Get MAXXX —— $21.99
Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Our package of Get MAXXX clearly states: ‘purest silicon (sic) lubricant, Made in Germany.’ So we weren’t the least bit confused as to what kind of lube this was.”
Chuck: “We thought Get MAXXX worked best during our stroke sessions. It lubricates without reducing sensation and that’s important when we have one of our marathon sessions.”
Mick: “Yeah, we try to see who can outlast the other. So this is the perfect lube for those edging contests.”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX is …

Dr.Love Silkening Lubricant —— $21.99
Ken & Denise
Ken: “This is sure enough a German product. You can tell by just looking at the package. The fine print comes in three languages; the primary one is German. I think they used a computer program for the translation into English.”
Denise: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Ken: “Nothing really. Just making a point about authenticity. This is the real deal. Oh and remember when we first looked at the package we weren’t …

Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug —— $79.98
Dr Dick
Friends, are you tired of not having anything dazzling to wear on those special occasions when you want to look and feel your best? Ya know, like when you’re runnin’ the Hoover, taking out the trash (rubbish or BF), or pickin out something butch at Home Depot? Well dear readers, I have just the thing for you. Lookie here! It’s a Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, or butt plug if you prefer. This is no ordinary plug, no …

Okeido 3-Pack —— $6.00
Brad
I’m not one of those guys who throws a hissy fit over having to wear a condom when I fuck. I happen to think it’s a sign of respect to the lady I’m about to bone. She doesn’t always know where my johnson has been and I rarely know where her meatpie has been. So it just makes sense. I mean, the more of a big deal ya make about this simple health and safety thing the more of a douchebag you …

Magic Massager —12 Function, 3 Attachments —— $46.30
Joy
Can you believe it’s 2010 already? I’ve been a Review Crew member for two and a half years. And in that time I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to a load of great products, but also some not so great as well.
Today’s review falls squarely into the great product category. I want to tell you about the Magic Massager from Blush Novelties. This thing is phenomenal. It’s a mini-wand type of vibrator; it’s only about 8 …

ELBOW GREASE Hot —— $4.75
Jack Cascade*
The promotional claim reads: ELBOW GREASE Hot Cream is of the same thick consistency as the Original formula but, it heats up! The Hot formula is a mineral oil-based, warming, thick cream lubricant. It stands beside its Original brother as the oldest warming cream formula on the market today. The warming agent in our formula is menthol.
For review purposes, the long-established Elbow Grease people sent us a 1 oz container of their ELBOW GREASE Hot.

I want to know who the hell thought it’d …

ELBOW GREASE Light —— $4.75
[editors note: I want to say a word about the ELBOW GREASE company’s background. It was founded back in 1979, long before the onset of the AIDS crisis and thus the pressing need for condoms. So these folks were one of the pioneers of the personal lube phenomenon. Back then, gay men were more likely to use Crisco as a lubricant for their intense fuck sessions. This became a huge problem, because Crisco, if not stored properly, would go rancid in …