ELISE ——  $169

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “Finally we’ve got our hands on a LELO.  We were beginning to wonder who we had to fuck to get in on the LELO action around here.”
Jack:  “Like my daddy always said, ‘Ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.’”
Karen:  “The
ELISE is way better than a pony!
This black beauty (ours is black) is made from medical grade silicone.  It’s just short of 10” long with just about 5” insertable length. It’s got a sweet curve to it and its torpedo-shaped.  I like that shape because it looks just like Jack’s thingy.”
Jack:  “Thingy?  My THINGY?  She’s such a grownup.”
Karen:  “Sorry, that didn’t come out like I hoped.  Jack’s cock is torpedo-shaped and it curves, to the left.  Is that better, honey?”
Jack:  “Yes dear, that’s better.  It’s just that I never heard you use “thingy” before.
Ok, on with our review.  The
ELISE has 5 stimulation modes and 5 speeds.  It’s super quiet.  It’s also rechargeable; so there’s no stinkin’ batteries to buy.”
Karen:  “The Scandinavian designers of the
ELISE clearly had the woman user in mind when they developed this vibe.  When I use it by myself, for G-spot stimulation, the controls are right where they should be, in the handle were I see and can reach them.  There are also two, count them, two points of vibration — one in the tip, another in the shaft.”
Jack:  “The
ELISE comes with the elegant signature LELO high-end packaging.  It’s a gift just waiting to be given.”
Karen:  “But be sure to use only water-based lube with this silicone vibe.”
Jack:  “And be careful that you don’t get any lube (or water, when you’re cleaning up) in the recharging port.”
Karen:  “That’s the only drawback I see to this Pleasure Object.  Other than that, you can be completely uninhibited with the
ELISE.  Isn’t that true, Jack?  Why not tell the good people your little secret?”
Jack:  “Ok, ok, Stop The Presses!  I have an announcement.  I broke my ass cherry with the ELISE.  There I said it.
I wasn’t actually gonna say that here, because I’m still a little, how shall I put this, sensitive about the whole anal insertion thing.  But WTF, right?

I mean I had a ball with this bugger.  I’m like totally sold on the prostate massage concept now.  But still, years of equating butt-play with gay will take awhile to dissolve.”
Karen:  “I am so proud of you for coming out like this, you little butt pirate, you!”
Jack:  “Hey now, that’s our little secret.”
Karen:  “Yeah, us and all of our readers.”
Jack :  “Like I suggested a bit ago, cleanup is easy with just some soap and water; just mind the recharger port.  If you’re gonna share this toy, like we did, be sure to thoroughly wipe it down with a lint-free towel wet with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Remember, you won’t be able to boil it or pop it in the dishwasher to sterilize.”
Karen :  “Yes, we ought to emphasize that The
ELISE isn’t waterproof.  Splash proof, yes; waterproof, no.”
Jack :  “We’re totally sold on the
ELISE.  Give it a try; you will be too.”