The Under The Bed Restraint System

Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew is back with their reviews of the remaining group of intriguing and oh so practical novelties from the pleasure-oriented folks over at Sportsheets.

The Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew introduces you to even more sexy fun products that will liven up even the most ho-hum sex life.

If you missed Sport Fuck, Part 1; look for it here.

Let’s check in with our intrepid reviewers.

The Under The Bed Restraint System $44.95

This turns your bed into a bondage playground. Simply slide the straps under any underbedrestraints.jpgmattress, and position them around the bed to create various bondage possibilities.

Glenn & Hank

Hank:  “Remember what we were saying last time about being unable to outfit our apartment with all the fun stuff you’d find in your average, well-appointed dungeon?  Well Glenn and I took on this review in the hopes we might be able to create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional apparatus.”
Glenn:  “Yeah, I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed.  I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.
Hank:  “It’s totally hot for me too.  And now we can play this out on our own and in our own bedroom.”
Glenn:  “Being a bondage submissive is liberating for me.  It’s like leaving my body in some ways, yet being intensely present at the same time.  Do you remember that old song that went — ‘longing for the freedom of my chains’?  It’s like that.”
Hank:  “So now he’s a fuckin’ poet all of a sudden!”
Glenn:  “Don’t listen to him.  He’s just jealous!  Hank is way too much of a control freak to be a submissive.  And remember: Bottoms Rule!”
Hank:  “Back to the review, wonder-hole.  The Under The Bed Restraint System is not the least be threatening.  In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn:  “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”
Hank:  “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”
Glenn:  “And like all the Sportsheets products we have here, it’s reasonably priced — under $50!”
Hank:  “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits.  We did!”
Glenn:  “You can say that again.  I still have welts on my ass to prove it.”
Hank:  “But that’s another story for another time.”

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Sex Therapist, Sex Advice Columnist

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