Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker

Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker —— $24.99

Jesse Jane is my favorite porn star. I think I have at least a half dozen of her movies, including the two Pirates movies. So when I saw the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker at Dr Dick’s place, I asked if I could review it.

I want to start my review with how the stroker looks in its package. The clear molded plastic case features a totally hot pic of Ms Jane in her pirate costume. You can see the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker through the clear plastic and it looks like an ice sculpture. Very cool! I know ya can’t tell a book by its cover, but the presentation is totally hot, especially for a Jesse Jane fan, like me.

I opened the package and fished out the jelly-like stroker. It’s made of Cyberskin, which really soft, floppy and squishy. I have to say; upon closer inspection of the stroker outside the package, it is a little eerie. It’s like this see-through elf of a Jesse Jane. There’s also a sweet smell to it, almost like strawberry shortcake. I kid you not.

The thing about this stroker is that it has two small apertures at either end of Jesse’s tiny body — one where her asshole would be and the other at her mouth. Since you can see right through her body, you can also see the textured canal that is supposed to surround your dick when you fuck this thing. I mean that’s what a masturbator is all about, right?

Right off the bat I’m thinkin’ I’m never gonna get my 7.5” thick cock into the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker no matter how stretchy the Cyberskin is. But I proceeded anyhow. I got my favorite water-based lube; it’s the only kind of lube I’d ever use with Cyberskin. Funny, there’s nothing on the package that would warn a user about that. In fact the package has no information about the care and handling of this special material. And that’s way too bad, because if you use the wrong kind of lube with Cyberskin it will disintegrate. And if you don’t care for it after each and every use, you will destroy it.

So anyhow, I lube up the stroker and I’m trying to figure out a way to shimmy my boner into it when I finally give up. I realize the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker is not made for someone with my endowment. Bummer! This would probably be a great masturbation sleeve for someone with an average sized cock.

I love the feel of Cyberskin, it makes for some fantastic sensations. But it has certain drawbacks. Cleaning it is a bitch. I was able to submerge the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker into a sink of warm soapy water, but it’s impossible to turn it inside out to get it completely clean. I was having enough problems cleaning out the lube; but had I also dropped a load of spunk in there as well, it would have been even a bigger headache.

You also have to remember to dust Cyberskin with body powder or cornstarch once it is thoroughly dry. If you forget this essential step the toy will become so tacky and sticky that you won’t be able to use it again. But powdering the ribbed canal inside this stroker is nearly impossible, again because you can’t turn it inside out. You also need to store Cyberskin apart for your other toys too. I keep mine in a plastic bag.

I want to close with what I think I know about us guys and how we jerkoff. We love to wank! We love to cum! We love to make a mess! But we absolutely hate the cleanup. That’s why most of us will dump our load in a dirty sock, a wad of Kleenex, an old tee shirt or a towel. Once the bust-a-nut event is over, we don’t want to think anymore about it. Now a masturbator that isn’t easy to clean, one that takes a load of special care will be fun for a time, but then the novelty probably won’t last.

I’d love to be proven wrong about this, but until I hear otherwise, I’m gonna stick to my guns.