Sexercise ME

Sexerciseball (alone)    $79.00

Micka Butt Plug (package)    $169.00

Precious (package)        $169.00

Hey Sex Fans!

Ya know what I like?  I like it when someone has the balls to put novel back into novelty.   That’s what I like.  And boy-oh-boy have I discovered a truly novel novelty.

Allow me to introduce you to the Sexerciseball.  I mean really, who woulda thunk?  Apparently the good people at SexerciseMe (those wacky folks from down under) have the BALLS…literally and figuratively.

Anyone who has spent even a few hours in a gym in the past 10 years will immediately recognize sexerciseball.jpgthe Sexerciseball…well at least the big round ball part of it.  That’s right, it’s one of them blasted exercise thingies that your personal trainer makes you do crunches on and leg lifts with.

If you’ve actually been forced to use one of these muthers, ya know to tone your abs and tighten you ass, as I have.  Then you’ll appreciate the subversively clever re-purposing of this torture device into an apparatus of sheer pleasure.

My hat is off to the folks at SexerciseMe.  I was just thinking to myself, what kind of a feverishly demented mind conjure up a clever concept like this?  One thing for sure, the mind that was responsible for this wasn’t focused on his/her exercises, that’s for damned sure.

I wonder, was he/she sweating his/her tits off, workin’ her glutes or his abs when the ta-daa moment hit?  How deliciously perverse!  Regardless how it happened, we are all the happy beneficiaries.

So here’s the lowdown.  The Sexerciseball is an actual anti-burst 65cm exercise ball, just like the ones you find in the gym.  It even has decals on it demonstrating some of the swell exercises you can do with it.  But this particular ball has a secret compartment.  The compartment is cleverly disguised by a color-coded screw cap that will fool everyone into thinking you’ve finally gotten serious about fitness.  But the joke’s will be on them, don’t cha know!

Unscrew the cap and replace it with one of the four available vibrating sex toys and you got yourself a top shelf pleasure provider.  So that when you play, alone or with others, you’ll have that all-important “bounce that counts” that will add to the fun.

Dr Dick had the pleasure of testing two of the available vibrating sex toys — The Micka Butt Plug and Precious.  Not one to hog all the fun for myself, I decided to share my good fortune with a friend.  Brad is a personal trainer with a knockout body and a wicked sense of humor.  He took to the Sexerciseball like a pig to shit!

In fact, Brad was so eager to take the Micka Butt Plug for a ride, that he didn’t let me finish micka-with-package.jpgpointing out all the joys to be had.  Ok, I thought to myself, let’s do it his way.  I screwed the Micka Butt Plug attachment into the ball and stood back.  Brad’s muscled ass devoured the plug and he began to bounce and wiggle.

What Brad didn’t know was that the Mika vibrates and I held the wireless remote control in my hand.  While he was distracted grinding his ass cheeks into the ball, I hit the “on” button.  I though Brad was gonna go through the roof.  He let out a yelp and flew off the ball.  He tumbled to the floor, his gym shorts in a twist around his ankles.  It was hysterical.  I figured this was pay back time for all the torture he puts his clients through on regular exercise ball.

Once Brad knew the sucker vibrated he was ready for another go.  Only this time he held the remote control.  It was a sight to behold.  I just sat there in utter amazement as this hunky stud got his freak on.  He rotated through the 6 vibe and pulse modes and groaned with mounting lust.  Then shot a wad of spunk over his shoulder and on to the oriental carpet.  DAMN that was amazing!  But who’s gonna clean that up?

Precious was next.  There was no way I was gonna sit down on the 6×5 cock shaped dildo, because I didn’t have to and no one was gonna make me.  So there!

However, using one of the decal exercise diagrams on the ball as an example, I laid down on my precious-with-package-v2.jpgback with the ball between me and the wall.  I wrapped my legs around the ball, lifted the ball and positioned Precious so it landed on my taint (perineum) just behind my balls.  I flipped on the remote and worked the vibrator through its 6 different vibe/pulse modes.  Using my legs, I was able to roll the ball down and closer, then up and farther away.  I squeezed my legs together with Precious between my manly thighs and enjoyed the show.

I discovered that by doing this I was working my PC muscles, which is a bonus.  I figure, if you can get some health benefits with your diddle, it’s better than diddling without!

I tried several other positions before returning to the original, on my back, position for the big finish.  In no time at all I was to the point of no return, so I just let loose and had a heart-thumping orgasm.  Luckily, I had the good sense to put down a towel before I started so that I would spare my carpet another indignity.

One of the really great things about the Sexerciseball is that it’s so freakin versatile.  And two can play just as well as one.

Brad and I both enjoyed ourselves immeasurably.  He was certain he’d invest in a Sexerciseball for use with his “private” personal training clients.  I can see it all now!

newvibratoroffer.jpg

To wrap thing up I want to give you a heads-up on some important details.

  • If you decide to purchase one of these marvels, look for the package deals.  They are your best buy option.  The packages come with the insert of your choice and everything else (including the ball) that you’ll need.
  • Happily, your first ride is FREE!  A set of batteries is included when you buy a package deal.
  • I still suggest that you stock up on batteries, because you’re gonna need ‘em. You’re gonna have so much fun, you’ll need to replace the 5 AAA batteries regularly.  And here’s a tip:  don’t leave the battery pack in the vibrator insert between play sessions.  The batteries will go dead over night if you do.
  • Use only water-based lube in your play.
  • Be careful — things will get mighty slippery once you get the lube goin’.  If you lose your balance on the ball and one of the inserts is up your ass or in your pussy, you could get hurt.
  • Inserts are made of Thermal Plastic Rubber, which is odorless, hygienic and phthalate free.
  • The inserts are NOT immersible. But clean up is easy with soap and warm water.

Remember, the vibrating inserts can be used independently of the ball, which doubles their versatility.  Of course, the ball can be used as a stand-alone exercise ball too.  But who in the world would want to do that.  I mean, if your personal trainer isn’t forcing you to do it; why bother, right?  😉

Finally, you know how I always give extra points to products that are cleverly designed.  This Aussie invention gets those extra points for sure.  But I’m also gonna add even more points because they’ve gone out of their way to create a sex toy that you can hide in plain site.  And that, sex fans, makes my day.

ENJOY

WE-Vibe

WE-Vibe ——  $129.95

Hey Sex Fans,

Allow me to introduce you to Gina, the newest member of Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew. She’s 24,d232.jpg she’s smart as a whip and she’s working on her master’s degree in social work. She’s vivacious, outgoing, fun loving and charming as all get-out. She describes herself as a sex-positive feminist, but she also confesses to being somewhat shy and not all that knowledgeable about sexual things.” “I guess I’m your average recovering Catholic girl who knows there a whole world out there just waiting to be discover.”

Gina comes to us by way of my friend Kevin. Do you remember Kevin? He helped me review the Aneros products some weeks back. (Look for “Kevin” in the Category Section) In fact, that’s how Gina and I first met. She was totally blown away when Kevin, rather nonchalantly, turned her on to my site and the review. Unbeknownst to her, her straight-as-an-arrow BF lost his ass cherry the day he helped me with that review. Apparently, this was his way of signaling Gina that he was up for trying new things, so to speak. Well, I guess that’s one way of doing it!

Gina told me she was floored when she read the review. She knew Kevin was more sexually adventurous than she, but this came as a complete surprise nonetheless. She also confessed to being a bit envious of his daring and more than a little turned on by his newly found pleasure center in his bum.

Once I knew Gina was game for a little experimentation herself, I knew I had found just the right person (couple) to review the ever-so-popular WE-Vibe. She and Kevin graciously accepted my invitation and off they went to “work” on their review.

Before we hear back from the two lovebirds, let’s take a closer look at this amazing device.

To say the WE-Vibe is unique is an understatement. It’s downright revolutionary. This insertable vibrator, crafted of medical grade silicone (no phthalates), is the first of its kind G-spot stimulator that can actually be used while fucking. That’s right, you heard me! The WE-Vibe is hands free, strap free and wireless! Once in place this discreet little wonder (3.25 inches long and 1 inch wide, weighing only 2 ounces) creates both internal and external stimulation during partner play; so both partners will experience the thrill, don’t cha know.

we-vibe-hands-free-dual-vibrator.jpgThis is such a big deal for Dr Dick because I am forever hearing from women who are not receiving nearly enough stimulation during the old in and out. Their partners, of course, get off big time; but they are often left unsatisfied. They’re timid about stimulating themselves during the hump and they would never think of incorporating a traditional sized vibrator for fear it might alienate their man. It breaks my heart to hear stuff like that, but I do understand their predicament.

Now, thanks to the WE-Vibe, women folk don’t have to settle for less than the stimulation they want and need. Nor will they need to incorporate an invasive vibrator to get it. The We-Vibe is soft, waterproof and conforms to the female shape, making it comfortable and easy to use. It also has two speeds. And like I said, the men folk will really get off on it too. It’s a win-win situation all-round!

There’s one more terrific feature I want to point out before we get back to Gina and Kevin. The We-Vibe is rechargeable! I don’t know about you, but I await the day when all toys are rechargeable. Since I’ve started doing these reviews, my battery budget has gone through the roof. Naturally I am worried about the expense, but my overriding concern is for the environment. All these dead batteries are downright wasteful, as well as being a pollutant. It’s enough to give Al Gore (and me) a freakin coronary. A word to all toy manufactures — DO THE GREEN THING; make your products rechargeable!

I next see Gina and Kevin a week after our last meeting. Both of them sport one of those goofy freshly-fucked smiles. They can’t keep their hands off one another as they squirm and coo to each other on my couch. I’d like to just slap them both! One look at their faces and I know the We-Vibe played a big part in putting those ridiculous grins on their faces.

Dr Dick: “So kids, how was it? Or do I even need to ask?”
Gina: “It was great, Dr Dick! We had a ball. We used the WE-Vibe several times. And each time was wonderful.”
Dr Dick: Ya don’t say! “Ok, then walk me through it, as it were.”
Kevin: “We wanted to jump right in there just as soon as we got home after you gave us the toy.”
Gina: “Yeah, but then we read the instructions and discovered you have to charge the internal battery for 24 hrs first.”
Dr Dick: “That must have been a let down.” I add. They both agree.

Apparently this 24 hr hiatus only stoked the fires of their youthful ardor. Cum the next day, there was no holding back.

Gina: “We also learned another important lesson in our rush to get the fun started. You see these little dimples on the bottom here? They are the on/off/2-speed switches. We discovered that they are almost impossible to manipulate once the WE-Vibe is lubed up and in place.”
Dr Dick: “Ahhh, good point! So what did you do?”
Kevin: “Basically, we had to start over. I have to tell you; this wasn’t doing anything for my hardon. Gina removed the thing from her vagina; we wiped off the lube, turned the thing on; added more lube and reinserted.”
Dr Dick: “You guys are fuckin’ rocket scientists! So then what?”
Gina: “We had great sex!” Some of the best sex ever. I know we were like all primed for a real good go, but the WE-Vibe was amazing. I was more easily orgasmic with this thing inside me. And it’s so quiet; even on the high speed.”
Kevin: “I really got off on it too.” It was such a unique sensation. My cock was being stimulated while inside Gina. “I could feel it all the way in my balls. It was awesome!”
Dr Dick: Never fear, my dear, you secrets are safe with me. I mean, who would I tell anyway?”
Gina: “Since the WE-Vibe is waterproof we tried it another time in the bath.”
Kevin: “Yeah, that was hot.”
Dr Dick: “Ya don’t say!”
Kevin: “Yeah, I really got off on doin’ it doggie style. That was the best for me!”
Gina: “Hey, I thought we weren’t going to get too specific.”

We were winding up our debriefing session when Kevin spoke up.we-vibe-flexible-dual-action-vibrator.jpg

Kevin: “Actually we have one more thing to report.”
Dr Dick: “Really? Do tell.”
Gina: “This is so embarrassing.”
Kevin: “It is not. It’s perfectly normal.”
Dr Dick: “OK kids, out with it!”
Gina: “After our third use together, Kevin rolled over on his side and asked me if I would mind him using the WE-Vibe himself. At first I didn’t get it. I thought he wanted to share OUR toy with someone else. I think he noticed the disappointed look on my face and said; ‘What?’”
Kevin: “Yeah, it was at that moment that I realized Gina didn’t have a clue. So I had to spell it out for her. I told her that I wanted to use the WE-Vibe in my ass.”
Gina: “I didn’t know what to say. I was flabbergasted. He told me that he never had anything that vibrated in his bottom and he wanted to see how that felt.”
Kevin: “I’m sure I said my ass; not my ‘bottom’.”
Gina: “Whatever! At any rate, I stammered my way to ‘OK, I guess so!’ And that’s all it took. In a flash Kevin disappeared into the bathroom with the WE-Vibe. He cleaned it up with some soap and water and was back in bed before I knew it. You want me to stay while you do it?”
Kevin: “Of course I did! I wanted her to stay; in fact I wanted her to join in. This took some negotiation, but I finally got my way.”
Dr Dick: “You men are all alike!”
Gina: “As it turns out, I wasn’t freaked out at all. In fact, I got so turned on by watching him squirm with pleasure. He wanted me to stick a finger in his bottom. And I even did that. I don’t think we had ever been closer.”
Kevin: “While I was laying on my back with the WE-Vibe in my ass, I had a raging boner. Gina was right there fingering me and she was wet like crazy. So I told her to get on top of me. She rode my cock like there was no tomorrow.”
Gina: “It’s true; it was totally wild. I swear I could feel the vibration with him inside me.”
Kevin: I love her for helping me out, for being so understanding, for indulging me my little kink.”

Well there you have it, sex fans. Thanks to Gina and Kevin we discover that the WE-Vibe is a whole lot more versatile than we first thought. Kudos to both my reviewers for being so creative, open-minded and for their ability to see pleasurable potential where no one had looked before.

ENJOY

SHARE by Fun Factory


SHARE by Fun Factory  — $124.00

Whoa sex fans, look what the folks at Fun Factory sent me!

What we have here is what they call SHARE. It’s big, it’s shareable and it is oh so purple (also comesshare.jpeg in black and pink). It is also pretty fuckin’ revolutionary, don’t cha know, but more about that in a minute.

Once I had this baby in my hands, I knew for certain that I would be hard pressed to review this device on my own. I’d have to find someone, configured slightly different than myself, if ya catch my drift. I simply don’t have the right parts to put this amazing apparatus through its paces and to review it properly.

When faced with a situation like this, I inevitably turn to my best gal pal, my #1 friend of the lesbian persuasion — Joy. Those who visit Dr Dick Sex Advice often probably already have heard me speak of Joy. For those of you who don’t visit here often, you’ve missed out. Ya see; Joy is my go-to person for all things vaginal. Not only does she have her very own pussy, she sure as hell knows her way around other pussies as well.

I rang her up the other day and told her she needed to rush right over. She wanted to know what was up. I told her it was toy review time. She said, “Ho hum! Another prostate stimulator?” I said, “No way, girlfriend, it’s a strapless strap-on!” I could practically hear her mind straining to wrap around that oxymoron. “Say what?” “You heard me. You gotta check this out; you’re not gonna believe your eyes.”

I happen to know that my pal, Joy, is a strap-on kinda dyke. Some lesbians aren’t, and I’m like totally OK with that. I also happen to know that Joy, bein’ the big gal she is, has had a hard time finding a comfortable strap-on harness that fits properly and does not bind or crimp. (I hear from a lot of women who like the idea of a strap-on, but find them too confining and uncomfortable.) Even when Joy found a relatively comfortable harness, it still cramped her style. She told me that she just figured that this was the price a chick paid for the pleasure of pluggin’ someone like a guy.

All the traditional difficulty and discomfort of a harness strap-on vanish with the truly revolutionary SHARE. I kid you not. Joy immediately realized this remarkable toy’s potential. Once she laid eyes on this purple wonder, she proclaimed with delight; “Damn, if this don’t give you all the privilege of a penis without devaluing a vagina.” Leave it to Joy to sum things up in a single sentence.

For those of you who have yet to figure this out, just by lookin at this marvel, SHARE is a wearable double dildo made of 100% medical-grade Silicone. This is surely a toy for two.

Check it out, the vagina ownin’ partner inserts the shorter, more bulbous end into her who-ha. The shape of this insertable part is sure to stimulate her G-spot, don’t cha know. But that’s not all; there is an upward curve to the protruding cock-end of this device that’ll sure enough wind up smack-dab on your clit once the bulbous insert is in place. But wait, there’s more!

Once the vagina owin’ partner has the bulbous end of SHARE properly situated in her pussy; she now has an ample 6+ inches of veiny cock to pretty much use as would any proud owner of a real schlong. And that, my friends, is about some of the best news I’ve heard in quite some time.

Kudos to the Fun Factory folks for coming up with this amazing design. I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that SHARE was invented by a woman or women. I just can’t see a man, even a cool, with it, female pleasin’ kinda dude puttin’ 2 and 2 together to make somethin’ this remarkable. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

Anyhow, back to Joy and her toy. Since I wasn’t about to hand over this treasure without something in return; I told Joy that I wanted a blow-by-blow description of her usage. She was to spare me none of the gory details. “It’s a deal!” She said as she sashayed out the door.

It was only a matter of hours till I received the first bulletin. Joy wanted to remind me to tell you that ya can only use water-based lube with a silicone toy like this. Good point! Silicone-based lubes will dissolve your silicone toys.

Next, she said that having the SHARE implanted in her pussy was like nothing else she’d ever experienced. She said there was no comparison to her strap-on. “With a traditional strap-on, you have something ON you — comfortable or not. With the SHARE, you have something IN you. And that makes all the difference in the world.” She continued; “I now understand why men swagger about when they parade around with a hardon. As I walked around with my big purple weenie swingin’ out in front of me, I could feel it rooted inside me. As it bounced it stimulated my G-spot and clit.”

share.jpg

She did say that the new sensations — the protruding cock and the fullness inside her took some getting used to. She said she discovered the SHARE really worked her PC muscles, which is an added and unanticipated benefit. She couldn’t wait to pound her GF and then flip-flop for a reciprocal pounding BY her. You go girls!

A couple days later, I got the entire low-down. Joy was full of superlatives — awesome, amazing, and cocky were some of the words she used. “The GF and I never felt so close. One thing though, while I had no problem inserting the “wearer’s” end in me; Barbara did. It’s a pretty hefty girth. But then again, she’s just a little thing!” “OK, thanks for sharing,” I responded. “Well you told me not to spare you the gory details, remember?” I had to chuckle.

Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your SHARE, or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended. Drop the item into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go again. Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up. That’s what’s so great about silicone. Undoubtedly, it costs a bit more, but it is sooo worth it.

One final word. Just in case some of you need this spelled out for you; the SHARE is the ideal toy for your average straight couple too. You don’t have to be queer to take delight in switching roles. And ladies, won’t your man be surprised when he climbs in bed, pulls back the covers to gaze upon your loveliness only to discover that you have a big purple (black or pink) cock protruding from your pussy.

Pegging your man’s ass, like the bitch he is, has never been so fun and easy. No straps! No harness! Simply insert your part in you and tap his booty till your heart’s content!

ENJOY

Butt Plug Crash Course

In light of all the mail I’m gettin lately from both women and men asking about anal stimulation; I want to welcome you to yet another one of my Handy Dandy Sex Toy Advisories. This time: The Wonderful World of Butt Plugs!

Not sure what a butt plug is or why you would want one? Or maybe you sure enough know a butt plug from a hole in your head, but you just don’t know how to go about choosing the right one for you. Well, never fear, because Dr Dick is here And you can thank all my inquisitive correspondents and the treasure trove that is Dr Dick’s Stockroom for the heads up on these puppies.

A butt plug is an anal stimulation device that allows you to enjoy sustained anal pleasure (and prostate stimulation for the men folk) without the worry of having your toy fall out, or worse, disappear up your chute.

Let’s look at a typical butt plug to get a feel for how it works. Unlike most dildos and other anal toys, a butt plug is shorter and has a unique shape. The insertable part is often a tapered cone shape, designed for easy insertion and that all-filled-up feeling while it’s in place.

The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum.

Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?

But why would I want a plug in my ass? You might query. That, my friend, is a question only a rank amateur would ask. Unfamiliar with the joys of butt play, are ya? Well, here’s the 411 on anal pleasuring. Your bum is chock full of nerve ending that, when stimulated, induce intense pleasure. And a butt plug can be worn for hours at a time for a sustained dose of devilish delight.

Once you decide to give a plug a try, you’ll have loads of options to choose from. There is a slue of different sizes, shapes colors and textures. They come in several different materials. And some even vibrate. How fun is that?

Let’s look at all these options in turn.

— Start with SIZE.
If you’re new to the whole anal thing, I recommend you try something small. You’ll want an insertable length of less then 4” and a diameter of 2.5”. Feeling a bit more daring? Want to increase the insertable length and/or diameter? Knock yourself out, my friend. There are dozens of sizes available.

— Next choose a Material.
Got the dimensions you want, but not sure about what kind of material you want plugging your hole? I know that may sound funny, but it actually does matter what you insert where the sun don’t shine!

Say, Dr Dick, how do I know what material is best for me? Excellent question! See, you’re becoming a well-informed consumer already. Let me detail some of the finer points for you.

Latex — the granddaddy of sex toy material.
PLUSSES —
Inexpensive
Soft and flexible
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.

MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
May contain phthalates
Distinct rubbery odor

Jelly —advancements in chemistry transformed ordinary latex into even softer and more pliable jellies.
PLUSSES —
Inexpensive
Super-soft and flexible
Appealing translucent jelly-like appearance
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.
Comes in a variety of colors

MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Probably contain phthalates
Distinct rubbery odor

Silicone — a non-latex product that come in two varieties — firm and soft.
PLUSSES —
Durable and long lasting
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize silicone toys by boiling themc552.jpg
They’re bleachable
Dishwasher safe
More realistic feel
Retains body heat
Comes in a variety of colors
Less of an odor

MINUSES —
More expensive
Use only water-based lubes

Stainless Steel —it is smooth, hard and a thing of beauty.c991.jpg
PLUSSES —
Super-durable and long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Stainless Steel toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Much heftier weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.

MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

Pyrex Glass — a hard dense glass that will not shatter or splinter. A work of art.
PLUSSES —
Super-durable, long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Pyrex toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Hefty weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.

MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

New Supersoft — a new material that’s has the closest feel to real-life skin. It can be both soft and rigid.
PLUSSES —
Less expensive
Great texture

MINUSES —
Very porous
Less hygienic
Always use with a condom
Use only both water-based lubes.
Difficult to cleanb667.jpg
Distinct rubbery odor

Rubber — An old standard!
PLUSSES —
Inexpensive
Durable, very long lasting
Waterproof
Use with both water-based and oil-based lubes.
Comes in a vast array of colors
MINUSES —
Very porous, less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct rubbery odor

— Next choose Special Features.
Once you’ve decided on the material you want, you can customize your butt plug with special features like:

  • Bendable
  • Inflatable
  • Multi speed vibrating
  • Suction cup

— Next choose Texture.
Latex, silicone and rubber butt plugs come in an array of textures. Which one of these buggers will tickles your fancy?

  • Bulged
  • Noduled
  • Nubbed
  • Ribbed
  • Smooth
  • Studded
  • Swirled
  • Veined
  • Velvety

Portable Leather Thigh Sling

Name: Dmitri
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: Miami
I like to fuck mens and women too. I can go for hours and never get tired. But sometimes my legs hurt after. How do I stop this?

j414.jpgYa gotta love an equal-opportunity fucker! And one that can go for hours…why, that’s almost too good to be true. But you’re right, pal, all that muscle strain keeping your partners’ toes pointin’ to Jesus, can really cramp…literally…your style.

But wait, there may be a quick fix. Check out this sweet puppy — The Deluxe Portable Leather Thigh Sling (J414). Now your bottom can do most of the work keepin’ his or her legs out of harms way.

This Premium Leather Sling is perfect for traveling, or for places that cannot handle a full sling or suspension system.

Simply slide the padded neck brace behind your bottom’s neck, and slip his/her thighs through the adjustable padded loops. The sling cradles the neck and keeps his/her legs open wide for lusty accessibility.

Made of heavy duty leather, this sling will hold up to rough play and extended wear. It has two D-rings at the back of the neck brace to attach wrist restraints for more bondage control. The leg straps each have adjustable steel buckles, and the padded neck and thigh braces are made of softer garment leather with a foam core. Fabulous, huh?

Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager

Sex Fans,

Allow me to introduce you to a handy little vibrating plug that’ll surely put a smile on your face, Pandora Vibrating Silicone Prostate Massager (C554). This unisex toy will jazz up whatever spot you got — G-Spot or P-Spot. Since I’m a proud owner of a P-Spot (prostate), I’ll do my testifyin’ from that particular pew. I’ll let all you G-Spot owners come to your own conclusions.c554.jpg

This here Pandora massager is the perfect utensil for the novice ass raider. Not overly familiar with things pokin’ you in the be-hind? Not to worry, this smooth ergonomic slim-jim will enter with ease. Guys who are used to having big toys in their rosebud will probably be unimpressed with this beginner’s model, but the rest of us will appreciate its modest size.

Anyhow, Pandora has everything you’d expect in a plug. Plus it has this swell hooked end that is designed to hit the spot, if ya catch my drift. And there’s a bonus; it vibrates too. Not all butt plugs do, ya know. There are seven, count them, seven different speeds and pulsations, which makes that little soft hooked end thingy do a happy dance on your P-Spot (or G-Spot). And boy if that don’t make you see the light, nothin’ will.

There is nothing overpowering about this little bugger. Its vibration/pulsation is sweet and gentle, just the thing for the anal-lovin’ trainee. I encourage you to take your time getting to know all the different speeds and pulsations. I found that if I allowed the Zen like vibrations to build as I moved through the different sensations, rather than just throwin’ it into high gear from the get go, there was more joy to be had. Vibration control is found at the base of the unit.

The quality wireless Japanese motor is super quiet. It runs on 3 of them flat watch batteries. But don’t worry; your first rides are free. This puppy is already loaded with batteries and is ready to get at ya right out of the package.

And here’s a tip. Once you get used to having this discreet pleasure puppy in your bum, you can just leave it there for an extended time. That’s the beauty part of a plug’s flared end. You’ll never have to worry that it will go missing up your chute. Imagine how this little number will make you feel as you wisk your way through all your humdrum household chores. And you can bank on that!

ENJOY