Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews

Pjur Analyse Me! Silicone Anal Glide

Long-lasting silicone personal lubricant designed specifically to enhance the pleasure of ass fucking. Jojoba extracts help soften the skin and anal sphincter enhancing the experience of anal sex. Unlike other such products, Analyse Me is Benzocaine free!

Mick and Chuck —

“This stuff worked great…a little too great, in fact.

You know that I’ve been having some problems with my butt since the surgery. Anyhow, I haven’t been as confident a bottom as I once was. Chuck’s pretty big and with his PA…well, I’ve just not been able to accommodate him.

I’ve tried relaxing exercises and whatnot, but nothing seemed to work. We were both pretty frustrated and ready to call the whole thing off till you shared the Analyse Me with us.

This was just what I needed to regain my confidence in my skill as a bottom. I started in using the lube on myself; you know, kinda like getting myself all warmed up. I could feel the difference right away. Noting dramatic, mind you, but the effect was noticeable.

Once I thought I was ready for Chuck, I asked him to try and put it in. It was like it was pre-surgery. I was able to relax and things were flawless. That is until Chuck noticed that he had lost some of the sensitivity in his dick.

Well, duh! If Analyse Me is good enough to decrease the sensitivity in my butt, it just stands to reason that it would have the same effect on Chuck’s dick. Unfortunately, neither one of us thought about this till it was too late for that first session. When I use this stuff now, Chuck uses a rubber.”

What luck, sex fans! A load of Pjur (pronounced “pure”) products came my way. So I thought I’d spread the wealth, so to speak. I got 5 different Pjur lubes here; enough to share with some of my product review pals and keep one for myself, don’t cha know!

Before I report the findings of Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew, I want to introduce ya’ll to the Pjur label. I’ve tested a vast array of lubes over the years. And while some people have a personal favorite, any connoisseur of personal lubricants will know that the Pjur line of products has an unrivaled international reputation. That’s why I was so jazzed to receive so many different Pjur products to review. And this represents just a fraction of their complete line.

Pjur products are German made. And that, sex fans, means quality. Unlike many similar products, they are clinically and dermatologist tested, approved safe for internal use and certified latex condom compatible. And they never use animal testing.

They come in three different formulas too — Water-based, the type least likely to irritate bodily surfaces. Silicone-based, which is super-slippery and lasts longer than the water-based variety. And a Combination, which is a blend of water-based and silicone. And here’s a tip: when choosing a lube know that the thicker the lube the less friction you’ll experience; thinner lubes will allow for more friction.

For those purists (no pun intended) among us, the people at Pjur maintain a complete list of Ingredients for all their products here.

• And here’s some news I just learned. Because Pjur uses only the highest-grade silicone in their products, they claim it is safe to use with 90% of all silicone toys. They do not, however, recommend their silicone-based lubes to be used on soft cyberskin or other spongy silicone toys and inserts.

Pjur Eros Bodyglide Original

Smooth, fragrance free, and doesn’t get ropy or sticky. It’s highly concentrated, so a little goes a long way.

Dr Dick —

“I love this lube. I keep returning to this brand year after year. I’m never disappointed. Oh, and did you know that it doubles as a swell massage lotion. In these tough economic times, wise consumers choose quality products. And when these quality products are also multi-functional, well then you know you’ve struck gold.

I’ve had the pleasure of introducing this particular lube to several men who have worked on and in one or another of my Daddy Oohhh! Productions. Studio lights and long filming sessions tend to dry out water-based lubes. But Eros Bodyglide always withstands the rigors of a porn shoot. If you have the kind of sex that would make a porn star blush, this is the lube for you.

And get this, one of my featured performers, a guy who is heavy into latex and rubber told me that he uses Eros Bodyglide to help him get into his skin tight outfits. He also claims that Eros Bodyglide keeps his gear nice and shiny. All I could say is, ‘I did not know that!’”

Pjur Woman Bodyglide

Pjur Woman line of products is designed especially for the soft and sensitive skin of women. Woman Bodyglide contains conditioners and moisturizers, but no oils, fats, preservatives or animal byproducts.

Joy —

“I’m a big fan of Pjur products, I’ve been using Eros Bodyglide for years. It’s my lube of choice. This is the first time I’ve used one of the products from their Woman line. I didn’t think I would change my mind about my favorite lube, but Woman Bodyglide is totally amazing. It has a lighter feel to it than the Eros product I’m used to. It feels really natural, like what my own body makes. I’m totally impressed.

And this stuff lasts and lasts, which makes it really economical. And who doesn’t need to be cost conscious these days?

I also like the fact that it is scent free and has no discernible taste. I just hate it when the lube I’m using tastes like cooking oil…or worse. The fact that it’s nontoxic and non allergenic is a big plus.

I’m sold!”

Pjur Superhero Energizin Ginkgo Lubricant

Water-based personal lubricant designed for men who want a little boost. The key ingredient, Ginkgo, provides a natural, safe, viagra-like source of energy and growth thus providing maximum endurance and enjoyment. The special ingredients reduce hypersensitivity.

Perfect for use with all silicone toys.

Tag and his Play Partner —

“The label says ginkgo stands for expansion, power and energy. My play partner and I felt nothing. We, however, normally get rock hard and already have plenty of energy for sex. The label does say that it is ‘perfect for use in combination with Pjur Superhero Performance Spray for Men.’ Maybe I would have noticed some benefit had I also had the spray.

Or maybe this product is just marketed at someone other than me.”

Pjur Eros BASIC Bodyglide

An inexpensive alternative silicone-based Bodyglide. Non-toxic, non-pore blocking, with no taste or odor, and latex safe.

Angie and her husband —

“This is a perfectly fine lube. You need very little for it to last a long time. My husband and I both liked this product very much. We didn’t have to interrupt our lovemaking to reapply. So that was a big plus in our book.

I understand that they have a water-based version of this product. I want to try that sometime. I can’t use this particular lube with my silicone vibe; and that’s just a darn shame.”

ENJOY

The Vergenza Mk. I $140.00

“I can’t believe you want me to stick this beautiful thing in my ass!” That’s my friend Ken talkin’ to me as he slowly removes the Vergenza Mk. I from its stylish velvet pouch and lazily rolls it around in his hands. “It is stunning, isn’t it? I say with equal admiration. “But hey, why shouldn’t your ass (or someone’s pussy) be treated to something this beautiful all the time?” Ken nods in agreement. “Yeah, that’s right; my ass deserves the best!”

Thus, I’m happy to report, a love affair was born.

Ken is, as we say here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the consummate B.O.B. (Big Old Bottom)! His hole is the center of his universe. Where other men are dick-centric; Ken is decidedly ass-centric. Not only does he know his way around his butt, but he has trained many others to savor the intense pleasure only butt play can produce. And Ken promises that one of his trainees, his sometime play partner Denise, will enjoy this beauty. So I knew at once that Ken would be the idea person to put the Vergenza Mk. I through its paces.

Before we get to far ahead of ourselves, I want to lay before you the vision that is the Vergenza Mk. I. It is composed of aircraft-quality spun aluminum — a safe, non-porous and sterile material. It is eight inches long and one and one-quarter inches wide. It weighs in at nearly a pound. (We will soon discover that this heft is gonna come in handy, but I digress.)

As you can see from the photo this beauty is a double header. Each end is sculpted into a different configuration and each end is insertable. The six consecutive orbs on the one end provide a delightfully bumpy ride to heaven. The opposite end is a shorter, sleekly tapered, smooth insert. You’ll also notice that each end not only functions as a dildo, but also as a plug. There is a difference, you know.

Notice the traditional notch and tapering that allows one’s sphincter to close around it and lock either end into place. That, sex fans, is what transforms a common dildo into a butt-plug. (Again, this little tidbit will cum into play when we hear back from Ken.)

For those unfamiliar with the concept of a metal insertable you are missing out. This high-grade aluminum is unbeatable in terms of smoothness and versatility. It’s nontoxic and it’s the easiest material to keep sanitary, because it’s nonporous. Unlike that other exceptionally versatile material, glass, aluminum will not break or shatter. And the Vergenza Mk. I is domestically manufactured, so you’ll never have to worry about where it came from, who made it, under what conditions, or the quality of the materials used. And considering the state of a lot of imported sex toys these days; that’s a huge relief.

Everyday cleanup is a snap with soap and water. To sterilize simply drop it into a pot of boiling water for a minute or two. Or if you’re completely fagged out by all your play, you can just pop the blasted thing in the dishwasher before you drift off to a well-deserved post-coital nap.

Now let’s get back to Ken and find out what kind of mischief he gotten into since he left my house with the Vergenza Mk. I tucked safely under his arm.

As I suspected Ken reserved the first ride for himself, no fool he! To kick things up a notch, Ken decided to chill the Vergenza Mk. I before he began his solo play. “There’s nothing like cold metal on hot hole to produce an earth-shaking orgasm.” He proudly proclaims. (I forgot to mention that a metal insertable can be warmed and chilled to create unique sensations beyond the feelings produced by the insertion itself.)

Apparently Ken had the time of his life, buggering himself senseless with one end of the Vergenza Mk. I and then the other. Ken really liked the heft of this wand the best. He said that besides the pleasure it induced as a dildo, it turned out to be the most amazing tool for toning his PC muscles, “Doin’ Kegels with this thing in your ass is quite a work out!” Ken knows what every power-bottom knows; taut and toned PC muscles keep his caboose from goin slack and saggy.

“I have a play party set up with Denise for tomorrow. So I’ll be able to introduce the Vergenza Mk. I to her pussy then. She’s going to be one happy camper!” Everyone here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice waited with bated breath for the following report to come in. And it did…in less then 36 hours. Ya gotta love a man who is so prompt with his reporting.

“Denise got off on this thing big time! She loved the heft and density of the Vergenza Mk. I. She like the end with the bumps the best. The smooth end was nice and it seemed to stimulate her G-spot better than the bumpy end, but she couldn’t get enough of the bumps. She’s kind of a freak that way.” How does that old saying go? “Ribbed for her pleasure!”

Ken went on to say that once Denise got off on vaginal stimulation a couple of times, he flipped her over for some of that promised backdoor action. Ken wants to remind everyone that going from pussy to ass pleasure is ok, but definitely not the reverse. “Never put anything that has been in an ass anywhere else, especially not in a vagina!”

Before the flip, Ken completely cleaned the Vergenza Mk. I with hand soap and lots of hot water. “This really warmed up our magic wand for my ass-ult on Denise’s butt. She completely loved the warm sensations. And this thing really held its heat for a long time. In the butt play department, Denise favored the tapered smooth end to the end with the bumps. She said this was the best butt-plug she ever experienced.” Denise agreed with Ken; the weight of the Vergenza Mk. I made for a challenging Kegel exerciser. This is another good reason why this toy is so great. It’s so damn versatile.”

My hat is off to this young toy manufacturing company. They have set a high standard for themselves (and others) and if the pedigree of the Vergenza Mk. I continues in future works of insertable art, we will all be the richer for it.

So the consensus is the Vergenza Mk. I is well worth its high-end price. Dramatic design, stunning craftsmanship and versatility make it a toy that you’ll be proud to own; and one that will last a lifetime.

ENJOY

Rude Boy $79.00

Lookie here lads! I have something that’ll put a smile on your face, a song in your heart and, most importantly, some BIG joy in your bum. Allow me to introduce you to my new BFF — Rude Boy. Just when you thought the women folk had a monopoly on all the vibratin’ fun along comes this little fella.

Hey, wait a minute! Why are people sending me all these things to stuff in my hole? Oh, I know.

• It’s because my butt is my friend.
• It has as many pleasurable nerve endings as my cock.
• Prostate massage is good for me.
• And my ass needs some lovin’ too.

Yes siree, my friends, if you’re lookin for just the right thing that’ll start you down the road to years of prostate pleasure and health; Rude Boy is just the thing for you.

Now don’t get me wrong. When I say I enjoy some stimulation down below, I’m not talkin’ massive insertions. No, I like it subtle. I have nothing against someone pummeling his or her poop-chute with an object that could easily pass for a floor lamp. To each his own! But for me, a little goes a very long way. I prefer to savor, not gorge. That’s way I like Rude Boy. Think of it as a fine aged Merlot for your ass.

Let’s start with appearances. Some guys don’t go in for the butt play thing, because some of the products on the market have a fussy, over-stylized look to them. Not Rude Boy! There’s nothing girly about it. It’s real manly lookin’ from its soft black medical grade silicone shaft with the upward curve, to its classy chrome tip. It’s as handsome as it is functional. Why, you could leave this sonofabitch lyin around the garage or workshop and no one would be the wiser. It looks like the kinda thing ya use to change out the spark plugs.

Rude Boy ‘s smooth shaft is of modest girth (about 1” in diameter). Just about the same size and the knuckle on your thumb (unless you have freakishly small fingers). This makes for effortless insertion even for a beginner. The shank is angled so that when fully inserted its soft tip makes love to your prostate. The tiny silicone cleats on its flared end land smack-dab against your taint (perineum). And the smart bullet end nuzzles your nuts. It’s like three toys in one!

But there’s more. The thing sings…or should I say vibrates. Depress the silicone nub on the bullet and this puppy comes to life. It’s so perfect. (Note: Rude Boy runs on one of those small flat watch batteries. The first one is included. But if you are smart, you will stock up on batteries. You don’t want it runnin’ out of juice mid-diddle, if ya know what I mean.)

And here’s a really big plus in my book — Rude Boy is brilliantly quiet. Believe me, there’s nothing I hate more than to have a discreet pleasure session ruined by a vibe noisy enough to wake the dead. What are some of these manufacturers thinking?

I began my first session lying on my back. I used water-based lube (the only kind of lube to use with a silicone toy) to grease me up inside. This is absolutely essential for all ass play; but you know that already, huh? For this purpose, I recommend a Lube Shooter (C123). You can’t go wrong with one of these doohickeys. It makes gettin the lube deep inside your hole more manageable. I added a nice coat of lube to the Rude Boy shank and presto; it easily slips into place. You’ll wonder how you lived so long without one of these things pluggin your ass.

I gave my innards a few moments to adjust to the insertion before I switched on the vibe. The cleats on my taint and the soft shaft lodged in my bunghole massaged my prostate both inside and out. Jeez Louise, this was fuckin’ amazing. I got to my knees and then sat back on my haunches. This was the ideal position for me. The pleasure was very intense (in a good way) so I just leaned back and marveled at the ooze of precum bubbling from my rigid johnson. And the chrome tip tickled my nuts in the most delightful way.

Remember, not everyone has the same internal anatomy, so you may find that a little manual manipulation is necessary to direct Rude Boy so it’ll settle into precisely the right position for you.

While Rude Boy is designed to pleasure your bum for an extended period of time, it is not a traditional butt plug. For starters, there is no notch on Rude Boy’s shank for you sphincter to lock on to. Depending on your expectations, this may or may not be a good thing. Keeping Rude Boy in place, especially when it’s slick with lube, can be a challenge. But doing so will work your PC muscles like crazy. And everyone knows what a good thing that it, right? Since Rude Boy won’t lock in place, so to speak, without that traditional notch; you do have the freedom to adjust its position as frequently as you want for just the right amount of sensations you need.

Rude Boy ‘s unique hands free design enables you to sit and rock at the same time you stroke and tug on your balls. You’ll love it! Try a little edging while Rude Boy is in place. You will be amazed by the amount of spooge you shoot when you finally cum.

My second ride on Rude Boy was in the bathtub. That’s a right, sex fans, this little marvel is fully submersible. Imagine all the fun you’ll have this summer in the pool or at the beach.

And ladies, no need to get all envious of Rude Boy, because the same folks who developed it makes Rock Chick just for you.

ENJOY