Rude Boy $79.00
Lookie here lads! I have something that’ll put a smile on your face, a song in your heart and, most importantly, some BIG joy in your bum. Allow me to introduce you to my new BFF — Rude Boy. Just when you thought the women folk had a monopoly on all the vibratin’ fun along comes this little fella.
- It’s because my butt is my friend.
- It has as many pleasurable nerve endings as my cock.
- Prostate massage is good for me.
- And my ass needs some lovin’ too.
Yes siree, my friends, if you’re lookin for just the right thing that’ll start you down the road to years of prostate pleasure and health; Rude Boy is just the thing for you.
Now don’t get me wrong. When I say I enjoy some stimulation down below, I’m not talkin’ massive insertions. No, I like it subtle. I have nothing against someone pummeling his or her poop-chute with an object that could easily pass for a floor lamp. To each his own! But for me, a little goes a very long way. I prefer to savor, not gorge. That’s way I like Rude Boy. Think of it as a fine aged Merlot for your ass.
Let’s start with appearances. Some guys don’t go in for the butt play thing, because some of the products on the market have a fussy, over-stylized look to them. Not Rude Boy! There’s nothing girly about it. It’s real manly lookin’ from its soft black medical grade silicone shaft with the upward curve, to its classy chrome tip. It’s as handsome as it is functional. Why, you could leave this sonofabitch lyin around the garage or workshop and no one would be the wiser. It looks like the kinda thing ya use to change out the spark plugs.
Rude Boy ‘s smooth shaft is of modest girth (about 1” in diameter). Just about the same size and the knuckle on your thumb (unless you have freakishly small fingers). This makes for effortless insertion even for a beginner. The shank is angled so that when fully inserted its soft tip makes love to your prostate. The tiny silicone cleats on its flared end land smack-dab against your taint (perineum). And the smart bullet end nuzzles your nuts. It’s like three toys in one!
But there’s more. The thing sings…or should I say vibrates. Depress the silicone nub on the bullet and this puppy comes to life. It’s so perfect. (Note: Rude Boy runs on one of those small flat watch batteries. The first one is included. But if you are smart, you will stock up on batteries. You don’t want it runnin’ out of juice mid-diddle, if ya know what I mean.)
And here’s a really big plus in my book — Rude Boy is brilliantly quiet. Believe me, there’s nothing I hate more than to have a discreet pleasure session ruined by a vibe noisy enough to wake the dead. What are some of these manufacturers thinking?
I began my first session lying on my back. I used water-based lube (the only kind of lube to use with a silicone toy) to grease me up inside. This is absolutely essential for all ass play; but you know that already, huh? For this purpose, I recommend a Lube Shooter (C123). You can’t go wrong with one of these doohickeys. It makes gettin the lube deep inside your hole more manageable. I added a nice coat of lube to the Rude Boy shank and presto; it easily slips into place. You’ll wonder how you lived so long without one of these things pluggin your ass.
I gave my innards a few moments to adjust to the insertion before I switched on the vibe. The cleats on my taint and the soft shaft lodged in my bunghole massaged my prostate both inside and out. Jeez Louise, this was fuckin’ amazing. I got to my knees and then sat back on my haunches. This was the ideal position for me. The pleasure was very intense (in a good way) so I just leaned back and marveled at the ooze of precum bubbling from my rigid johnson. And the chrome tip tickled my nuts in the most delightful way.
Remember, not everyone has the same internal anatomy, so you may find that a little manual manipulation is necessary to direct Rude Boy so it’ll settle into precisely the right position for you.
While Rude Boy is designed to pleasure your bum for an extended period of time, it is not a traditional butt plug. For starters, there is no notch on Rude Boy’s shank for you sphincter to lock on to. Depending on your expectations, this may or may not be a good thing. Keeping Rude Boy in place, especially when it’s slick with lube, can be a challenge. But doing so will work your PC muscles like crazy. And everyone knows what a good thing that it, right? Since Rude Boy won’t lock in place, so to speak, without that traditional notch; you do have the freedom to adjust its position as frequently as you want for just the right amount of sensations you need.
Rude Boy ‘s unique hands free design enables you to sit and rock at the same time you stroke and tug on your balls. You’ll love it! Try a little edging while Rude Boy is in place. You will be amazed by the amount of spooge you shoot when you finally cum.
My second ride on Rude Boy was in the bathtub. That’s a right, sex fans, this little marvel is fully submersible. Imagine all the fun you’ll have this summer in the pool or at the beach.
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