wait, there’s more!

Once the vagina owin’ partner has the bulbous end of SHARE properly situated in her pussy; she now has an ample 6+ inches of veiny cock to pretty much use as would any proud owner of a real schlong. And that, my friends, is about some of the best news I’ve heard in quite some time.

Kudos to the Fun Factory folks for coming up with this amazing design. I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that SHARE was invented by a woman or women. I just can’t see a man, even a cool, with it, female pleasin’ kinda dude puttin’ 2 and 2 together to make somethin’ this remarkable. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

Anyhow, back to Joy and her toy. Since I wasn’t about to hand over this treasure without something in return; I told Joy that I wanted a blow-by-blow description of her usage. She was to spare me none of the gory details. “It’s a deal!” She said as she sashayed out the door.

It was only a matter of hours till I received the first bulletin. Joy wanted to remind me to tell you that ya can only use water-based lube with a silicone toy like this. Good point! Silicone-based lubes will dissolve your silicone toys.

Next, she said that having the SHARE implanted in her pussy was like nothing else she’d ever experienced. She said there was no comparison to her strap-on. “With a traditional strap-on, you have something ON you — comfortable or not. With the SHARE, you have something IN you. And that makes all the difference in the world.” She continued; “I now understand why men swagger about when they parade around with a hardon. As I walked around with my big purple weenie swingin’ out in front of me, I could feel it rooted inside me. As it bounced it stimulated my G-spot and clit.”

share.jpg

She did say that the new sensations — the protruding cock and the fullness inside her took some getting used to. She said she discovered the SHARE really worked her PC muscles, which is an added and unanticipated benefit. She couldn’t wait to pound her GF and then flip-flop for a reciprocal pounding BY her. You go girls!

A couple days later, I got the entire low-down. Joy was full of superlatives — awesome, amazing, and cocky were some of the words she used. “The GF and I never felt so close. One thing though, while I had no problem inserting the “wearer’s” end in me; Barbara did. It’s a pretty hefty girth. But then again, she’s just a little thing!” “OK, thanks for sharing,” I responded. “Well you told me not to spare you the gory details, remember?” I had to chuckle.

Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your SHARE, or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended. Drop the item into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go again. Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up. That’s what’s so great about silicone. Undoubtedly, it costs a bit more, but it is sooo worth it.

One final word. Just in case some of you need this spelled out for you; the SHARE is the ideal toy for your average straight couple too. You don’t have to be queer to take delight in switching roles. And ladies, won’t your man be surprised when he climbs in bed, pulls back the covers to gaze upon your loveliness only to discover that you have a big purple (black or pink) cock protruding from your pussy.

Pegging your man’s ass, like the bitch he is, has never been so fun and easy. No straps! No harness! Simply insert your part in you and tap his booty till your heart’s content!

ENJOY

Turbo Stroker

Hey sex Fans!

We need to get one thing straight from the get-go.  This product is not a penis pump even though the website suggest that it is!

I know a little something about penis pumps.  Penis pumps are my friends.  But this, sir, is no penis pump! 

Ok, then what the hell is it?  So glad you asked.  This here is a glorified masturbator.  And I do mean glorified, because is has these bells and whistles that are supposed to make strokin’ your dick more of a mind-bending pleasure.  Alas, I’m afraid that the Stroker is only partially successful in fulfilling that goal.

The Waterproof Turbo Stroker ($89.00) is a handsome lookin’ device — nice appealing shape, sleek lines.  It even has four LED lit buttons at the top of the cylinder that indicates the varying vibration speeds and amount of stroking action.  This has such an appealing look, if your left it out on your kitchen counter top, everyone would think it was one of those handy little blender/mixers that are all the rage these days.

Here’s what I like about the Waterproof Turbo Stroker besides its appearance.

  1. I liked the phthalates free silicone sleeve.  It was snug on my dick and the beaded surface was a nice little bonus.  However, if I think the folks who designed the Stroker should have made the cylinder and insert longer.  Anyone with more than an average endowment will feel cramped.  I know I did.  And I ain’t no king kong, if ya catch my drift.
  2. I really liked the way the device disassembles for easy cleaning.  You can pop the cylinder and insert in the dishwasher for effortless clean up.
  3. I liked that the top of the Stroker unscrewed for easy battery replacement.  One can easily take out the battery pack when the device is not in use.  This will increase the life of the batteries (4-AA, not included).
  4. The vibrating action is only pretty ok, but nothing to write home about.  What one does get is a lot of noise.  This is where it really resembles a kitchen gadget.

Here’s what I didn’t like about the Waterproof Turbo Stroker.

  1. The stroking action is a joke!  In fact, there’s no real stroking going on here at all.  There is this little plunger type thing that comes down from the top of the unit, which makes this pathetic up-and-down motion that sort of jiggles the silicone sleeve a bit.  At all three speeds the “action” was way more annoying then it was erotic.
  2. If ya try to use both the vibration and the “stroking” action at the same time and at the highest speeds, it sounds like it’s gonna take off.  Better get some ear plugs!
  3. This thing is very expensive considering how ineffective it is.
  4. I thought the manufacturer should have included the first set of batteries.  I wouldn’t have had to scramble all over the house to find 4-AA batteries just to do the review.

In the end, since I had my dick in the thing and the thing was in my hand, I decided to turn off the stroking action (completely useless) and use only the first speed on vibration action (so I could hear myself think dirty thoughts) and leisurely stroked myself as nature intended.  It was a pleasant enough experience; not fabulous, but pleasant enough.  I kept thinking, I wonder if I could whip eggs with this thing.

If you want to know the truth, and I think you should…once I finished testing the Stroker for this review, I shut the thing off.  I took the silicone sleeve off the cylinder, held the sleeve in my hand and reinserted my willie.  Ahhh, much better!  I finished my leisurely stroking session using only my hand and the sleeve.  And ya know what?  It was the best part of the whole experience.

There are plenty of other much cheaper alternatives to the Waterproof Turbo Stroker in the marketplace…maybe not as pretty, but definitely less expensive.  If I were to advise the manufacturer I’d suggest they keep the swell design, lose the “stroking action,” improve on the vibrating action and make it a whole lot more quiet.  Then they’d have a really great product.

Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager

Sex Fans,

Allow me to introduce you to a handy little vibrating plug that’ll surely put a smile on your face, Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager (C554). This unisex toy will jazz up whatever spot you got — G-Spot or P-Spot. Since I’m a proud owner of a P-Spot (prostate), I’ll do my testifyin’ from that particular pew. I’ll let all you G-Spot owners come to your own conclusions.c554.jpg

This here Pandora massager is the perfect utensil for the novice ass raider. Not overly familiar with things pokin’ you in the be-hind? Not to worry, this smooth ergonomic slim-jim will enter with ease. Guys who are used to having big toys in their rosebud will probably be unimpressed with this beginner’s model, but the rest of us will appreciate its modest size.

Anyhow, Pandora has everything you’d expect in a plug. Plus it has this swell hooked end that is designed to hit the spot, if ya catch my drift. And there’s a bonus; it vibrates too. Not all butt plugs do, ya know. There are seven, count them, seven different speeds and pulsations, which makes that little soft hooked end thingy do a happy dance on your P-Spot (or G-Spot). And boy if that don’t make you see the light, nothin’ will.

There is nothing overpowering about this little bugger. Its vibration/pulsation is sweet and gentle, just the thing for the anal-lovin’ trainee. I encourage you to take your time getting to know all the different speeds and pulsations. I found that if I allowed the Zen like vibrations to build as I moved through the different sensations, rather than just throwin’ it into high gear from the get go, there was more joy to be had. Vibration control is found at the base of the unit.

The quality wireless Japanese motor is super quiet. It runs on 3 of them flat watch batteries. But don’t worry; your first rides are free. This puppy is already loaded with batteries and is ready to get at ya right out of the package.

And here’s a tip. Once you get used to having this discreet pleasure puppy in your bum, you can just leave it there for an extended time. That’s the beauty part of a plug’s flared end. You’ll never have to worry that it will go missing up your chute. Imagine how this little number will make you feel as you wisk your way through all your humdrum household chores. And you can bank on that!

ENJOY

I Rub My Duckie Vibe & Vibratex Rabbit Habit

Name: Betty
Age: 22
Location: Fremont CA
I think my roommate is a lesbian. She hasn’t come right out and said so and I don’t know how to ask. Her birthday b367.jpgis coming up and I thought I would get her a sexy toy or something to let her know that it’s ok to talk to me about sex and stuff. Do you think I should get her a dildo? What kind of dildos do lesbians like?

Jeez Betty, how the fuck should I know what lesbians like? I’m pretty well versed on most things sexual, but even I am at a loss when it comes to the mind of a lesbian. I just put in a call to my favorite lesbiaterian, the magnificent Diana, for the 411 on toys for dykes and dyke wannabees.

If you don’t want to be too provocative in your gift giving, Diana suggests you start out with a — I Rub My Duckie Vibe

  • These floating, waterproof little guys sit by your bath, jacuzzi, or bed with nothing more than those big innocent blue eyes to give away their real purpose in life!
  • Squeeze their backs and watch your smile grow as they seduce you and massage your tensions away. Waterproof On-Off Switch. Strong but quiet motor. Requires two AA batteries b193.jpg(included).

If you really want to pitch your friend an unambiguous message, Diana suggests a —

Vibratex Rabbit Habit (B193)

  • This vibrator does everything! It has three functions. The shaft gyrates and is bendable with a wire inside to keep its angle. Mid-way down, there’s a capsule of pea-sized pearls that rotate around the shaft for an undulating/ripple effect. And the bunny vibrates for clitoral stimulation.

If this doesn’t do the trick, Betty, nothing will.

Good luck