Hey sex Fans!

We need to get one thing straight from the get-go.  This product is not a penis pump even though the website suggest that it is!

I know a little something about penis pumps.  Penis pumps are my friends.  But this, sir, is no penis pump! 

Ok, then what the hell is it?  So glad you asked.  This here is a glorified masturbator.  And I do mean glorified, because is has these bells and whistles that are supposed to make strokin’ your dick more of a mind-bending pleasure.  Alas, I’m afraid that the Stroker is only partially successful in fulfilling that goal.

The Waterproof Turbo Stroker ($89.00) is a handsome lookin’ device — nice appealing shape, sleek lines.  It even has four LED lit buttons at the top of the cylinder that indicates the varying vibration speeds and amount of stroking action.  This has such an appealing look, if your left it out on your kitchen counter top, everyone would think it was one of those handy little blender/mixers that are all the rage these days.

Here’s what I like about the Waterproof Turbo Stroker besides its appearance.

1. I liked the phthalates free silicone sleeve.  It was snug on my dick and the beaded surface was a nice little bonus.  However, if I think the folks who designed the Stroker should have made the cylinder and insert longer.  Anyone with more than an average endowment will feel cramped.  I know I did.  And I ain’t no king kong, if ya catch my drift.
2. I really liked the way the device disassembles for easy cleaning.  You can pop the cylinder and insert in the dishwasher for effortless clean up.
3. I liked that the top of the Stroker unscrewed for easy battery replacement.  One can easily take out the battery pack when the device is not in use.  This will increase the life of the batteries (4-AA, not included).
4. The vibrating action is only pretty ok, but nothing to write home about.  What one does get is a lot of noise.  This is where it really resembles a kitchen gadget.

Here’s what I didn’t like about the Waterproof Turbo Stroker.

1. The stroking action is a joke!  In fact, there’s no real stroking going on here at all.  There is this little plunger type thing that comes down from the top of the unit, which makes this pathetic up-and-down motion that sort of jiggles the silicone sleeve a bit.  At all three speeds the “action” was way more annoying then it was erotic.
2. If ya try to use both the vibration and the “stroking” action at the same time and at the highest speeds, it sounds like it’s gonna take off.  Better get some ear plugs!
3. This thing is very expensive considering how ineffective it is.
4. I thought the manufacturer should have included the first set of batteries.  I wouldn’t have had to scramble all over the house to find 4-AA batteries just to do the review.

In the end, since I had my dick in the thing and the thing was in my hand, I decided to turn off the stroking action (completely useless) and use only the first speed on vibration action (so I could hear myself think dirty thoughts) and leisurely stroked myself as nature intended.  It was a pleasant enough experience; not fabulous, but pleasant enough.  I kept thinking, I wonder if I could whip eggs with this thing.

If you want to know the truth, and I think you should…once I finished testing the Stroker for this review, I shut the thing off.  I took the silicone sleeve off the cylinder, held the sleeve in my hand and reinserted my willie.  Ahhh, much better!  I finished my leisurely stroking session using only my hand and the sleeve.  And ya know what?  It was the best part of the whole experience.

There are plenty of other much cheaper alternatives to the Waterproof Turbo Stroker in the marketplace…maybe not as pretty, but definitely less expensive.  If I were to advise the manufacturer I’d suggest they keep the swell design, lose the “stroking action,” improve on the vibrating action and make it a whole lot more quiet.  Then they’d have a really great product.