Ultimate Personal Shaver Kit – $79.95
Hey sex fans,
I have the niftiest little gizmo here (actually two nifty gizmos) from the swell folks at The Ultimate Personal Shaver. I have two because they sent me a kit to review. Nut you can also buy these puppies separately too.
Anyhow, the Ultimate Personal Shaver System is a clever new way to trim and/or shave your naughty parts, and even some parts that are not so naughty. But I am getting ahead of myself. So unlike me, huh?
Let me just say I wish I had these shavers available during my last video shoot. Despite my long-suffering pleas to the talent to NEVER to shave their ding-dongs the day of the porn shoot. Do you think they listen? NO, they don’t. So there we were shooting scene 1 — all lights, camera and action. Things were gettin hot and heavy when what do my sore eyes detect? A smear of blood on one of the actor’s leg then more blood on the other guy’s abdomen. In no time at all it looked like we were shooting a surgery scene, not porn. YIKES!
Sure enough, one of the performers had nicked himself manscaping his pubes earlier that morning. The throws of the sex scene opened the cut and that was all she wrote. Filming stopped, erections were lost and production costs escalated. And it was all because the monkey didn’t take my advice about the shaving thing. D’oh!
Don’t let this happen to you, sex fans!
The Ultimate Personal Shaver System is a must have for all porn stars — women, men and everyone in between. Drag queens and dyke daddies will love these shavers too. And if you, my precious reader, do not fall into any one of these categories you’ll still love The Ultimate Personal Shaver System. I mean, who among us doesn’t have at least one itsy bitsy hair issue that needs attending?
Listen up; get one of these kits and there will be no more painful wax jobs, ingrown hairs or the heartbreak of a chemical or razor burn. Just smooth, silky skin where there ought be smooth, silky skin, don’t ‘cha know.
But wait; let’s just say you are opposed to wackin’ your bush into submission, that you’re one of them “natural” guys or gals. Hey, that’s cool! More power too ya. In fact, Dr Dick is sick to death of seein all that completely shaved beaver and bat N balls. What gives with this troubling trend anyhow?
But even us purists have unsightly nostril hair, unruly eyebrows and ear hair to contend with, right? The Ultimate Personal Trimmer takes care of these problems in a jiffy.
For all of you folks out there hell-bent on a manicured coozie or a styled johnson here’s what ya do.
- Make sure your skin is dry.
- Apply the Ultimate Shaving Talc using the jim-dandy application brush
- Pull the skin taught for a close shave
- Hold the Ultimate Personal Trimmer at a 45-degree angle to the skin and have at it.
Once you’ve shaved the hair to your satisfaction, move on to the Ultimate Personal Finishing Shaver.
- Apply a bit more shaving talc
- Pull skin taught
- Hold the shaver directly against the skin
- Move it up and down and in a circular motion, and PRESTO!
As you can tell from my comments above, I like this shaving system a lot. They are very discreet, fully functional and nicely designed. I was, however, a bit surprised to find that the Ultimate Personal Trimmer was as lightweight as it is. It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s really plastic. I wish it were made of more substantial materials, like the Ultimate Personal Finishing Shaver. I wonder why it’s not. I haven’t used it enough times to know if it’ll last, so the jury is still out on that.
One final thing, ya know how I’m always raggin on manufacturers to do the GREEN thing, right? Well I don’t know how practical this is, but as a conscientious consumer I would happily pay more for products like these if they were rechargeable. Who needs another battery-operated device anyhow? I mean, in the long run batteries cost a lot more than the added up-front cost of a rechargeable model.