Sexercise ME

Sexerciseball (alone)    $79.00

Micka Butt Plug (package)    $169.00

Precious (package)        $169.00

Hey Sex Fans!

Ya know what I like?  I like it when someone has the balls to put novel back into novelty.   That’s what I like.  And boy-oh-boy have I discovered a truly novel novelty.

Allow me to introduce you to the Sexerciseball.  I mean really, who woulda thunk?  Apparently the good people at SexerciseMe (those wacky folks from down under) have the BALLS…literally and figuratively.

Anyone who has spent even a few hours in a gym in the past 10 years will immediately recognize sexerciseball.jpgthe Sexerciseball…well at least the big round ball part of it.  That’s right, it’s one of them blasted exercise thingies that your personal trainer makes you do crunches on and leg lifts with.

If you’ve actually been forced to use one of these muthers, ya know to tone your abs and tighten you ass, as I have.  Then you’ll appreciate the subversively clever re-purposing of this torture device into an apparatus of sheer pleasure.

My hat is off to the folks at SexerciseMe.  I was just thinking to myself, what kind of a feverishly demented mind conjure up a clever concept like this?  One thing for sure, the mind that was responsible for this wasn’t focused on his/her exercises, that’s for damned sure.

I wonder, was he/she sweating his/her tits off, workin’ her glutes or his abs when the ta-daa moment hit?  How deliciously perverse!  Regardless how it happened, we are all the happy beneficiaries.

So here’s the lowdown.  The Sexerciseball is an actual anti-burst 65cm exercise ball, just like the ones you find in the gym.  It even has decals on it demonstrating some of the swell exercises you can do with it.  But this particular ball has a secret compartment.  The compartment is cleverly disguised by a color-coded screw cap that will fool everyone into thinking you’ve finally gotten serious about fitness.  But the joke’s will be on them, don’t cha know!

Unscrew the cap and replace it with one of the four available vibrating sex toys and you got yourself a top shelf pleasure provider.  So that when you play, alone or with others, you’ll have that all-important “bounce that counts” that will add to the fun.

Dr Dick had the pleasure of testing two of the available vibrating sex toys — The Micka Butt Plug and Precious.  Not one to hog all the fun for myself, I decided to share my good fortune with a friend.  Brad is a personal trainer with a knockout body and a wicked sense of humor.  He took to the Sexerciseball like a pig to shit!

In fact, Brad was so eager to take the Micka Butt Plug for a ride, that he didn’t let me finish micka-with-package.jpgpointing out all the joys to be had.  Ok, I thought to myself, let’s do it his way.  I screwed the Micka Butt Plug attachment into the ball and stood back.  Brad’s muscled ass devoured the plug and he began to bounce and wiggle.

What Brad didn’t know was that the Mika vibrates and I held the wireless remote control in my hand.  While he was distracted grinding his ass cheeks into the ball, I hit the “on” button.  I though Brad was gonna go through the roof.  He let out a yelp and flew off the ball.  He tumbled to the floor, his gym shorts in a twist around his ankles.  It was hysterical.  I figured this was pay back time for all the torture he puts his clients through on regular exercise ball.

Once Brad knew the sucker vibrated he was ready for another go.  Only this time he held the remote control.  It was a sight to behold.  I just sat there in utter amazement as this hunky stud got his freak on.  He rotated through the 6 vibe and pulse modes and groaned with mounting lust.  Then shot a wad of spunk over his shoulder and on to the oriental carpet.  DAMN that was amazing!  But who’s gonna clean that up?

Precious was next.  There was no way I was gonna sit down on the 6×5 cock shaped dildo, because I didn’t have to and no one was gonna make me.  So there!

However, using one of the decal exercise diagrams on the ball as an example, I laid down on my precious-with-package-v2.jpgback with the ball between me and the wall.  I wrapped my legs around the ball, lifted the ball and positioned Precious so it landed on my taint (perineum) just behind my balls.  I flipped on the remote and worked the vibrator through its 6 different vibe/pulse modes.  Using my legs, I was able to roll the ball down and closer, then up and farther away.  I squeezed my legs together with Precious between my manly thighs and enjoyed the show.

I discovered that by doing this I was working my PC muscles, which is a bonus.  I figure, if you can get some health benefits with your diddle, it’s better than diddling without!

I tried several other positions before returning to the original, on my back, position for the big finish.  In no time at all I was to the point of no return, so I just let loose and had a heart-thumping orgasm.  Luckily, I had the good sense to put down a towel before I started so that I would spare my carpet another indignity.

One of the really great things about the Sexerciseball is that it’s so freakin versatile.  And two can play just as well as one.

Brad and I both enjoyed ourselves immeasurably.  He was certain he’d invest in a Sexerciseball for use with his “private” personal training clients.  I can see it all now!

newvibratoroffer.jpg

To wrap thing up I want to give you a heads-up on some important details.

  • If you decide to purchase one of these marvels, look for the package deals.  They are your best buy option.  The packages come with the insert of your choice and everything else (including the ball) that you’ll need.
  • Happily, your first ride is FREE!  A set of batteries is included when you buy a package deal.
  • I still suggest that you stock up on batteries, because you’re gonna need ‘em. You’re gonna have so much fun, you’ll need to replace the 5 AAA batteries regularly.  And here’s a tip:  don’t leave the battery pack in the vibrator insert between play sessions.  The batteries will go dead over night if you do.
  • Use only water-based lube in your play.
  • Be careful — things will get mighty slippery once you get the lube goin’.  If you lose your balance on the ball and one of the inserts is up your ass or in your pussy, you could get hurt.
  • Inserts are made of Thermal Plastic Rubber, which is odorless, hygienic and phthalate free.
  • The inserts are NOT immersible. But clean up is easy with soap and warm water.

Remember, the vibrating inserts can be used independently of the ball, which doubles their versatility.  Of course, the ball can be used as a stand-alone exercise ball too.  But who in the world would want to do that.  I mean, if your personal trainer isn’t forcing you to do it; why bother, right?  😉

Finally, you know how I always give extra points to products that are cleverly designed.  This Aussie invention gets those extra points for sure.  But I’m also gonna add even more points because they’ve gone out of their way to create a sex toy that you can hide in plain site.  And that, sex fans, makes my day.

ENJOY

About dr dick

Sex Therapist, Sex Advice Columnist

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