Beer Babe Vagina

Beer Babe Vagina Precious Pink                $20.94

Chuck

This here is the Beer Babe Vagina in what they call Precious Pink.  It also comes in, god help us, Raunchy Red.

I’m gay!  So right off the bat, the promotional pitch for this product didn’t appeal to me.  Seems to me Synergy SYN1700002_1Erotic is needlessly eliminating a whole bunch of potential queer customers with this approach, but that’s just me.  I do love a good masturbating sleeve.  So even if it looks like a cunt, I won’t hold that against it.  I mean once I get goin, I’m not gonna notice the configuration of the orifice.

The Beer Babe gets high marks for creativity.  I mean besides it looking like a bottle of beer, the copy on the label is a hoot.  “Superb Jackability” on the front.  And on the back:  “Prolonged use of this item may cause pleasure, stimulation and finally ejaculation!  Use of suitable water-based lubricants and appropriate visual ages is highly recommended.  Deposit Required!”

It says that it’s 9” fleshy inches.  But that’s simply not true.  The whole bottle is 9 inches. And no one’s dick, least of all mine, would fit in the bottle’s neck.  Besides, the “fleshy” insert is only 6 inches.  And while that might suit most guys; if you got anything over a 6 inch boner, the head of your dick is gonna get jammed up against the tapering neck of the bottle.  OUCH!

Vigorous thrusting, the kind I like, will also dislodge the fleshy insert from the hard plastic bottle.  This is frustrating in the extreme.

When I first took this thing from its packaging and opened the base to look inside, a wave of noxious fumes came from within.  WTF?  I mentioned this to Dr Dick and he said that’s called off-gas.  Which is a nasty by-product of manufacturing. I wasn’t about to stick my dick in there till I eliminated the smell. I soaked the entire unit, inside and out, in hot soapy water first, to rid it of the smell.

After only one attempt at squeezing one off with the Beer Babe ; I gave up.  Like I said, the insert kept separating from the bottle shaped holder.

Imagine if this company invested more money into making a better product, one that actually worked, lasted and manufactured it with materials that didn’t smell bad.  Like I said, I love a good masturbation sleeve.  I’d happily pay good money for a quality product.  In fact I have!  I am the proud owner of two Fleshlights.  Now there’s a good product!

About dr dick

Sex Therapist, Sex Advice Columnist

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