ELBOW GREASE Light —— $4.75
[editors note: I want to say a word about the ELBOW GREASE company’s background. It was founded back in 1979, long before the onset of the AIDS crisis and thus the pressing need for condoms. So these folks were one of the pioneers of the personal lube phenomenon. Back then, gay men were more likely to use Crisco as a lubricant for their intense fuck sessions. This became a huge problem, because Crisco, if not stored properly, would go rancid in time. And when it did, you, your partner(s), your sheets and your bedroom would stink like week old french-fries. Trust me, it wasn’t pleasant. Happily, Elbow Grease Original Cream put an end to that annoying sexual faux pas when it exploded onto the market. Finally, we had an alternative to a vat of smelly vegetable shortening rotting under the bed. ELBOW GREASE is greaseless and odorless, but still thick and creamy. It revolutionized the way we had partnered sex as well as simply jerkin off. Without further ado here’s Jack.]
For review purposes, the Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Light.
I must admit that I’m not a big fan of mineral-based cream lubricants. If it’s thick and creamy, I just feel like it belongs on my face. Before you get any brilliant visual images, I’m talking about Noxzema. My mother uses it religiously on her own face. Though she swears by it, I never adopted the habit. Needless to say, the association of mom when I pop open a canister of creamy lube is dis-engorging to say the least. Furthermore, why lather on a thick cream, unless there’s a fun way to get it off. Now forget about mom and visualize that facial you were thinking about before.
I may have to start a new devotion to ELBOW GREASE Light formula. One liberal application to your cock and I bet you won’t last as long as the lubricant. Silly me, I tried this creamy stuff on a latex condom suited toy without much luck. They just don’t seem to be made for each other. And guess what? Actually they’re not. Who reads labels before taking the plunge? Not me!
Although I am not one to condone bareback sex, if you’re going to grease it up to your elbows, I’d recommend this type of lubricant for true gutter slut sex. But in my humble opinion, fornication should be like fisting, it’s always better with a glove. So keep this on the shelf for those moments alone or during your masturbatory marathons with your favorite cinematic selection in the foreground. But if you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship that doesn’t require a condom, knock yourself out! This stuff is great.