BILLY —— $129.00

Brad
DAMN, this is the most expensive sex toy…I mean Pleasure Object I’ve ever seen. Before I got hooked up with the Dr Dick Review Crew I used to make all my own sex toys. You’d be amazed what you can do with some bubble wrap, Jell-O, a battery-powered toothbrush or a bar of soap. Now that I’m an official review crew member I’m getting the education of my life. You’ll probably laugh, but before I got this BILLY I had never hear of LELO.

I knew I was in for a treat just by looking at the packaging. Everything about it says elegant. The message on the package, translated into multiple languages, reads:BILLY is a gentleman’s G-spot massager for those who wish to explore a more energetic sensation within. Benefiting from an ergonomic design tailored precisely to the male form, he offers sustained control through five differing stimulation modes. Such versatility achieves breathtaking results, where vibrations may be kept mild during arousal, before increasing to the levels that excite his user most. Whether enjoyed individually or with a partner, BILLY is a highly discreet and satisfying companion, always primed to deliver the most intense and varied feelings of release.

That a fancy way of sayin’ — ya pop this sucker in your ass for a groovy prostate massage. Hey, can I ask you people to stop referring to a dude’s prostate as “a gentleman’s G-spot”? I think a P-spot is pretty fuckin lame, but “a gentleman’s G-spot” is absolutely ridiculous.

Now that I have that off my back I can get back to telling you about BILLY. It’s a relatively petite thing as far as insertables go. 6.5” total length; 4” insertable length; 3.25″ circumference and weighs in at just about a pound. This is clearly intended for the novice butt pirate.

It has a ridge on the velvety-smooth silicone insertable part that is designed to make BILLY safe for ass play. The whole toy will never accidentally slip all the way in your bum, which is a fear that many guys new to ass play have. I know I did.

The controls for BILLY are located in the handle, which is made of hard plastic. It has 7 power settings and 5 vibe patterns. Steady vibration, three speeds of intermittent vibration and a wave setting where the vibration oscillates between gentle and stronger vibrations. And the best thing is it’s rechargeable. There’s this little port in the tip of the handle that accepts the recharging unit. Pretty slick, huh? My battery budget was gettin outta control. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge. And it’ll last about 4 hours on a full charge. It even lets you know when it is time to recharge. The control dial will glow red, instead of white when pushed.

You’ll have to use lube with this toy. Trying to insert it anally without lube is just asking for trouble. But be sure you use only a water-based lube.

Figuring out the four-quadrant controller can be a challenge. For the life of me I couldn’t figure it out when first I tried. I thought it was a good idea to run through the different speeds and intensities before I popped it in my ass. But suddenly it just died. The white LED light was still on, but I couldn’t get it to vibrate. I thought for sure I fucked up this expensive toy. I put it away for a while so I could review the instructions. On my second attempt, a couple hours later, it miraculously came back to life, but only slowly. I have no idea what the fuck was up with that. Freaked me out though.

Once I had BILLY in my hole, I really liked the feel of it. But I had the damnedest time working the controller while it was in place. The hard plastic handle and control button are impossible to hold on to or manipulate with lubed up fingers and hands. And don’t even think about getting lube in the recharge port, because the thing will be toast for damn sure.

This gets me to clean up. Since BILLY is only splash proof and not waterproof you have to be very careful not to get water in the recharge port either. That being said, soap and water works fine. Or you can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

If you can spring the big wad of cash needed to score one of these Pleasure Objects; I say go for it!

ENJOY!